


Fix a Heart

by snarkysweetness



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Found Families, Gen, Grant Ward Redemption, Life Model Decoys, M/M, Rebuilding S.H.I.E.L.D., Recovery, Season 2 AU, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2018-02-17 01:15:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 98,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2291552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkysweetness/pseuds/snarkysweetness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Season Two AU: Three and a half years after the fall of SHIELD, Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they’re left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (Skye) I Tried to Sever Ties

**Author's Note:**

> I realize it’s been 84 years since I started posting this fic and I promise I am working very hard on finishing this story. It’s my baby and I want it to be perfect which takes a lot of time and effort. I’d like to welcome new readers and thank those who have stuck with me. Your patience will be rewarded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to welcome new readers and thank returning readers for putting up with me. I started posting this fic 84 years ago, but life got in the way. I’m happy to announce that I’m finishing this bad girl and I’m excited to present to you the new, updated, rewritten, better version of this story. I love this story so much, it’s my baby, and very close to my heart. I’m happy to share her with the people who love this family ensemble as much as I do. Please review, share with your friends, and enjoy.

Her boots clicked against the concrete, echoing through the dimly lit hallway, mimicking the thumping of her racing heartbeat as she followed the guard towards the prison’s interrogation room.

She shivered, a chill slithering up her spine as they descended the stairs to the basement. This place gave her the creeps, which was no easy feat. In the past three-and-a-half years she’d survived her share of hellholes, so for her to find this place unsettling…

Well, there was no use dwelling on it. Because while she was only here to complete a mission, he _deserved_ to be here. She wasn’t going to feel sorry for him just because prison was as terrible as she’d imagined it would be.

“He’ll be right through here, Agent May,” the guard instructed as he led her into the darkest, dingiest interrogation room she’d ever seen. Skye gave him a short nod before he disappeared, letting out a small sigh of relief once he was gone.

She resisted the urge to toy with her hideous wig and instead channeled her nervous energy into inspecting an imaginary dark spot on the wall. She wasn’t ready to see him, and she wanted to put off the inevitable moment of their reunion for as long as possible.

Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of their poorly disguised surveillance cameras. She knew that between her hacking and forgery skills, along with her resemblance to the real Agent May, the chances of anyone discovering she wasn’t actually here on behalf of the CIA were slim; but that didn’t stop her from using her time alone to form an escape plan just in case. She knew better than to not be prepared for everything to go to shit.

Skye was putting everything on the line to be here and winding up in custody wasn’t an option. Grant Ward had ruined her life once and she’d be damned if she allowed him to do it again.

Speaking of the boogeyman…

Two pairs of footsteps vibrated through the room and every inch of her skin went cold as she felt his presence fill the small space, suffocating her. Metal scraped across the concrete as the guard shoved him into a chair and she kept her back to them, unable to look at him.

“Five minutes.”

She nodded, her gaze still fixated on the wall. Her palms were damp. Acid filled her throat. Her heart raced so loudly she was sure he could hear her pulse pounding. She was going to be sick.

Skye could feel his eyes on her as the lights flickered. Neither said a word, though she was certain he had a lot to say. He’d requested to see her so many times she’d lost count. But she’d refused to come, until now, because as much as she hated to admit it, she needed him.

The chair moved again but she didn’t flinch. Her gun was tucked securely in its holster and he’d be bleeding out on the floor before she allowed him to touch her. She wasn’t the same terrified girl he’d met in a van all those years ago. Not only did she have what it took to pull the trigger, she wouldn’t hesitate.

“Sk…Skye?” He whispered in a hollow tone. “Is…” He struggled to speak, voice breaking with emotion. “Sweetheart? Is that you?” He asked, close to tears. “You’re really here?”

Skye _loathed_ him.

How was it that after all this time, after everything he’d done, after he’d broken her heart, she still felt that familiar tug on her heart that pulled her towards him in the first place?

She turned her head slowly, being careful not to look at him. “Shh, it’s me,” she whispered as she slipped her ‘badge’ out of her pocket. She pressed a button and the lights flickered again, leaving the room darker than before. They only had a few minutes before someone realized she’d blown out the surveillance equipment.

Gathering up every bit of courage she possessed, Skye spared him a glance. Only one. Any more than that and she was bound to do something stupid. But she had to see him, just to _know_ he was okay. Sure, she hated him, but she wasn’t a monster. She’d loved him once and she’d be lying if she claimed she didn’t worry about him being locked up in this Super Max shithole (a lie she’d told on many occasions).

It wasn’t until she did so that she realized how close he’d gotten.

Skye stumbled back, needing to be as far away from him as possible, and cursed herself for allowing him to sneak up on her. She was a better agent than this.

Now that they stood across from one another, she was forced to take in his full appearance, and her body went cold again.

He’d gotten so frail since she’d seen him last.

Were they feeding him?

And when was the last time he’d met a razor?

Judging by the jungle living on his face it had been months.

Skye did her best to hide her horror as she watched Ward’s expression change from worry to wounded puppy. Her blood suddenly began to boil as she grew angry. He had no right to feel sorry for himself. He was the one who had broken _everything_. Broken them. Broken her. This was all his fault.

“Skye?”

“I need your help,” she whispered harshly, hating that she was here, that she’d allowed Coulson to talk her into this. But this wasn’t about her anymore.

He nodded like a faithful puppy and _oh_ , was there somewhere she wanted to kick him.

“You said once you’d found things out about me? And when Coulson…He said it was about my parents and that you would only tell me?” Leave it to him to try to manipulate a visit out of her. The day they’d shipped him off to a real prison had been one of the best and worst days of her life (how those all seemed to involve him she would never understand).

“Skye, I’m-”

“I don’t care. There are only three things I want to know: everything about my father, if you still have contacts within Hydra, and if you’re committed to proving you can change.”

Coulson was big on the forgiveness and redemption bullshit, and while Skye wasn’t entirely convinced that Ward deserved it, nor that he could pull it off, she owed Coulson everything, so she’d let this one slide, for now.

He nodded obediently as she moved towards the door.

“Tomorrow. Noon. I’d recommend staying away from the outer wall of your cell, unless you want to get blown up, in which case be my guest,” she instructed as she turned the knob.

“What-wait! I need to tell you-”

“There’s no time, tomorrow,” she muttered knowing her electronic blackout had worn off.

“Skye!” He cried out, pleading. She hated herself for it, but it broke her heart to hear how desperate he sounded.

“No,” she hissed, close to tears, having no desire to hear anything he had to say. Not today.

“Skye, I still-”

The door slammed behind her before she could hear his confession.


	2. (Skye) I Ended Up with Wounds to Bind

**_Three and a half years ago (May 2014)_ **

Skye did her best to ignore the knocking on her door but Coulson was persistent.

“Leave me alone,” she grumbled miserably.

“I could, but I know a young lady whose favorite ice cream is Americone Dream and would be awfully angry with me if Trip ate it-”

Skye flung her bedroom door open with a gasp. “You didn’t? How?” She asked, her eyes lighting up for the first time in weeks. Coulson held out the pint and a spoon with a smile and she hugged him quickly as she took them happily. She rushed back to her bed and jumped in, gleefully digging into the frozen treat.

Ice cream was one of the few things she’d indulged in back in her van days and she desperately needed the comfort right now. Something that felt like home. Plus, she’d been so stressed lately that everything she ate went right into the toilet and man was she starving.

Coulson lingered in the doorway. “May I?”

She nodded, shoving a huge spoonful into her mouth as Coulson entered, closing the door behind him. She realized too late she’d eaten too fast and made a face as her forehead burned with the pain of brain freeze.

“Skye,” Coulson scolded with a sigh.

She pouted in response before eagerly going in for more as he sat on the edge of her bed. “Not now,” she said through a mouthful. “How did we get real food?”

“Manners.” Skye rolled her eyes. It was a little too late for that. “We’ve found more missing agents who are on their way to stick this through with us. The rest-”

“Are with Stark?” Skye asked quietly.

He nodded.

Skye met his eyes with a small frown. It wasn’t that she didn’t blame them, working for Stark was a whole hell of a lot better than literally living underground, but there was such a thing as loyalty. At this rate, they’d never have enough agents to rebuild.

“Don’t give me that look. Tony’s been very generous by taking in agents. Not everyone’s willing to risk prison.”

“Yeah? Maybe you should tell him you’re alive so he can take us in.” She knew she’d crossed a line the moment it left her mouth. “Sorry boss,” she muttered, toying with her ice cream.

“It’s not time,” he reminded her in a tone that made her feel like a small child. “But Maria knows and sent along a van full of groceries with Agents Hunter and Hartley.”

“I’ll send her a ‘thank you’ card,” Skye said seriously, thankful to have something perishable for once.

She missed real food. Or her idea of it anyway.

Living in one’s van didn’t leave room for the healthiest diet, but she made due with the diner every night. And while the bus’s kitchen had only been stocked with the basics, she’d give anything for one of May’s grilled cheese’s right now. Or a burger, fries, and milkshake.

Skye nearly moaned aloud at the fantasy of animal fries.

She would eat twelve if given the chance.

May was training her twice as hard as Ward had and-

She scowled, hating herself. She’d managed to make it a whole five minutes without thinking of the man who’d broken her heart. Now her appetite was gone, and she wanted to throw up.

“Skye,” Coulson said, toying with a loose string on her comforter awkwardly. “I know it’s never a good time, but we need to talk about Ward.”

“No,” she snapped, seething. Of course the ice cream was a bribe, because there couldn’t be one part of her life that wasn’t tainted by Grant Ward.

“I’m sorry but he refuses to talk to anyone but you.”

“I don’t care,” she growled through clenched teeth.

“You’d better, because we need to get as much information out of him as we can.”

“Leave,” she said, shoving his bribe into his hands.

“Skye,” Coulson began with a sigh.

She ignored him, instead pulling her knees against her chest. She could feel his eyes on her, but she stared down at her toes, refusing to speak. He could sit there all damn day if he wanted, she wasn’t going to budge.

He waited another minute before giving up and gave her knee a squeeze before leaving without another word.

As soon as the door closed behind him she angrily threw the first thing she could reach, Ward’s ratted copy of _Paradise Lost_ , against the wall before using her pillow to muffle a scream.

She’d give anything to not feel anything, because this? Feeling everything, feeling so much it made her physically sick, wasn’t fucking okay.

She hated this.

She hated everything.

She hated _him_.

_Then why do you have his things? Why are you wearing his old Academy sweatshirt? Why can’t you erase him?_

“I don’t know!” She screamed, knowing the answer.

A sob escaped her as she curled up into a ball, clutching a pillow to her chest. His pillow, from the bus. It still smelled like him, just like everything else of his she’d taken possession of. She wasn’t sure what had compelled her outburst of rage when they’d tried to throw them out, but she was glad she’d hoarded all his things; they were all she had left of him.

Just because the man she’d fallen in love with was a lie, it didn’t make losing him any easier.

She’d given him everything only to have him betray her. After her shitty childhood she’d tried, _hard_ , to trust people and let them in long enough to love them but until Ward she’d always failed. And honestly if this was love, pining and anguish and heartbreak, then they could keep it. She was done. Done trying. Done being disappointed. Done being hurt.

She’d been abandoned enough in her life, she wasn’t ever going to give anyone else the chance to do it again. It hurt too much. And there was only so much suffering she was willing to endure.

And fuck, was she sick of the lies.

Everything was a lie.

Her parents. SHIELD. Ward.

It was all too much.

Skye wasn’t sure how her tiny body was capable of producing the wail that escaped her throat, but she couldn’t fight her grief anymore and she was on the cusp of a full-blown panic attack.

How could she have been so fucking stupid?

And how could he have…She struggled to breathe as their last few encounters played through her mind like a bad Vine. 

“Fuck,” she howled, covering her mouth, about to be sick. She rushed out of the room she shared with Jemma and made a beeline for the only bathroom on their floor.

“Fucking hell!” She growled, finding it locked. She would never make it upstairs in time, so she threw up into the first thing she could find: every last bit of ice cream she’d inhaled into one of Koenig’s fake plants, all while sobbing loudly.

She let herself fall to floor, still crying. “I can’t do this,” she whispered, hugging her knees to her chest. Nothing she did could get rid of the pain she carried everywhere, weighing her down.

She couldn’t pretend to be fine when the only place that she could call home was gone. Even before she’d joined SHIELD’s ranks it was her real family. It had kept her safe, looked out for her.

And she couldn’t help but feel that the agents who had died to keep her safe had died for nothing. Not only was she not worth their sacrifice but they organization they had died serving had crumbled into nothing.

Coulson could talk about rebuilding all he wanted but they were fugitives. Ghosts. This was too big for them.

And it didn’t help that everything reminded her of Ward.

_“Are you sure you don’t want to-”_

_“No, he doesn’t deserve it,” Skye whispered harshly as she stared down at the group from the catwalk. She hadn’t known Trip long but she trusted him. After all_ he _hadn’t murdered fellow agents in cold blood like_ someone _she had known longer and trusted._

_At least the sight of Ward’s broken face didn’t hurt her the way it would have yesterday._

_Skye turned, ready to go anywhere but here._

_She was sick of looking at him and in that moment their eyes met for a fleeting moment, and an anger she didn’t know she possessed took hold of her entire body._

_“Skye? You’re shaking.”_

_“I’m going to_ kill _him,” she seethed, shoving past Trip._

_She hadn’t hit Ward hard enough earlier. Maybe one more good punch would do him good._

_“He’s not worth it,” Trip whispered as he took hold of her arm._

_It was too late. She stood a foot away from him and dammit, she was so fucking_ weak _._

_“I will_ never _forgive you. I hate you. I hope you rot in prison because hell is too good for you.”_

_“Skye, come on.” May ordered, taking her arm, but Skye couldn’t take her eyes off him. He’d been angry moments before but now…_

Good _._

_He deserved to be in pain because it couldn’t be half as bad as what she was feeling._

_Her heart was broken. She’d gotten used to being cast aside by her foster families, but that pain was nothing compared to what she felt right now._

_She watched as they carted him off the plane and waited until he was out of her sight to turn and sob into May’s chest._

“It’s okay baby, I’ve got you,” May whispered, echoing the same words she’d said to her a month ago.

Skye leaned into her, letting her hold her while she did her best to control her tears. “I know I need to get him to talk but I can’t.”

“You don’t ever have to see him again,” May insisted.

“But Coulson-”

“Coulson will get over it,” she said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Ward isn’t going to talk. He just wants to use his leverage to see you. Trust me, he’ll cave eventually.”

“The Director isn’t going to be happy,” Skye whispered as she pulled away, wiping at her eyes angrily with the sleeves of Ward’s sweater.

“I don’t give a shit,” May said, taking Skye’s face in her hands. A chill went through her as she tried not to confuse May’s role as her S.O. as anything maternal. “You come first. Ward can rot in his cell for all I fucking care. He deserves it.”

Skye’s cheeks went red and she nodded, glancing away in embarrassment. She hated letting people see her cry. In the orphanage she’d learned to keep her emotions in check until she was alone. But she found lately she couldn’t control anything, let alone her emotional breakdowns. And since she was already feeling vulnerable she met May’s gaze again.

“And here I used to think you didn’t like me.”

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “I tried not to,” May admitted.

That stung. “Why?”

“Aside from you hacking into SHIELD to feed information to your anarchist boyfriend?”

“I mean, it was to find my mom, but I see your point,” Skye offered with a grimace.

A smile tugged on the corners of May’s lips. “Hmm, well, despite your charms you remind me of a life I could have had.”

“How?” Skye asked in confusion.

May sighed and gave Skye’s knee a pat. “I’ll tell you what: let’s get you cleaned up and I’ll consider telling you all about it someday,” she offered, helping Skye to her feet. “If you’re still feeling sick because of our ex-boyfriend I’ll make you my mother’s famous tea to cure nausea and I have something to help you with your appetite.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” Skye asked, brushing the dirt off her ass as she followed May down the hall.

“Cheeseburgers,” May whispered conspiratorially, throwing an arm around her. “And the time everyone else smells me making dinner you’ll have already had as many as you want.”

Skye couldn’t help but smile as she leaned into May, feeling better already. At least with May nothing came with strings attached.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Three and a half years ago (July 2014)_ **

“I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be, but this is your last chance to see him, Skye.”

“And I’m good with that, old man,” Skye replied firmly, knowing she’d have no regrets. For the first time in a long time she felt steady. This was what she had to do, and she refused to damage the peace she’d found just so Grant Ward could have closure.

Coulson shifted uncomfortably, and Skye rolled her eyes.

“What?”

“You owe it to yourself to see him. And don’t you think he has the right to know?”

“He lost that right a long time ago,” Jemma whispered.

Skye turned to her in surprise. Seeing her outside of the lab or Fitz’s bedside was a rarity these days, and she hadn’t even noticed her sitting in the corner picking at a piece of dry toast.

“Thanks, Jem,” she whispered, appreciative of the support.

“I’m serious, Skye. Once they take him you won’t ever see him again. He’ll be in a Super Max for the rest of his life. Are you sure?”

“Leave it alone, Phil.”

Skye rolled her eyes with a sigh. The last thing she needed was to be caught in the middle of yet another fight between mom and dad.

“If it was me, I would want to know,” he insisted.

“Well, it isn’t you and it isn’t your choice to make,” May snapped.

“Well, considering we only make poor choices, maybe that’s a good thing!”

“Stop,” Skye ordered, rubbing her temples. “As much fun as it reliving the past,” May had the decency to look ashamed, “and hearing how much you sympathize with Ward,” Coulson looked offended, “I have better things to do today.”

She looked between the two with a frown before settling in on the boss. “I don’t need closure. He belongs in prison. I wish things were different, but this is a sacrifice I have to make. And as much as it hurts, I’m not willing to put my family at risk by seeing him.”

She met May’s eyes and she gave her an encouraging nod.

“I do hope he does get help,” Skye said sincerely, meeting Coulson’s eyes. “Just because I want him to pay for his what he did doesn’t mean I want him to suffer.”

“He’s not as bad as you want him to be,” he insisted.

“Maybe not, but are you really willing to risk our lives on that belief?”

“The cargo ready, Coulson?”

Saved by the Hill.

Skye gave Melinda a grateful smile before slipping out of the room.

As strong as she was trying to be she couldn’t risk seeing him. She wasn’t sure she would be able to send him away if she did. And she had to. Because this wasn’t just about her anymore. It never would be again.

Skye found herself in Fitz’s room. She watched over him sadly, the steady whir of machinery a constant reminder of why Grant Ward finally being handed over into federal custody was the right thing to do. She knew Coulson wanted to save everyone but not everyone could be saved.

And not everyone deserved to be.

Fitz was proof of that.

Three months and no change.

Poor Jemma was falling apart at the seams. She barely ate, she never slept, and Skye knew she blamed herself.

But there was only one person to blame and he was getting what he deserved.

“Don’t worry, everything will be alright.”

But she wasn’t sure she believed it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Present Day (October 2017)_ **

“Nice hair.”

“Shut it, Fitzy,” Skye muttered with a scrunch of her nose. She hadn’t had bangs since she was five. This wig was embarrassing; she looked like a child.

Jemma slapped Fitz’s arm playfully. “I think you look lovely.”

“Not as lovely as you,” Fitz whispered as he kissed Jemma’s temple and pulled her closer. Jemma giggled as he moved to her neck. Skye rolled her eyes.

“Thanks, Jem,” Skye replied dryly, too wound-up and antsy to find their behavior cute today. She crossed her arms with a sigh; she couldn’t believe she’d agreed to do this.

_“How many times have I told-”_

_“We need him!”_

_“No, you think we-”_

_“Skye, we need someone who can infiltrate Hydra! If they think he’s escaped of his own volition-”_

_“What? They’ll welcome him back with open arms? Is that it?”_

_“We need to finish eliminating them as a threat! We have threats on all sides! Hydra, the escaped convicts from the Fridge, your fa-”_

_“_ Don’t _call him that,” Skye whispered darkly._

_He met her eyes regretfully. “I’m sorry, Skye, but with him out there…I will do whatever I have to do to keep you safe. I think you more than anyone understands that feeling.”_

_“That doesn’t mean you go running to Ward! And I can keep myself safe!”_

_“It’s not just about you anymore, Skye.”_

She hated it when he was right.

“Someone snatch Skye’s wig before she goes out in public looking like that.”

Skye glared in Trip’s direction, not in the mood. “Did you two have fun on your little date?”

“I wasn’t aware recon duty was considered romantic,” Trip teased as he ruffled her hair, “but considering your idea of romance is falling love with dirty, rotten murder-”

“Children, please; no need to fight over me,” their new arrival announced by kissing the top of Skye’s head.

“Shut up, Lance,” Skye growled. His beard tickled her chin and it annoyed her that he and Trip were so much taller than she was. She was sick of being used as a leaning post for them and treated like a child. She was not the child here, she thought bitterly as she glared at them. They were the biggest pair of overgrown, whiny man-children she’d ever met.

“Who shoved a stick up Skye’s ass?”

“The only one who likes things up their ass is you,” Trip teased.

She rolled her eyes and moved to the cupboard in need of something to put in her mouth before she punched someone in theirs.

“Yeah, I think we both know that’s not true, mate.”

“Oy, I’m trying to eat a sandwich! When a lady makes you a sandwich you don’t need to hear about dicks in people’s arses!”

“Stop! All three of you! You’re all children!” Jemma scolded. “Besides, Lance, you can’t blame her for being a tad bit uptight today. After all…Well, you _know_.”

“No matter how quiet you whisper, Jem, I can hear you!”

Jemma sighed but it was Fitz who spoke. “I know it’s hard, Skye. I don’t want him here either but if it keeps-”

“Yeah, I _know_.” She caught Hunter watching her critically and she groaned. “It’s just a wig!”

“I know but it’s like you’re a new person; I barely recognize you.”

Skye snorted. “Yeah, think I’d be able to fool my own mother?”

“Dammit where is-” May froze as she entered the room and blinked in surprise. “Skye?”

She smiled sheepishly with a shrug. “What do you think? Do I pass for Special Agent Serinda May?”

“It’s…wow. I wish we weren’t fugitives so I could send her a picture.”

Skye shrugged it off. She didn’t think the resemblance was that close. In fact her baby sister looked a lot more like a younger, carefree version of May.

“Come, Fitz, it’s time for physical therapy.”

Fitz groaned. “Jemma, I still have half my sandwich left!”

Jemma gave him a hard stare. “If I hear one complaint from you, Leopold James Fitz, you’ll be sleeping alone for the next week, got it?”

“How is that different from last week?” Hunter muttered, earning him a death glare from Jemma.

“If you’re leaving, I’ll just finish this,” Trip announced, taking the rest of Fitz’s sandwich.

Before Fitz began to whine Jemma gave him the death stare again. His mouth opened like a fish and he stammered for a full thirty seconds before growling with a stomp of his foot. “Fine,” he complained as he headed out of the kitchen. “But I want you to do that thing you don’t like to do!”

“In his dreams; he’s lucky he’s not sleeping on the floor tonight,” Jemma muttered as she reached for a cookie.

“I heard that!”

“Good! Because I’m not doing it!”

“You should do it more, it’s rather enjoyable,” Hunter teased with a wink.

Jemma scoffed with a roll of her eyes and left the room without dignifying his words with a response.

“You guys are terrible,” Skye scolded.

“Come on, she can behave as prim and proper as she wants but you don’t have to share a wall with them. Sometimes I think they fight just to have kinky make-up sex.”

Trip gave his frequent booty call a shake of the head.

“Fine,” Hunter pouted. “Take their side as always. Sometimes I think you should be fucking them instead.”

Trip rolled his eyes. “Come on, we’ve been sitting in a damn van for days, I need a shower.”

“So? Go? Why do you need me to-” Trip gave him a ‘look’. “Oh, right. See you later, ladies.”

Now it was May’s turn to roll her eyes (Hunter had that effect on people). “Idiots.”

“Yeah,” Skye whispered sadly. She didn’t know how but they’d all somehow found a way to be happy again, even with everything being stacked against them. She was terrified of ruining that.

“Hey, I know…You’re incredibly brave, Skye; you can do this.”

May gave her arms a squeeze and Skye nodded.

“I know but…I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

May reached up and ran her fingers over Skye’s cheek. “Don’t worry, baby girl, we’re all here for you. Nothing bad will happen without one hell of a fight from us.”

“I know you’re right, it’s just-”

“You worry.”

Skye nodded and May pulled her against her chest. Skye wrapped her arms around May’s middle, hugging her back tightly.

“I know you do, baby. I do the same thing when it’s you.”

“So, I’m not the only one who has a stomach filled with knots right now?”

“Nope.”

Skye closed her eyes, glad she wasn’t alone. After a long moment she sighed and pulled away. “So…ready to break our ex-boyfriend out of prison?”

May groaned. “I will give you one-hundred dollars if you never call him that again.”

“Deal,” Skye replied with a smirk.


	3. (Grant) You Can’t Fix What’s Been Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’re only getting pieces of the puzzle.

**_Three and a half years ago (April 2014)_ **

_“And you’ve got the rest of your life to wrestle with the question ‘who are you without him?’.”_

Grant hated to admit it, but Coulson had a point.

He’d spent the past few hours pondering his question and he had come up with nothing. His life had been about surviving until John had saved him. Then it had become about helping John survive. He owed John everything. He had guided him, raised him, given him a purpose, and now he had no one.

John was dead, and Skye hated him, and he had nothing left to live for.

She’d been the one good thing in his life, the one thing he’d found on his own, and now she absolutely loathed him.

There was nothing left for him. _Nothing_.

He felt dead and hollow inside, but he continued to put on a brave face, refusing to be seen as weak.

But he was weak. He wished May had killed him; it was what he would have done. And death seemed peaceful. Easy. Quiet. He’d prefer death to rotting away in a prison cell.

And if he died there would be no one to mourn him.

What a waste his life had been.

The only good thing in his life had been Skye and he’d…he felt sick to his stomach. And if he felt this way…He didn’t know what had come over him. He was a monster. A monster who wanted to bring her down to his level. He was sick. She deserved better.

He wished he would die; then she could be truly free of him. He owed her that much.

Fuck, he loved her.

She was the one bright spot in the black hole that was his life. He wished he could have been better. Been the man she deserved. But he wasn’t. He was nothing.

“Take him to a cell and leave him there until he decides to talk. He’ll crack after a few days.” Coulson was still pissed.

Grant avoided him and glanced up for a fleeting moment and was met with Skye. She stared down at him angrily and he was too weak to look away. She began to shake and…he closed his eyes. This was his fault. He’d done this.

When he opened his eyes, she was coming at him fast and she looked ready to hit him. Good. He deserved it. He’d take a hundred beatings at her hand if he had to; anything to make things right. But she didn’t hit him. Instead, Trip restrained her, but she was close enough that he could feel her pain and anger radiating off of her.

“I will _never_ forgive you. I hate you. I hope you rot in prison because hell is too good for you.” She spat, wounding him with only a few words. He deserved every ounce of hate she sent his way, but it didn’t stop it from hurting.

He wished he could reach out, but it was May who was there to comfort her.

He was the reason she was in pain.

He was going to be sick.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Three and a half years ago (May 2014)_ **

“I’m sorry, Grant, she…” Coulson slid a plate forward and gave him a regretful look. “She’s not ready.”

“Not hungry,” Grant muttered, still refusing to speak in full sentences. Unless he could see her. Unless he could apologize. To try to make her understand so maybe, just maybe, he could fix things so that she could move on and be happy. If not, then he didn’t want to talk.

“You have to eat something.”

“What happened to ‘torture’?”

He knew Coulson didn’t have the stones to follow through with his threats.

Coulson didn’t blink an eye. “I dug around, read the parts of your file that weren’t included in your assessment for the team. Skye was smart enough to back up everything, for when we’re ready to stop running.” He leaned forward and forced Grant to meet his eyes. “I’m not entirely convinced you’re as bad as you think you are.”

Grant simply blinked back. He wasn’t going to play these games with him.  “I want to see her.”

Coulson sat back in his chair with a sigh. “And if she doesn’t come around?”

Grant shrugged.

“I want that plate empty when I come back.”

They both knew it wouldn’t be.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Three and a half years ago (July 2014)_ **

“She’s not coming?”

He knew that look. He was used to it. He just wasn’t expecting to see it today. He knew she didn’t owe him anything, let alone a goodbye, but he missed her.

“I’m sorry.”

“Come on, Ward, there’s a lovely cell waiting for you in prison.”

He ignored Hill, accompanied by Talbot, and kept his eyes on Coulson.

“I really am sorry.”

And he believed him. “I know.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Three years ago (December 2014)_ **

_“You’ve spent your whole life following someone else’s lead. Who are you, Grant? What do you want?”_

He’d been locked away in this hellhole for five months and he still didn’t have an answer for his therapist.

“You’ve stopped eating again. Do you want us to have to put you back on a tube? Do you remember how unpleasant that was?”

“Don’t care.”

She crossed her legs with a sigh. “You can’t starve yourself to death; it’s not going to do anyone any good.”

“Neither is keeping me alive.”

“So, we’re back to this again?”

He was done talking.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Two and a half years ago (March 2015)_ **

A new prison. A new cell. A new therapist.

And he still had no fucking clue who he was.

But he knew what he wanted. Or rather who.

He still wanted to die.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Two years ago (September 2015)_ **

“You shaved.”

“I want to look nice for her.”

“Has she answered one of your letters?”

“No.”

“But you’re hopeful?”

He shrugged, unsure.

“Well, it’s something.”

“Yeah, it is.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Two years ago (October 2015)_ **

He sat in the corner of his cell, on the floor, sobbing.

Her name was the only thing that emerged from his lips, like a prayer. A prayer of pain. What had he done?

“Skye, Skye, Skye.”

Who in the hell had he become?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Two years ago (October 2015)_ **

His therapist called it a vitamin B deficiency due to his new hunger strike. He called it going out of his fucking mind.

He saw her everywhere. When he was let out for his walks. In his sleep. In his cell.

She was haunting him.

They’d thrown him into a padded cell ‘for his safety’ but it hadn’t helped. Their drug cocktails didn’t help. The force feeding didn’t help.

She was his goddamn ghost of sins past and he wanted so desperately for her to be real.

He’d sent so many pleas for her to come, tried to write her letters explaining why he’d done what he’d done, but they’d all been returned. He’d burned the lot of them and then spent a week in SHU.

She was never going to come. All he had were his delusions.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Two years ago (November 2015)_ **

He began to live for his hallucinations.

Fuck, he needed help.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_One year ago (August 2016)_ **

“No one.”

His therapist, his fifth, glanced up in surprise. He was in a new prison; somewhere back in California, but it didn’t matter. This was his life now, he’d come to accept it. Moved every few months to prevent being ‘comfortable’. Always kept in solitary. He was a national security threat. Considering everything he’d done, he knew it could be worse.

Coulson had found a way to convince them he needed help. These therapy sessions had been forced on him. It wasn’t until he realized John had simply replaced his brother that he began to take it seriously.

He’d fucked up so much and he was still broken but he wanted not to be.

It was the least he could do for her. Even if she’d never know, he had to do this for her.

“What?”

“I’m no one. You all keep…I’m no one.”

“What do you mean, Grant?”

“My whole life I’ve been that scared kid who couldn’t stick up to his big brother. And now…I don’t know who I am. I guess I’m no one.”

His therapist closed his folder. “Well, now we’re getting somewhere.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Present day (October 2017)_ **

Grant sat in shock as he stared at her. He blinked repeatedly. This had to be another hallucination. She couldn’t really…He felt tears in his eyes as he struggled to grasp for reality. He closed his eyes and tried to fight off her image but when he opened them there she was, still staring away from him.

He’d dreamt of her coming to see him for so long, but he never thought…

Why did it have to be now? He’d been doing so well. He didn’t have the answers he’d been looking for yet, but he hoped to someday. He was still damaged, but he was piecing himself back together. He wanted her to see the end result, to see the man who could someday be worthy of her, not this shattered mess.

She was still as beautiful as he remembered and dammit, he still loved her.

“Sk…Skye? Is…” He struggled to find his voice, but this was her. He could smell that faint body mist she was so fond of and she looked different. Different meant it was her. If she’d looked the same...

“Sweetheart? Is that you? You’re really here?”

He didn’t even care that he was about to cry. His therapist insisted expressing his emotions was healthy. And if there was anyone he trusted to see him like this it was her. He knew now love wasn’t weakness, it was strength, and she made him want to be strong.

“Shh, it’s me,” she hissed as she turned her head slightly. She averted her eyes, but he could see her now. She was _older_ ; she’d changed the hair, her clothes, she held herself in a stiffer manner, and she was… _hard_ was the only way he could describe it. This wasn’t the spirited girl he’d fallen in love with. She was just as broken as he was, and he knew he was to blame. 

And there was something else, something he couldn’t identify, but…

He stood, drawn to her like a damn moth to a flame, even after all these years.

Grant avoided the flickering lights and very slowly approached her, not wanting to spook her, but still needed to assure himself she was real. He didn’t trust himself not to imagine all of this.

When she jumped back from him he knew he deserved it, but it didn’t stop the pain he felt. He hadn’t meant to…

“Skye?”

“I need your help,” she said cutting right to the chase.

He nodded. He’d do anything for her, _anything_ , which terrified him. There were so many things he never wanted to be forced to do again. But for her? He’d go straight into the pits of Hell if she asked him to.

“You said once you’d found things out about me? And when Coulson…he said it was about my parents and that you would only tell me?”

He opened his mouth and then closed it. Right, she hadn’t read his letters…

“Skye, I’m-”

“I don’t care. There are only three things I want to know: everything about my father, if you still have contacts within Hydra, and if you’re committed to proving you can change.”

He nodded once more. He’d tell her anything she wanted. And he _had_ changed. Maybe not enough for her but he was trying.

“Tomorrow. Noon; I’d recommend staying away from the outer wall of your cell, unless you want to get blown up, in which case, be my guest.”

He flinched at that. He deserved it.

But he couldn’t let her leave yet. “What-wait! I need to tell you-”

“There’s no time, tomorrow.”

“Skye!” He called desperately. He had to tell her…just _once_.  He’d missed his chance and he needed to do this for his recovery and because if they were going to work together she needed to understand.

“No.” He could hear the pain in her voice, but he continued anyway, he couldn’t let her leave without knowing. She had the right to know, before she broke him out of here; it could very well be a deal breaker.

“Skye, I still-” She disappeared, and the door slammed behind her. “Love you,” he finished weakly as he fell back into his chair.

“I still love you.”


	4. (Grant) Breathe Again

He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting but it sure as hell wasn’t a half-assed explosion in the yard below that only took a small portion of his wall. Furrowing his brows in confusion, he glanced through the small hole she’d created in the wall. He knew Skye, her bombs were some of the best he’d ever seen (which had always made him question just _how_ she knew how to make them so well) so he quickly caught on that the explosion was meant to be a diversion. His suspicions were confirmed when the alarms sounded for a lock-down and guards rushed past his cell, headed for the prison yard.

“Babe,” he muttered in amusement with a shake of his head as he glanced back out of the window to his cell, watching for her.

When a full minute went by with no sign of her he glanced back through the hole. Had he read this situation wrong? Was he expected to climb through that?

No, that was stupid- “Holy shit,” he whistled as Skye came into view, sliding from ceiling’s duct system into the hallway, strapped into a harness. Hair pulled back. SHIELD issue black ops uniform clinging to her in all the right ways. Damn, she was still sexy as hell.

_Focus!_

Now was not an appropriate time to have images of throwing her against a wall running through his mind.

Later, maybe. If they didn’t die, or worse-get caught, first.

“Stand back,” she ordered. He jumped back and grabbed the pillowcase filled with his few possessions. A moment later a small explosion ripped through his room, blowing the lock off his door. “Move your ass!”

Grant hauled ass into the hallway and caught the rope she threw his way.

“Follow me up and to the left; there’s an opening that goes up to the roof. We have about two minutes before we get shot at so try not to get me killed,” she said before disappearing through the ceiling.

Grant sighed. He was really going to do this, wasn’t he?

Fucking A.

He followed her and moments later they were rushing across the roof to a waiting quinjet. And sure enough, as they jumped in there was gunfire.

“This is the worst prison escape of all time!” He’d fallen in love with a lunatic.

“Oh really? Let’s see what you could pull off while living underground and on the run from the feds, asshole!” Skye spat back as she threw her gear off.

“Children, enough; you can argue later. You know, when the men with guns aren’t shooting at us!” Trip called as he lent a hand to help Grant narrowly miss a bullet. Grant gave Trip a quick ‘thanks’ as the hatch fell closed and they were slammed into the wall as the quinjet was off.

“Wait, who’s flying the-”

“Next time I’m not breaking into the prison _and_ flying the getaway car,” Skye griped from the pilot’s seat.

“Holy crap.” Sure, she’d looked fine as hell in her tactical gear and hoodie but now… _Wow_. And it wasn’t just because he’d been living surrounded by men for nearly four years either. She had somehow gotten more beautiful than he remembered.

“Dude, don’t let her catch you getting a boner,” Trip warned, helping Grant buckle in. “She’s still rightfully not over the whole Hydra betrayal thing and I don’t want blood all over my jet.”

Grant began to laugh nervously but the look Skye sent their way shut him up real quick. He had no doubt she would kill him if he gave her a reason. Hell, he’d given her plenty. Best to keep his damn mouth shut.

“Atta boy,” Trip said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Enjoy the ride.”

Trip moved to the co-pilot’s seat and strapped in. “Why are you bitching? I was the one up all night staking this place out after two days of recon duty. You can call someone else the next time you need a favor if you want to complain.”

“Ah yes, I forgot, we must all be so grateful to you Stark sellouts. Thank you, Trip, for leaving your plush accommodations in the Avengers Tower to aid us lowly SHIELD fugitives.”

Trip gave her a ‘look’ and Skye flipped him the bird.

“The last time I checked you and Maria had poached everyone who didn’t wind up in prison or defect to Hydra so excuse me for needing to borrow your dumb ass every now and then. If you don’t like it, ‘no’ is a complete sentence.”

“Like anyone is stupid enough to tell you ‘no’.”

Skye smirked. “See, I knew you had a brain.”

Grant exhaled.

_Damn._

Badass was a good look on her and he was a stupid, _stupid_ man for losing her.

Twenty minutes later they landed in one of the abandoned S.S.R. airfields. Skye ignored him as they gathered their things and headed towards a black, unmarked SUV. Trip gave him a pitying shrug before climbing into the passenger’s seat. Grant sighed, knowing to keep his mouth shut but she had to talk to him eventually, right?

The next hour was spent with him listening to Skye and Trip bicker over everything. His new job with Stark. Her driving. The songs on the radio. By the time they pulled into an underground bunker he nearly jumped out of the car, relieved to get the hell out of there. After being locked up for years, being trapped in a tight, confined space was uncomfortable enough without having to witness the love of his life flirting with Trip the Golden Boy.

Grant wasn’t one to make assumptions, but he was almost one hundred percent positive Skye had moved on with Mr. Perfect, who was everything Grant could never be even if he tried. And while he wanted her to be happy he didn’t have to witness it.

Maybe this was a mistake. He was more than happy to stay in prison, paying for his crimes, and he didn’t owe SHIELD shit. But, he did owe Skye. Because he loved her. Hell, he still loved her. He’d always loved her. And her happiness mattered more to him than his own. And if he could help keep her safe then the torture of seeing her happy new life and not being a part of it would be worth it.

It still sucked though.

The power couple flashed their lanyards for a scanned, keeping them up as they barged into the base, leaving him to catch up.

“So, what are we-” Grant froze in the doorway when he saw who they were flashing their lanyards to.

_No._

“Can you two show him to the Director’s office? We have things to do,” Skye instructed as a second Koenig emerged.

 _Don’t leave me_ he thought as he blinked at the pair, willing them to be a figment of his imagination.

“Skye, wait!” He called, but she was already gone, and he was left alone with the…brothers? Twins? Whatever. The carbon copies of an agent he’d killed.

He was going to be sick.

“Hello Agent Ward. Welcome to The Playground. Follow us,” the first said, leading him past a common area and towards a hallway. “Director Coulson is on his way but there are a few protocols we need to go through before we can get you set up with a lanyard.”

“I’m sure he’s all-too-familiar with the protocols,” said the second. “And killing.”

The first groaned. “Sam, manners.”

“Manners are for people who didn’t murder our brother.”

Grant had to stop to grab hold of the wall. He took deep breaths, trying to fight off an impending panic attack. Though he’d been in for a life sentence, his therapist had still walked him through facing his actions. And while he was fine with that, this wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind.

What genius had thought it was a good idea for his welcoming committee to be the brothers of the man he’d killed?

“Ward.” May said coolly as she appeared from nowhere, doing her best not to smirk at his suffering.

Of course. Because this day couldn’t get better so why not get worse?

Coulson materialized from the doorway behind his second and frowned. “Billy. Sam. What are you two doing to Agent Ward?”

“I’m not an agent anymore, sir,” he replied, standing up straight and wiping his sweaty palms on his prison uniform.

“I’m so sorry,” the nice twin said. “We didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but you understand? Sam’s still angry.”

“As I should be,” Sam said, moving into the room May and Coulson had emerged from.

“I’m Billy,” the remaining twin said, holding out his hand.

“Grant,” he whispered numbly, shaking his hand as he followed him into the room, Coulson and May on his heels.

“We’ve got the lie detector test to get out of the way first. You know the drill.”

He nodded obediently. As uncomfortable as this all was for him, he was sure it was a million times worse for Billy. And if he could manage civility the least Grant could do was keep his mouth shut and do as he was told.

Billy strapped him in then moved to the machine, turning it on. Sam kept a close eye on him, probably to make sure he didn’t use any tricks to beat the test. Coulson and May stood at the back of the room, watching him with serious expressions.

“What is your full name?” Billy began, each question eerily familiar to the last time he’d done this.

Once the control questions were out of the way, Billy glanced towards the boss and gave him a nod.

Coulson stepped forward and glanced down at Grant with a frown. “Ward, I’m really sorry about this, but I don’t have a choice.”

“Choice about-What the fuck?” He yelped as for the second time in his life he was unknowingly injected with a truth serum.

“Should have gone for his throat, Phillip,” May commented with a smirk.

Coulson ignored her. “You understand? We have to be sure. Give it a minute to kick in and we’ll continue.”

“Bastards,” Grant whined, wishing he wasn’t tied down so he could rub his sore arm. “Should have known you only broke me out to torture me.”

He leaned back, already dizzy. Fuck, this stuff was stronger than the last time.

“Grant?”

“Piss off, Coulson.”

“He looks ready to go,” May quipped, entertained with his suffering.

“Try to look less pleased, Melinda.”

“Can the two of you stop bickering and fuck already?”

May laughed. “For a murderous piece of shit, he’s hilarious when he’s high.”

Coulson rolled his eyes and returned his attentions to Grant. “Why are you here?” He asked, getting on with the interrogation.

“Because you brought me here,” Grant sassed. There were no amount of drugs that would make him endure this with a smile on his face.

Coulson smirked. “Fine. Why did you agree to come?”

Grant met Coulson’s eyes. “You know why,” he said evenly, in no mood to discuss his feelings. Not about her. Not here. Not to anyone but Skye herself.

“No, I don’t. I haven’t seen or spoken to you in over three years. I don’t know who you are anymore or why you would want to help us. And before we can allow you to be around our agents, to live on our base, to trust you in our home, we need to know why you agreed to come here.”

“It sure as hell isn’t for you.”

“Then why?”

Coulson kept his eyes on Grant’s and after a moment he had to look away, unable to stand the intensity of his gaze. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on a wall of surveillance monitors. On one Skye stood in the kitchen with Jemma and he sighed dreamily as every ounce of resistance left in him faded; Coulson’s truth serum was good.

“I told you; he’s here for her,” May muttered in a sharp tone. She uncrossed her arms and glared at Coulson angrily.

Coulson avoided her and stared down at Grant. “Ward,” he said, firmly this time. “Why are you here? If you don’t answer me, I’d be happy to give Colonel Talbot a call. Rumor has it he works for you brother these days. Did you know he’d been elected Senator?”

Using his family to coerce him, that was…impressive, actually. Garrett would have done worse. He continued to watch Skye for a long moment before slowly turning his gaze to the Director. “Skye,” he answered finally. This was useless, they all knew why he was here but if Coulson needed to hear him say it, fine. He had nothing to hide; not anymore.

“I’m here for Skye,” he repeated evenly. “I am not loyal to you or to SHIELD. I am not here to make amends or to be your good little soldier. I have no interest in any of this; I never did. I only joined SHIELD, then Hydra for John. Because he saved me and because I owed him a debt.

I’m sorry for what I did but I can’t change the past,” he spared both Koenig’s a remorseful look, knowing they were due better than some crap apology from him. “I deserve to be locked in prison and I’d much rather be there than be here working for you but if Skye needs my help, then I’m in. I owe her that much.”

He met Coulson’s gaze once more. “And she does, right? That’s why I’m here? She’s in danger, isn’t she?” For them to have come to him for help they had to be desperate.

He just wanted to keep her safe. She was the only thing left in this world that he still loved; he needed her to be okay.

“We’ll ask the questions, Ward,” May snapped.

Coulson crossed his arms, giving her a pointed ‘look’. They argued for a moment, using only their eyes, until she rolled hers in defeat.

Still the same old married couple he remembered them to be.

Sighing, Coulson returned his attentions to Grant.

“We have a few more questions and then you can ask yours. Deal?”

“Fine.” It wasn’t, but he knew they wouldn’t give him any answers otherwise.

“We need to know everything you know about Skye’s father.”

May shifted uncomfortably, all the color leaving her face. Coulson spared her a fleeting glance but said nothing.

Grant closed his eyes, the overwhelming urge to sleep hitting him.

“Ward!” May yelled, shaking him out of it.

He sat up straight, blinking as he tried to remember what Raina had told him.

A vivid image of the massacre came to him then and his stomach flopped. Right. China. Her father. _That_ bastard.

“Her father worked for Hydra. I’m not sure if that’s why but SHIELD took Skye from her parents not long after she was born. There was a base in China, near where he’d been hiding out. They were keeping her there, I guess until they could move her, but they tracked the team down and killed everyone. Agents. Personnel. Villagers. An agent managed to get out with Skye. She was wounded though; when they found them, Skye was still in her arms, covered in her blood, and the agent was dead.”

That last part Skye had told him herself, but since he wasn’t sure what she’d shared with her pseudo parents he was going to disclose everything he knew.

Said ‘parents’ exchanged a worried glance and Coulson reached over to grasp her hand. She gave it a squeeze before linking their fingers together. May closed her eyes and released a shaking breath before she met Grant’s eyes. “When you say they were looking for her…were…” Her voice broke and for the first time he saw some vulnerability slip through her stone-cold demeaner. Grant could see her composure wavering, but Coulson seemed to steady her. After a moment she found her voice again. “Were they planning to kill her too?”

Something wasn’t right. Everything about May’s reaction was off. Since when did she care this much about Skye?

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. He wasn’t going to question them, not when keeping Skye safe was the objective. “Skye’s DNA profile was on the drive Garrett took. Something about a mutation or something, I don’t know the science, reminded her of a story her grandmother had told her about a pair of monsters that tore apart a village in China searching for a baby, and I figured out it was Skye because of what she’d told me about her parents.” It wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

“This isn’t anything we didn’t already know, Phil,” May whispered hopelessly.

“There’s something else,” Grant whispered, feeling sick. This was the part he didn’t want her to know. She deserved better. It was bad enough she’d endured the pain of being abandoned and knowing she’d been purposefully moved around, unable to find a real family. He didn’t want to cause her more pain, but he knew his girl would never stop until she had all the answers and maybe in knowing the truth it would keep her from getting into trouble searching for them on her own.

“After she told me the story, I asked her if the monsters killed the baby’s parents.”

“And?” Coulson asked when Grant stared down at the floor, ready to be sick.

Taking a deep breath to calm his stomach he looked back up at the pair. “The monsters _were_ the baby’s parents.”

May looked ready to be sick too.

“Did she say anything else?” She asked.

This was one of the things he was most ashamed of. He’d been so lost back then. So easily manipulated. Nothing would ever make up for what he’d done but he had to try.

“She claims there’s a ‘darkness’ within Skye. Says she and Garrett saw her future. That when this darkness is awakened she’ll become a divine being. A monster; just like her parents.”

_You could be monsters together._

He’d never forgive himself for entertaining the idea of taking her to her father. So she could become a monster, like him. So they could be together.

He truly hated himself.

“What?” May whispered helplessly, letting Coulson pull her against him. Her hands shook. He could see she was terrified which left him terrified. He’d never seen Melinda May this close to falling apart. She was a pillar of strength and composure and anger. If she was scared, then shit was a lot worse than he’d imagined.

“What did she mean by that?”

“I wish I knew. She was talking nonsense, like Garrett, but she did tell me something else.” He directed this next bit at Coulson, not sure he could handle May’s reaction. “Her father is alive, and he’s never stopped looking for her.”

When neither looked surprised it finally hit him; this was the danger Skye was in.

“Raina went to him, didn’t she?”

When they didn’t answer his heart began to race as panic set in.

“Please! Did he do something to her? Did he find her? I’ve told you everything, just tell me what’s going on with Skye!”

“Not until you answer the rest of our questions.”

“Dammit, Phil!” May snapped, pulling away from him. “Now isn’t the time to be the boss!” She yelled, voice trembling.

“Melinda, he doesn’t have clearance-”

“Oh, fuck your protocols!” She turned away from Coulson and stared down at Grant angrily. “Skye is in danger and you’re the only person who can give us intel on Hydra, so we can find the bastard responsible.”

“Melinda,” Coulson warned, but she was furious.

“This isn’t a game! That bastard is after her for a reason and I’m not losing her again!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have married a psychopath, Melinda!”

He seemed to know he’d crossed a line because the fear on his face was real.

“Don’t you dare blame me for this!” May hissed, getting in Coulson’s face.

The fear was back. May looked ready to kill Coulson and he was sure he’d be next.

“The mists, Melinda! The experiments! The crystals? He wasn’t trying to get her to transform, he was trying to make her into a twisted monster, like him.”

“Skye’s an angel,” Grant mumbled, his head falling against his chest. The room spun, he was tired, and he suddenly couldn’t feel his fingers. “Not a monster. An angel,” he repeated. “My angel. I love her so much. I’ll keep her safe, I promise,” he slurred, slipping in the chair.

“For God’s sake, Phil,” May scolded, falling to her knees so she could help him by lifting his head. He blinked as her face filled his vision, covered in stars. He giggled and reached out to touch one but his hand fell limp to his side. “How much was in that dosage? He’s a mess.”

“It was supposed to be a normal dose,” he said irritably, staring the brothers down with a May-like glare.

Sam shrugged. “I doubled it to make sure it worked.”

“Out!” Coulson ordered and when Billy didn’t follow his brother he added “Both of you!”.

May groaned and ran over her face. “For fuck’s sake,” she muttered before helping Grant to his feet. “Come on, walk and talk. Walk and talk. Get him some water. I’m not letting him die on our watch. Our daughter will have a fit if he does.”

The next few minutes were a blur. May forced him to drink an entire bottle of water and kept him walking in circles until he collapsed into a chair in the corner. He rested his cheek against the cool brick wall, thinking the only thing that had ever felt so good on his skin was Skye’s touch. “Can I sleep now? I want to sleep,” he mumbled, already drifting off.

“Not yet, Ward. Skye still needs your help.”

He perked up.

“I’ll do anything for Skye.”

May stared back at him sadly, like she understood, and handed him a second bottle of water. “There was a doctor who used to work for Hydra: Calvin Zabo. Back then he was probably going by Dr. Seamus MacDougal. Do you know of him?”

Grant wrinkled his nose in disgust. “He’s a bad man.”

May sighed. “Ironic coming from a man who killed four agents, tried to murder his team, and kidnapped the woman he claims to love.”

“Melinda,” Coulson warned.

Grant closed his eyes, his body feeling heavy. He did his best to fight the effects of the drug, but it was stronger than he was.

“He’s useless, Phil. We should try again tomorrow.”

“I’m fine,” Grant insisted, wanting to help. “John didn’t trust him. I know John was bad too, but this guy was dark.

He kidnapped dozens of people. People with powers, regular people, soldiers, anyone he could get his hands on for his experiments. He’s the one who created the machine John used on Raina. It’s supposed to unlock memories, but I think in her case it just made her crazy. And he created another that Hydra used to brainwash those who wouldn’t join the cause willingly.” Everything he knew about Hydra was so much more horrifying now that he saw it all clearly, without John’s influence.

“We already knew that,” Coulson muttered, but Grant wasn’t done.

“He’s the one who started Centipede. He wanted to control evolution. Force powers on people, I think.”

He took another sip of water, trying to clear his head.

“According to John he was obsessed with creating a master race of people with powers. There are people born with mutations that give them powers. I don’t know how it all works but when Hydra finds these people they take them, by force if necessary, and then brainwash them to serve them. And then there’s people who get them because of freak accidents, like Donnie Gill. The doctor was obsessed with figuring out how to create them. He wasn’t born with powers but because of his experiments he was able to mutate his genes to have them. And he was trying to do it to others, build his own army of mutants.”

Coulson froze and stared at him in horror and May turned a shade of green.

“What does any of this have to do with Skye?”

When they didn’t answer he started piecing it together, going through everything he knew. When it finally hit him, he shot out of his chair, suddenly sober as fuck.

“That’s what he wants, isn’t it? Her DNA…She already has the mutation!” It was all coming together. “He can’t get near her!” Now his hands were the ones shaking. “He’ll try to exploit whatever mutations are in her genes. Even if they’re not there, if he gets his hands on her he will take her apart. Tear her open like a machine and twist her insides around until he transforms her into an actual monster, like him.”

_“He wasn’t trying to get her to transform, he was trying to make her into a twisted monster, like him.”_

It all made sense.

“The Doctor is Skye’s father.”

_“Our daughter.”_

Which meant…

“You’re Skye’s mom?”

May glared at him but the expression on Coulson’s face was all he needed to confirm he was right.

“We’re done here,” she replied coldly, leaving him alone with Coulson.

“Sir?”

“Thank you, Ward. This was all very helpful. But it’s not enough. I need everything you have on Hydra. How they operate, secret channels, your contacts, all of it. We may even need you to go back in and infiltrate them and take them down from the inside.”

Coulson took a seat and ran a hand over his face, clearly exhausted. “I’m sick of my agents being treated like terrorists when Hydra’s still operating within the government. They shouldn’t have to keep living like this: on the run, trapped underground on bases, unable to live their lives. And they’re the lucky ones because they aren’t in prison. I want our lives back. I want SHIELD to be legitimized again. Hydra needs to be burned to the ground, starting with Skye’s father.

And I need your help to make it happen. If you’re up for it.”

Grant sat across from Coulson, feeling purpose for the first time in years.

“I’m in.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Coulson offered. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I’ll do anything if it means keeping Skye safe.” Just because she hated him didn’t mean he still wouldn’t die for her. “Besides, I’m already here so you might as well put me to work.”

“It won’t be easy,” he warned. “You hurt a lot of people and they’re not happy with me bringing you here. And the others hate you on principal because you worked for Hydra. But if you’re willing to put in the work, I think they’ll all come around eventually.”

“I’ll do whatever I can to make things right, sir.

But…”

Coulson sighed. “What?”

“I just have to know…Why were you willing to give me a second chance?” He’d never understood why Coulson had worked so hard to help him, even after everything he’d done to the team. “It’s not like I deserved it.”

“That’s not true,” Coulson said with a smile.

“I’m going to tell you a story, Ward.

There was a girl. Teenager. When I met her…Let’s just say her body count was higher than yours will ever be. When she was brought to me she was on SHIELD’s kill list. But I saw something in her worth saving so I fought to keep alive.

And it’s a good thing I did because she somehow found a way to make up what she’d done, to live with her past, and to move on to do great things.

No one is hopeless, Grant, not even you. We all deserve a second chance. Every person is worth saving if they’re willing to do the work, and I think you are.

Besides, I’m a sucker for a comeback story,” he said with a shrug.

Grant smirked, staring down at his lap. He didn’t have the words to respond but Coulson’s kindness had an effect on him. Phil Coulson was everything he’d wished John Garrett was and Grant wasn’t sure he deserved any of this, but he wasn’t going to throw away his shot at proving he was worth it.

“But Grant?”

He finally looked up to find Coulson staring at him intensely.

“If you ever hurt anyone on my team again, I will stick you in the dirtiest hold I can find where you will spend the rest of your very long life suffering a fate worse than death,” he warned.

“And as a condition of your stay here you’re going to personally apologize to every single member of the team for hurting them, along with Agent Hand’s team, and the Koenig brothers.”

Grant nodded. “Of course.”

“Also, we will be monitoring your every move,” he motioned to the table where a box sat.

Grant stood, already suspecting what he’d find inside. But when he popped it open he was surprised to find a silver ring instead of the bracelet Skye had once been forced to wear.

“Let me guess, if I try to remove it-”

“A thousand units of detrotoxin will be injected into your bloodstream and when you wake up you’ll be in one of the vaults downstairs.”

“Fair enough,” Grant muttered as he slipped it onto his finger, hissing in pain when a needle poked him before disappearing back into the band.

“Once I feel you’re not a threat, the tracker will be adjusted so you can come and go as you please.”

“Thank you, sir.”

He was sure if May had it her way he’d still be a prisoner. At least Coulson was treating him like a person.

“Come on,” Coulson ordered, holding the door open. Grant followed him out into the hallway. “You’re going to be rooming with Agent Hunter.”

“The same one who used to run the STRIKE division?”

“That’s the one.

I’ll show you to the common area and you can explore the base if you’d like. It’s past dinner time but the kitchen is stocked if you’re hungry. I’ll have Hunter track you down to show you to your room.”

They stopped outside of a room where Grant could see a few familiar faces. His palms began to sweat. He knew he had to do this, but he wasn’t ready.

“One more thing before I go, Ward,” Coulson said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “If you break my daughter’s heart again, I will personally make sure you regret every moment of the rest of your miserable life, do you understand?”

Grant didn’t even question him. Skye had always been his favorite and everyone knew Coulson and May were a thing. If Skye was hers it made her his too. And Grant had no intention of pissing off either one of her parents again.

“Don’t worry sir, I’ll keep my distance. Not that I’ll have to; she hates me.”

“Whatever you say,” Coulson teased with a smile. “Besides, I don’t care what the two of you do. Skye’s a grown woman who can make her own decisions. But if you hurt her again, I will destroy you. I refuse to watch her suffer again because of you.

You may think you understand what a big deal this is, me giving you a second chance, but you don’t.

Every person on our team has been to Hell and back and if you do anything to ruin their happiness I won’t be able to be held accountable for my actions. Understood?”

Grant knew he’d hurt them and he deserved their hate. He had no intention of ever hurting them again, but he didn’t say a word. He just nodded in agreement.

“Good, now go on in. Hunter’s the one glowering and drinking beer.

Oh, and fair warning: he has his own reasons to hate you.”

 _Wonderful_.

“But he’s usually too drunk to care. The kitchen’s through the double doors. Try to get some rest; you’ve had a long day.”

“Yes, sir.”

Coulson walked past the common area and headed towards a staircase to where Grant assumed was his office. He was half-tempted to just turn, run, and find someplace to hide, but he was sure his little tracker would prevent that, so he took a long moment to brace himself. It wasn’t like he’d be able to hide in his room all the time, especially when he had no idea where it was, so why not bite the bullet?


	5. (Grant) Stitches

_He was half-tempted to just turn, run, and find someplace to hide, but he was sure his little tracker would prevent that, so he took a long moment to brace himself. It wasn’t like he’d be able to hide in his room all the time, especially when he had no idea where it was, so why not bite the bullet?_

Once he worked up the nerve to face everyone, he entered the common room to find it occupied by his new roommate and three of the four people he wanted to see least: Skye, Trip, and Jemma.

Fine, so maybe he wanted to see Skye. Sure, it hurt like hell, but he’d always been a glutton for punishment, and even when she gave him her hate face it was still beautiful.

As soon as they caught sight of him their conversation died. Skye shot him a look of pure hatred and he wondered why he’d never seen the resemblance to May before now. If looks could kill those two would be the deadliest women on the planet.

“Welcome to the Shatterdome, mate,” Hunter greeted as he looked Grant up and down, a shit-eating grin on his face. One arm was already around Skye, but he pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before taking a long swig from his beer. “I hear you’re the bastard who killed Vic. What a waste; she was too damn fine a woman to be taken out by someone who looks worse than the Unabomber,” he complained, his face hardening, all joking gone from his voice.

So, this was Coulson’s master scheme, huh? To throw him into the ring with people who had good reason to hate him and wait for one of them to kill him? Jemma had already tried and failed: who would be next?

 _I’m sorry I killed your friend_ seemed like a poor opening, so he stared back at his roommate, unsure of what to say.

“Ignore him,” Trip said, rolling his eyes. “He’s just being an asshole.” He used his foot to pull up the chair nearest to the sofa and motioned for Grant to take a seat. “You two can cry your issues out later,” he offered, holding out a beer as he used his foot to pull out a chair for him. “It’s the shitty imported kind Jemma likes, but it’s better than nothing,” he teased.

If Trip held any sort of resentment he was damn good at hiding it.

“I’m good,” he said, waving off the beer. The last thing he needed tonight was to be further under the influence.

Instead of sitting he forced himself to look at Jemma. While he expected to be met with the same rage she’d shown during their last encounter he was heartbroken to be met with sadness instead.

Anger he could handle. Anger he deserved. But this? She’d been like a sister to him. He didn’t want her to be miserable.

“Jemma, can we talk?” He asked quietly, avoiding the stares from the others. He knew an apology would be worthless, but it was at least a start. Anything to get that look off her face.

“I need to check on Fitz,” she muttered, ignoring him as she jumped up and shoved past him.

“I’m sorry,” he called after her, knowing going after her would be a mistake.

Shit, this was going to be harder than he thought.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be fine,” Hunter offered, finishing his beer. “She’s always been an emotional brat. Give her a few days, she’ll come around.”

Skye scoffed with a roll of her eyes before giving Hunter a ‘look’. He didn’t seem to notice though, he was too busy toying with her hair while popping open a new beer.

“What?” He muttered in annoyance when he caught her hate stare.

“You know what,” she hissed before taking the beer from his hands and claiming it as her own.

“Oy! I was drinking that.”

Skye shrugged and took another drink. “Tough shit.”

“Bloody menace,” he muttered, reaching for another. “You’re lucky I love you.”

Grant felt his stomach drop as he glanced over to Trip who was more interested in peeling the label off his beer than with Skye. When he turned his attention back to the love of his life she was busy inspecting Hunter’s stubble, complaining he needed to shave while he poked at her side, reminding her she had a single grey hair she should pull out.

There was an ease and banter to them that made him feel incredibly stupid for assuming the man she’d moved on with was Trip.

How long had his new bunkmate been shacking up with his ex-girlfriend?

He felt the urge to vomit again.

He really hated his fucking life.

Without uttering a word, he finally took a seat, doing his best to avoid staring at Skye and her new boyfriend but he could feel Hunter’s eyes on him. Reminding himself that Skye was not his and that punching his new roommate would be a bad idea he worked up the nerve to address the situation, so they could get the awkwardness out of the way.

“Look,” Grant began but Hunter wasn’t in the mood to let him talk.

“You know, I don’t know what she saw in you,” he said seriously before staring down at Skye. “Tell me, love, was it the brooding that turned you on? Or all the bloodshed? I don’t see the appeal myself. I’m much better looking. And not a traitor. An upgrade, really.”

Trip snorted. “You have the ugliest mug I’ve ever seen, and you whine too much; she can do better than either one of you.”

“Oy! Like you?”

“I’m the total package,” Trip teased, winking in Skye’s direction. “When she’s ready for a real man, she knows where to find me.”

He knew the point of this was to make him uncomfortable, but it didn’t stop it from working.

Skye rolled her eyes. “You’re both fucking morons.”

Hunter leaned down and kissed Skye’s temple with a smirk. “But you love us.”

“No. I hate you both,” Skye scowled in disgust as she shoved Hunter away from her.

“Just admit I’m the best-looking man in this room so Hunter can stop deluding himself,” Trip said seriously.

“Sorry, you’re not my type,” Skye teased.

“Liar!” Trip pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek while she chuckled, complaining about his beard tickling.

“Yeah, Charles Manson over there is more her type,” Hunter said, rolling his eyes.

Skye stopped smiling and the tension returned to the room.

He could feel a verbal lashing coming but thankfully Trip was there as a buffer.

“Her type or not, I’m still the hottest piece of ass in this room.”

Hunter smirked and took a drink again. “Can’t argue with that fact. His dick isn’t bad either, even if mine is better.”

Skye made a face. “I do not need to hear you two argue over who has the better dick for the hundredth time, thanks.”

“Of course not, we all know it’s mine,” Trip insisted.

“Want to get Skye in on a threesome so we can find out for sure?”

“Gross,” Skye muttered in disgust.

“The offer always stands,” Hunter teased.

Skye continued to make a face while downing her beer. “Why don’t you ask your ex-wife to join you?”

“But then who will he fuck when Bobbi and I decide to run away together?” Trip teased.

“Why would you run away together when I have the stamina to handle you both as it is? More proof I have the superior penis in this relationship.”

“Or that you’re a whore,” Trip said irritably.

“True. Say, why don’t we just make it an orgy: you, me, this one, and Bob. What do you say?”

Skye hit him with a pillow. “Stop.”

“Seriously, stop,” Trip said, no longer amused.

“Don’t be jealous love, I’m just teasing her. We both know she only gets turned on by serial killers and Bobbi doesn’t like me that much.”

Tension filled the air as Skye glanced in his direction, so he reached for a beer just to have something to do.

“Or the four of us could fuck?” Hunter offered, breaking the tension again.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Skye screeched before burying her face in her hands, ears red.

“Do you want a list? Or?”

“Why am I even friends with you?” She whined.

“Because I’m a lovable teddy bear,” Hunter teased, ruffling her hair. “And because you’re stuck with me, so you might as well enjoy it.”

“Not to interrupt this lovely conversation,” Grant said, finding there was only so much of this trio he could handle. “But you two?” He asked, motioning to Hunter and Trip, trying to sort this out.

“Are bi together? Yes?” Hunter answered, amused by Grant’s confusion.

“And the two of you aren’t?” He asked, motioning between Hunter and Skye.

“Sleeping together?” Skye asked incredulously once she figured out what he was getting at. “No!

Not that it’s your business who I sleep with but gross.” Skye shuddered in disgust and polished off her beer. “Jesus, Ward!”

“Thank God,” Grant muttered, not sure he could handle witnessing her with another man.

“Don’t look so pleased; I still hate you,” Skye said, glaring in his direction.

He deserved that.

“I know that, and I know I owe you two apologies too,” he said, glancing at the boys, “but can we talk alone?” He asked, meeting Skye’s eyes and wow, the hate face was back.

“Abort mission,” Hunter whistled under his breath. “You’ve poked the dragon.”

“Or not?”

“No, it’s fine,” she insisted with a forced smile as she stared him down. “He wants to talk?” She chuckled but he could see her rage beginning to surface. “Fine, let’s ‘talk’,” she said with a shrug. “Let’s talk about how you lied to everyone on our team for over a year,” she said nonchalantly. “About how you were working for a man who had me shot,” she said angrily, looking ready to kill him. “And how I almost died. That was fun. And the whole time I was fighting for my life you were pretending to care but really you were reporting back to the bastard who wanted me dead.”

“Skye, I didn’t know-”

“Shut up. You don’t get to speak.”

Both Hunter and Trip cowered as she loomed over Grant who had never been more afraid in his life.

He deserved this and if anyone had the right to kill him it was her, but if he had to die he wanted to do so with her knowing he did really love her.

“But-”

“You pretended to love me, so I would fuck you, and then you thought I’d be stupid enough to hand over our team’s intel to you and when I refused you kidnapped me.” Every single word dripped with pure hatred and he could see time had done nothing but fueled her anger.

“I wasn’t pretending,” he insisted, knowing he had no right to defend himself but needing her to know.

She glared down at him, fingers itching towards the gun at her hip, but she settled on curling them into a fist instead.

“Now, now, love. I know we hate him and he’s terrible and all that, but maybe try to spread the anger out a bit so you don’t wear yourself out,” Hunter offered, trying to defuse the situation before Skye killed him.

“You forgot the part where he killed Hunter’s S.O. and dumped his baby cousin and her boyfriend into the ocean,” Trip added.

“Yeah,” Hunter muttered before sitting back with a shrug. “Fuck everything I just said; kick his ass.”

Grant closed his eyes, prepared to at least be punched in the face but thankfully he was saved by a high-pitched scream filling the air.

Skye jumped to her feet as a little girl, who didn’t look old enough to be on her own, rushed past him and threw herself into Skye’s arms.

“Mama!” She cried, wrapping her arms around Skye’s neck as she scooped her up and held her tightly against her chest.

“Hush, baby, I’m here. You’re safe.”

The air left his body as he gripped his armrest so hard his knuckles went white.

He stared at the pair in shock before reality set in.

Skye was a mom.

_Shit._


	6. (Grant) It’s Like You’re Pouring Salt in My Cuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No matter what you think is happening, read until the end because I guarantee you’re wrong.

He thought he’d experienced pain before but nothing in his past compared to watching Skye comfort the beautiful child in her arms.

A child that wasn’t his.

“Mama! The monsters!” The little girl cried while Skye clutched her protectively.

“It was just a dream,” Hunter insisted, placing a hand on her back while Trip hung back and watched them, worry lining his features.

Agony set in as he watched Hunter comfort her. It should be him at Skye’s side, not him.

“Blood everywhere,” she sobbed, crying into Skye’s neck.

Skye held her tighter and began rocking her gently. “It was just a dream, pumpkin. You’re safe. The monsters are never going to hurt you again.”

Grant’s blood began to boil at the thought of anyone daring to hurt this little girl.

“Daddy’s the monster,” she whispered, still crying.

_Shit._

Who was he? He would find him and kill him.

Skye tried to calm her by ‘shushing’ her quietly while cradling her head against her chest.

“That isn’t your daddy, baby girl,” Skye whispered, kissing her temple. “Your daddy’s gone, remember? The man in your nightmares is my daddy. He’s the bad monster, not your daddy, okay?” Skye whispered, close to tears.

“Daddy’s not bad?” The little girl whispered.

Skye glanced in his direction for a moment before returning her attention to her daughter. “You’re an angel, baby,” Skye whispered, tucking her curls behind her ear. “Angels don’t come from monsters.”

“Bad grandpa is the monster?”

“That’s right,” Skye replied weakly, defeated.

“He not here?”

Hunter leaned over and kissed her cheek with a small smile. “No, and he’s never coming near you again. I won’t let him.”

“Promise, Uncle Lance?”

“I promise. No one’s going to hurt my favorite princess.”

“I’m your only princess.”

“For now,” he replied with a smirk.

A wild Jemma appeared. “I’m sorry, Skye. I peeked in to check on her after finding Fitz asleep and she just ran past me looking for you-”

“Don’t be, Jemma. She’s fine right here. Aren’t you?”

The toddler nodded aggressively as Skye ran a hand through her hair. Skye gave her a soft smile, but Grant could see the tension in her throat. She was struggling to hold it together.

Grant wasn’t entirely sure what Skye’s father had done but he recognized their fear. It was clear everyone in this room loved this tiny human and the Skye he knew would destroy anyone who hurt the people she loved. He wouldn’t want to be that bastard if she ever saw him again.

“Alice, baby,” Skye met Hunter’s gaze, her eyes filled with terror. He gave her a nod, as if they’d been through this before, and she sighed. “Was this a regular nightmare? Or a memory?”

Grant blinked in confusion. She couldn’t be more than what? Three? How could she have-

 _Fuck_.

His heart raced as he stared at Skye’s daughter, struggling to do the math.

 _Once is all it takes_.

Was she?

_No._

If she turned three in January, it meant…

_No. No. No._

It couldn’t be.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.

_Fuck!_

What had he done? He was supposed to be there, supposed to be better than his father, and instead…

His entire body went cold as realized he’d missed his child’s entire life.

Grant ran his hands over his face, close to tears, his eyes never leaving the beautiful little angel in Skye’s arms.

The love he felt for Skye was nothing compared to what he was feeling now for their daughter.

He couldn’t believe they’d made this tiny, beautiful, perfect person.

He took deep, shaking breaths to fight off a fresh wave of tears.

Skye glanced his way and he broke.

All he wanted was to wrap them both in his arms and keep them safe, but he could see from the look on Skye’s face that she wasn’t going to let him near their daughter. He couldn’t blame her, he’d fucked everything up, and she had every right to hate him, but this was his daughter too. She couldn’t stop him from loving her and doing everything in his power to make sure no one hurt either of them again.

And when he found Skye’s father he was going to kill him. He’d lose his soul all over again if it meant protecting their daughter.

Though, he wasn’t sure anyone was going to get through Skye. _This_ was the change he’d noticed in her. She wasn’t just his Skye anymore, she was someone’s mom. A mom who looked ready to kill to keep her baby girl safe.

How was it possible to fall in love with her all over again?

“Lance, take your niece,” Skye whispered, her eyes never leaving Grant’s.

Hunter took Alice carefully and held her against his chest. She yawned and hid her face in the crook of his neck. He smiled down at her and kissed her temple before giving Skye a warning glance. “Remember, you can’t k-i-l-l him in front of the b-a-b-y.”

Skye ignored him and crossed her arms, staring down at Grant, her eyes never leaving his as she spoke.

“She’s mine,” Skye said evenly. “ _Only_ mine.”

Yup, not only was still completely head over ass for her while she still hated his entire existence, but he was even more in love with her than ever.

He was screwed.

“Skye-”

“You stay away from her or I will _kill_ you. Do you understand?”

“Skye, I would never hurt her!”

“Do you understand?”

Her voice was sharp and firm. There would be no negotiating with her. And he couldn’t blame her for wanting to keep him out of the baby’s life but wasn’t this why he was here? He realized now the only reason they would resort to breaking him out of prison was for the baby. The team was a family and they would die for one another and if dealing with him being back meant keeping one of their own safe…

“Fine, I’ll stay away! But I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to keep her safe.

I love you.”

Before Skye could react, Alice lifted her head and met his gaze.

Of all the trauma he’d endured in his life, nothing compared to the terror he felt in this moment.

She blinked at him curiously, taking his breath away. “I know you,” she said, her angelic voice reminiscent of her mother’s.

 _Yes, you do_ he wanted to say but he kept his mouth shut. He had no idea what Skye had told her about him and he didn’t want to make things worse.

_Daddy’s a monster._

No matter how much Skye hated him she’d never let her child believe that, even if it was the truth.

“Alice, time to go back to bed,” Skye ordered.

“You’re the reason mama’s sad,” she mused quietly, breaking his heart.

And from the look on Skye’s face he could see she wasn’t lying. Could he be so lucky? That she still loved him?

“Mama’s sad a lot,” she whispered, “because you.”

How was he supposed to respond to that?

“Skye, I’m so sorry,” he whispered, seeing the hurt on her face. His pain was nothing compared to what she’d been through. He’d left her alone, broken-hearted, betrayed, and pregnant. She’d been forced to do everything on her own because he’d been too much of a coward to come clean.

“Baby girl, look what I brought you,” Trip called out, breaking through the tension like a ray a sunshine.

The moment Alice realized Trip was there she forgot all about her parents and threw herself into his arms happily. “Uncle Trip! You home!”

He chuckled and hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head. “Of course! I would never miss your birthday; it’s not every day your favorite girl turns three.”

His heart fell to the pit of his stomach. If she was already turning three that meant…He felt sick. She was too old to be theirs.

“She’s not mine?”

This feeling in his chest? This was real pain. Pain worse than anything he’d ever experienced wrapped into one.

Did this mean she was already pregnant when they…?

There was no way. The shooting would have killed her. Right?

Had she adopted her?

But how did she look so much like Skye?

It didn’t matter because she wasn’t his and he was devastated. He’d only just discovered her existence and he already loved her.

“Skye?”

She looked at him sadly and shook her head. “I tried to warn you,” she whispered.

“I don’t care.”

It didn’t matter who her father was, he loved them both and he was all in.

“But I do,” Skye said sadly.

“I’m still going to keep you both safe.”

“I know.”

Maybe he’d never get to be a part of their lives in any way that mattered, but he would die for them. He understood Coulson a bit better now. Skye wasn’t really his, but he knew that didn’t matter to Coulson. Love made a family, not blood. And Grant loved them both.

“Look, mama!” Alice giggled, holding a stuffed monkey with a smile on her face, all evidence of her earlier breakdown gone.

Grant smiled proudly. She was resilient as hell, just like her mother. And with Skye for a mom and Melinda May as a grandmother, she was going to be one tough cookie.

Skye ruffled Alice’s curls.  “Let’s go, baby. Auntie Jemma needs to take you to the Infirmary to make sure you’re okay and then I’ll put you back to bed.”

Alice shook her head furiously, clutching Trip around the neck. “No want!”

“Skye, perhaps we can do it in the morning? After she’s rested,” Jemma suggested.

“I want Uncle Trip to tuck me in. I like his stories and he does the voices better than you do, mama.”

“All right, pumpkin,” Skye whispered, defeated. “I’ll be in soon.”

“Can Uncle Lance come too? He knows where to check for the monsters.”

The light left Skye’s eyes, but she nodded.

She kissed the baby’s cheek and watched the men take her sadly.

Grant’s chest ached. He hated seeing her in pain, but he couldn’t even comfort her. He felt useless.

“You told me the medication would help,” Skye whispered once they were alone.

“I said it _might_ -”

“She is a baby, Jemma,” Skye said, her voice cracking. “She shouldn’t have to suffer with my memories. You need to fix this. This isn’t fair.” Skye was in tears now.

“I can’t even keep her safe,” she cried, close to falling apart.

Jemma took hold of Skye’s arms to keep her steady. “I know it isn’t fair, but I don’t know how to fix this. She’s so young and we don’t even understand how her powers work or how to control them. I’m doing the best I can and so are you. None of this is your fault. It’s his. He did this to her, not you.”

“Really? Because it feels like my fault. I’m her mother, I’m supposed to protect her, but sometimes I think I’m the one she needs protecting from.”

“You need some sleep, Skye. You’ll feel better once you’ve had some rest.”

“I’m fine,” she argued.

She looked in his direction, remembering he was still there, and sniffled angrily. “I hate you, this is your fault,” she spat before storming out of the room.

“Skye, wait!”

Jemma caught him by the arm before he could rush after her. “She needs to be alone. Don’t take it personally; she needs someone to be mad at and when it comes to anything related to Hydra it’s easier to blame you.”

“What did he do to them?” Grant asked, feeling sick.

He fell to the sofa and buried his face in his hands, wrecked with guilt. There were a million things he should have down differently. He knew none of this was his fault but maybe if he’d come to his senses sooner he could have been here to keep them safe.

“Here.” He looked up to find Jemma offering up a plate with a sandwich. How long had he been sitting here lost in his own angst? “I thought you might be hungry.”

“Thank you,” he said, grateful and confused. Not only did she have no reason to be kind to him, but she’d made his favorite.

“I need to speak and for you to not interrupt,” she said, standing in front of him, wringing her hands.

“I can do that.” He owed her much more than that.

“First…I’m sorry.

And before you start, you did not deserve that,” she said, close to tears. “I should have listened to your side instead of trying to get revenge. I hated you for trying to kill us and then I turned around and did the same thing to you, so I guess we’re even.”

“Jemma-”

“You promised not to interrupt.”

He held his hands up in surrender and she continued.

“I forgive you for what you did to me. Not just because of what I did but because I can’t keep holding on to that anger. It’s not healthy and I have to focus on taking care of Fitz and hating you doesn’t help anyone. But I don’t trust you. And I don’t know if I can forgive what you did to Fitz, but I do forgive what you did to me,” she whispered, fighting tears.

“Are you-”

“Not yet.”

Jemma wiped at her eyes angrily and took a few deep breaths to compose herself.

“He was going to die for me down there, Ward. And I was too selfish to let him and because of that, he’s not the same. It’s been almost four years and he’s still recovering. He’s had the best doctors Tony could find but _he’s still not the same_.”

Her voice broke and she shrugged, trying to shake it off.

“I just don’t have the energy to hate you,” she whispered sadly. “I just want him to be okay and for us to be happy. And I don’t want you being here to change that because as much as I hate to admit it, we need you. That monster already destroyed my best friend and hurt that little girl and he’s not going to stop coming after them. He needs to be stopped and I know if anyone can do it, it’s you. Because you know how Hydra operates and because I know no matter what Skye might think, you never lied about loving her, so you’ll fight like hell for her.”

“Damn right I will,” he whispered, hating seeing her this upset. “Alice too. She may not be my daughter, but she’s Skye’s and I love Skye, so I love her.” She was an innocent child and children deserved to be loved and protected. Neither he nor Skye had that growing up and her little girl deserved more than that.

“I know it’s selfish of us to use you like this but I’m so grateful.” Jemma choke back a sob, trying not to cry. “I love that little girl so much.”

Jemma tried to speak more but her small frame was overtaken by sobs and it came out a jumbled mess. Grant pulled her into his arms without thinking and when she didn’t pull away he held her close, letting her cry. He couldn’t do anything to change the past, but he’d do his best to make things better now.

“I’m so sorry, Jemma,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I should have been here.”

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry,” she whispered as she pulled away, embarrassed. “I shouldn’t have lost it like that.” She used her sleeves to wipe at her eyes and motioned towards his sandwich. “I’ll go and let you get to your dinner.”

“Wait,” he said before she could rush off. “Can you tell me what happened? What did he do to them?”

When she didn’t answer he nodded, remembering he wasn’t really a part of this team anymore.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s okay,” she whispered, looking up at him. “You need to know. We’re not entirely sure what Alice’s powers are but they seem to involve some sort of mind-reading abilities. And even if we did understand them she’s still young and needs to develop her gifts. All we do know is sometimes she sees things. Flashes of thoughts. Memories. It’s usually innocent but a few weeks ago she started having these recurring nightmares. But they’re not really nightmares. They’re Skye’s memories from when she was kept prisoner by her father and tortured.”

Jemma glanced down at her lap and covered her mouth. She fought back a sob and took a deep breath before meeting his eyes again. “He had Skye for over ten weeks before we finally found her. He spent most of that time trying to break her. He tried to brainwash her, but she wouldn’t break. He kept her locked in cell that was no more than a dirt hole in a basement when he wasn’t torturing her in lab, running experiments on her, performing surgeries, just…” Jemma shook her head. “We’ll never really know what happened to her. She doesn’t talk about it. And when we finally got her back she was so far gone she didn’t know fiction from reality. We tried to fix her by using the machine we took from Garrett, but it just made things worse. It made her relive everything. She was better off when she couldn’t remember.

It’s not fair. Skye’s been through so much and she doesn’t deserve this hell.

She’s a shell of a person. Not because of what he did but because of what he might do. She lives in fear of what might happen to that little girl. That isn’t a life worth living.”

“I’m going to kill him,” he growled, ready to hunt him down right this second.

Jemma sobbed again, and he abandoned his revenge fantasy to wrap an arm around her. “I’ll get him, Jemma.”

“I know,” she whispered, using her sleeve to wipe her eyes. “But until then you need to stay away from Alice. I know you won’t hurt her, but she is too young to control her powers and-”

“She doesn’t need more trauma because of me?”

Jemma nodded. “I’m sorry, but with your family history, there’s a good chance she might see something she shouldn’t.”

He nodded. “I understand.”

“I’m doing my best to learn about her powers, so we can help her, but until we know how it all works, it’s best to take precautions. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

She gave him a half-smile. “You should eat. You’re not going to be able to protect anyone being that damn skinny.”

A smile played on his lips. “Okay, mom.”

They sat in silence while he ate his sandwich. He used that time to work up the nerve to apologize.

“Jemma, about what I did-”

“You don’t-”

“No, I do.”

He waited until she was looking at him to continue. “I know it doesn’t excuse anything, but I swear I was trying to give you both a chance. I couldn’t kill you, but I needed Garrett to think you were dead. If I hadn’t, he would have ordered someone else to do it. I thought with the escape pod least you’d have a chance to find a way out, like you always do. It wasn’t supposed to sink. And I know it doesn’t erase the trauma of what I did but I’m so sorry, Jemma.

I know it doesn’t fix anything, but I am. And I’m going to find a way to make it up to you.”

“Oh, Ward-”

“Crumpet?”

They glanced up to find Hunter in the doorway with a bottle of scotch in one hand and two glasses in the other.

“Skye’s off pacing the hallways. She might need someone with more tact than I have to attend to her.”

“I’ll go.” She gave Grant’s hand a squeeze as she stood.

“How’s the little one?”

“Asleep. Just like your little guy.”

Jemma shook her head with a smile as kissed his cheek. “Love you. Goodnight.”

“Love you too,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. “Just promise to keep it down the next time you two have crazy monkey sex? It’s bad enough I know you’re being defiled, I don’t need to hear it.”

Grant smirked into his glass of milk.

_Good for you, Fitz._

Jemma rolled her eyes.

“At least I’m only sleeping with one person.”

“ _Goodnight_ , Jemma.”

“Wanker,” she chuckled before leaving the room.

“Scotch?” Hunter offered, taking a seat.

“I shouldn’t.”

“There’s lots of shit you shouldn’t do but turning down a stiff drink isn’t one of them. You don’t have to get wasted but you look like you could use it.”

That was true.

“Fine, but just one glass.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

Hunter finished his glass before Grant took his first sip. He hadn’t touched alcohol in years and it burned more than he remembered but man, he’d missed it.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, mate.”

Grant watched him pour another glass and withheld a sigh. Now was as good as time as any to do this. Best to get it all out of the way so it was done.

“Look, Hunter, about Agent Hand-”

“I get it, mate. You were just carrying out orders. None of us are innocent. I’ve taken my share of lives. And I won’t lie, I loved Vic like she was my other mom and I do kind of want to punch you in the face but I’m not going to try to kill you or anything. Coulson’s orders are to trust you and I’m not good at much, but I can follow orders when I feel like it.”

“I’m still sorry. She didn’t deserve to die. None of them did.”

“True but I’m not the one you should be apologizing to. Hartley’s the one you need to watch out for. She’s going to kill your ass when she comes back and finds out you’re here.”

“Who?”

Hunter smirked into his glass. “Vic’s widow.”

“Fuck,” he muttered, closing his eyes.

“You’re a piece of shit, Ward, but I like you. At least you feel bad for what you did. Aside for Barton, Romanoff, and Rogers, my entire division was Hydra and those bastards had no remorse for what they did that day. Taking a life is shitty and a last resort but these bastards were having fun. I know it was our job to take out threats, but I don’t trust anyone who isn’t haunted by having to kill. It’ll feel good to put the rest of them in prison.”

“It’ll feel good to do a lot of things,” Grant admitted, finding Hunter was growing on him.

“Like a shower and a good night’s sleep?”

“Yes.”

“Good, because you look like shit.”

Grant chuckled. “Yeah, well, I was too pretty for prison, had to let myself go.”

Hunter downed his drink with a laugh. “I’ll show you to our room now; I can give you a tour of the base tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” Grant said, picking up his dishes and following Hunter to the kitchen where they rinsed them off.

“And I should warn you, we share a wall with Fitzsimmons and they’re loud as hell. You might want to get some earplugs.”

“Good for them.”

“No, not good,” Hunter argued, leading him downstairs. “Jemma’s my sweet, innocent baby and that animal has turned her into a harlot. I mean, I don’t know what the bloody fuck he’s doing to her in there but she’s always screaming for him to do it harder when it’s clear he’s already doing it pretty hard.”

Hunter could be as overprotective as he wanted but Grant was happy for them; it was about time those two stopped dancing around their feelings.

“Do me a favor, Ward?”

“What?”

“The next time you want to get your friends together, maybe just lock them in a closet instead.”

He knew Hunter was teasing but Grant couldn’t laugh about that.

“How bad is he?”

“Better. He was in a coma for the first six months, had a few surgeries to repair the nerve damage. He still has some problems with his hands, and sometimes he forgets words but Jemma’s usually around to help him.

But don’t feel bad, at least get got the girl.”

“Yeah, but it’s not fair to Jemma, is it? Having to take care of him? Because I ruined him?”

“That’s part of the whole commitment thing, Ward. Relationships are messy and hard and a lot of work. She knew what she was getting into and she does it because she loves him. And taking care of the person you love is a lot better than some of the stupid shit most of us to for love. Look at you; you broke out of prison because you love Skye.”

He couldn’t argue with that.

“I’d do anything for her. And that little girl,” he admitted.

_What do you want?_

How many times has his multiple therapists asked him what he wanted out of life. He’d never been able to give them a real answer. He’d been so lost for so long but now he knew what he wanted: To be with Skye. To raise her daughter. To be a family.

All he’d ever really wanted was to have a real family. People to love and protect who loved him back.

Skye and that little girl were all he wanted now.

“I don’t blame you. That little thing is everything, mate. I have no idea it was possible to love another person like that until I met her. She’s got me and everyone else on this damn team wrapped around her wee finger,” he said proudly.

“What?” Grant asked, sensing something was off. He was out of practice but reading people was one of his specialties.

“It’s so stupid. I was married to the one and I let her go because she wanted kids and I was convinced I’d be a terrible father.

I know being an uncle isn’t the same but now that I’m around her, I see why people have kids. And I’m not terrible with her. We could have made it work if I hadn’t been so stubborn.”

He stopped walking and turned to Grant seriously. “Don’t give up on Skye. If you really love her, fight for her. I wish I’d done that with Bobbi.”

“She despises me. And even if she forgave me, I’m not good enough for her. She and that little girl deserve better than me.”

He sighed. “I’m going to tell you something and if you tell her I told you I will kill you. That girl of yours is tiny and cute and I love her, but she scares the shit out of me.”

Grant did his best not to smirk at the thought of his girl scaring a grown man who happened to be a trained assassin.

“It’s true that she hates you but she’s also still in love with you. In fact, that’s probably why she hates you so much. And I know there’s a lot of shit for you two to work out, but if you love her and she loves you then you should find a way to make it work.”

“Wow,” Grant whispered. “I’m rooming with a guy who’s going to make me watch romantic comedies, aren’t I?”

“Look at you, making jokes already,” Hunter said proudly.

Grant shrugged, it had to happen eventually.

“But seriously; fight for her. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

And Skye deserves someone who loves her and will be her partner. She has so much to deal with: being a mom, an agent, keeping her kid safe, struggling to get past what their father did to them. It’s a miracle she’s still sane. But there’s only so much she can keep doing on her own, you feel me?”

Grant nodded as they started walking again but then…

“Wait…” he stopped in his tracks. “What do mean ‘their’ father?”

“Right, I forgot you haven’t been here…Alice is her little sister, mate. When we rescued her, they were the only ones still alive.”

Grant could see how haunted Hunter still was over the memory.

“We didn’t even find the baby at first. We’d been searching for Skye for weeks and when we found her she was losing it, screaming for us to find the baby. Trip’s the one who found her. Alone. In a make-shift NICU.

According to his notes the bastard experimented on Alice’s mom while she was pregnant. He only kept her alive to see if she’d developed powers while in the womb.”

Grant leaned against the wall, wishing they’d brought the scotch because he needed another drink.

“Coulson tried to give her up, but Skye wouldn’t let him. She didn’t want her to grow up in foster homes, so she decided to raise her.”

That explained everything. Her age. Why she looked like Skye. And it gave him an incredible sense of relief to know the woman he loved hadn’t had a child with another man. It was stupid and selfish, but he was stupid and selfish.

“She’s not the same. She’s harder and meaner. And she’s not going to forgive you without making you work for it but she’s still Skye. She still loves you. And once you prove that you’re worth forgiving, she’ll come around.”

“I hope so.”

“Me too. I love her like a sister and I want her to be happy. And that kiddo deserves a dad who isn’t a murderous piece of shit.”

“Then that isn’t me,” Ward muttered, following him down a hallway with ten doors, five on each side.

“We’re right here,” Hunter said, pointing to the first door on the left. “Coulson got you a few basics to get settle in. It’s tiny, but we’ve got our own bathroom. Here,” he used his lanyard to scan the door open. “I’ll leave you alone to get settled.”

“Thanks.” He couldn’t wait to have a hot shower. And to sleep on a real mattress instead of a glorified cot.

“And Ward? No matter how bad you are, you’re no worse than the majority of us. Remember that.”

Grant nodded and watched Hunter go to what he assumed was Trip’s room. He couldn’t help but feel bad for The Golden Boy. He knew what it was like to be used to get over someone and it was clear Hunter wasn’t over his ex-wife.

Grant began closing their door when the door across from theirs opened and a startled Skye appeared. He stared past her into the room to where Alice’s tiny form was asleep in one of the beds. He did his best not to smile and met Skye’s eyes. She stared at him, a range of emotions playing across her face.

He struggled to find something, anything to say, but in the end he knew the best thing to do was to give her time to process his presence. With a small nod in her direction, he closed the door, leaning back against it once it clicked shut.

He wrangled his shaking hands, struggling to keep himself from rushing back over there, confessing how much he loved her, and begging her to forgive him.

This was going to be a lot harder than he anticipated.


	7. (Skye) It’s Like You’re Pouring Salt in My Cuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the worst of the angst, I promise.

**_November 2014_ **

_She woke to piercing cries filling the air. But they were so far away. And her head was foggy._

_Where was she? Why did she feel so lifeless? Who was crying?_

_Skye reached instinctively for her stomach, wanting to reassure the little one that she would keep her safe, but she couldn’t. Panic set in as she realized she was strapped down, unable to move. She turned her head wildly, taking in the utensils on the side-tray, the marks on her body, the dried blood on the sheets and her clothes, and worst of all…_

_A loud wail left her lungs at the sight of her flat stomach as everything came rushing back; the way it always did when she woke from a drug-induced sleep._

_Cries filled the air again and she wished she could cover her ears, unable to stand it anymore. She wasn’t sure what was real and what was her mind playing tricks on her, but she couldn’t bear the sounds anymore._

_She was a mother without a child and she wanted nothing more than to be free of this hell, to let the darkness claim her, so that at least they could be together again._

Skye’s heart leapt in her chest as her entire body sprung into motion, a reflex she still couldn’t explain taking over. Shock had erased her ability to feel physical pain weeks ago, so when her restraints kept her tied to her cot, her red, raw wrists fighting against their hold, she didn’t feel it. The only pain she felt was the kind you felt deep down in your soul, the kind no amount of shock or torture could wash away.

A sob escaped her as she writhed around, trying for the millionth time to slip her bone-thin hand through its restraint. Her body gave out after a few minutes, her mind still racing.

She heard the familiar cry again and instinct took over; the baby needed her. She had to find a way out of here.

_Baby…_

Skye pressed the back of her head into the harsh mattress and bit her lip to keep her cries from filling the room.

He couldn’t hear her, if he did…He knew what hurting the baby did to her and she couldn’t give him another reason to do it.

Skye needed to get them out of here; it was clear her family wasn’t coming for her. Maybe they were trying but it’d been months; they were never going to find her. She was on her own and maybe if it was just her she’d have long-ago given up fighting, but she couldn’t let her down. Skye had lost too much already, she couldn’t lose this too.

“Sweetheart, you’ve misbehaved again; you know what that means.”

“No, please,” Skye whimpered. She barely had time to protest before he slipped a needle into her arm, shushing her cries as the drug made its way through her bloodstream.

Skye could feel her consciousness slipping but she was incapable of not fighting until the end. “Please, you have me, just let the girl go.”

The last thing she registered was the sound that haunted her nightmares; her father laughing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_October 2014_ **

_The thing was, when there was something inside of you, something alive…you know when it’s gone._

“Please,” Skye pleaded, throat raw, voice breaking. Melinda May’s daughter didn’t beg but this wasn’t about her, it hadn’t been for months. She could take the cuts of his scalpel, the cold of the basement he kept her in, the blood loss, everything he could throw at her but her baby…Skye had never once pleaded for her own life, but she knew there was only so much her body could endure before the baby couldn’t keep fighting and she could feel that something was wrong.

“I’m disappointed in you, sweetheart; is this how your mother raised you?”

Skye wanted to spit in his face and scream that he’d made sure her mother couldn’t raise her, but she refused to waste the effort; all her energy went towards her little rabbit and all of her rage was being bottled up for the moment when she found a way to get free and she could unleash on him. She hadn’t known it was possible to hate someone so much, but she was looking forward to the day when she could rip him apart with her bare hands.

_I’m so sorry, Grant._

If she’d told him, if she’d made a deal for his life, if she’d done something to keep him around they’d be safe. And even if her deranged father had still found a way to get to her…Grant wouldn’t stop until he found them, and she’d have him breaking down the doors to murder the good doctor himself to look forward to. But she had long ago given up hope of anyone finding them. She’d failed their baby and she would never forgive herself.

She could only fantasize about the day he let his guard down and she found a way to break free and kill him herself.

She sobbed again as the horror of her situation hit her once more.

Pain seared through her middle and Skye howled in pain. “You have to stop…the baby,” she hissed through gritted teeth. She’d never felt pain like this in her life and she knew…

Skye cried out and fought against the restraints tying her to the exam table. “You’re hurting her,” she screamed, digging her nails into her own palm, pretending it was his face.

“Almost done.” He ‘tsked’, still cutting into her skin, ignoring her tantrum. “Then you can go back to your whining.” He dug his fingers into her flesh and retreated, holding a crystal he’d implanted there days before. “Some days I wonder if you really are Phil’s; you’re weak, like he is.” His eyes met hers and Skye could feel rage boiling in her blood, ready to spill out and kill him. But it couldn’t; he’d made sure of that with his henchman and restraints and drug cocktails. It was a miracle the little one was still with her. Her girl was a fighter, just like her mother.

“Phil Coulson is ten times the man you could ever dream of being,” Skye spat angrily.

Her father smirked and patted her cheek mockingly. “DNA doesn’t lie, sweetheart; remember to thank your whore of a mother for that when you see in her Hell, will you?” He kissed Skye’s forehead and returned to his microscope, chuckling to himself.

Skye bit her cheek, drawing blood, and forced down her pride. She had to do this, for the baby. “Daddy...please…there’s something wrong with your granddaughter.” Some days the loving daughter routine worked, depending on his mood. She hoped today was one of those days.

“The little bastard’s held out this long; it’ll be fine and if not…” He glanced back with a smile and shrugged. “You didn’t really think I was going to let you play house when this was over, did you?”

No, she didn’t. She’d hoped SHIELD would find them before it was too late.

“When my mother finds me, she’s going to spend what is left of your miserably short life torturing you,” Skye promised. Skye finally understood how much her mother loved her and if they were in any way alike, Melinda May wouldn’t stop until she hunted down and slowly killed her ex-husband. Skye just hoped she was alive to enjoy the show.

But there was that other part of her that knew if this ended without her baby being fine…

Skye wasn’t sure she could live in a world without her.

Tears flooded her eyes as her middle cramped with pain. She bit her lip, sobbing.

_If there is a God, the Cavalry will burst through those doors right this moment._

But there wasn’t.

“You’re an enigma, my sweet daughter; the mists, crystals, my formulas…none of it has any effect on you. There are so many mutations presents in your blood, so much potential. There’s a power in you waiting to break free and I’m going to unleash you on the world. It’ll be beautiful. And if you refuse to cooperate, I’ll no longer have any use for you.”

She didn’t have time for his lunatic monologues. Fresh blood soiled her gown and it wasn’t from his blade.

He smiled and stroked her hair. “It’s too bad, I was starting to think your little bastard will be worth keeping alive, just in case.”

What little life was left in Skye faded away but not before a fresh wave of frantic screams filled the small space that made up her own personal hell.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_September 2014_ **

_Sometimes, Skye wished Jemma would keep her scientific mouth shut and that she wasn’t so damn stubborn all the time._

“Yunno, it’s not my fault someone cleaned the freezer out of all of the ice cream,” Trip teased as Skye tapped her foot impatiently with a whine.

“Well it’s not my fault the serial killer’s demon spawn wants to eat everything,” she complained, dancing in place. It also wasn’t her fault her precious baby angel was sitting on her bladder again. She didn’t know why she had to come along for this shopping trip; just because she was eating for seven didn’t mean she had to go out for groceries.

There was no denying her kid was Grant Ward’s; she wanted nothing but protein-filled foods ninety-nine percent of the time. Of course, there was that small part of her that was clearly Skye’s and that part wanted to clean-out every store in Virginia of Americone Dream.

Trip rolled his eyes and reached out to pat Skye’s stomach. “Don’t listen to your mom, she’s still mad for that week she spent eating nothing but saltines because you were being difficult.”

“She’s punishing me for not having a father,” Skye muttered grumpily.

Stupid Grant Ward with his cheekbones and abs and extensive knowledge on how to get a woman to orgasm. She was paying the price for his inability to use a condom and he wasn’t even here to sexually satisfy her when the mood arose or to go on ice cream runs when the cravings started.

Stupid Hydra traitor.

She really hated him sometimes.

Scratch that, _most_ of the time. But then there were times when their tiny rabbit started moving around she remembered she did also love him… _sometimes_.

“Just go use the bathroom,” Trip ordered, glancing back down at the grocery list.

“No, it’s dirty,” Skye whined, knowing she was ten seconds away from peeing her pants. But thanks to Jemma, Skye had no interest in exposing her child to all the bacteria in a public restroom. “Besides, my mom told you not to let me out of your sight and if I go to the toilet then you’re coming with me.”

Trip sighed, rubbing the dark circles under his eyes. “Skye, you’re like a child.”

She shrugged with a smirk. “Yup! Now hurry up, there’s a steak with my name on it in that basket. Oh!” She clapped her hands in excitement. “I saw a Costco on our way here and they have hot dogs and clean bathrooms.”

“So, you’re going to eat a hot dog and then a steak? Plus, another pint of ice cream in the car?”

Skye reached for a ding dong from the cart with a smirk. “And this too.”

Thanks to baby girl Ward there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t eat.

Trip chuckled and wrapped an arm around her, kissing her temple. “All right, come on, tubby.”

“Hey,” Skye muttered in offense through a mouthful of chocolatey goodness.

“My niece is going to be a fat baby.”

“Her daddy was a fat baby,” Skye pouted.

“Oh, well, if she’s going to take after her father-”

They spent the next ten minutes bickering, stopping only when Skye’s bladder could no longer take it and she began bothering him to hurry to the bathroom.

“You know if you’d just used the grocery store bathroom, you pain in the ass-”

“How dare you speak to Melinda May’s only child that way? Do you have a death wish?”

He shooed her towards the restroom and she smirked, knowing even he was terrified of mommy dearest.

“Don’t forget the churro,” she called, and she could hear him groan from across the warehouse.

Skye smirked; she hadn’t felt this peaceful in ages. She’d have a baby in four months, she was safe, she had her mother and a great surrogate dad, and the team was finally doing well again. Things where finally looking up for Team SHIELD.

“And what is your problem today, little miss?” Skye muttered, staring down at her baby bump where the future director of SHIELD was happily torturing her poor mother with a frown. “That’s not very nice, baby girl. Mommy’s tough but you’ve got daddy’s brute strength and mommy’s insides don’t like that.” Well, they had, when they’d made her-but the kiddo didn’t need to know that small detail.

Skye was so focused on speaking to her little rabbit she let her guard down for a second and that was all it took for a hand to cover her mouth and two arms to restrain her. A familiar pair of eyes met hers and Skye’s insides twisted, bile filling her throat.

“Hello, sweetheart. When were you planning on telling me the good news?”

Skye had no idea how he’d found her or that he was even still alive, but she’d recognize him anywhere; the man her mother had married when she was young and stupid and angry with Phil. The same man who was partially responsible for her existence.

He knelt, giving Skye’s stomach a pat, a sinister sneer on his face. “Hello little one, I’m your grandfather and I need to borrow your mommy…”

Once the bomb went off Trip never stood a chance of stopping them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_July 2014_ **

_Skye curled up on her side, sobs spilling from her chest. No matter how much she tried to hate him or how much she knew him being gone was what was best for their baby it didn’t change the fact that she loved him and though it was stupid and selfish, she desperately wanted their child to have her father._

“I’m not willing to put my family at risk by seeing him.”

She was trying to play it tough and she could see from the look on her mother’s face she was failing but no one else seemed to have caught on. But as she placed a hand over the small bump forming under her sweater, compassion and regret rushed through her.

She wanted to see him, so badly. She wanted to tell him, to give him a reason to be a better man, but she couldn’t; the life growing inside of her mattered more. More than her. More than him. More than their love for each other. She had to play it tough because her child deserved nothing less. 

“I do hope he does get help. Just because I want him to pay for his what he did doesn’t mean I want him to suffer.”

Her hormones were in overdrive, so she slipped out of the room before anyone could stop her. And before she changed her mind.

On her way back to her room she stopped to look in on poor Fitz, for a reminder that she was doing the right thing. Because no matter how much she loved Grant Ward, he was a monster. A monster who could never know he was a father.

Skye ran a hand over her chest, as if it would somehow quell the ache that lay there.

She continued to watch him, finding the hums and beeps from the machines keeping him alive more depressing than usual. Skye moved a protective hand over her middle. “Don’t worry, everything will be alright,” she whispered, unsure if she was speaking to the baby or Fitz or maybe both.

Skye kissed his forehead before retreating to her room for nice, long cry.

Though she still hated Ward and couldn’t forgive, the knowledge that he was leaving, and she’d never see him again broke her heart. At least with him being imprisoned on the base she would always know where he was, that he was safe, and that he wasn’t out there somewhere, able to find them.

It finally hit her. She was never going to see him again. Their baby was never going to meet her father.

Skye pressed her fist to her mouth to stifle a sob as she curled up on her side.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, hugging herself around the middle. “I’m doing this to keep you safe.” And despite knowing she was doing the right thing it didn’t her from wondering if they weren’t both safer with him in their lives.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_June 2014_ **

_“Did my girls miss me?” Grant whispered into her ear, his arms wrapping around her from behind._

_Skye did her best not to giggle when he kissed her neck, is beard tickling her skin._

_“Of course not,” she teased but there was a traitor amongst them; the baby kicked under his hand as if to say, “I did daddy!”._

_“Liar,” he muttered, spinning her around so he could lift her into his arms and greet her properly._

_“So, what if we did?” Skye muttered onto his lips as he set her back onto the ground._

_He stared down at her with a grin. “I think you love me.”_

_“Yeah? Well, you loved me first.”_

_“You loved me last.”_

_“That doesn’t even make sense,” Skye muttered, letting him pull her in for another kiss._

_He shrugged, still grinning. “It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it, baby girl?” He placed his hands over the bump that kept their baby safe and she gave another kick. “See? She understands me.”_

_“Well, at least someone does.”_

_Grant kissed her before she could insult him some more._

That was the way it was supposed to be. They two of them stupidly in love, happy, about to be a family. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Hiding in the back of an SUV with a pregnancy test she’d smuggled from the supply closet, hand covering her mouth, so no one could hear her sobs.

_Murder._

_Lies._

_Betrayal._

That was her reality, her baby’s reality.

Her baby wasn’t going to have a father…

Skye was going to be sick.

She barely made it out of the car before falling to her knees and losing her lunch all over the floor of the garage.

There was no happy family in her baby’s future. There was only her and whatever life threw at them and Skye knew they were screwed.

She’d never hated Grant Ward more than she did in this moment. He’d done this to her. He’d lied to her and betrayed her and left her. And now she and their baby were alone.

And the worst part was she wanted nothing more than for him to be here, to see the look on his face when she told him, and to have that perfect life with him.

Nausea rushed through her again and this time it was the morning sickness that had her desecrating poor Mack’s workspace.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_May 2014_ **

_One of them should have realized that between ‘not here, your bunk’ and ‘I love you too’ the box of condoms had gone untouched but that was the thing about love; it left you high and giddy and stupid and even spies made mistakes when it took hold._

Skye couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so blissfully happy.

She buried her face in Grant’s neck to hide her smile, feeling slightly guilty that with everything going on she felt so at peace.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. She felt safe with him; nothing could get her with black Kevlar protecting her.

Grant trailed kisses along her shoulders, then neck, and finally her cheek before pressing their foreheads together.

“Hey?” Skye whispered, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck. “What’s the matter?” She knew him well enough to know when he was brooding. Was it her? Did he regret the sex? Telling her he loved her? Or was it about Garrett?

“Nothing,” he lied.

Skye frowned. “This is me, Grant. You can tell me anything.”

He brushed a thumb across her cheek with a smile. “Nothing’s wrong.

It’s just…” He linked their fingers together, moving their joined hands to his chest as he stared down at her with that same stupid, beautiful expression he’d been wearing when he told her he loved her. “You’re perfect. I’m not used to feeling like this,” he admitted with a smile. “I still can’t believe we did that.”

“Yeah? Want to do it again?”

He stared down at her with a smile and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Skye whispered, leaning up to kiss him.

When they finally came back up for air, he moved his hand into her hair and gazed down at her seriously.

“No matter what happens after this, I need you to remember how much I love you. And that I’ll never stop. You’re the most important person in this world to me. My heart belongs to you.”

Her cheeks were red, and she was close to tears, and she had to kiss him because she wasn’t sure she could speak without ruining the moment.

“You’re an idiot,” she muttered, holding his face in her hands while she kissed him some more.

“But you still love me?”

“Shut up and kiss me some more so I can show you how much.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Today (October 21, 2017)_ **

The moment their eyes met Skye forgot why she’d left the room in the first place.

Despite all the lies, the betrayal, the body count-the second she stared into those brown, puppy-dog eyes she forgot all about those and remembered he was still the man she loved. Maybe he wasn’t the same man she’d fallen for but somehow, despite everything, she still loved him. And she hated herself for it.

Before the awkward silence could consume them, he gave her a curt nod and closed his door, leaving her alone in the hallway. She stared at his door, knowing it would be so easy to walk over, knock, and…

A snore from the room behind her was a sober reminder why starting back where they left off was a bad idea. Skye held her hands against her chest, trying to compose herself. She stared at his door for another moment returning to her room. She closed the door quietly, not wanting to wake Alice, and leaned back, holding herself around the middle. Memories of those first few months after the truth came to light flooded through her and she found herself sliding down to the floor, sobbing quietly.

Skye buried her face in her knees and fought to keep it all bottled in: how much she loved him, how much she hated him, everything she’d been through because of her father, and everything she was still going through because of him.

How was she supposed to do this?

She’d failed their child. A child he would never know existed. She was failing Alice.

She couldn’t even keep herself or the people she loved safe.

Skye wiped at her eyes angrily. She couldn’t break down. Not now. Not ever. Alice deserved better. She deserved a mother who was strong and who wasn’t a failure.

She coul-No. She _wouldn’t_ fail. Not again.

She didn’t know how but this was a fight they were going to win.

Once she was sure she wouldn’t fall apart again, she moved to her desk and retrieved a worn copy of _Wuthering Heights_ (Ward’s, of course) from it. Hands shaking, she opened the book, being careful not to let the contents spill to the floor like the last time she’d done this.

She slipped two loose pieces of paper from the book and set it aside, using the light from Alice’s nightlight to examine the items in her hand: a bent, old polaroid from her time on the bus and a newer, more preserved picture. In one she stood next to the T-100 himself, making a face and for once he wasn’t glowering. The other was in black and white, portraying a little alien looking blob.

Skye traced her thumb over the little rabbit, her lip quivering as she fought off tears.

_He’s going to pay for what he did to you._

“Mama?”

Skye shoved the ultrasound back into the drawer and turned to find her pumpkin yawning sleepily as she sat up, blinking.

“Hey,” Skye whispered, climbing into bed with her. “It’s okay, go back to sleep,” she said, kissing her forehead.

“Why awake, mama?” She asked, yawning again as she wrapped her arms around Skye’s middle.

Skye smiled and held her closer, playing with her hair. “I was just getting ready for bed, baby.”

“Okay. Love you,” Alice murmured, already drifting off.

“I love you too,” Skye whispered, vowing to do what she’d failed to do before: keep this little one safe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_November 2014_ **

_Skye swatted at the air, mumbling nonsense. She’d woken from a touch on her face, but she knew it was just another dream._

_A cruel illusion of rescue._

_She’d been having these fantasies for weeks but this one felt much more real._

_“Skye,” the voice pleaded. “Baby girl, wake up.”_

_She could swear that was her mother’s voice and her mother’s hands and her mother’s-_

Skye shot up like she’d been hit with a jolt of electricity. She recognized that lavender perfume. She reached out and clutched her mother’s arm desperately, looking around the room wildly. Her entire body shook, the drugs still coursing through her veins.

“Mom?” Skye cried, voice shaking, not believing this was real.

Her mother stared down at her, nodding with a tearful smile. “It’s me, baby girl.”

Skye let her pull her into her arms, too weak to throw her arms around her. Skye sobbed in relief as Melinda kissed the top of her head. She pulled the soiled sheets back to help Skye from the bed. “Hurry, baby, there’s a medic-” Melinda froze, eyes staring down at Skye for what seemed like a lifetime before she lifted her head slowly to meet Skye’s gaze. “The baby…”

Her entire body shook, and Melinda had to catch Skye before she fell from the bed, sobbing.

Melinda held her close, stroking her hair. “I’m here, angel. I’ve got you.”

“She was born too early and she was so tiny…” she sobbed. “She never stood a chance,” she whispered angrily.

Melinda kissed Skye’s forehead and helped her to her feet. “We need to hurry, he started a fire when we got here. The entire building might go.”

Adrenaline filled her body as familiar cries filled the air.

“Where is she?” She cried, rushing out of the room.

“Skye!” Her mother called, running after her.

“Can you hear her?” She called, stopping in the middle of the hallway to listen.

“Skye,” Melinda said, taking hold of her. “There’s no one here.”

“No! The baby! She needs me.”

Melinda moved a hand to her cheek. “She’s gone. You have to let her go.”

Skye shook her head, tears spilling from her eyes. “I’m not crazy,” she whispered, knowing she wasn’t imagining this. “She’s crying. She needs me.”

“You just told me yourself she’s gone…”

“I’m not crazy!” Skye yelled, shoving her away. She moved to the room at the end of the hallway, where the cries grew louder.

“There! How can you not hear it?”

Hunter appeared and scooped Skye up, throwing her over his shoulder. “Sorry love, but this place is about to be ash.”

“Put me down!” Skye screeched, fighting him. Once she was free she made another run for it, kicking doors open in her pursuit.

“Bloody hell! Does she have a death wish?”

Skye rounded on him angrily. “I’m not the only one here,” she spat, knowing there was at least one other prisoner still alive.

“Fine, I’ll go. Stay put,” he ordered, as if Skye would listen.

“You need to find the baby,” she ordered.

“Love, I got a good look at you and I’m sorry to say that ship has sailed.”

“No,” Skye hissed, grabbing him by the arm. “You need to listen; there’s a baby somewhere in this building. I started hearing her cries a few weeks ago.” She closed her eyes as nausea rolled through her body. “You need to find her.”

“Skye-”

The trio froze when the cries grew loud enough that Hunter and Melinda heard them too.

“Lose something?” Trip appeared in the stairwell carrying a large bundle in his arms.

Skye fell to the ground, her body ready to give out. She laughed and leaned back against the wall. “I told you I’m not crazy.”

“Bloody hell,” Hunter muttered as a little fist waved through the air and took his finger. The moment she did so his face melted into a smile. “Well dammit. You’re a cute little thing, aren’t you?”

“She’s alive,” Skye sobbed in relief, ready to go home.


	8. (Grant) I Don't Even Know Where to Start

To say his night was rough was a gross understatement.

Grant spent it tossing and turning, struggling to shut his brain off. Eventually he gave up on falling asleep and instead stared up at the ceiling, thinking about Skye.

Skye’s smile.

Skye’s hair.

Skye’s kid.

Skye and her kid asleep in the room just a few feet from his.

Just the knowledge that she was there was enough to send him into a mild panic but throw her daughter into the mix? Grant broke into a sweat, complete with hives, giving a whole new meaning to the term ‘meltdown’. He was forced to strip to his boxers and kick off his covers while breathing deeply to keep a full-blown attack from hitting.

She was here, and he still loved her. There was a kid that wasn’t his and still he wanted nothing more than to be her dad. Until Skye had come along and given him hope for a future he’d never considered having a family. It just wasn’t in the cards for him and now…Well, they could never have that future because of what he’d done. At least, he couldn’t; he would just get to witness her having it without him.

On more than one occasion he came close to throwing up the scotch Hunter had had convinced him to drink.

Eventually, he reached a point where his brain could no longer fight his body’s need for sleep, but before he could fully drift off, fucking Hunter filled the room with the loudest snoring Grant had ever heard in his entire life; and he’d thought sharing a wall with Jemma on the bus had been bad. Was this some English thing? Snore loudly enough to drown out an entire sleuth of hibernating bears?

How did poor Fitz and Trip handle it?

When it became clear holding his pillow tightly over his head wouldn’t work Grant did the only thing his exhaustion-addled mind could think of: he threw his shoe at Hunter.

Five seconds later it came flying back at Grant, nearly hitting him in the head.

“Asshole,” Grant muttered, throwing something else his way and using his pillow to block Hunter’s return assault.

At least Hunter was good for something; as dawn broke Grant forgot all about obsessing over Skye. Instead he began plotting ways to get Hunter back for depriving him of much needed rest. Was saran-wrap on the toilet seat still a thing?

“Time for breakfast, mate!” Hunter announced cheerfully, just as Grant was close to finally drifting off. He groaned and hid his head under his pillow, loudly cursing Hunter who simply chuckled and slipped out of their room, but not before dumping Grant’s bag on his bed as if to say, ‘hurry up’.

His shoe hit the door, his reflexes slowed by his lack of sleep.

Grant groaned, deciding that trying to get even five minutes of rest was futile and dragged himself out of bed. The shower helped, but he still felt like a zombie as he trudged down the hallway and to the dining room, eyes half-open, sensitive even to the dim lights of the base.

Once in the kitchen he went straight for the coffee pot, stifling a yawn as he poured a mug. The heat felt good between his palms and the smell alone bettered his mood. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had coffee and was that bacon? His stomach growled at the smell. For the first time since his prison break it hit him that his diet would no longer consist of crappy prison food.

If he opened his eyes to find Coulson, he’d kiss him right there in front of everyone as a ‘thank you’ for giving him his life back.

Instead he was met with a glaring May and he shrunk back against the counter, terrified.

Why had he stupidly permanently gotten on her bad side?

“Already making yourself at home there, mate,” Hunter asked, clapping him on the shoulder and holding out a plate.

Grant took it and thanked him, avoiding May’s death stare as he moved to the table. He hadn’t even realized it, but this _did_ feel like home. Maybe it was because Skye was in the room or because the team had never stopped being his family or maybe because deep down he was nothing but an agent who felt comfortable living on a base. Regardless of why, this _was_ home.

He took a seat next to Hunter and did his best not to stare but he couldn’t help it; Skye’s smile was enough to light up any room and right now it was so bright it warmed even the darkest parts of his heart. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her smile and seeing her happy made him happy.

Grant hid a smile by sipping more of his coffee, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide his amusement.

“Here, mama,” Alice giggled, shoving a piece of pancake into Skye’s mouth, but missing. Skye smiled, and wiped her face, reaching over to feed the toddler. “No, I can do it!” And to prove it Alice began shoveling pancake into her mouth until nearly the entire thing was shoved in there. Her little eyes twinkled with amusement and Skye hid her smile behind her hands, shaking her head.

As she continued to stuff her adorable chipmunk cheeks with carbs, he found himself taking in her appearance. He couldn’t place it, but there was something familiar about her.

Maybe it was because she was an exact replica of Skye, with the exception of her eyes. While they were brown, they were a deeper shade thank Skye’s.

That was it, he realized. Her eyes reminded him of someone. But who?

“Yummy, mama,” she mumbled adorably, spitting chunks out as she spoke.

Grant chuckled.

The more time he spent around this little chipmunk, the more he was a goner.

How was it possible to love someone this much when you’d just met?

And when it wasn’t even your child?

Shit, if she was his he’d be totally fucked.

Skye did her best not to laugh as May took Alice’s fork.

“Linn,” May scolded, also fighting a smile. “Finish what’s in your mouth first.”

Alice scrunched up her nose in annoyance but reached both hands for her glass of milk, washing down what was in her mouth and wiping it with her napkin like a proper lady. “More, pwease, mama.”

“Please, Alice,” Jemma corrected, picking at a piece of bacon between her fingers.

“PAWEASE!” Alice repeated, exasperated.

Jemma made a face and opened her mouth but before she could speak Skye cut her off.

“She’s three, Jemma, leave her alone.”

Alice ignored them and reached for the pancakes on her own. Grant, not wanting to see her hurt herself, reached over and transferred another pancake to her plate. Her little eyes lit up with a smile as she dug in, no syrup needed. He watched her with a goofy smile, thoroughly amused by how big her appetite was.

She gazed up at him, stopping his breath, and gave him a huge, toothy smile; pancake falling from her mouth as she did so.

Grant hid a chuckle and she smiled again before returning her attention to her breakfast, happily humming and kicking her feet in the process. He couldn’t believe this was the same child he’d seen the night before, sobbing about monsters.

Baby girl was a fighter, just like her mom.

He returned his attentions to Skye and Jemma who were still bickering.

“All I’m saying is she’s advanced for her age, but she won’t continue to be if you allow her to form bad habits, Skye.”

Skye rolled her eyes and without looking, reached over to wipe the baby’s mouth. “She’s a toddler, Jemma. She’s developing just fine. And like you said, she’s advanced. What other kid her age can carry on conversations the way she can?”

“That’s my point! Do you really want her to become average?”

“I want her to be a kid! Not to worry about being a ‘bloody child genius’,” Skye mocked in Jemma’s accent, earning her a huff of indignation from their small, English friend.

“Bad word, mama!”

Skye leaned over and kissed the tip of Alice’s nose. “Sorry, pumpkin. Speaking of, do you like your pancakes?”

Alice nodded eagerly, and Grant glanced down at his plate, a smile forming on his lips when he realized they were indeed pumpkin pancakes. His favorite.

“Pumpkin for my pumpkin,” Skye teased, tickling her side.

Alice giggled and tried to shove more into Skye’s mouth. “You eat now, mama.”

“If you insist.”

“Isn’t she the most precious being in this world?” Hunter whispered, watching her with a fond smile.

Grant nodded and took a bite of his breakfast, keeping his thoughts to himself. It was so clear from the look on Hunter’s face that he wanted his own children badly.

Skye glanced up and he dropped his fork in surprise. He looked away, not wanting to piss her off. The lashing she’d given him last night had been enough for the week.

Before he could fall into a self-made pit of despair, he caught Alice staring at him with a smile.

“Mista Gwant, guess what?”

An awkward silence filled the air as he stammered out a weak ‘yes’ in response.

“I am _this_ many tomorrows!” She announced proudly, holding up three fingers.

Skye shot him an annoyed glare and he found he was both fearful and aroused.

Why did she still have such a powerful effect on him?

“That’s great, kiddo,” he responded dumbly, looking away from her mom before the tension between them erupted.

“Morning, kids, daddy’s here,” Coulson announced.

Skye rolled her eyes as he scooped Alice up and assaulted her with kissed. She giggled loudly, hugging him tightly with a squeal. Coulson ruffled her curls with a proud smile as he set her into her mom’s lap. “How is the birthday girl?”

“Her birthday is tomorrow,” Skye reminded.

“It’s her birthday week!”

“Yeah, mama! Birthday week!” She cries, banging her fork on the table. “I want more pancake!”

“Well, someone is hungry this morning,” Coulson said as he glanced down at the mess she’d already made.

“Well, we had a long night, grandpa,” Skye whispered, rubbing Alice’s back gently. When Alice frowned, remembering her nightmares, Skye kissed her temple and reached for another pancake.

“How about one more, angel? Mama and Auntie Jemma are going to make your birthday cupcakes later and you want room to eat some early, don’t you?”

And just like that, Alice was back to smiling.

He watched her, unable to keep from smiling himself, wishing he had half of this little girl’s strength.

Grant felt eyes on him and glanced over to find Coulson watching him.

“Sorry,” he muttered, glancing down at his plate.

“For what? It’s impossible not to feel joy with this angel around.”

Alice began humming again and leaned into Coulson with a big smile.

“Did you even sleep last night, man?” Trip asked as he took the open seat next to Grant.

Grant glanced over at Hunter with a glare and shook his head. “No, an ode to hibernating bears was playing in our room without my consent,” he answered bitterly.

Hunter rolled his eyes and loaded his plate up again. “Invest in some earplugs, mate.”

Trip shook his head, stealing a piece of bacon from Hunter’s plate. “Next time he snores like that you just-”

“Roll him onto his side,” a female voice interrupted, mingling with Trip’s.

Hunter froze and the tension in the room got worse. Skye glanced up with a grimace, Jemma became very interested in buttering her toast, and Coulson rubbed the bridge of his nose with a frown while May rolled her eyes. Alice, on the other hand, didn’t seem to know or care that things had just become increasingly awkward because she began to beam.

“Auntie Bobbi!” She cried, jumping down, and rushing over to hug her. Bobbi scooped Alice into her arms and hugged her, sparing Hunter a short glare, before carrying Alice back to her mother, listening intently as the toddler babbled on about her birthday cake made of cupcakes.

“Oy! What is she doing here?” Hunter cried out in annoyance. “Doesn’t she have other people’s lives to ruin on that bloody boat?” Grabbing his coffee mug, Trip gave Hunter a death glare, and stood, clearly pissed off with his not-boyfriend. Hunter either ignored him or didn’t notice him because his attentions were solely on Bobbi.

Bobbi, on the other hand, had completely forgotten he was in the room. “That sounds delicious, baby girl. I’m going to eat twelve,” she teased as she kissed her cheek and set her down on Skye’s lap.

“Did you bring me a present?”

Bobbi chuckled and gave one of her curls a twirl. “Yes, but you can’t open it until your party tomorrow.”

Alice huffed loudly, and Bobbi shook her head before leaning over to kiss the top of Jemma’s head, then Skye’s, before hugging both May and Coulson. She gave Grant a quick, passing glance before heading for Trip who seemed to only be upset with Hunter judging by the smile he and Bobbi shared.

Relationships were weird.

Grant returned his attention to Skye and Alice, because of course he was still drawn to Skye like a damn moth to a flame. Skye was now tickling Alice’s sides playfully and Alice shoved her chubby fists into her mouth in a fit of giggles. Skye hugged her against her chest and kissed her cheek. “Mama loves you, pumpkin. Want to know how much?” Alice nodded eagerly, and Skye pressed their foreheads together. Grant wasn’t sure how that was a way to show you loved someone but a few moments later Alice began giggling.

“Well, mama, I love you THIS many,” she announced loudly, holding her little arms out as far as she could.

Skye gasped in mock shock and put both hands on her cheeks in surprise. “Oh, my goodness! You love me THAT much?”

Alice nodded seriously, and Skye smiled, reaching over to pull her into a tight hug. Alice squirmed around, giggling in protest because she was ticklish, but hugged Skye back, wrapping both arms around her neck and kissing her cheek sloppily.

He looked away quickly, finding this to be too much. That should be his life. His little girl. He should have been right there with them, but he wasn’t, and he had no one to blame but himself.

Grant felt a little hand tugging on his shirt and glanced down to find the little one had materialized at his side. She stared up at him shyly, kicking her little feet, and clutching the monkey Trip had given her the night before. He looked up to find Skye watching him, unable to discern her expression, but she seemed to have approved this, so he returned his focus to her mini-me.

“Well, hello there.”

Alice smiled and glanced back at her mom who gave her a nod as if to say, ‘go on’.

“Uh, Mista Grant? Ava and I want you to pwease come to my birthday party,” she said, holding Ava up with an unsure smile.

He was taken aback, not knowing why she’d want him there and knowing he had to refuse; Skye may have allowed this but there was no way she wanted him anywhere near that party.

Grant directed his attention to the monkey, sure it would hurt less when he spoke if he wasn’t looking right at her. “Well, Ava, Alice, as much as I appreciate the invitation I’m afraid I can’t.” Alice’s big eyes began to well up with tears, so he quickly scrambled to give her a reason, so she wouldn’t’ cry. “I don’t have a present for you, sweetheart; you can’t go to a birthday party without a present, it isn’t polite.”

Alice smiled, swaying back and forth on her heels happily. She glanced over to her mom before jumping up and hugging Grant. It was quick, no more than a second, but it was enough to stop his heart; how was one tiny human this precious? Why did she remind him so much of Skye? Why did he love her so much already?

She rocked back on her heels and hugged her monkey close, beaming up at him. “It’s okay, daddy, you can be my present,” she said innocently, not knowing that her words would put him on the brink of a heart-attack and her mother on the edge of a stroke if the vein in her forehead was any indication.

Alice skipped off, her monkey trailing on the floor behind her. He shared a look with Skye, at a loss for words. She looked ready to be sick or maybe she was about to kill him but instead of doing either she went after the little one without a word.

He pushed away from the table, his appetite gone.

“She’s a baby, she’s just confused,” Jemma began, and he nodded, knowing that but still…the painful reminder that he wasn’t her dad struck him deep.

“Yeah, man, at one point she thought I was her dad and then Hunter, even Fitz. After a few days she’ll get over it,” Trip said, trying to comfort him but it made it worse; Grant didn’t want it to go away and that was the problem.

Skye was the love of his life and he wanted to be with her and to have a family and being constantly reminded that they would never be together, and he’d never be that little girl’s dad, was like having a knife permanently in his chest, continuing to dig deeper and deeper, trying to find bone.

And it was only day one. He was going to develop a drinking problem at this rate.

“I have to go,” he mumbled, rushing for the door. He was in such a hurry to get the hell out of there he didn’t even notice Fitz until they nearly collided. Grant stopped himself mid-step and froze in horror. Fitz looked…Well, not good, honestly. But he was still Fitz. His friend. His brother. His Fitz.

He knew he had no right to, but he still loved Fitz. That affection would never go away. And it was clear by the look on Fitz’s face that any love Fitz had once held for him was dead and long-ago buried.

“Fitz, I,” Grant began to stammer but Fitz wasn’t ready for it.

“I’m not hungry, Jemma,” Fitz whispered, turning quickly, and shoving the doors open, storming away towards the staircase.

Grant watched him go in despair. He knew he had to make things right, but he didn’t have a damned clue how.

How exactly did one make-up for nearly killing a friend and ruining their life?

Grant was thankful it was nearly time for his therapy session. He was already done with today and somehow, he knew it would only get worse.


	9. (Skye) I Don't Even Know Where to Start

Alice huffed in annoyance as Skye combed a knot out of her hair. Skye glanced down at her, eyebrow raised, but said nothing. Her little monster was a bundle of impatience this morning and while Skye wanted to know why she also knew when to pick her battles. She hadn’t slept much last night; too busy trying to keep from crying and knocking down Ward’s door. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to slap him or kiss him or both, but she knew doing any of the above was a bad idea.

“There we go, hair down and messy; just like you like it,” Skye announced, wishing Alice would let her braid it at least, to keep it back during meals. The kid was messy, and food always wound up in her thick curls.

Alice grinned and jumped to the floor, grabbing her new stuffed monkey, and tucking her dog and rabbit in for ‘a nap’. She grabbed Skye’s hand and tugged her towards the door, full of energy. “Come, mama! Hurry!”

Skye chuckled and scooped up her kid, setting her back down on the bed. “Hold up, just because you’re impatient doesn’t mean mama has to go to work without her shoes,” she teased, kissing her nose before heading to the closet. Alice sighed loudly and dramatically and threw herself back onto the mattress, kicking her little legs in the air to entertain herself.

She glanced over to watch her with a smile while she threw on her shoes, pulled her hair back, and took a quick look in the mirror. She looked like crap but maybe that was a good thing: Ward had already been giving her heart-eyes, she needed to be less attractive to keep him away.

Not that Skye ever got what she wanted.

“Finally,” her exasperated toddler said, sitting up. Skye chuckled and picked her up, happy when she didn’t demand to walk herself to breakfast. Skye appreciated an independent child but sometimes she wanted to be mama bear and snuggle her and kill anyone who looked at her the wrong way.  You know, normal mom stuff.

“Why are you in such a hurry this morning? Usually I can’t get you out of bed, miss.” Well, that used to be true, but the older she got the earlier she woke and the earlier she woke the more mornings Skye was woken to a toddler throwing herself at her and jumping around for her to wake up and make her pancakes.

Skye was sick of pancakes. When would she move on to a new favorite food? Like waffles. Skye _loved_ waffles. At least she used to, before.

Alice beamed and swung her monkey by his arms happily. “Because, I want to see daddy.”

Skye halted in her tracks, her heart racing, and nausea creeping up. Skye closed the door and set Alice down on her desk, moving to her knees so she could look her in the eyes. “Alice, we’ve talked about this; you don’t have a daddy.” Alice’s lower lip quivered, and Skye resisted the urge to hug her. She didn’t want to hurt her but letting her hope for a family and a father she’d never have would hurt her more in the end. Skye brushed her cheeks with a sad smile. “I’m sorry, baby. But you have me. Isn’t that enough?”

She knew she wasn’t, but she was trying. God knew how hard she was trying.

“But, mama,” Alice reached back and held out the polaroid of Skye and Grant in confusion, fat tears welling up in her eyes. “Daddy?”

Skye took the picture, doing her best not to cry. She couldn’t do this, not now. “Baby, this was in mommy’s desk. What were you doing in there?”

“I sorry, mama. No be mad,” she whimpered.

Skye hugged her to her chest and ran her fingers through her hair to calm her.

“It’s okay, baby,” Skye whispered, picking her up and hugging her tighter.

_This_ was why she didn’t want him here; she knew it would confuse her. No matter how far down Skye tried to shove her feelings for him when your kid read minds it was impossible to hide it. In Alice’s mind if two people loved each other they should be a mommy and daddy; she was too young to understand that wasn’t how life worked.

Skye sat down and placed Alice in her lap. She reached down, wiped her tears, and tussled a few of her drying curls before meeting her eyes. “I know it’s confusing, baby girl, but Agent Ward is here to work. That’s it. We’re not friends anymore. I know you want a daddy and I’m sorry I can’t give one to you but at least you have me and grandma and grandpa; that’s a lot more than your mama ever had.” Skye understood her daughter’s wants all too well. It was hard to deny her something she herself had wanted so badly but what choice did she have? This was the situation they were in and maybe she didn’t get it right one-hundred percent of the time, but Alice was her number one priority.

“His name is Gwant,” Alice whispered stubbornly, clutching her monkey.

Skye sighed with a nod and did her best not to roll her eyes. There was no denying this was her child.

“Fine, we can call him Grant, but remember mommy doesn’t want you spending too much time with him.”

Alice nodded with a pout. “Because he makes mama sad?”

_More like because he broke my heart, knocked me up, left me to deal with it on my own, broke Fitz, and is a murderer._

“Sure, we’ll go with that,” Skye muttered, squeezing Alice’s hand.

“Plus, I don’t want you to have more bad dreams. When Grant was little his family wasn’t nice, like your bad grandpa. Mama doesn’t want you to see that, okay?” She knew it was a lot to expect a kid to understand she was doing this to keep her safe, but Skye didn’t know what she’d do if Alice suffered even more trauma. Skye had failed her enough for ten lifetimes.

“Okay mama,” she whispered sadly. “But can daddy come to my party? He’s sad too, mama. Maybe party make him happy?”

Skye hugged her again, fighting off tears. Her kid had the biggest heart. It was no wonder everyone fell in love with her.

And she had a point. Skye wasn’t sure she could ever forgive him and her feelings for him were a mess, but he’d been through hell too.

Besides, how we she going to tell her kid ‘no’?

Skye kissed the top of her head before helping her to feet.

“It’s your birthday and you can invite anyone you want. But remember, no touching or being too close to him for too long, baby. Mama and Auntie Jemma still don’t know how your powers work and we just want you safe.” And sometimes her little flashes were transferable and despite how she felt about him, he didn’t need to relive anything from his childhood. Skye had witnessed first-hand how much it affected him and she really did want him to get better and to _be_ better and to move on with his life.

But she would never put that pressure on her child.

“Let’s go!” Alice eagerly pulled Skye out of the room, running towards the kitchen.

Skye followed her with a smile, not really in the mood for food. Not that it mattered. Her kid would eat enough for the two of them.

_“My niece is going to be a fat baby.”_

_“Her daddy was a fat baby.”_

“MAMA!”

Skye snapped out of the memory and realized she’d stopped walking. She absently rubbed at the scar above her pelvis as she continued walking, a visible reminder of the day her appetite for food and life had left her, and she wondered if they’d ever return.

Breakfast was its normal affair of Alice making a mess, her grandmother cooing over her, and Skye pretending to be interested in her piece of toast. At least, it was until _he_ walked in. Maybe ‘walk’ wasn’t the right word. Skye had seen zombie movies where the walking dead had more life than he did. She gave him a quick once-over, not wanting to be caught staring, and hid a frown behind her teacup.

His features were hidden by the beard still on his face, but Skye could see how thin and shallow his cheeks were. And his face wasn’t the only place he’d lost weight. He was leaner but not in a good way. She could see he’d attempted to stay as fit as he could while locked up in solitary confinement, but his muscle mass was lacking, his ribs were visible, and he looked _weak_.

Skye knew he’d have to go back into training hard to make-up for the three and half years he’d been incarcerated but she didn’t think it would be this bad. He was going to have to train long and hard and pile on the carbs and proteins if he was going to return to the strong soldier she’d fallen for.

She stared down at the baby, needing something to smile about. He was going to suffer trying to build the strength he’d need to keep them safe and knowing he’d do so without complaint because it was for her nearly left Skye in tears.

Couldn’t she go back to two days ago, before she’d seen him, when she could ignore the fact that she still loved him?

Hating him was so much easier.

And it was damn hard to keep it up with him in her presence and with her dad and two of her best friends rooting for him.

_Traitors._

Skye did her best to ignore him, but it was impossible to when she could feel how much he loved her radiating off him like a damn space heater. She’d never felt anyone’s emotions this strongly before, not even Melinda’s, but her powers were operating in full-force today. She spared him a few glances, his aura glowing with a strong, pink glow. And each time she caught him smiling it wasn’t at her. Like everyone else who met her, he was completely enamored with the little girl in Skye’s lap.

She pressed a kiss to the top of Alice’s head, trying to keep her own emotions in check. She knew he still loved her, it was why he was here, because he’d do anything for her. What she hadn’t expected was how much he’d love Alice, and not this soon.

The moment he’d laid eyes on Alice, Skye realized that she had a problem. Not only had he taken one look at her little girl and fallen completely head-over-heels for her but the little one had imprinted on him.

And Alice was smart. _Too_ smart. Smart enough to raise Skye’s blood pressure.

She knew Ward loved them both and she’d made up her mind: she wanted a daddy and she was going to get one whether Skye liked it or not.

And Skye couldn’t fault Ward for the feelings he was sending their way. They had loved each other and if things had been different they would all be a family. But he’d betrayed her, and her life was a mess. He couldn’t be in their life, no matter how much he or Alice wanted him to be or. Or even how much Skye wanted the man she’d fallen for back.

Grant Ward was a danger to everyone who loved him. Skye couldn’t trust that he’d changed enough to be back in her life and even if she did she couldn’t let her baby girl be a weapon his enemies could use against him. She’d already been used by her father; she didn’t need even more pain in her life.

Skye’s resolve was firm, she was not going to let his broody, dreamy eyes distract her or the very clear bond between him and Alice ruin things. But she’d be lying if seeing him interact with her baby girl and seeing the way she lit up when she looked at him didn’t stir something in her.

Her fingers fluttered over her middle for a moment and guilt gnawed away at her.

Maybe Grant wasn’t the one Alice needed protection from.

Skye stopped breathing when Alice spoke to him. The love she could feel from him was too much, especially when combined with Alice’s happiness.

A sick knot of fear settled in her chest.

Her abilities had never been this hard to fight off.

What was it about Ward that rendered her defenses useless?

She glanced back up at him and began to wonder if maybe this had nothing to do with her muddled up feelings for him.

“Uncle Lance’s head gon’ ‘splode!” Alice whispered, interrupting her thoughts. She stared at her uncle, doing her best not to giggle.

Skye had to admit he did look like an idiot, peacocking in front of Bobbi. Poor Trip, Hunter was so clearly still in love with Bobbi. It was a bit pathetic to be honest.

She kissed the top of Alice’s head and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “It’s because he loves Auntie Bobbi but he’s too dumb to tell her.”

Alice pressed her fists to her mouth and giggled. “Do you love me, mama?”

Skye gasped in mock horror. “Of course, mama loves you, pumpkin! Want to know how much?” Alice nodded happily, and Skye pressed her forehead to hers, channeling every ounce of love she had for her kiddo, along with memories to prove how much into her mind. She showed her first time she held her, when she was six weeks old, when she embraced how much she loved this little person. Alice giggled, and Skye kissed her nose.

She loved this kid more than anything in this world. She’d die for her. And she almost had.

“Mama,” Alice whispered, leaning in conspiratorially. “Can I ask Mista Gwant to my party now?” Skye didn’t have the heart to go back on her word, so she nodded, earning her a toothy grin.

She watched in despair as Alice skipped over to him happily, her poor monkey dragging along the floor behind her.

Skye kept her eyes on Alice, knowing looking at him would be a bad idea. It was bad enough she could feel everything he was feeling, she didn’t need to look at his stupid face too.

She appreciated his attempt to back out, but the poor bastard had no idea how Alice could play you: a few tears, a pout, and a small whine were all it took for her to wrap you completely around her finger. She’d done it to Hunter at five weeks old and she hadn’t stopped since.

And then her kid said the one thing that would send Skye for the bottom of a bottle later: she called him ‘daddy’. To his face. In front of everyone.

Her heart raced, her palms went moist, and she was sure she was going to vomit. She’d been afraid of this; it was why she’d told Coulson they should send her away with Fitz, to keep them both away from him. This could not be happening, not this soon. She’d expected it down the line. How could she not? But in less than twenty-four hours?

Skye rushed off after Alice, who knew better than to wander around the base alone. She caught up with her in the common room, where a few of her toys were still scattered about, yesterday being far too eventful of a day to worry about putting things away.

“Alice Linn, you know you’re not supposed to run off on your own!”

“I’m not alone, mama; I’m with you,” she answered cheerfully, sitting down in front of a coloring book.

Skye pinched the bridge of her nose, cursing her luck. If this was how she was at three how bad would it be when she was sixteen? If Skye ever got her hands on her father she was going to choke the life out of him with her bare hands. He’d robbed Skye of a happy childhood and now he’d robbed Alice of a normal one.

Kids needed time to grow up slowly and be kids, not be forced to live on their own at fifteen or be in people’s minds, developing more quickly than their brains could handle.

Skye took a seat across from Alice and reached for her. Alice looked up at her guiltily, knowing she’d done something wrong. “I’m sorry, mama. I forgot.”

Skye sighed and moved to her knees. “Alice, this is to keep you safe. Everything I do is to keep you safe. You know that,” Skye whispered, close to tears.

She was trying to keep it together, like she had been for years, but Skye was slowly breaking.

Alice arranged her crayons on the table, avoiding Skye’s gaze, and shrugged once they were all lined up. “I know, but daddy loves us,” she whispered sadly.

Skye sighed. “I know he does, angel, but that doesn’t change anything.”

“And you still love daddy.”

Fighting back tears, she pulled Alice into her lap.

“I will always love him, baby girl. But you need to understand, I love you more. You are the most important thing in this world to me. And I know you’re too little to understand why I don’t want Grant to be your daddy, but you need to trust mommy when she says it’s not a good idea.

I’m trying so hard to keep you safe and happy and I know it doesn’t always seem like it but I’m going to my best.”

Alice ran her sleeve under her nose with a sniffle. “But how come you no can keep me safe together like other mommies and daddies?”

Skye turned her head, so Alice wouldn’t see the tear that spilled down her cheek. “Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be together,” she whispered. “And not all families have a mommy and a daddy, sweetie. And that’s okay. You have a big family filled with people who love you, isn’t that enough?”

“Yes, but I want daddy,” she whispered, close to tears.

Skye kissed her temple and hugged her tighter. “Me too, baby. Me too.”


	10. (Skyeward) I Don't Even Know Where to Start

_“But I want daddy.”_

_“Me too, baby. Me too.”_

Grant hadn’t meant to eavesdrop.

During his miserable trek to his therapy session he realized he had no clue where he was going so he’d turned around and returned to common area hoping to find someone to point him in the right direction.

When he walked in to find Skye he did a one-eighty, not wanting to intrude on her mom time but then she said the one thing that stopped him in his tracks.

_“I will always love him.”_

His heart began to race, and he forgot how to breathe.

Sure, he’d hoped she still loved him but to hear it from her lips?

The fantasy that she loved him had kept him going during his darkest days, but he hadn’t really thought she did. And after all this time?

_“I know you’re too little to understand why I don’t want Grant to be your daddy, but you need to trust mommy when she says it’s not a good idea.”_

She wasn’t wrong.

His own father had been the worst and his substitute father hadn’t been much better. He had no idea how to raise a kid or to be a good dad. All he knew was what not to do and he wasn’t sure that made him father material.

And though he loved them both he still had a lot of work to do in therapy before he could trust he was well enough not to slip and try to kill himself again.

He couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing them further or even worse, hurting them because he had a moment of weakness.

Besides, they both deserved better.

All he did was hurt the people who loved him, and he’d hurt Skye enough for a lifetime.

He’d do everything in his power to protect them. It was the least he could do. And maybe, if he succeeded, Alice would become the one person in this life that he didn’t disappoint.

Grant vowed to do whatever he could to keep them both safe, including keeping his distance; not that it could ever stop him from loving them both.

He turned to leave but Skye caught sight of him and their eyes met for a long moment. He stared back at her in silence, unable to look away. And not just because she was the most beautiful person in this world but because for the first time since she’d waltzed back into his life she didn’t look ready to hit him.

“Ladies, it’s time for someone’s appointment with Doctor Jemma,” Trip announced as he shoved past Grant and scooped Alice into his arms.

“No want,” Alice cried, crossing her arms defiantly.

“Too bad, little miss,” he teased, kissing her temple. “Besides, I think your mom and Agent Ward need a minute alone.”

His palms began to sweat but Trip was right. He still needed to make the rounds in his apology tour but hers was the one that mattered most. He’d hurt her the most and she was the most important person in the world to him. He owed her a million apologies and explanations.

“Okay,” Alice sing-songed with a smile. “Bye mama! Bye Mister Gwant!” She gave him a wink as Trip carried her past him.

He smiled, in awe of this little girl. Were all children this amazing or was she just special?

Skye stood nervously, wiping her hands on her jeans and avoiding his gaze.

He stepped into the room but made no moves to get closer to her, wanting her to be comfortable.

They stared at each other for the longest minute of his life.

“This shouldn’t be so awkward,” Skye whispered, breaking the silence.

Grant shrugged, scratching the back of his head to have something to do. “That’s my fault.”

“It is,” she said, taking a step forward. “But maybe I don’t help in that department.”

Grant didn’t know what to say so he kept his mouth shut, waiting for her to speak.

Skye toyed with the back of the sofa and took another step forward and then another, until they were standing close enough for him to make out the dark circles under her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Skye whispered, taking him by surprise.

“If anyone needs to apologize, Skye, it isn’t you. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

She gave him a half-smile and his heart clenched in pain.

“I’m sorry about earlier. She’s seen pictures of us together and she’s confused. And I know when you first saw her you thought…” Skye glanced down, unable to look at him as she spoke. “I know what you thought,” she whispered before looking up to meet his eyes. “It must have been painful and no matter what happened between us in the past, I would never intentionally hurt you.”

Once again instinct took over. Tears filled her eyes and before he could stop himself his arms were around her, holding her against his chest, one hand buried in her curls.

“I know you wouldn’t. You’re too good,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

Skye didn’t pull away. Instead she hugged him tightly, pressing her face into his shirt.

His shirt was soaked through with her tears and he held her tighter, hating that she was in pain.

“I’m sorry,” Skye whispered.

Grant gave her a squeeze, trying not to cry himself. “So am I, Skye. You’ll never know how much.”

She slowly drew away, her arms still around him, and stared up at him: eyes red, face wet, shaking her head. “But I do.” She linked one hand with his and moved it over her heart, lips trembling through a sob. Skye licked the tears off her lips and took a quaking breath, composing herself. “I _know_ ,” she whispered as a wave of regret washed over him and he realized that Alice wasn’t the only gifted person on this base.

Grant smiled, finding this bittersweet. He’d always known she was special but not like this.

“I’ll do whatever I can to make things right,” he promised, pressing his lips to her forehead, letting them linger while she clutched his hand even tighter.

After a long moment, Skye let go of his hand and stepped back, leaving his hand cold at the loss of her warmth.

“I’ll talk to her, but I can’t promise she won’t do it again.” Skye wiped away more tears. “She really wants a dad because I’m not enough for her.”

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Grant replied before he could stop himself. He took a step forward, touching her cheek with his palm. “You’re enough, Skye. You always have been.”

How was she so beautiful when she cried?

Skye reached up to cover his hand with her as she stepped forward, taking his breath away.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. And with that look she gave him, he didn’t need powers to know she really did still love him.

Her chin tilted as she leaned closer, and for a moment he was sure she was going to kiss him, but then she abruptly stepped away, breaking the connection they’d been sharing and leaving a pain in chest.

“Grant, I’m glad you’re here and safe and that you’re getting help but I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” she whispered, voice breaking.

She gave him a lingering stare of longing before rushing from the room.

“Skye, I’m sorry!” He rushed after her, but she was long gone.

_Fuck._

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Skye rushed off, hoping no one saw her flight through the halls, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t stop until she reached a supply closet and locked herself inside. She leaned against the door and continued sobbing, both arms around her middle, keeping her upright.

What she wanted didn’t matter, she reminded herself. Her feelings for him didn’t matter. She had to keep this up, had to keep being the bad guy, had to keep denying her heart what it wanted. Because at the end of the day that little girl was the only thing that mattered.

But damn if the pain in her chest wasn’t crippling.

And the fact that she wasn’t the only one in pain made what she’d been forced to do a million times harder.


	11. (Skye) I Just Ran Out of Band-Aids

**_Two nights ago_ **

When Skye returned home the base was eerily quiet, setting off her internal panic button.

There wasn’t a soul in sight which was worrying all on its own, but even more so because her family wasn’t lingering about, waiting to fuss over her as usual. Where was her mother waiting to see how seeing Grant Ward after all this time had affected her baby girl? Why wasn’t her dad hovering over her, grilling her on the encounter? Where was Trip to offer her a bottle of scotch and an escape with some excuse about needing her help on a mission? Why wasn’t Hunter drunk and waiting to make inappropriate jokes about her making a conjugal visit to her ‘Hydra boyfriend’? And most importantly, why wasn’t her little rabbit rushing over to greet her because she’d refused to go to bed until her mama was home?

It was barely past nine, far too early for _everyone_ to be in bed, especially a base filled with restless agents and scientists.

She grabbed a bottle of water and headed down to the dorms, doing her best not to worry. As soon as she was sure her baby girl was safe she would track down her dad to make sure nothing horrible had happened in the six hours she’d been gone. The last time the base had been this empty an army of homicidal robots had been set loose to terrorize the world and the last thing they needed to deal with right now was another clusterfuck like that.

Skye opened her bedroom door, intending to peek in before she could wake the baby, but fear rushed through her as she found Alice’s bed empty.

“Dad!” Skye cried out in a panic as terror filled every vein in her body.

The constant state of fear she lived in was justified by the fact that her baby girl had already been kidnapped once, so her racing down the hall to find her was not an overreaction. She would tear down every door in this building if she had to.

Before she could break down the door to her parents’ room her dad appeared in his pajamas, perfectly calm, a sight which sent anger flaring through her chest.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“I will tell you what!” She yelled, ready to rip him a new one when she caught a peek of Alice resting peacefully in her mother’s arms.

Skye collapsed against the doorframe as relief washed over her.

Not only was her baby girl safe but she was in bed at a reasonable hour.

And while it should make her feel better, the truth was she knew deep down she wasn’t really safe. She would never be safe. Not while that madman was out there searching for her. And not while that moron sat in the White House working with Hydra to round up people with powers into camps.

“You should have told me where she was,” Skye whispered, close to tears.

Her dad glanced back at the sleeping pair before carefully closing the door as he stepped into the hallway.

“She’s safe,” he promised as he reached for her, but she pulled away, in no mood for dad comfort right now.

She was furious.

“I got home, and she wasn’t in her bed. Do you know how that feels?”

His eyes went dark as he glanced down at her. “You know I do.”

And he did.

After a pregnant Melinda had left her husband for Phil they’d gotten a few short weeks of parental bliss before Seamus, or Cal or whatever the fuck his name was now, kidnapped Skye. But unlike Alice, whom Skye had gotten to bring home, her parents had spent over twenty-five years believing Skye was dead.

But instead of feeling guilty for the reminder, Skye felt validation in her anger.

“Then you know why you can’t just take her without telling me, dad!”

“We didn’t take her anywhere, Skye! She played until she passed out and when I was carrying her to bed she woke up crying that she wanted to sleep with grandma. Your mother read to her until they both fell asleep and I was just about to call you when you came thundering down the hall like the place was on fire.”

“You still should have told me,” Skye whispered, fighting back tears. So, maybe she was overreacting a _bit_. Her dad didn’t deserve her anger, but he of all people should understand her very real fears.

He held up both hands in defeat and carefully walked towards her. “You’re right. I’m sorry. But Skye, she’s growing up. She’s not always going to be where you assign her to be. You can’t carry on like this, losing your mind because you don’t know where she is at every minute of every day.

Trust me, this is the safest place in the world for her. And if anything ever happened to her you’d know because your mother would start a war over her.”

He had a point. Nothing bad had ever happened to her inside these walls, which was another area of guilt for her. She couldn’t keep her safe without keeping her prisoner. If it were up to Skye, they’d live in a small house near the beach with a big yard for a dog. But a normal life had never been in the cards for Skye, so why would it be for her daughter?

“Okay, but if you’d walked through those doors to find everyone gone and then to find me gone, you’d be a mess too.”

“You’re right,” he admitted, kissing the top of her head.

Phil Coulson wasn’t her biological father, but he was the best dad anyone could have, and she was lucky that he was hers.

“Did she have something besides ice cream for dinner?” She asked, changing the subject.

He had the gall to look offended but they both knew Alice could con him into anything. It was pathetic. He was a grown man and the director of an underground spy organization, but he couldn’t say ‘no’ to a toddler.

“I will have you know she had two whole slices of pizza for dinner.” Skye resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Pizza was not her idea of a healthy dinner but it was better than chips and candy. “And she beat Fitz at a very rousing game of Minnie Mouse Matching.”

Poor Fitz. He was a sore loser to begin with but he did not take kindly to losing to a toddler. Especially at memory games. His ego still hadn’t adjusted to take his recovery into account.

“I’ll have to tell her to take it easy on him next time.”

They shared a smile and Skye realized she felt a lot better.

“So, where is everyone? Did Tony fuck up again while I was gone?”

“Skye, you know everything that goes wrong around here isn’t Tony’s fault.”

“No, sometimes it’s Nick’s,” she quipped.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and she smiled. Her work here was done.

“Everyone went out for drinks.”

Skye furrowed her brows in surprise. Her dad had allowed fun? On his watch? But what if his fugitive agents were spotted at a local bar! Whatever would he do?

She touched the back of her hand to his forehead. No fever, strange. Was this actually her dad or a pod person sent to impersonate him? She looked him over. He looked like her dad but…

“On a scale of Captain America dying to you meeting Captain America, how do you feel?”

“Skye,” he scolded in annoyance.

“What? If you’re allowing people to have fun, then you must be an imposter. Or a robot! Or both!”

“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” he replied dryly.

He had himself to blame for this; she took after him in the little shit department.

“Seriously, since when are we allowed to have lives? Aren’t you worried they’ll be spotted and arrested? You’d have to have a damn good reason to decide a night on the town was worth the risk. Especially tonight of all-” Skye sighed, realization hitting her. “Right, because of Ward.”

She supposed the entire team needed a drink to prepare for his arrival.

“Skye,” he started, having the decency to look guilty.

“It’s fine.

I should take Alice to bed. Going to need to rest up for all of the ‘there’s Skye’s evil Hydra boyfriend’ whispers tomorrow.” She couldn’t wait. Because dealing with him wouldn’t be bad enough, dealing with everyone’s hatred of him and suspicion of her was just what she needed to start her week.

“It’s late, and she’s already asleep. She can stay with your mom and I tonight. I know it’ll be hard, but you need a good night’s sleep more than anyone, angel. It’ll be easier if you’re not worrying about her.” He touched her cheek and inspected the deep, dark bags under her eyes with his worried dad expression.

While it would be physically painful for her to be away from Alice for that long Skye knew he had a valid point. She hadn’t gotten a real night’s rest in years. If the baby wasn’t having nightmares, Skye was having them. And on the rare nights that weren’t filled with bad dreams there were the memories of what was and what could have been. Then the guilt. And the sadness. And the missing him. And hating him.

Hating him was the most exhausting.

When Skye got more than three solid hours of sleep it was a miracle. She knew she should take one of the sleeping pills Robin had prescribed but the baby was more important than getting a good night’s rest. And if Skye took one of those stupid things she wouldn’t be there for her if she woke up screaming from a nightmare, or worse, if someone broke in to kidnap her again.

Skye wrestled with the decision before deciding that if she was going to survive tomorrow she’d need some sleep. “Fine, but…” She sighed, knowing sneaking in to give Alice a goodnight kiss would only wake her.

“Does she have Madigan with her?” If Alice woke up without her stuffed bunny, all hell would break lose.

“Of course.”

Skye didn’t know how to do this. They hadn’t been apart since she’d brought her home at five months old.

“All right…Goodnight.”

Skye lingered, wondering if twenty-nine was too old to sleep in your parents’ bed. Before she could make the decision that no, it wasn’t, her dad kissed her forehead.

“Goodnight, Skye.”

It was time to go but she couldn’t move her feet.

And it wasn’t just because she couldn’t walk away from her child but because if she left it would be mean being alone. And if she had to be alone she would replay that scene with Ward over and over in her head until she lost all resolve to do what she had to do tomorrow.

_“What-wait! I need to tell you-”_

_“There’s no time, tomorrow.”_

_“Skye!”_

_“No.”_

_“Skye, I still-”_

He still loved her. He didn’t need to say the words for her to know. It’d been written all over his face. But that hadn’t stopped her from needing to use the stone wall outside the interrogation room to support her as she sobbed over him trying to tell her. As if she didn’t already know. As if him saying the words would change what she needed to do to keep Alice safe.

And knowing he was still willing to risk his life for her after she’d thrown him away, and that he needed her to know how he felt so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable working with him made it really hard to keep up the lie that she hated him.

Because, it was a lie. A lie she’d had to tell herself for years to justify the guilt she felt about the decisions she’d been forced to make.

Her dad pulled her into a hug and she was grateful. She’d needed a hug, badly, and of course he could sense it; it was his job to know what she needed.

“Skye, I know bringing Ward here and letting him back into your life is going to be hard but it’s necessary to keep her safe,” he whispered, cradling her head against his chest. “I wouldn’t allow this if it wasn’t a last resort. I would never put you through that if I had a choice.”

She fought the urge to cry and pressed her face against the crook of his arm. “I know daddy,” she whispered, not wanting to admit that if there was a choice she would still bring him home. Seeing him again had unleased a floodgate of emotions she’d spent years shoving down into the deepest, darkest parts of her soul. While she wasn’t ready to forgive him, she desperately wanted to. Grant Ward was the root of every inner conflict she struggled with. She loved him but she couldn’t trust him. She missed him but she couldn’t forgive him. She needed him back as a partner to keep Alice safe but she couldn’t stop feeling if she’d just forgiven him enough to do this years ago she wouldn’t even be in danger to begin with.

Because if she had just accepted that her wounded pride wasn’t worth as much as his life she would have gone to see him when Coulson had first asked her to and maybe all of this could have been avoided. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, not back then certainly, but he deserved to know the truth and if he had…Maybe it would have been him with her that day. Or maybe he would have been locked up in a SHIELD prison and accessible to the team when she’d been taken. Any number of scenarios could have taken place that would have saved their daughter and given her a real life.

Skye finally understood him, as he’d once told her she would. When it came to the ones you love you would do anything to keep them safe.

And he’d loved John Garrett.

And while she understood why he’d done what he’d done to her, the team, to Fitz…Her love for him made her incapable of coming to terms with the fact that she hadn’t been enough for him. He loved her but he’d loved John more. He’d had a choice to make after John had nearly killed her and he’d made the wrong one.

If he had just picked her everything would be different.  They would have been together. He would have kept her safe. They would be a happy little family. And she’d have a child who have had everything.

Instead Alice was stuck with a mother who gave her everything she could but couldn’t give her everything she needed. Skye loved that little girl more than every other person in this world. She would go the ends of the Earth for her and burn everything in her path if it meant keeping her safe. Skye would die for her, and she nearly had, and still that wasn’t enough. Because the thing her baby girl wanted more than anything was her father and it was the one thing Skye couldn’t give her.

Skye hadn’t been enough for Grant and now she wasn’t enough for her little girl.

She had never been good enough for any of the families who had tossed her out like trash, why would it be different now?

Skye was unable to hold back a sob and she began to shake in her dad’s arms, the tears coming like a dam had broken. He held her tighter and kissed her temple, doing his best to calm her, only it wasn’t okay. Nothing was okay.

Up until tonight she’d been able to keep all of her insecurities bottled down but his hold over her was too strong. How was she going to keep her resolve to keep him at arm’s length when she couldn’t go seeing him for three minutes without losing her damn mind?

“I’m not going to let him hurt either of you.”

She almost laughed aloud. If only he knew these weren’t tears of fear but rather tears of knowing she’d never been enough for man she loved to be a good man and she wasn’t a good enough mother to make up for Alice’s lack of a father.

She pulled away from him and wiped at her eyes angrily. She couldn’t wallow in self-pity while wasting tears on a man who hadn’t loved her enough to be honest with her. He’d made his choice and no amount of regrets or longing would change the fact that he was to blame for his own action and those actions were partially to blame for the situation she was in.

Coulson wiped a stray tear off of her cheek and gave her a look filled with so much love she almost began to weep.

While it was true the two loves of her life didn’t love her as much as she loved them, her parents loved her more than she could have ever imagined she would be loved by someone. Maybe she wasn’t good enough to most people, but to them? To them she was everything, and she would forever be grateful that they’d found each other.

“Do you want me to make you a sandwich or something, sweetheart? I’ll stay up with you until you can fall asleep,” he offered, worried.

“I’m fine,” she lied, putting on a fake smile. “I’m exhausted, but if she wakes up just bring her to me, okay? You and mom shouldn’t be up all night trying to get her back to sleep.” She began to walk away, knowing if she didn’t leave now she’d let him sucker into letting him perform his ‘daddy will fix this’ routine and she didn’t want to spend the night sobbing in his arms like a child. She was a mom now. She didn’t have the luxury of that anymore.

“Wait,” he called with hesitation. “There’s a file on your desk but save it for the morning. Just try to sleep, please?” He pleaded, guiltily. He still had an issue toeing the line between being her dad and being her boss. While her boss had left work for her to do her dad was worried she’d stay up all night doing it.

Skye gave him a smile, knowing full well she wouldn’t sleep tonight, but sometimes a lie wasn’t the worst thing. Not if it was to spare the other person pain. “I will daddy, goodnight.”

She kissed his cheek and made her way back to her room.

While she was ready to pass out from exhaustion, she knew sleep wouldn’t come tonight. There was too much on her mind. Some work was just what she needed as a distraction. She left the light off and kicked off her shoes, far too tired to bother with a shower or a change of clothes. She flipped on her desk lamp and reached for the file, intending at least read it in bed until she was too tired to see anymore, but stopped in her tracks when she saw the name on the file.

What the hell was he trying to do? Break her? As if seeing Ward wasn’t bad enough, now he was going to force _this_ on her?

She was so sick and tired of him trying to get her involved in his progress in prison. She knew he just wanted to help, to show her that her decision to send him to prison hadn’t been wasted, that he’d gotten better, and that he was working on being a better man, but that didn’t mean he had the right to try to force it on her.

She loved her dad but his willingness to forgive Ward and his desire to be the one to fix him was a source of constant tension between them and honestly? She did not have the strength to put up with this tonight.

Skye threw the file on her desk, deciding to go ahead with the shower when a photo caught her eye. She reached down to where the contents of the file had strewn across her desk and picked up a horrifying photograph. She held it in both hands and allowed her jaw to drop as she sat on the edge of her bed.

Her entire body went cold as a few tears escaped her eyes. She ran her fingertip over his face and tried not to let her overwhelming guilt take over.

Would he have done this if she’d just gotten over her wounded pride and read his letters? Talked to him? Allowed him to serve his time in one of the vaults? Would it have mattered if she’d been the bigger person and tried to help him, like her dad had?

Or had his own guilt and shame been too strong?

How was he still alive?

She turned her eyes away from the bloody photograph and reached for his file again. She opened it and turned to his medical records, reading, three times, the full details of his multiple suicide attempts, until it finally sunk in that she could have lost him for good and if she didn’t need him now, she may have never known.

She turned to the records of his therapy sessions and the moment she saw her name she flipped to another section of his file, unable to come to terms with her role in his misery.

He hadn’t chosen her but that didn’t mean he’d deserved her dismissal either.

Skye pressed her hands to her mouth and began to weep.

They’d both made so many mistakes and everyone around them was paying for it.

Memories flashed through her mind. The first time she’d seen his serious, stoic face outside of her van. Their first argument on the bus. The first time he held her in training and she’d forgotten her own name. All of the times he’d caught her staring and she had to fight the urge to kiss him. All of the times he hadn’t caught her longing glances. Their first kiss. The night they’d made a child.

And then there were all the bad memories. Finding Eric’s body. Seeing Fitz nearly dead. Realizing everything she thought they’d shared had been a lie. Coming to terms with the fact that the man she loved was a cold-blooded murderer.

Maybe things weren’t that black and white but she couldn’t feel guilty about the past. He’d done terrible things and she’d reacted in the only way she could back then. All she could do now was keep Alice safe. That was the only thing that mattered. Not her feelings. Not her love for him. Not his redemption. Nothing.

There was nothing in this file that could change anything and it was stupid to keep flipping through it as though it could change the past. Skye shoved everything back inside, needing to stop rethinking every decision she’d made since the fall of SHIELD. She picked up a piece of paper from the floor and a name stuck out like a sore thumb. ‘Christian’. His older brother. The one he’d claimed was abusive. The one who was a beloved Senator. Hell, his entire family was loved by the entire country. It made his claims about them fall into her ‘lies he told me’ list, though not enough for her not to believe him enough to think they would be a danger to anyone close to him.

Skye’s biggest flaw was that she was too damn curious for her own good, so she began to read the session notes and it wasn’t long before she’d read every single page inside the file, focusing on everything to do with his family. To say she was horrified was an understatement. If she’d eaten a real meal this weekend she’d be on the floor of her bathroom, stress puking.

They were…Even if nothing he’d said in therapy was true, there were documents of cover-ups going back decades. His family was sick and powerful and as corrupt as they came. They were everything she’d been trying to protect their unborn baby from when she’d decided he could never find out the truth and forced her dad to send him away to serve his prison sentence.

There were a lot of what-ifs still swirling in her mind, but there was no denying it: she’d made the right decision back then. His family was a danger. And even if he could be trusted now, even if she could forgive him, she could not let him be a part of Alice’s life. Her reasons back then were still reasons now. It was clear that anyone Grant Ward loved would be used a chess piece in his family’s sick desire to make him suffer. Everything was a game to them and this wasn’t a game she was willing to play.

Skye carefully placed his sister’s autopsy report back into the file and sealed it, staring down at the floor as she gathered her bearings. Those people could never find out she existed. His brother was a violent sociopath who had abused Grant into abusing their brother so he could control them both without getting his hands dirty and a rapist who had gotten his sister pregnant and then convinced her to hang herself to keep it quiet. And his parents had not only let this all happen but there had been plenty of hush money paid to local police departments to keep all of the abuse allegations on their parts from the media.

They’d kill Skye just to hurt him and then Alice would have no one. And that wasn’t even the worst thing she could think of.

She remembered her father ripping her baby from her body, months before she was supposed to be born, and she reminded herself that this was the way sociopaths operated. They hurt people for fun, to get back at people, and innocent lives were always caught in the crossfires. Her father had been willing to kill his own grandchild just to hurt Skye and in turn hurt Melinda. What would the Ward family do to hurt the child who had gotten away from them?

Even that knowledge didn’t assuage her guilt. Because she wasn’t like them. She wasn’t a monster. And for the first time she couldn’t pretend he was one either. They’d both escaped hellish families and she had only made it out with her morality intact because of her mother. He hadn’t been given someone who would fight for him like that.

No, he had. But Skye hadn’t been able to fight that battle because of the life they’d made when the world was falling apart around them.

Skye removed a single picture from the file and climbed into bed. She stared down at it, letting herself feel her sadness. Guilt she was an expert in, fake hate too. But sadness? She hadn’t been allowed to feel sad about losing him but now…

She ran her thumb along the outline of his face. This was the man she’d fallen in love with: strong, guarded, secretly vulnerable, and her rock. Maybe he didn’t look like the man in the picture anymore but he was still that same man. Because despite him being a liar, he had never lied to her about who he was. And that was the truth that was the hardest to come to terms with. Because if it had all been real, how was she going to keep pretending it’d been a good decision to send him away?

Skye leaned back in despair and stared up at the ceiling, mentally ticking down the minutes until she’d have to face him again and trying to cope with the fact that her life was a fucking mess.


	12. (Skye) I Need More Time to Heal

**_Last night_ **

She couldn’t get away from Ward fast enough.

Skye strolled past the Koenigs, leaving Trip in the common room, and promised to be back soon.

She ripped her jacket open, her entire body feeling as though it were on fire. It wasn’t until she closed her bedroom door that she realized she’d been holding her breath.

Skye leaned against the door, letting out a long, winded sigh. Being in such close quarters with him, inhaling his woodsy scent, pretending to ignore the longing looks he sent her way, she hadn’t been able to think straight all day.

Her heart was still pounding.

Were it not for Trip sitting in the cockpit with her, she would have shoved Ward’s idiot ass against his seat and kissed his stupidly handsome face. Or slapped him. Okay, fine: both. Definitely both. But there would be more kissing than slapping. And sex.

So.

Much.

Sex.

Skye stared up at the ceiling, doing her best to ignore the irrational urges coursing through her body.

She was a strong, powerful woman. She could do this. She _had_ to do this. This was just a moment of weakness. Nothing more. It’d been four years since they’d had sex and it was the longest she’d ever gone without an orgasm. Any woman would be feeling the urge right about now. Hell, she was allowed a few moments of weakness, and so long as she didn’t act on this it was fine.

She exhaled slowly before sighing. It was so _not_ fine. A few hours with him and she was ready to drop her panties. She was still an idiot when it came to him.

A tiny snore filled the air and Skye smiled, forgetting all about Ward for a second. She dumped her things on her desk before moving to Alice’s bed. She carefully fixed her little head, being careful not to wake her. Once her head was back on the pillow the snores stopped and she clutched her rabbit tighter. Skye brushed Alice’s hair out of her face and smiled down at her.

She didn’t know how it was possible to love someone this much. Sometimes she was sure her heart would explode.

“I love you, pumpkin,” she whispered, kissing the top of her head. She watched her for another minute, to make sure she wouldn’t wake, before slipping out of the room.

Skye headed for the kitchen, trying her best not to worry about what _he_ was up to. She moved around, absentmindedly taking things out of the fridge, a million things on her mind. How was Fitz holding up? How long before Ward found out Alice existed? Was this a mistake?

“Skye? Skye!”

Skye jumped, dropping the knife in her hand. “For fuck’s sake, Jemma! Don’t sneak up on people like that!”

“Me?” Jemma bent over to pick up the knife, throwing it in the sink. “I’m not the one holding a knife looking murdery. Ward’s only been here for ten minutes, maybe wait a few days before stabbing him.”

Even without knowing what she knew now thanks to his file she wouldn’t find that funny.

She shot Jemma a glare before grabbing another knife, so she could finish what she’d started: making a sandwich. And not just _any_ sandwich. Nope. She was making Ward’s favorite sandwich. It was stupid, and she felt like an idiot for still remembering how he liked it. But he was too damn skinny, and it hurt her to see him like that. And just because she was still pretending to hate him didn’t mean she was going to let him stare. Besides, they needed to get him beefed back up if he was going to be safe in the field.

Skye let her mind wander to memories of their training sessions, specifically all the times they had ended with him taking off his sweaty t-shirt. She swallowed hard, suddenly thirsty. She reached for her water, wondering if he still had abs for days.

_No!_

_Bad Skye!_

_No banging the traitor, no matter how hot he is._

And he was still hot, even without the muscle.

Skye stared down at his sandwich and, remembering how thin he was now, started making a second.

Jemma watched Skye sadly, which Skye did her best to ignore, before grabbing a carton of milk from the fridge. She poured a glass and set it next to Ward’s plate as she leaned against the counter. “Skye…”

“Don’t, Jemma.” Skye whispered, gripping the knife.

“It’s okay to take care of him, Skye. No one blames you for caring. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”

“Fitz does.”

“It’s harder for him to forgive people, but he’ll come around. We both know he still loves Ward.”

Skye knew he did. It was why he was so angry. Why she’d been so angry. They’d loved him the most, so they’d been hurt the most.

“I know, Jemma, I just hate seeing him so angry and knowing it’s my fault.”

He’d been doing so well, until they’d decided to break Ward out of prison, and now he was just mean. Sure, Fitz had always been a bit of an asshole, but this was different. Sometimes she wasn’t even sure their Fitz was even in there anymore.

“It’s not your fault, Skye.”

She met Jemma’s eyes with a shrug. “Then whose it is?”

“Oy, thanks love. I was starving.” Hunter interrupted, grabbing a sandwich and biting into it before Skye could stop him.

She glowered at him, annoyed. “That wasn’t for you,” she huffed.

“You gonna eat that?” Trip grabbed the other, knowing full well Skye wasn’t going to eat it and she threw her hands up, defeated. Fine, she’d make more.

Hunter leaned in, waving his sandwich in Skye’s face. “Oy, love! Thanks to you I have a roommate now.” She shot him a warning look, but Hunter was too stupid to stop himself. “Do you know what a pain in the arse it’s going to be having to babysit your Hydra boyfriend?” Skye twirled the knife between her fingers, feeling the itch to stab Hunter. Not fatally, just in the thigh. Or a bit _higher_. “I mean, look, I’m sure your conjugal visit was great, and we all agree you need a nice dicking, but there is no way it was good enough that you had to break him out of prison just to get more of it.” No, she was _definitely_ going to stab him.

“Enough!” Jemma yelled, grabbing Skye’s arm before the knife made contact.

Hunter chuckled, and Skye scowled at him. “Don’t worry, crumpet. I was never in any danger,” he said cheerfully, kissing the top of Jemma’s head. “Skye loves me too much to do permanent damage. Besides, we all know her problem is she just needs to take that traitor for a joyride; release all of that pent-up tension.”

“Jemma, I’m going to stab your cousin in the eyeball,” Skye warned.

Trip grabbed a six-pack, then took Hunter by the collar. “Come on, idiot; if she stabs you in the only place you’re useful then I’m not getting laid tonight.”

“Oy! Who said you were getting laid tonight?”

Jemma rolled her eyes and began putting things away. Skye stood at the sink, fuming. If this was what it was going to be like now…Hunter was a dead man.

“I cannot believe we’re related,” Jemma muttered, as if sharing DNA with Hunter was scandalous.

“Damn right,” he muttered, sneak attacking her with a kiss on the cheek as he rushed in to grab a bag of chips and quickly ran out before Skye could throw something at him.

Jemma smiled, shaking her head, and took a drink from the milk she’d poured for Ward.

“I know he’s an arse, but he does mean well, Skye. We’re all worried about you. It can’t be easy, seeing him again. I think he thinks if he can get you to laugh about it then it means he doesn’t have to worry so much.”

Skye glanced up at her, still annoyed, but not at Jemma. “I’m beginning to understand why Bobbi left him.”

“ _Skye_ ,” Jemma scolded, failing to hide a smile.

Skye tossed the dish rag down and leaned against the counter, drumming her fingers along the wood. “I don’t know what to do, Jemma. I had this plan and I was so sure I could do this but then I saw him and…” She let out a small sigh and shrugged in defeat. “I spent so much time making him into a monster and I’m not sure he is one,” she admitted.

Jemma sat on the table across from Skye and began toying with the hem of her shirt nervously. “Well…maybe…”

“What? You can say it. I’m not going to get mad at you.”

They’d all be walking on eggshells with her since this morning and she didn’t need to be handled with kid’s gloves. She was a grown-up; she could handle the truth.

“Maybe you should just tell him the truth and forgive him.

You still love him, Skye. You can pretend you don’t, but I knew the moment you saw his picture on that screen and the Director told us his plan that you’d never stopped. I know you think you’re keeping her safe by pushing him away but no one’s ever truly safe.

And I’m not saying you need to do it tonight. He needs to earn your forgiveness. _But_ , I do think you should be open to it.

You’re only hurting yourself if you don’t.”

“How?

Jemma, how can _you_ of all people suggest that I forgive him?

He tried to kill you!

And Fitz was willing to _die_ for you. Grant couldn’t even abandon John for me.

Just because I’m still stupid enough to still care about him doesn’t mean he ever really cared about me. He’s a liar, Jemma. And I don’t know if I can trust him or his feelings. And even if I did, it doesn’t erase anything he did.”

Jemma rubbed her sweaty palms on her trousers, close to tears. “I know it’s hard, but…Skye, he would _die_ for you. You _have_ to know that. Hell, he’s almost died for all of us at some point. He jumped out of a plane to save my life. I have to believe that man, the one who risked his life for us repeatedly, is still in there. I don’t believe that he’s as evil as you and Fitz make him out to be.”

“Then _you_ forgive him,” Skye whispered, unable to meet her eyes.

“I _have_ ,” Jemma insisted, leaving Skye in shock.

“I’m not like you and Fitz. I can’t hold onto anger until it infects me. And I get why you can’t forgive him yet, but you can’t expect him to change or to be a better man if you don’t give him the chance. If we all keep treating him like he’s evil and irredeemable then he will be.

He just needs a chance to prove himself and if we give it to him I believe he can.

And I think you know that.

If you didn’t, you wouldn’t let him anywhere near Alice, even to keep her safe.

And let’s be honest, if he knew the truth about what your father did, then that fucking bastard would be dead faster than Hunter could finish a bottle of scotch.”

Skye shifted uncomfortably before pushing away from the counter. “Ward’s not here to kill anyone. I’m not going to use him as my personal assassin.”

“But isn’t that the endgame? Eliminate your father? And Hydra? I’m not naive enough to think it will end any other way, and I know you aren’t either.”

Skye knew full well how this would end, and it wouldn’t be Ward killing her father. But Jemma didn’t need to know that part of her plans.

She glanced back at her with a small shrug. “I’ll try, Jemma. But for now, he can’t know how I feel, and I can’t let him near her. Even if I could forgive him, he’s not safe. Her powers…Jemma, what if she sees something horrible in his past? She doesn’t need to suffer more trauma. Being forced to relive mine is enough.

And besides, his family is dangerous. Maybe even more than my father. If they found about her…”

Skye exhaled slowly and shook her head. “I’m not going to treat him like a monster, but I’m not going to be his friend either. It’s too risky. But if that’s what you need to do, Jemma, do it. You don’t need my permission to be his friend. And I’m not going to hate you for it. If things were different, I’d probably forgive him too, because you’re right, I do still love him. But love isn’t going to keep my baby girl safe.”

“I know and don’t worry, I’ll look out for him.”

Skye smiled, close to tears. She reached for Jemma’s hand and gave it a squeeze as a thank you. She could always count on Jemma not to judge her feelings when it came to Ward and to understand how muddled they were.

“Fitz isn’t going to be happy about that,” Skye warned, not wanting her desire for Ward to be okay to cause even more friction between the pair. Skye didn’t know what was up with the two of them lately, but she was worried.

If those two couldn’t make it then romantic love was officially dead. And no matter how cynical Skye had become, she still held out hope that things wouldn’t always be completely terrible.

“You let me deal with Fitz,” Jemma replied weakly.

“Fair enough.” Jemma was a big girl who could handle herself just fine.

“Come on, if we leave those two alone much longer they’re going to have sex on the couch.”

Jemma hopped off the table with a frown, following Skye. “You go in first, I do not need to see my cousin’s arse again.”

Skye laughed and threw an arm around Jemma, covering her eyes as she lead the way.

“We’re coming in and there better not be any penises out that Jemma is related to!”

“Bloody hell, Skye,” Jemma muttered, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “I know you’re severely damaged but _eww_.”

Skye hid a smile. Jemma was adorable.

The boys glanced up and Hunter leaned back with a huge grin, patting the seat next to him. “No penises here, love, but if you want to send Jemma away I think we can show you a good time.”

Skye flipped Hunter the finger and released Jemma.

“Fuck off,” she said, kicking his foot off the coffee table. She grabbed two beers, one for her and one for Jemma, as she threw herself onto the couch. Hunter began toying with her hair and she swatted him away, not in the mood for his shit.

Jemma took a seat in an armchair, waving away the beer Skye offered. “I’m good.”

Skye paused mid-slap and stared at Jemma in surprise. “But they’re your beers. You know if you don’t have at least one these two alcoholics won’t leave you any.” They didn’t get out for supplies much. Alcohol was a luxury around here.

Jemma wrinkled her nose and took a sip from her water bottle. “It’s fine, I doubt I’ll be in the mood for it anytime soon.”

Trip and Skye exchanged glances, each concerned and confused but knowing better than to push. Hunter on the hand didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘tact’ so he opened his big damn mouth like always.

He took a long swig from his beer and eyed her suspiciously from head to toe. “Oy, crumpet, you’re not sprogged up, are you? Because if you are, I’m not going to be in the room when you tell gran you let some Scotsman inside of you, and out of wedlock no less. You’ll give the old biddy a heart attack.”

Skye smacked him upside the head. “What in the hell is the matter with you? Did your mother drop you on your head as a baby?”

Hunter howled in pain, rubbing the back of his head while scowling at Skye. “Look, the last time one of you bloody women stopped drinking I ended up having to learn how to change nappies. And with the way those two go at it, I’m surprised it’s taken this long.”

Skye pinched the bridge of her nose. He was such a fucking idiot.

“First of all, you’ve maybe changed what? Three diapers in your life? Chill. Second, Jemma is not pregnant.” If she were, Skye would already know.

“Do I look bloody pregnant to you, Lance!” She stared down at her body, adjusting her sweater with a frown. “It’s this bloody sweater, isn’t it? I look like a ballooned cow in this thing.”

“Don’t listen to him, he’s an ass. You look as hot as always, Jemma,” Trip assured with a wink before kicking Hunter in the shin.

Hunter cursed loudly but everyone ignored him.

Jemma blushed and waved in Trip’s direction. “Stop, I’m not ‘hot’.”

“The fuck you’re not. If it weren’t for Fitz…girl, I’d have shown you how hot a long time ago. Hell, I might still. Is he down for a threesome? Or sharing? We can do this.”

Jemma let out an uncharacteristic giggle as she considered his offer for a moment. “Stop, I might just ask him if you don’t.”

Hunter stared between then angrily. “Oy! You’re shagging me, remember? You’re not allowed to shag her. The only person around here who goes around fucking members of the same family is Ward. Don’t be like him.”

“Hmm, I think he’s afraid you’ll like fucking Jemma more than you do him,” Skye teased, long past feeling any sort of embarrassment over her not-boyfriend fucking her mom.

“Don’t change the bloody subject. If there’s no little monster inside of her then why isn’t she drinking? The Jemma I know can drink any one of us under the table.”

“Because I don’t want to,” Jemma replied, narrowing her gaze on him. Skye was sure someday Jemma would beat her to the whole stabbing him thing. But she’d earned it, having grown up with him.

“Oh please, you never say ‘no’ to alcohol, you big lush.”

Jemma threw a pillow at him angrily and leaned back, sipping her water in annoyance. “If you must know I think one of those germ bags infected me. Damn children, running around this base,” she cursed. “Except yours, Skye.”

Skye shrugged, unoffended. “My kid is awesome.”

“Didn’t you vaccinate those little monsters?” Hunter asked, wiping his hands on his shirt as if that would rid him of any germs he may have picked up.

“Yes, but it takes a few weeks to kick in and if they’re already sick…” she shrugged.

“And here I thought it was the stress of Ward making you sick,” Trip muttered.

Jemma shot him a warning glare and shook her head, but Skye waved them off.

“It’s fine, get it all out of your system. I know everyone hates Ward and those who don’t know him are going to hate him just because he was with Hydra. I’ve been getting the dirty looks all week. I’m used to it.”

“Don’t worry, no one is brave enough to say anything to your face,” Trip said, winking in her direction.

“Well, that’s comforting,” Skye teased, sipping more beer.

Hunter inspected the bags under Jemma’s eyes with a frown. “If you’re sick shouldn’t you be in bed? I don’t need to catch this shit, Jemma. This one just got over the flu,” he complained, motioning to Skye. “Do you know how hard it was to make sure I didn’t get infected?”

Skye rolled her eyes, but he had a point. “That thing was near impossible to get rid of. You should hydrate and rest before it really hits, Jemma.”

“I’m fine, I got my shot weeks ago. I’m not contagious, my body is just fighting it off. In a day or two I’ll feel better. Besides, Fitz just got his shot and I don’t want to expose him to anything by climbing into bed with him while I feel like this.”

“Trouble in paradise?” Hunter teased.

“For someone who can’t handle a real, adult relationship you sure do love to poke your nose into other people’s love lives,” Jemma snarked.

Skye smiled and leaned back, knowing they didn’t have much of these moments together and wanting to enjoy it for once. Besides, watching Jemma tear Hunter a new one was going to be so much fun.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Reluctantly, Skye watched as Hunter and Trip did her job.

“We’ve got her,” Trip whispered, giving her a nod.

Skye lingered for a moment before turning and heading down the hall angrily. Her blood was boiling, she felt sick, and she wanted to scream.

Did this have to happen tonight of all nights?

“I’m not going to let you stab him tonight,” Jemma warned as Skye entered the kitchen.

Skye sighed and held up her hands in defeat. “I’m not going to hurt him. I just lost it a little, okay? I think I’m due that.”

Jemma rolled her eyes and continued her sandwich making.

“Give me that,” she muttered in annoyance, nudging Jemma aside. She was making it all wrong. And it was best to double up on the ingredients. He needed it.

Her hands shook as she assembled his sandwich, still feeling manic from earlier. But when it came to her kid she had a hard time keeping her emotions in check.

“It’s not too late to tell him the truth,” Jemma whispered, placing a hand on Skye’s shoulder.

Skye gripped the counter to control the trembling of her body.

“I can’t,” she insisted, knowing Jemma was right.

_Daddy’s a monster._

Yes, he was.

And yet…

_“I will do everything in my power to keep her safe._

_I love you.”_

Skye didn’t need her powers to know he wasn’t lying. But thanks to them she couldn’t pretend her was. He’d taken one look at Alice and decided he was all in. Skye wasn’t sure if that made their situation better or worse.

She pushed the plate towards Jemma and fell onto the bench, burying her face in her hands.

This was all too complicated and fucked up. She didn’t know what to do anymore. Everything would be so much easier if they could live normal, boring lives without fear.

“Skye?”

“You’d better go, Jemma. He needs to eat, and you and Hunter have work to do,” she ordered, finally meeting her eyes.

“So…we’re doing this?” Jemma whispered sadly.

Skye hesitated for a moment before nodding. She hated herself for it, but this was what was best for her little girl. She wasn’t sure about much anymore, except that she would do anything to keep her daughter safe.


	13. (Skye) You Must Be a Miracle Worker (Swearing Up and Down You Can Fix What’s Been Broken)

**_June 2014_ **

“You’re going to have to talk to me eventually, you know?”

Skye glanced towards him for the first time since he’d waltzed in here to give him a ‘look’ as if to say, ‘in your dreams’. She was not doing this shit. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. And especially not with him. Coulson-No. _Dad_. She still needed to get used to that. Whatever. He was crazy if he thought she was going to open up to the man responsible for breaking up her parent’s marriage.

“Do you want me to get your mom in here?”

Skye scoffed in disgust. If this was how he ran his practice, it was no wonder he was readily available to come work for fugitives.

“I’m not a child, go for it.” As if her mom could force her into something she thought was stupid too.

“Skye, they’re worried about you. It’s been a hard year for you. Getting shot. Almost dying. Agent Ward-”

“I don’t give a single fuck about Grant Ward,” she growled under her breath. Sure, maybe she wanted to punch him in his fucking face, but that was not a fuck to be given, just an instinctive impulse.

She felt a stirring in her pelvis and her hands instinctively covered her middle.

She sighed.

Okay, fine. Maybe there was one fuck she gave about him. But it wasn’t their baby’s fault she had him as a father. That was Skye’s mistake.

Though, it was hard to consider anything that had led to her existence being a mistake, even if it meant she was going to have a daily, living reminder of him for the rest of her life.

“The baby,” he continued, ignoring her small outburst. “Finding your birth mother. Anyone would be stressed. It’s okay to need to talk it out. And sometimes it’s easier to talk it out with a stranger.”

“You’re not a stranger,” Skye snarked. “You’re the guy who convinced my mom to leave my dad and then broke ethics rules and started fucking her even though she was your patient.”

“Your parents’ marriage was over the day you were declared dead.” Skye had never rolled her eyes so hard in her entire life. “And your mother and I got together after she left my care.”

“Great care, Doc, convincing her she was delusional, so she’d give up on me and move on with you.”

Her mom had never believed she was dead, so she’d kept looking, even when the stress of coping with her determination coupled with his grief had driven her dad away. Had it not been for Andrew, she may have found her, they might have been the family they were supposed to be. Instead Skye had continued to grow up in shitty foster homes while her dad threw himself into his work and her mother lived a miserable, lonely existence.

Skye wasn’t sure which was worse: Coulson giving up from the start or May abandoning her to start a new family with Andrew.

“It wasn’t healthy for her-”

“Don’t insult me by pretending you ever gave a shit about her mental health. You forced her to stop looking for me, tried to get her to quit her job and start a new family she wasn’t ready for, then ran off when things got too hard after Bahrain. You can blame my dad for being a shitty husband all you want, but he never abandoned her when shit got real.”

May had told her everything. About her shitty first husband, Skye’s biological father, the murderer. About leaving him for Coulson when she discovered she was pregnant with Skye. About how he kidnapped her, and she’d never gotten over losing her. About being forced by SHIELD to see a therapist, who she wound up engaged to. About what happened in Bahrain and how it had broken what little progress she’d made since losing Skye. All of it.

Skye wasn’t in the mood for his excuses. The fact was that men had been ruining her life since before she was born, and he was just another on a long list of failures. She was over all men and their bullshit.

“That’s not how it happened-”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night.”

“You’re even more difficult than your mother, you know that?”

Skye smirked. “Doc, you have no idea how difficult I can be.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_July 2014_ **

“No,” Skye said before he even opened his mouth. She’d forgotten it was Wednesday and therefore the day her mom’s ex was around to bother them all with his shrinking bullshit.

“You’re going to have to deal with your issues someday.”

She was so sick of everyone expecting her to fall apart because Grant Ward was gone. She was the one who had sent him away. They needed to give her more credit.

“Andrew, leave it alone,” her mom warned, not even bothering to look up from her book.

Skye bit into her toast, feeling a smug sense of satisfaction.

“Fine, but she’s headed for a breakdown.”

“I got through mine just fine on my own,” she sassed as she glanced up at him. “I think I can handle taking care of _my_ daughter if the time comes.”

 _Damn_ , Skye thought as she rubbed her barely visible bump. _Your grandma is a fucking savage, little one._

And as it turned out, it was a family trait.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_December 2014_ **

“One lived, one died.”

Skye continued muttering to herself, picking at a hangnail while rocking gently in her hospital bed. 

“One…” she forced her eyes shut, trying to fight off the fog. She had to remember. One…

“He killed her,” she whispered, on the verge of crying again. 

“Shh, I’m here,” Coulson whispered, pulling her close and gently kissing the top of her head. 

“Are you in pain, baby?” Her mom asked, reaching for the button to give her more morphine.

“NO!” Skye screamed, not wanting to be drugged anymore. She’d been drugged enough for one lifetime. And the more drugs they fed her the more she forgot.

“It’s okay,” her mom insisted, taking her face in her hands. “Just breathe, Skye. He’s not here. He’s not going to hurt you anymore. You’re going to be okay.”

“I want my baby!” Skye wailed, clutching her mom’s arm. “Bring me my baby!”

Her mom shook her head, tears in her eyes. “Skye, there’s no baby.”

“No, mom. He…took one. There were two. You found the other. Tell them, Jemma.”

For the fifth time that day Jemma sat in the corner and shook her head sadly.

“Skye, you weren’t having twins. That’s just a figment of your imagination. Something you came up with to cope with your baby dying.”

“No. No. No.” She shook her head violently. She remembered. There were…Skye ran her nails over her face with a scream. She didn’t know what was real anymore.

“I’m sorry, Skye,” Jemma whispered, her face filling Skye’s vision as she felt herself fall back. The last thing she saw before she blacked out was the needle in her arm.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_December 2014_ **

“Skye, you need to eat something. At least a bite of the toast,” Andrew whispered, placing a hand on the small of her back and pulling the tray closer.

She stared ahead, barely aware of his presence. She felt nothing. She was empty. Why bother with food? They should have let her die.

“Sweetheart, have some juice,” her mom pleaded.

Skye closed her eyes and moved to her side, curling into a ball.

“I’m going to have to order a feeding tube,” Andrew warned. “She won’t be strong enough for her next surgery without it.”

“Baby, please,” Melinda begged.

“Just let me die,” Skye muttered, just wanting to sleep.

She felt her mom’s tears on her cheek as she clutched her hand and kissed the top of her head. She ignored their continued attempts to get her to eat. Why couldn’t they leave her alone and let her die in peace? At least then she’d be with her baby.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_January 2015_ **

“I want my daughter!” Skye screamed, throwing a bedpan at Andrew’s stupid head. Unfortunately, he was quicker than he looked and ducked before it made contact.

“Skye,” he warned but she didn’t give a shit.

She was sick of this. Sick of needles and scalpels and this goddamn room! She wanted out of here.

“It’s not safe for you to see her yet.”

“This is bullshit! She’s been out of the NICU for _two_ weeks!” It wasn’t like she was asking to hold her, which she’d only gotten to do once. “I just want to see she’s okay for myself. Pictures aren’t enough.”

The last time she saw her in person she was attached to tubes and wires and-Skye buried her face in her hands, close to tears.

“Please, just take me to see her. I can look in through the window. I won’t get near her.”

“Skye, if you leave this room you can get an infection. I know this is hard, but your immune system is compromised. If you get sick, you won’t get through your last surgery. And what good will you be to her if you’re dead?”

She glanced up at him defiantly. “And if I die anyway?”

He sighed in defeat. “You’re worse than your mother,” he muttered, moving to the door. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Skye smiled for the first time in weeks.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_March 2015_ **

Skye stared down at the bundle in her arms, waving her chubby fists in the air while she ate from her bottle. She should be getting breast milk instead of this formula crap, but Skye had never gotten a chance to breastfeed her own baby, let alone this one.

“Jemma, take her please,” Skye whispered, feeling that familiar despair again.

Jemma did as she was told, shushing the baby as she began to fuss, reaching for Skye.

Skye ignored them both and stood, as if in a daze.

“Yeah? It’s me. Get Dr. Avery. It’s happening again. Dammit, Lance, just do it,” Jemma muttered into her phone.

Skye leaned against the doorframe of her bedroom, staring out into the hallway.

Was this every going to stop? Or did she finally have to accept the fact that she was broken and beyond repair?

She should have let them take Alice. She’d be better off with a real family instead of a mom who was crazy.

“I’ll meet him there,” Skye whispered. She wasn’t going to fight the tranquilizers this time. Hell, they could just keep her locked up in the cage. It would be best for everyone.

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**_April 2015_ **

“Dammit! Get her out of there!” Melinda yelled as Coulson held her back.

Skye lay still and unmoving, unlike Coulson had when he’d been in her place. She’d been through hell over the past few months, but nothing compared to this. But she wasn’t going to lose it, not this time. No, she was going to bottle in her rage because otherwise it would consume her and everyone around her.

Trip pulled her into his arms and carried her from the room and towards a nearby sickbed.

Skye glared down at it, having been in one too many of these for one lifetime.

“Skye?” Jemma asked, pulling off her stethoscope from around her neck. “How are you feeling?”

“Not crazy anymore, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said, meeting her eyes. At the sight of the horror she saw reflecting back at her, she smiled. “It’s a joke, Jemma.”

Jemma sighed in relief.

“Don’t worry, it worked,” she said, holding her arm out for the blood pressure cuff.

Gone were the muddled memories and fantasies that left her unable to separate fact and fiction and here were the very real, very vivid memories. She knew the truth now. About everything. And the truth was worse than anything she’d imagined while out of her mind with grief. But they could never know that. It would break them to know they’d made a mistake in trying to fix her.

“Where is she?” Skye whispered, doing her best not to be offended by how apprehensive they were. She deserved it. “I’m not going to lose it again, you guys. Where’s my daughter? Mom?”

Melinda glanced towards Dr. Avery for permission and he nodded, making Skye’s blood boil.

“Hunter!” Her dad called, looking as irritated with the Doctor as Skye was. Good, maybe he’d fire this one too.

“Someone missed you,” Hunter announced, entering the room with the little monkey.

Skye did her best not to cry as she took her from his arms and stared down at her with a smile. “Hi baby girl, mama missed you,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to her chubby fists.

“Sweetheart?” She glanced up to find her dad watching them, worry lining his face.

“We’re good,” Skye whispered. “We’re going to be fine, little one,” she promised, staring back down at her baby girl.

No one was ever going to hurt her again and if they tried it, Skye would kill them without hesitation.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_August 2015_ **

Sousa sighed and glanced at her watch while tapping her foot.

“I can do this all day, Agent Coulson. You’re not leaving this room until you talk. Director’s orders.”

Skye smirked into her coffee cup. Amateur. She’d run off two therapists already, one a SHIELD trained therapist, and it wouldn’t be long before she scared this one off too. Hell, they were even taking bets on it. A bet she’d win. Because it didn’t matter how good they were or how much they cared, in the end her trauma was too much for anyone to handle. And from the looks of this one she wouldn’t last a week.

“Dr. Garner warned me you’d be difficult, but guess what? So am I.”

“How is my almost step-dad doing?” Skye answered, taking another sip.

Sousa failed to hide her amusement.

“Fine. He misses your arguments.”

“That makes one of us.”

That wasn’t true, he’d grown on her. Sure, it had been weird having him around, but he’d been really good for her during her long stay in the Avengers facility. Maybe it was his guilt, maybe it was because he stilled loved her mom, or maybe he’d just started to like her but eventually he’d become a huge pushover who caved anytime she needed something.

But of course, she’d been completely out of her mind back then and it had gotten to him.

Poor bastard. Broken by both mother and daughter.

She’d have to send him an edible arrangement someday.

“How’s Alice?”

Skye shot her a warning glare.

“Look, you’re new here so you don’t know the rules yet, so I’m going to let this pass. But in the future, there are two things you don’t speak of. One, my daughter. Two, Grant Ward. Got it?”

“Fine, then what do you want to talk about?”

Skye scoffed. “Nothing, I’m only here because the Director is forcing me to be here.”

Maybe she’d be more receptive if her dad had hired Andrew back, because truth was she didn’t this new doctor and at least she’d grown to trust Andrew. And that last doctor? Fucking asshole. After what he’d done to her, throwing her into the machine after running and spilling everything to her dad, was it a wonder she didn’t want to be here?

Not that she had a choice, but did her dad actually think she was going to participate in this shit? She knew full well there were recording devices in here, plus nothing said here was confidential. There were thick, detailed files on every agent, including therapy session notes. There was no way in hell she was ever opening up. 

“You can treat this like an option all you want, Skye. But you are never going to be cleared until we talk about what happened to you in those eleven weeks you were kept captive. The sooner you deal with it the sooner you no longer have to be a patient.”

Bloody images filled her mind and Skye pushed them away, ignoring the therapist.

“Skye, it’s been over a year since you were taken. And you’ve never really talked about what happened. It isn’t healthy to keep that all to yourself. You need to talk about it, so you can deal with it. You lost so much, and I cannot imagine what you went through and how hard it must be just to get up in the morning, but I can help you through it.”

No, it wouldn’t. Therapy was crap. Okay, not for everyone. It had helped Jemma a lot, Hunter too. But Skye didn’t need therapy. She didn’t need to discuss her feelings or her trauma. Talking wasn’t going to heal anything. Talking wouldn’t change what she’d been through. All it would do is drudge it back up. What Skye needed was more time to cope and to keep going on with her life.

Sure, maybe she didn’t sleep much and maybe she didn’t eat as well as she should but did any new parent?

What she needed was help controlling her powers. Her emotions were a mess because everyone else’s were a mess. Finding someone to help her would be a better use of her time instead of wasting time on this shit.

“Fine, don’t talk. I’ll talk,” she said, opening Skye’s file. “I spoke to the Dire-your dad,” she corrected. “He’s worried you may still may have problems accepting that Alice is-”

“Don’t,” Skye warned. “And he has no business discussing my treatment with you. As my boss he is entitled to know whether I’m fit for duty and that is it. He can read your case notes and session notes but that’s it.”

“Well, why don’t you give me something to put in my session notes other than ‘patient refuses to cooperate and should not be in the field’?”

Skye scoffed. She could threaten her job all she wanted, in the end her dad would clear her because he needed her back out there.

“Look, Doc, I don’t need to talk about it. I lived it. And rehashing it over and over again until my poor, fragile feelings are healed isn’t going to do anyone any good. Besides, there is no healing from what I went through. You just learn to live with it and move on. That’s what I’ve done my whole life and I’m doing just fine.”

“So, the nightmares have stopped?”

Skye exhaled in annoyance.

“Want to talk about them? According to your file, you stubbornly refused to talk about them with both Dr. Garner and Dr. Avery. Maybe if you tell me about them, we can work through the meaning behind them, so they stop.”

“The meaning behind them is I have some really fucked up memories to cope with thanks to your predecessor forcing me into that machine against my will to recover them all.”

“Skye, I’m sorry for that but that wasn’t my fault. You cannot punish me for what he did. I’m here to help you.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t trust you. You’re just another SHIELD agent who reports everything back to the boss.”

Sousa leaned forward and met Skye’s eyes with her own. “You know, I don’t have to.”

Like Skye was falling for that one. “Maybe, but I don’t trust you won’t.”

They were at an impasse and this shrink didn’t know it yet, but Skye was the most stubborn person on this base.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_March 2016_ **

“I was starting to think you’d finally given up and quit,” Skye said, checking the time again. The shrink was over an hour late. Usually it was Skye who failed to show up for their sessions.

“Well, you never show up on time, so I took a trip to that little coffee place down the street. Macchiato?”

Skye stood and took the offered cup warily.

“Thanks?”

What game was she playing?

And damn, this was good coffee.

“What’s up, Doc?”

“You win,” she said, and Skye followed her into her office, wondering if she’d heard her right.

“What?”

“I’m done trying to force you to open up. It’s exhausting and quite frankly, I have more important things to do. So once a week I will go get two coffees and be here doing paperwork. And if you decide to show up, fine. If not, I don’t care.”

But Skye knew this was a trick. Therapy was not optional with daddy-Director.

“So, we just have coffee? Won’t Coulson blow a fuse?”

“I won’t tell him if you don’t.”

This was an arrangement Skye could live with.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_November 2016_ **

“Another?”

Skye glanced up, her eyes still red. She nodded, holding out her glass. Robin didn’t hold back, she filled it to the brim, but that didn’t stop Skye from taking it like a shot, enjoying the burn as it went down. She hadn’t felt this traumatized in years. How could this happen?

“I know. The shock hasn’t even fully set in yet but…” Robin sighed and they both sat in silence, doing their best not to cry.

“She was supposed to win,” Skye whispered, tears filling her eyes again. “She was supposed to win and give us pardons and give us our lives back and my daughter was supposed to grow up with a strong, powerful woman as the leader of the free world. How did we not see this coming?”

“Hydra.”

They both looked up to find Jemma, followed by Bobbi, entering Robin’s office. Skye moved to give them room and allowed Jemma to sit in her lap so the four of them could fit on the shrink couch. She wrapped both arms around her tiny friend and buried her face in her shoulder, trying not to cry.

“We knew their ranks were filled with politicians, we just failed to take into account that while we’ve been struggling to get by they were infiltrating the government and meddling with our election. It’s smart, it’s what we should have done,” Bobbi muttered, taking the scotch from Robin’s hand, and chugging it from the bottle.

She hated this. They’d technically won, but thanks to an antiquated, racist technicality the Hydra puppet with the bad toupee was going to have access to the nuclear codes. All because Hydra had decided to come full circle and used white rage to gain power. White rage and fear of Inhumans, Mutants, aliens, and all those considered ‘other’. Tony may not have meant to, but the Sokovia Accords had given Hydra and the alt-right nut jobs a platform to stir up fear and discord. They’d be rounding them up into camps soon, Skye could feel it in her gut. 

“What are we going to do now?” Jemma asked weakly.

“We fight like hell,” Melinda said, appearing in the doorway.

That was something Skye knew how to do.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_October 2017_ **

“He’s coming back in a week, Skye, we have to talk about him.”

Skye groaned loudly. Her rule was she didn’t talk about Ward. Weren’t her years of foster care trauma enough for Robin? What more did she want from her. She was taking this therapy thing seriously. She just had no interest in discussing the former love of her life.

“ _Skye_.”

“Robin!”

The Doc rolled her eyes and tossed her notepad on her coffee table before leaning forward, her elbows resting on her knees.

“We both know you’ve never really dealt with what he did to you. Do you really want to risk a breakdown because you’re forced to see him every day? Or risk pulling a Jemma?”

Skye smirked. She liked that the Doc was willing to joke about things like attempted murder. It made her relatable.

“I’m not going to kill him.”

“He broke your heart then left you pregnant and alone. Who wouldn’t kill him?”

“Grant Ward didn’t leave me. I sent him away to keep my kid safe. There’s a big difference.”

“I see you don’t deny the breaking your heart part.”

Skye rolled her eyes. “I got over that a long time ago. Being kidnapped and tortured by your biological father puts trivial shit into perspective.”

“Still, I think it _might_ be a good idea for the two of you to have a joint session-”

“Oh, _hellllllll_ no!” Skye said, reaching for her coffee. “You need to cut back on the espresso shots, they’re making you crazy.”

Robin rolled her eyes and sat back in her armchair. “Fine, have you reconsidered telling him?”

“There is no way in hell I’m telling him about the baby,” Skye insisted, doing her best not to let her sadness overwhelm her. She’d dealt with all of this and yes, she was still angry as fuck and hellbent on revenge, but she wasn’t going to dwell on it. And especially not because of him.

“It might be good for you. If anyone can share in your pain, it’s him.”

Skye shook her head. “Look, I hate him, but I am not going to do that to him.”

“Skye, what are you afraid of?”

That he’d fly off the rails and kill her piece of shit father before she got the chance too.

But she knew better than to admit to that.

“What am I supposed to say to him, Robin?

‘Hey Ward! Guess what? That time we fucked we made a baby and my psycho bio dad kidnapped us and wow, why are you all ragey? Whoops, guess you’re off to commit more murder!’”

Robin gave Skye a ‘look’ but she knew she was right.

“He’ll lose it if I tell him what my dad did to our baby.”

“You should tell someone.”

Not this again.

“I mean it. You can only hold onto all of that for so long. You need to talk about it, out loud. I know you think you’ve dealt with it, but bottling it in isn’t helping anyone. And what are you going to do when Alice gets older and her powers get stronger? The more you keep it in, the more it’s going to try to get out somehow.”

Skye stared down at her cup. “You think her nightmares are because of me?”

“I’m not blaming you but yes. They’re your memories. Obviously your subconscious is trying to force you to deal with it. You could be broadcasting it without realizing it.”

Skye hadn’t thought of that.

Shit.

“Fine, you want to talk about it?”

There was no way in hell she was going to tell Ward, so it was time that the Doc earned her paycheck.

“Let’s talk about how halfway through my pregnancy my mom’s psycho ex decided to kidnap me after almost killing my best friend, then kept me locked in a disgusting basement with the rest of his victims. And not a good basement with concrete, nope, a dirt basement that was more like a cave. And when I wasn’t chained up like an animal, I was strapped down in a medical lab where he spent weeks torturing me to try to turn me into a monster like him, until my body couldn’t take it anymore. Until my baby couldn’t take it anymore. And I went into labor ten weeks early…”

Skye wrapped an arm around her middle, battling the urge to cry.

“She was supposed to be born on New Year’s Day,” Skye whispered, shaking her head. “A damn Capricorn, like her dad.”

She toyed with a loose thread on her sweater before meeting Robin’s eyes.

“I was so weak I couldn’t push. I’d already lost a lot of blood and my body was breaking down and so he uh…cut me open and I thought I was going to die. I didn’t think I could survive a C-section. He’d been cutting me up for weeks and I was sure I would bleed out and I was so scared that if she lived…for a minute I thought it might be better if she died. Because then she wouldn’t have to suffer more.”

Skye exhaled to keep her nausea at bay.

“But he didn’t deliver her. He ‘helped’ me deliver her ‘naturally’ because he wanted me to get the full birthing experience for a child I would never get to raise, like my mother had.”

Skye wiped at her eyes angrily, picturing his face. She couldn’t wait to kill him with her bare hands.

Her rage was paralyzing. She would never allow herself to be powerless like that again.

“I was terrified. That he would push her through too hard and kill her or that the cord would wrap her neck or that she would go too long without oxygen…and then when it was over…there was no crying and…”

Skye buried her face in her hands and a moment later she felt Robin sit next to her and offer her a tissue which Skye shoved away.

“He spent weeks taunting me about my dead baby until I was so numb to it that I just couldn’t feel anything anymore.

That’s when he started using Alice to keep me in line.”

She glanced towards Robin and the look on her face was all Skye needed to know she was doing the right thing. This woman, this trained doctor with all her degrees and training, couldn’t handle Skye’s trauma. No one could. Which was why she was never going to tell Ward about any of this. Not only was he not strong enough, but there was no telling what he would do.

This was her burden and she’d carry this alone for the rest of her life.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**_Today (October 22, 2017)_ **

Skye took several deep breaths to calm herself while wiping the tears from her cheeks. She didn’t need anyone to know she’d been crying. Her family was on her ass enough as it was.

Besides, she could do this. She’d survived worse. What as a little broken heart with everything else going on in her life?

Once she was sure her eyes were longer red, and she could speak without her voice quivering, she poked her head out of the closet. Seeing no one, she slipped out and made her way downstairs.

Crying always took it out of her and what little energy she had was now spent. She ran a hand over her face, exhausted. She needed a long vacation where she could sleep. Maybe Grant would do her a solid and kill her father for her, so she could stop worrying long enough to get a good night’s rest.

_Oh, Skye, you’re a terrible person._

Besides, if anyone was going to kill him, it was her. She’d earned that right.

“So, how was your date with Ward?”

Skye rolled her eyes as she approached her dumbass best friend. “Thanks for that, dick.”

“Always happy to serve,” he teased, following her.

“But you didn’t answer my question.”

Skye sighed, knowing she had to tell him. If she didn’t, he’d go to Ward, and who knew if he could keep his mouth shut.

“It was _fine_. He knows I don’t hate him, but he seems to understand that doesn’t mean I will take him back, which is a good thing.”

“But?”

Damn him, how did he always _know_ things?

“But I may have confused him when I almost kissed him.”

“Girl, you did not.”

Skye groaned, feeling like an idiot. “I know! I’m so _stupid_. I got too close to him and thought, would kissing him be the worst thing in the world? And then I came to my senses and ran off.

But it’s not my fault! It’s hard to think straight around him! His entire energy is just him sending all this love my way and I can’t not feel it!

Literally. I feel everything he feels for me. And it’s not his fault, but I have no idea how to deal with this. I didn’t think he was still in love with me! And I had no idea my stupid empathy powers would kick into overdrive around him.

He really is a bastard,” she huffed in annoyance.

Trip laughed loudly and ruffled her hair. “Damn, girl. I knew you were dickmatized, but I didn’t know it was this bad.”

Skye smacked his arm, offended. “I am _not_!”

“Oh? Did you or did you not tell me he was the best sex you’d ever had?”

“ _Trip_ ,” she hissed, not needing anyone else to overhear that fact.

“Look, I hate the bastard and you deserve better, but I love you, so I’m going to say it: you need to get some. You need dick and not just any dick, _good_ dick. And Ward isn’t going to tell you ‘no’.”

Skye rolled her eyes, but he wasn’t done.

“And I get why you need to lie, and why you go around pretending you don’t love him, but you deserve to be happy. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think he’d make you happy.

I know you don’t need him, or any man, but you want him. And you take care of everyone but yourself. You can’t keep depriving yourself of happiness. It’s not good for you or for Alice. She needs to see her mom having a life because with the way you’re going all she is going to see is you killing yourself for her and that is going to fuck her up emotionally. I watched my mom work two jobs just to keep food on the table and I always felt so guilty and resented the hell out of my dad for leaving.

I know you feel guilty and your life sucks right now, but I just want you to consider being selfish for once. You deserve it.”

He really wanted her to spend her morning sobbing, didn’t he?

“You may be an agent and a mom, and I respect the hell out of you for juggling everything the way you do, but at the end of the day you’re also human. You deserve happiness and to be loved. And the thing is, what you and Ward had was real. He may have lied about a lot of things, but he never lied about how he felt. And we’re spies, our entire business is ambiguity and I believe he let you see as much of the real him as he could without blowing his cover. I know you want to keep her safe, but you need to stop denying yourself love. Because that’s all your doing, Skye. And the thing is I don’t think you have any interest in loving anyone but him. And if that’s the case you should just stop this charade before it goes on for too long.”

Skye stared down at her hands for a long moment before meeting his eyes again. “And what if he I tell him everything and he can’t forgive me?”

“Then he’s an idiot. If you can forgive him for everything he’s done, then he has no reason not to forgive a lie you haven’t even told him.” Omission was a lie, but he had a point. She just had no idea how to tell him.

“There you are,” they rounded a corner to find Robin waiting for her with two cups of coffee.

“Sorry, I got caught up with stuff,” Skye said, grateful for the coffee.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, seeing Skye’s red eyes.

_Dammit._

“Ward,” she whispered, knowing that was enough for her therapist to get it.

“Hmm, well, I have twenty minutes before my next appointment. I know you hate the office, but you’re going to have to sit on the shrink couch for once.”

“Fine, but only because I know there are donuts in that bag.”

Robin chuckled and held it out for Skye who happily took a caked donut, giving half to Trip as they entered the waiting room.

Skye froze at the sight of her dad sitting with Ward. They stared at each other for a long moment before he gave her an awkward smile and looked down at his lap.

Her dad rose, giving Ward’s shoulder a squeeze before coming to kiss the top of her head. “My office when you’re done,” he whispered before taking off.

“What did you do now?” Trip muttered.

Skye shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said honestly as she meandered into the office while Robin brought out a clipboard for Ward.

“Agent Ward? I have these for you to fill out.”

She didn’t hear the rest of their chat because she was already sprawled out on the shrink couch, thinking it might be a good place for a nap.

“Feet,” Robin warned, shoving her foot off her couch.

“You’re a crappy shrink,” Skye complained before sitting up and taking a long sip of her coffee.

“What did Ward do?” She asked, wasting no time.

“His face is stupid.”

“That’s real mature.”

“Shut up. Have you seen him? Those cheekbones are ridiculous. How is a girl supposed to move on when he looks like that?”

Robin shook her head and sat back in her shrink chair.

“So, you’re crying because he’s hot and you want to what? Bang him?”

“Maybe? I could use an orgasm or three,” Skye admitted.

“Sexual release is healthy. Endorphins and all that.”

Skye smirked as she sat back. “Are you telling me to have sex?”

“No, but I do condone a healthy sex life.”

Skye snorted and shook her head. “Well, I don’t think Ward and I having sex would be very healthy.”

“Maybe not, but you could always try couple’s counseling.”

As if.

“Bye, Robin,” Skye warned as she stood. They’d have to continue their banter on another day. Ward needed her more than she did, and she needed to check in on her kid.

“Hey, Skye?” Robin called before Skye opened the door.

Skye glanced back her curiously.

“Are you okay?” She asked seriously.

“No,” Skye admitted. “But I will be.”

And with that she left, sparing Ward only a fleeting glance as she strolled past him.

She was nowhere near okay, but she’d get there eventually.


	14. (Grant) I Know Where to Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the wise words of the beautiful, eternal Carrie Fisher: "It's the most amazing thing to be able to forgive. And so difficult. But relationships are difficult." And that could very well be the summary of this story.

Grant stood in confusion as Skye ran off. He wanted to go after her, but he knew she needed her space. Besides, she was better off without him. She deserved more than he could ever give her, and her sweet little girl deserved a father figure without so much blood on his hands.

But that didn’t stop the aching in his chest.

That almost kiss and the knowledge that she still loved him…

Skye was the love of his life. There had never been anyone before her and there would never be anyone else. When it came to romantic love she was it for him.

And when it came to starting a family…

He was a danger to everyone who loved him. He knew better than to go down that path, not that it stopped him from desiring a family of his own. People to love, to keep safe, and to give the life he’d always wanted for himself. He wanted to give Alice that life. Two parents who loved her and would do anything for her. A real family, like the one he and Skye had been denied. He wasn’t sure about much in life, but he knew that the two of them together could give her everything she could ever want and more. And she had already been through her fair share of trauma. He wanted to be there for her to make sure she would be kept safe, healthy, and happy.

He’d done his share of terrible things, but he was still capable of love. He’d loved his Gramsy, Thomas, Alison, and Kate, he loved the team and Skye, and now he loved that little girl. He didn’t deserve their love, nor did he expect any of them to forgive him, but he desperately wanted them to. He wanted to have a real life and to do it right this time.

And while he would never intentionally bring another life into this world, knowing his family was out there, waiting to get him back for escaping them, Alice already existed; and he was desperate to be her family and to rejoin the family he’d stupidly taken for granted.

Sighing, he trudged out of the room, desperately needing his therapy session.

A few years ago he would have never believed he’d find so much value in a field he thought was a crap but now he couldn’t imagine his life without it. He’d learned so much about himself and come to accept his past in just a short amount of time and he would forever be grateful that Coulson hadn’t given up on him. Without him he wouldn’t have gotten the help he needed and he probably wouldn’t be alive today.

He wished it had been Phil Coulson who had shown up in that detention center and not John. But he couldn’t think about John without feeling immense shame. He knew he’d been young and in need of a parental figure but he still felt so stupid for allowing himself to be brainwashed. Now that he knew how he’d done it he hated himself for not seeing it sooner.

If he had he wouldn’t have lost everyone he loved and who loved him in return.

“Oy, mate, you look lost.”

Grant breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Hunter.

“I have no idea where anything but the food is.”

Hunter threw an arm around him and led him towards the stairs. “That’s the most important thing to know.

So, where are we headed?”

Grant suspected Hunter had been assigned as his babysitter but he wasn’t going to complain. It was better than having May glowering over him. Or worse, Golden Boy Trip lingering around with his perfection reminding Grant of how inadequate he was.

“Therapy.”

“Yes, good! You’ll like the Doc, she doesn’t take anyone’s shit, and she’s not bad to look at,” he teased, as if Grant cared about looking at anyone but Skye.

“So, you’re seeing her too?” He felt better knowing he wasn’t the only broken person on this base.

“Everyone has to, mate. Well, except for May, but you try telling Melinda May to see a shrink.” Grant could only imagine. “But Coulson won’t clear anyone else for duty without it. Well, that’s not true. Daddy’s little girl gets a pass too. I mean, she’s a damn fine agent, don’t get me wrong, but the nepotism is strong. I wish I could get away with half the shit she pulls.”

What was Coulson thinking? After what Skye had been through she shouldn’t be exempt from therapy. He hated the thought of her suffering in silence, not getting the help she needed.

“It’s for the best though. We’re all cooped up here, so we get a little cabin fever. The only time we get to leave is for missions. It’s not safe otherwise. Being fugitives and all.

I think that’s what’s wrong with poor Fitz. He never gets to go in the field so he’s starting to go a bit mad.”

“Jemma seems fine, though.” He didn’t imagine she got to leave either.

“Nah, she had her fill of the real world when she went undercover with Hydra.”

“What?” He yelped, horrified. “She can’t tell a lie to save her life!” Not to mention she was too good of a person to be amongst those monsters. “Has Coulson lost his damn mind?” Well, he had broken Grant out of prison, so maybe.

“Things change and made it out alive. Besides, he sent Bobbi under with her, he’s not an idiot. But they got made, thanks to your old friend Raina. That’s where you come in. You can waltz in there with your douchey demeaner and pick up where they left off.”

“Joy,” Grant replied dryly. He couldn’t wait to see his old Hydra buddies and not punch them in the fucking faces.

They walked down a flight of stairs and turned down a corridor, passing what appeared to be classrooms before heading down another hallway. Hunter led him to a waiting room, but Grant walked past it towards a window overlooking what was clearly a medical office.

“There are other children here?”

He peered in at another waiting room where a few were playing. Past them, through an open door, Fitz was giving Alice a lollipop while Trip sat with the grumpy toddler. Her arms were crossed angrily while Jemma placed a bandage on her forearm, having drawn blood.

His heart sank, and he frowned. Getting poked with needles sucked as an adult but as a kid?

The urge to protect her was so strong he forgot all about Hunter until he started speaking.

“Yes. This is the safest base. The others are tiny, meant to be used for emergencies or the helicarriers. They aren’t really built for living on. Only agents with political ties were pardoned or the ones who defected to other agencies. Stark got his hands on as many as he could but the rest of us who couldn’t get pardons and wanted to avoid prison had to go underground. Coulson didn’t think it was fair for families to be spit up, so they got first dibs on this base. We rebuilt it years ago to accommodate everyone and it’s a good home base for now, but I can’t wait to have my own damn place again. And to not be a bloody fugitive.”

He continued to watch Alice until he caught Fitz scowling at him. He retreated away from the window sadly and made his way back to the waiting room he was meant to be in.

“Is that why I’m here?”

He wasn’t sure how he could really help other than going undercover and by killing Skye’s piece of shit father. He wasn’t a hero, just resourceful with connections.

“Hell no, mate. You’re not that good. We just need enough intel to hand over to the Security Council, so we can take Hydra down. Get them out of power, destroy their bases, arrest their people, and get our lives back.

And they have a lot of our people. Jemma and Bobbi tried to get them back, but they were made before they got very far. I know they’re probably all dead, but we have to try.” 

“They’d be better off dead,” Grant said honestly. “Because if they aren’t it’s because they were tortured into submission and brainwashed. It won’t really be them.”

“Even so, soldiers never leave a man behind. They’re our people and we’ll do our best to save them.”

Grant snorted. “Yeah? Is that Coulson’s excuse for investing in me?”

“You’re still one of ours, Agent Ward, even if you don’t want to be.”

“Checking up on me, sir?” Grant asked, glancing up to find Coulson watching them.

“Just checking to make sure you found your way.”

“I don’t see the need, I’m an excellent tour guide.”

“Of course you are, Lance,” Coulson muttered dismissively, knowing better.

He stepped into the room, taking a seat next to Grant. “I know you can’t see it yet, but you belong here. You lost your way but that doesn’t make you any less of an agent. You put in years of hard work for this agency and when we needed you to come home you did, because you’re one us.”

“That’s not true. Maybe I wasn’t loyal to Hydra, but I wasn’t loyal to SHIELD either. I was only ever loyal to John and I’m only back for Skye, not the agency.”

“Even more proof you belong here. SHIELD is in her blood. This has always been her home.

And I hope that once we put you back to work you’ll finally see your purpose. You’re more than an asset. You’re a good man. Don’t lose sight of that.”

Grant shifted uncomfortably, not sure there was anything he could ever do to make up for his past transgressions. “I think a lot of people would disagree with you, sir.”

Like Fitz, his first real friend since Kate. A friend he’d destroyed while trying to save his life. And his intentions didn’t matter because the outcome of his actions had hurt him in ways that he’d never fully recover from.

He understood Coulson was big on second chances and fixing people but he wasn’t sure he was worthy of his efforts. Not that he wasn’t grateful for his efforts.

“I think you’re giving me more credit than I deserve, sir.”

“He’s not Natasha,” Hunter muttered as he flipped through a magazine.

“Romanoff?” Grant asked, confused.

“Ignore him,” Coulson ordered.

Hunter glanced over at Grant with a smirk, ignoring Coulson.

“When Nat was still with the Russians, taking out all of our best agents, murdering entire families, she was a threat that needed to be eliminated. Nick made the mistake of thinking Clunt-” Coulson shot him a glare and Hunter shrugged dismissively, “sorry, _Clint_ , would be the best man for the job. What he didn’t count on was him being unable to kill her because she was so damn hot.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Coulson muttered.

“Don’t look at me like that, boss; it’s the truth.

Anyway, before Nick could order her to be put down, our boss here fell for those sad, haunted eyes of hers and his damn savior complex kicked in. He talked Nick into letting him and May become her handlers, so they could turn her into an asset. And they worked their magic on her and poof, she’s redeemed.

He thinks he can fix you the way he fixed Nat.

You’re a project, mate. You can thank Skye for that. His baby girl loves you so he’s desperate to save you, for her sake.

I’ve got twenty that you’ll pull a Nat. I enjoy rooting for a lost cause, it keeps life interesting.”

“Gee, thanks for the support, Hunter.”

Coulson pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting off a migraine.

“You’re not a project, Grant, and neither was Natasha.”

“Good, because I am no Natasha Romanoff.”

“No fucking shit,” Hunter whistled, shaking his head. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s nice to look at, but she’s a grade A pain in my arse. I don’t know what I did to piss off Nick, but he put her and Clunt on my damn team and all she ever did was question my authority and do whatever the hell she damn well pleased.”

“That’s because you have no authority,” Coulson said seriously.

“Oy! I have enough! It’s not my fault the woman’s a bloody menace.”

Coulson rolled his eyes. “Hunter, give us a minute.”

“What am I? The bloody help? You can’t just dismiss me.”

Coulson shot him a ‘look’ and Hunter threw his hands up. “Fine, but only because Jemma keeps candy in her office.”

“I mean it,” Coulson said once they were alone. “I believe in you. There is good inside of you. And you can follow the same path that Natasha did. She did so much worse than you ever did, all before she was sixteen. If Clint hadn’t seen something good in her, who knows where she’d be now. She found someone who gave her a chance and now she is not only one of our best agents but she has a life. She’s happy, she’s found a way to live with her past. And she works every day to keep making amends.

People think I’m crazy for believing in you but they thought I was crazy to fight so hard for her. And in the end, I was proven right. I think in the long run I’ll be proven right with you too.”

Before Grant could tell him how much his faith meant to him he felt the air in the room shift.

He knew it was Skye before he looked up. He ignored the butterflies in her stomach and gave her a smile, looking away before he scared her off again.

Therapy had saved his life. He’d resisted hard at the beginning, having been taught that only the weak needed help. His girl was spirited and always rearing for a fight but even she needed help, so he was glad to see her go into the office.

“Agent Ward? I have these for you to fill out.”

“Thanks,” he muttered, taking the clipboard.

“As soon as Agent Coulson leaves you can come right in,” she instructed, disappearing into her office.

He stared at the closed door, wondering how Skye was doing with everything.

He couldn’t even begin to imagine the horrors she must have endured at the hands of her father. He didn’t even want to think about it. Just knowing she’d been hurt was enough to make his blood boil. Skye deserved the world. To be safe and happy and loved, not to be a complete mess like he was.

Grant didn’t relish the idea of ever taking another life, but he’d make an exception in this case.

“Look at him. He’s so bloody in love with her it’s pathetic. You owe me fifty bucks by the way.” Hunter threw himself into a chair, a pink lollipop in his mouth.

Trip rolled his eyes, sitting across from Hunter. “I told you, no one’s taking that damn bet.”

“You really are trying to make money off of my suffering, aren’t you?”

“We all weren’t born with a silver spoon.”

Grant snorted. “Sorry to break it to you but my family disowned me a long time ago.” Not that he would touch their money. He had everything his Gramsy had left him squared away but he’d always lived off of the money he made on his own.

“Damn, I should have started a pool over why Skye was with you. Now that I know it wasn’t for the money it must be because you’re good in bed.”

“I don’t know about that, you’ll have to ask her,” Grant teased.

Hunter winked in his direction and bit into his candy. “Don’t worry, we’ll pretend that’s what it was.”

“You’re a child,” Trip scolded, shaking his head.

“You’re the one sleeping with me,” Hunter reminded him as he took another lollipop out of his pocket.

“Man, give me that.” Trip took the unopened lollipop for himself, much to Hunter’s annoyance.

“Oy! That’s mine!”

“So? Go get another one.”

Hunter groaned and sat back, contemplating whether he wanted to get up or not. “Fine, but only because I’m starving.”

“You just ate!” Trip called after him.

Trip shook his head and stared in Grant’s direction. He waited a moment, making sure Hunter was really gone, before standing and crossing the room.

Grant sighed as Trip hovered over him, knowing abuse was coming, but he was willing to take it.

“I need to get this off my chest if I’m going to play along with Coulson’s whole play nice with you bullshit.

I don’t like you. I don’t trust you. And I don’t care how fucked up your childhood was because we’ve all got bad shit in our lives and it didn’t turn us into cold-blooded killers. Skye is my best friend and you destroyed her. And I am not even going to get into what you did to Fitz.

I’ll go along with this, because unlike you I’m loyal to the people that love me. And for some fucked up reason Skye loves you, and I love her enough to give you a chance. But if you fuck this up I will make sure you pay for it. I’m not going to let you hurt them again.

Most people don’t get second chances, especially when they haven’t earned them. Don’t waste it.”

Grant met his eyes with conviction. “I won’t.”

“She kicked me out without candy. Apparently, they’re ‘only for the children’. Can you believe that?”

Trip shot his not-boyfriend an ‘are you fucking kidding me’ look before shaking his head in disbelief.

“What are you two up to?” Hunter asked suspiciously.

“It seems Ward here is like you: one look at Alice and he’s wrapped around her tiny finger. He was just asking me how to get off-base so he could get the kiddo some presents.”

Hunter scoffed. “Isn’t she spoiled enough?”

“Says the man who bought an entire aisle of the toy store for tomorrow.”

“I don’t see your point. She’s my goddaughter. It’s literally my job to spoil her so she loves me unconditionally even though I’m a human disaster.”

“I was right, you’re a child.”

Hunter waved him off and turned to Grant. “Don’t worry, I’ll put your name on a few; she won’t know the difference.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Anytime, mate. Now, come on, beefcake, I think there’s still leftover pizza.”

“You know you don’t have to eat seven meals a day.”

Grant ignored their bickering as they walked off. Trip had made him realize he did need to give Alice a gift. Sure, he could take Hunter’s offer but he wanted to give her a gift that meant something. Like his old stuffed dog. She seemed to love stuffed animals and he’d taken a lot of comfort from the small object, maybe she would too.

Though, he was sure they’d burned his things a long time ago. Which was too bad, it was the only thing from his childhood he’d bothered to hold on to because it had been a gift from his Gramsy.

He smiled at the memory of her. She, Thomas, and Alison had been the only good people in his family and he missed them. If she hadn’t died maybe things would have turned out differently for the siblings. She’d been the only person who’d tried to keep them safe.

Skye sauntered out of the office and did her best to ignore him, but he caught her steal a glance and he smiled as he strolled into the office and took a seat.

He felt like a teenager, giddy over a bit of flirting. Maybe they could start over?

“Do I want to know what that was about?” The therapist asked, flipping through his file.

“Oh, I don’t think we don’t need to waste time discussing my unhealthy love for Skye.”

She closed his file and sat back in her chair with a smile. “Love isn’t unhealthy, Grant.

Hallucinating being with her was unhealthy, but you only did so because as a coping mechanism you clung to the one person who made you feel safe.”

She was good.

“Is she okay?” He asked, knowing that despite the flirting he’d freaked her out earlier.

“You know I can’t tell you that. But maybe one of these days I can get you both in here to work out your issues.”

He didn’t think Skye would ever be up for that.

“I know,” she said, reading his expression. “But a girl can dream.

Now, let’s get down to business, shall we?

I’m Robin Sousa. You can call me Doc, Doctor, Sousa, Robin, whatever.

You’ve done this new therapist thing too many times to start over so we’re going to pick up where you left off. I’m all caught up on your past sessions and I’m ready to go but I do want you to get comfortable with me. So today let’s just start slow and tomorrow we’ll start daily sessions. I know you weren’t doing that many in prison but being back amongst people, especially people you’ve hurt, has to be overwhelming, so until I’m sure you can handle life here without the crutch of therapy that’s what we’re going to do. Is that okay with you?”

He sighed in relief, knowing he needed the extra attention. “Yes. I’ll do as much work as you want me to.”

“You seem stressed. Has today been that bad?”

“No, actually,” he admitted. “I mean, I knew everyone would have to play nice, because Coulson was making them, but for the most part they’re treating me like a person.

It’s just weird.

Like Jemma. She should hate me. I almost killed Fitz. And her. She has every right to hate me, but she doesn’t.”

“She tried to kill you,” Sousa reminded him.

“Yeah, but I mean we talked it out and she says she forgives me and I believe her. But, then again she’s got a hidden twisted side so this could all be a plot to kill me again when I least expect it.”

Not that he didn’t deserve it but now that the thought crossed his mind he was scared.

“You getting along with anyone else?”

“Hunter. We’re a lot alike. Trained killers. He understands me. It’s nice having someone who gets it. But I miss Fitz. I know he’ll never forgive me and I deserve it but…” he toyed with the tracking ring on his finger. “Aside from Skye I missed him the most,” he admitted.

“May still hates me. Trip too. Coulson’s great. I don’t deserve this second chance. I should have come clean when Skye was shot.”

“You had Stockholm, Grant.”

“I know, but I still feel guilty.

The team was all I ever wanted. A real family. And I was too blind to see it.

I know John took Christian’s place and he conditioned me to be his damn lap dog, but I loved Skye and the team so much. When he tried to have Skye killed I should have told Coulson everything.”

He stared down at his hands, feeling the same cycle of guilt and self-pity he always went through when it came to the subject of the team.

“She has every right to hate me,” he whispered. “But she still loves me,” he was close to tears as he glanced back up at the Doc. “I don’t deserve it. And I need to stay away from her; I know it hurts her to be around me, but how am I supposed to do that knowing she feels the same way I do?

It would be so much easier if she hated me. Then I could keep my distance, and I would be putting her and Alice in danger by being around.”

Sousa’s eyes went wide with surprise and she grabbed her notepad. “Skye told you about Alice?”

“Um…” He blinked in confusion. “Not really? I kind of met her by accident last night.”

“And what was that like for you?”

“Why does that matter?”

“You show up after years away to find the woman you love has a child? You must have feelings about that. You just said you’re afraid of being a danger to her. You just met her, and you’re already concerned for her welfare. You’re clearly affected.”

“She’s a child, of course I care about her. Children are supposed to be kept safe and loved and she wasn’t, was she? Her father is an abusive monster who doesn’t give a damn about her. She’s been through enough and is in enough danger without someone like me coming into her life and making things worse.

And maybe I don’t know her, but I fell in love with her the moment I laid eyes on her. I know it’s stupid but she’s Skye’s. I love Skye. Why wouldn’t I love her kid? I want to keep them both safe. I know I’m not her dad, but I want to be. I’m going to do everything in my power to protect them.”

“But you just said you are a danger. You don’t think you’re worthy of this chance you’ve been given to have a new life.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do my best if Skye let me.

I shouldn’t be anywhere near them, but if she gave me the chance I wouldn’t tell her ‘no’. I’m too selfish to stay away.”

Sousa sighed and shook her head. “Grant, the fact that you care so much about someone you just met is proof that you aren’t selfish. Skye is a grown woman, capable of making her own decisions. If she decides she wants you in her and her child’s life it means she doesn’t believe you’re a danger to them.

And if she decides she wants nothing to do with you it doesn’t make you a danger either, it just means she doesn’t want to take that risk, which is her right.

I hate to break this to you but you’re never going to be cured. You are going to spend the rest of your life working at having a healthy, happy life. Even people who aren’t emotionally damaged have to work at being happy. And you suffered years of emotional, mental, and physical abuse from the people who were supposed to keep you safe. Your parents, John, even your older brother. You don’t just get over that. You learn to accept what they did to you and you work to move on with your life but all that work doesn’t erase what happened. You just learn to live with it.

And you need to stop seeing yourself as a bad person. You were conditioned to do terrible things. Have you been a good man in the past? No. But you can choose to be one.

I don’t want to focus on your past, Grant. I want the work we do here to be for your future. Because, guess what? For the first time in your life you actually have one. I know you haven’t realized that yet, but I hope you do soon, because you can do amazing things if you let yourself.

It’s not going to be easy. You have a lot of amends to make and work to do to rebuild your relationships and earn forgiveness. And not everyone is going to give it you and that’s okay because you’ll know you tried.

That’s all any of us can do; try our best.

I want you to recognize when you’re doing your best because the first person you need to earn forgiveness from is yourself. No one is going to trust you when you’re wallowing in guilt. It’s okay to feel it from time to time but you can’t let it consume you. You need to learn to forgive yourself and I’m going to help you with that.

Now, I can’t tell you what to do when it comes to Skye but let me give you some advice.

She, along with everyone else here, is dealing with her own demons. She has her own work to do and getting back into a relationship with you may not be what’s best for her but if she decides otherwise you shouldn’t question it. Life is too short and you need people in your corner.

She may need time and space. And if that’s the case you shouldn’t take it personally. Just be there for her. That’s how you rebuild trust, by being there for people. Because at the end of that day that is all relationships are; showing up for people when they need you.

As far as Alice goes, it’s up to Skye to decide if you’re a danger to her or not, not you.

But, from what I can see, you really do love them and I don’t believe for a second you would intentionally hurt them.”

He knew she was right about everything but there was still something gnawing at the pit of his stomach.

“And what if Skye lets me into their life and that little girl falls in love with me and starts to depend on me and I relapse and they get hurt because of it?”

“Grant, are you saying you want to die?”

“No! I don’t anymore but the last time I snapped and tried to kill myself I thought I was fine. It just came out of nowhere and what if that happens again? What if it happens and I hurt one of them? Or what if it happens and I die this time and it destroys them? It’s not safe for them to get attached. I’m broken.”

“Grant, that was different. Solitary confinement breaks down your psyche. From what you’re telling me I don’t see any current suicidal ideations.

I know it seemed like your last episode came from nowhere but you weren’t fine, Grant. At that point you were still refusing to really open up in therapy and yes, you’d stopped having the hallucinations but that doesn’t mean you were better. You had just learned to cope with your situation.

And It didn’t simply come from nowhere. You were very sick in there and I think the prospect of spending your life like that, away from the people you’d come to love, was too much for you.

I’m not saying you won’t ever want to kill yourself again but I don’t think you’re at risk for it now. And if I’m wrong and you feel like you want to hurt yourself or someone else you come straight to me. I will help you through it. You’re not alone.”

“I’m still scared,” he admitted.

“And that’s good. It means you want to live. You have an incredible opportunity here to fix things with the people you consider to be your real family. Take it.”

He nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

She gave him a kind smile. “And that is all you can do.

Now, I want to go see Dr. Simmons. Her office is down the hall. She’s typically back in her lab by now but she’s expecting you so she should be there waiting. On my end you’re cleared for duty but you still need to pass a physical and be recertified to carry a firearm. You won’t be allowed back in the field until you get the go-ahead from her.”

He stood and followed her to the door.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I will see you at nine a.m. tomorrow. Good luck.”

He made his way to Jemma’s office and was relieved to find her alone.

Jemma gave him a smile and grabbed a clipboard before leading him towards another hallway. “I know it’s kind of a maze at first but eventually you will learn to get around. Just remember when you’re on this floor to the right is everything having to do with medical and to the left here we’ve got the training rooms down at the end of the hall.”

“What’s down there?” He asked, noticing another staircase.

“The vaults, but I doubt you’ll have the need to go down there again.”

“Unless Trip wins the pool.”

Jemma had the decency to look guilty. “I don’t know who told you, but I will have you know that I have twenty on you getting that thing off within the year,” she said cheerfully, pointing to his ring before turning on the lights to the training facility.

“Jemma, why are you being so nice to me?”

Jemma laid out the equipment she’d brought along and began untangling cords while she shrugged off his question. “I already told you; it’s unhealthy to hold onto anger.”

“I know you did but I don’t know if I believe that’s all it is. Hunter and I, we’re the same, so he understands me. Coulson has his hero complex. And Skye…Skye is too good to openly hate me while she works out her feelings. So those three being nice to me, I understand. It’s you that I can’t wrap my head around. You have every reason to hate me.”

Jemma shook her head as she plugged cords into an EKG machine. “Hate is a prison and I’ve chosen to not cage myself,” she whispered before glancing up at him. “I have hated you, don’t get me wrong. I hated you for years. And when Coulson suggested breaking you out of prison I was so angry at first.

How could Coulson even think about bringing you here when you hurt his daughter. Skye loved you so much. I don’t even think you understood how much. None of us did, until we saw what your betrayal did to her. And she pretends she’s fine and over you but it’s an act. A good act. Most of the time I think even she believes it.

And Fitz is so angry all the time. At himself for not getting better as quickly as he’d like, at you for doing it to him, and at the rest of us for not being physically handicapped. He was even so angry with Dr. Sousa for trying to get him to let go of his anger that he stopped going to therapy.

So, I was angry at Coulson. But Dr. Sousa gave me some perspective.

Every single person here is damaged in some way. We’ve all been through hell and back and yet we’re all still standing. A big part of that is that we aren’t suffering alone with our illnesses because Coulson is amazing and made sure we all had the help we needed. But also because we have each other.

I could have never survived the past four years without my family. And I don’t mean my mum and dad; I love them so much but even if I could tell them about my life, they wouldn’t understand it. But Hunter, Bobbi, Triplett, our team on the bus: that’s my real family. And you’re a part of that family, Ward.

Yes, you made _many_ mistakes and you hurt us but you’re still a part of this family. No matter what Skye or Fitz might think, I don’t believe for a second all of that was a lie. That man who played board games with us and burned cookies trying to make Fitz happy when he missed home and who told _terrible_ puns is the real you.

You don’t abandon family, Ward. And you’re sick, maybe more than the rest of us. You’ve started getting better by getting help and I’m so proud of you for that but you can only do so much on your own. You need people to stand with you and be on your side, so I’m going to be the first.

And while I’m glad you and Hunter are getting along he isn’t stable enough to be your support system. So, for now, I’m your person. Got it? I know you’d rather it be Skye but until she has less on her plate and figures out how to feel about you, you’re stuck with me.”

“There are worse people I could be stuck with,” Grant whispered, close to tears.

She smiled. “You saved my life once and I’m going to repay that debt by helping you get yours back.”

“Jemma, you don’t owe me anything. If it wasn’t for me, Fitz-”

“I believe you when you say you were trying to save us, Ward. That pod shouldn’t have sunk. You can’t continue to feel guilty about that. If you hadn’t gotten us off the bus, he would have killed us both, and you.”

Grant pulled her into a hug. “You’re too good of a person.”

“I know, it’s what makes me so irresistible,” she teased, playfully pushing him away. “Now, take off your shirt.”

“Jemma, I appreciate our renewed friendship but I’m a one-woman kind of man and that woman is still Skye-”

“Oh hush,” Jemma scolded, her cheeks red. “I need to put these on you, jackass.” She held up the electrodes with a scowl and he chuckled with a shake of his head and did as he was told. Jemma looked him over, her expression morphing into one of worry.

“I’m fine.”

“You are not fine. You’re malnourished, you’ve lost a lot of muscle, and I’m not sure you’re ready for this test. Maybe we should get you back into the gym and on a new diet for a few weeks before we even think about running these.”

He didn’t have a few weeks. The kiddo was in danger now.

“No! Let’s do these! I worked out in my cell. I may be skinnier but I can still do this.”

Jemma narrowed her gaze before attaching the cold, sticky electrodes to his chest harshly. He did his best not to wince, she was stronger than she looked, but she still caught him and gave him a smug smile.

“On the treadmill! Let’s see how not fine you are,” Jemma ordered.

“When I pass this physical, you owe me a beer,” he insisted with a smile.

“It’s a good thing we’re out,” Jemma muttered with a smirk.


	15. (Skye) Overprotective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beauties. Those who are knew here already know the drill but for my loyal, returning readers: this bad girl has been rewritten. We have new chapters, scenes, and the existing material has been moved around and improved. I will be updating on Friday, but I could be persuaded to update on Wednesday if there is demand for it. This is my NaNoWriMo novel this year, so there will be frequent updates. Thanks for sticking with this story and I promise you’ll be rewarded. Please enjoy my love child, leave reviews, and share with your friends.

“What’s up, old man?” Skye poked her head into her dad’s office, where he sat at his desk, still on the phone. He motioned for her to sit on the couch as he continued his conversation.

“It’s fine, Maria. Of course. I’ll let her know. She’s three, she’s not going to remember. No, Tony cannot send her a pony; Melinda will murder me.”

Skye snorted into her coffee. “Tell her I said ‘hi’.”

He nodded. “Yes, that’s Skye. Maria says ‘hi’ too.

Give me ten minutes and we’ll get on a conference call with the board.

Bye.”

He hung up and Skye could see the vein in his temple throbbing.

“What’s up, boss?”

He groaned as he ran a hand over his face. “Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“Skye,” he warned, shaking his head. Stretching, he stood and made his way to the couch where he took a seat next to Skye. He studied her face for a long moment before taking her hand.

“I saw you were upset earlier, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just tired.”

“Now who’s the liar?”

Skye sighed. She couldn’t tell him the truth, that she was a mess over Ward. She knew how he’d react if he knew the truth, that she was still in love with him and her inner turmoil was driving her insane. She knew he meant well and he just wanted to see his girls happy, but she didn’t need him meddling in her complicated love life.

“Is this about what happened earlier? I warned you this would happen. She’s just a baby, she doesn’t know any better.”

“I know,” Skye whispered, relieved he seemed to think her mood was about Alice’s little slip-up.

“It’s not too late to tell him,” he offered.

“Dad,” Skye groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Can you not?”

“All you have to do is sit him down with Alice and-”

“ _No_ ,” Skye hissed. “This is my life and you do not get to dictate what I do with _my_ child.” Sure, now that she’d been around him and knew he wouldn’t hurt her she’d considered that maybe keeping him in the dark wasn’t a good idea, but she wasn’t ready to share that with her dad yet. Not until she figured out what she was going to do. “You were right about Ward, I’ll give you that, but your little stunt with his file made it very clear that I made the right decision to not tell him I was pregnant.

His family is dangerous; just another thing for me to worry about.”

“Skye-”

“Dad, please. It’s taking everything in me not to run. It’s bad enough we have my dad and Hydra and the goddamn government to worry about, now there’s the threat of his family finding out about her?” The only reason she was still here was for her mother. She would have gone on the run a long time ago if it wasn’t for her.

“But I know you want-”

“What I want doesn’t matter.” Skye was close to tears. Why did he have to push her so hard on this issue?

“You’re already in danger. He loves you, and no matter how much you push him away it doesn’t change that fact. For all you know, his family already knows about you. You cannot keep using her as an excuse to not be happy.

I am your father and I know what you need and what you need is to start living your life.”

“No, you’re not my father,” Skye whispered harshly. “If you were, none of this would have happened. You and mom would have raised me, and I probably would have met Ward in time for it to have made a difference.”

“Skye…” Coulson’s voice broke. “If it were up to me you’d be mine. You don’t get to blame me for that.”

“I don’t,” Skye whispered, wiping at her eyes. “But you need to stop trying to meddle. The truth is she’s always going to be in danger. Once my father is taken care of, there’ll always be the threat of her powers being discovered and her being locked up or worse, used by Hydra.

It doesn’t matter how I feel about Ward. She’s the only thing that matters, dad. Nothing else.”

Skye took his hand and met his eyes. “I know you like to believe things will work out. That I’ll forgive Ward and we’ll be this happy family and that’ll protect us. But it won’t. And it won’t change what happened to our baby.

You mean well, but what I need from you is to just love us and help me keep her safe. And I know what you really want is to protect me, but I’m not a little girl anymore. The time for you to be my overbearing dad passed a long time ago. And it’s not your fault you weren’t there to raise me, but you are here to help me raise your granddaughter. That’s what I need; not him. Just you and mom and Alice.”

“You deserve more.”

“I know,” Skye whispered sadly. “But when it comes to him I need more time. And for things to be safer for her. Maybe someday your fantasy for me can come true, but someday is not in the foreseeable future.”

He wrapped her up in a hug and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Skye. I know I’m overbearing but I lost twenty-five years with you. I forget I can’t just make up for it.”

Skye held onto him far longer than necessary, feeling guilty that she’d hurt his feelings. When she finally pulled away, she gave him a sad smile.

“You’re meeting with the board?”

Stark Security was the real-world façade for SHIELD. Tony had funneled millions into rebuilding SHIELD under the guise of starting his own organization partnered with the Avengers, but the election had fucked up SHIELD’s plans to go public. Now there were dozens of buildings sitting empty, agents still stuck in underground bases like this one, waiting for Hydra to be exposed so SHIELD could rise again. The board was nothing more than the higher-ups sharing intelligence and moving agents around for their safety.

“Sir?” Trip stood in the doorway. “Commander Hill’s on the monitors in the conference room. She says to hurry your ass up because Tony’s about to have a stroke. He’s convinced if he’s away from Pepper for more than ten minutes she’ll go into labor and he’ll miss it.”

“And he makes fun of me for being an overprotective dad,” he grumbled, kissing Skye’s forehead as he stood. “Insufferable pain the in the ass.” He continued grumbling insults as he disappeared down the hallway.

Trip plopped down next to Skye and took her hands with a smile. “You look stressed.”

Skye shook her head. “No, not today.”

“ _Especially_ today. You need this. Close your eyes.” She hated when he did this for her, but he was right; she needed this if she was going to get through the next few days. And her baby girl _needed_ her to get through the next few days.

Skye closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then another. And another. Once she felt relaxed she opened herself up and allowed the waves of calm to wash over her. Trip squeezed her hand, letting her know she could take more but Skye cut off their connection. She refused to siphon more than she needed to. She hated having to take someone else’s energy but sometimes she had no choice and Trip was strong enough to lend some.

The problem with her powers weren’t just that she felt everything so strongly or felt the emotions of everyone around her. It was that their emotions drained her. She had to work so hard to block everyone out just to get through the day and that was on top of dealing with everything else in her life. Work, her child, the PTSD…Her abilities were a huge inconvenience.

“Thank you,” she whispered, feeling a lot better.

Trip looked a bit weaker but if she’d taken too much he didn’t show it. He squeezed her hands again with a sigh before reaching up to touch her cheek.

“You can do this,” he insisted, giving her a smile. “You’re a Rockstar.”

Skye smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder, grateful to have him back home, even if it was only for a few days.

“I hope so,” she whispered, not sure believed it.


	16. (Grant) I Have the Will to Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grant Douglas Ward is so tiny and dumb and precious and sometimes it hurts me.

An hour later he was cursing Jemma.

Sure, he wasn’t in the shape he used to be in, but he hadn’t expected to be this bad. He’d worked out in his cell, but the lack of real training equipment and crappy prison food had done a number on his formerly perfect physique.

He felt like a weakling, and a failure. Jesus-fucking-Christ; was this was normal people felt like?

“I knew you weren’t ready,” Jemma scolded, marking his results on her clipboard while peering at him with disapproval. “You’re not going anywhere near the field.”

“Come on, Jemma! Skye needs me-”

“Skye needs for you to not get killed during your first mission back.” Her tone was firm, and he knew better than to argue further with her.

“I’m putting you on a _strict_ diet: high protein, high calorie, l _ots_ of fish.

And I don’t just need you to put on weight, you need to rebuild your muscle mass which is going to take _time_ ,” she emphasized, causing him to roll her eyes. They didn’t have time. And he didn’t have the patience.

“Don’t look at me like that; you’re going to do this right or not at all. I’ll happily have you assigned to a desk.”

He frowned, thinking that sounded worse than prison.

“I’m going to get Hunter to put you through STRIKE’s hell week training. My cousin is a drunken idiot, but he’s a damn good soldier. You couldn’t be in better hands.”

That wasn’t true. May or Romanoff would be best, but he supposed Hunter was the next best thing, and the only one willing to work with him.

“Fine.”

“After your therapy session tomorrow meet me upstairs in the firing range for your firearms test. If you pass, you’ll spend the rest of the day training, if not I’ll get Trip to work with you until you do. I don’t want you unable to defend yourself while you get back in shape, so I need you armed. It’ll be an ICER, but it’s better than nothing.”

He nodded, trying not to smirk at her ‘mom’ tone. She was adorable when she bossed people around.

“Starting Tuesday your days will consist of eating, therapy, eating, training, eating, training, and sleep. Understood?”

“I want to start today.”

Jemma smiled “While I appreciate your enthusiasm, you need some rest and a good meal. No offense, but you look like shit.”

“Thanks, Jemma,” he replied dryly.

“I want you getting seven hours a night. I can prescribe you something if you need help sleeping,” she offered with a sad smile. “I know once we get you back out on the field a regular sleeping schedule is out of the question but until then I need you to take care of yourself, okay?”

He sighed, knowing sleep would be hard to come by, even with the physical exertion and earplugs to drown out Hunter. “I’ll take that prescription, then.” He didn’t want to take any chances. He’d do anything Jemma told him to do if it meant he could get close to being in the shape he was in before; physically and mentally. He needed to be ready to jump into action at a moment’s notice. He wouldn’t be able to keep Skye or Alice safe otherwise.

Jemma leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for taking this seriously,” she whispered.

“You’re right, I can’t keep them safe if I’m dead,” he shrugged.

Now it was Jemma’s turn to roll her eyes. “Go get some lunch. Try to make it a big one,” she instructed as she put away her monitors. “The boys are making a supply run later, I’ll have them get more sleeping pills.” She looked him over, worry lining her features. “But try to get a nap in before dinner? You look like you need it.”

“Anything for my favorite doctor,” he teased with a smile. It was nice, having someone care again. It had been a long time.

“Yes, well, I’m glad my overachieving ways are finally useful. I mean, I just had to go get an MD on top of my PhDs to show off and one-up Fitz,” she said, shaking her head. “And now I get to take care of germy children every morning. Yay me,” she cheered sarcastically.

Poor Jemma. She ran the lab which was stressful enough but being the base physician on top of it? He was sure they didn’t have much of a choice, but he still felt sorry for her.

“Well, I promise to be your best patient.”

“You’d better be, because those brats aren’t strong competition.”

“Come on, they can’t be that bad,” he insisted with a smile. “They’re so tiny and cute and innocent.”

Jemma led him towards the kitchen with a chuckle. “Kids are only cute when they’re yours, not when they’re screaming as you’re holding them down to give them a flu shot because their damn parents can handle being spies but not controlling their own demon spawns.”

“Alice wasn’t screaming earlier.” Sure, she’d been grumpy, but who wouldn’t be?

“That child is a miracle. She’s intelligent and polite and knows better than to throw a fit. It’s why she’s the only child I like,” she said, then after a moment added, “and Dimitri. Shit, don’t tell Natasha Alice is my favorite.”

He wasn’t sure when he’d see Romanoff, so he just nodded with a small smile.

When they entered the kitchen, Hunter sat at the table, still eating. Not only was there a box of leftover pizza in front of him, but he’d polished off a bag of chips and what appeared to be a plate of cookies, judging by the crumbs.

“Don’t give me that judgmental look, Jemma; I’m a growing boy.”

Jemma rolled her eyes and stole his slice of pizza off his plate, to his protest.

“Bye, boys,” she teased, kissing Hunter’s cheek before walking off. “Play nice,” she called with a wave.

“Bloody menace,” he muttered, staring at his empty plate. He glanced at the last slice longingly for a moment before offering it to Grant, who took it happily. He was starving.

“Thanks,” he said as he took a seat. He could tell Hunter sharing food meant he really liked him. But instead of teasing him about it he had important business to attend to. Business he hoped Jemma didn’t find out about.

“I need your help with something, but you can’t tell Jemma.”

“Whatever it is, I’m in. Damn pizza thief.”

Grant smiled and polished off his slice before continuing. “I need to get back into training, _now_. If you can spare some time today, I could use a sparring partner. I need to see where my muscle memory is so I know what I need to focus on. I can’t wait until Tuesday.”

“Yes!” Hunter jumped up in excitement. “Let’s go! I’m so bloody bored, mate, and I’m going to wipe the mats with you.”

Grant followed him with a frown. He was out of shape, sure, but he could still take Hunter.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Okay, so _maybe_ he’d underestimated Hunter.

Grant lay sprawled out on the mat, pissed off. His ego was as bruised as his ass, there were other bruises forming everywhere else that he couldn’t ignore, and he felt out of breath.

It was official: he was useless.

How had it come to this? He’d once been the perfect physical specimen and now he was no better than a fat toddler.

Coulson had grossly overestimated his ability to be an asset. If Grant couldn’t even best Hunter in a boxing match how was he going to handle the field?

“Don’t pout, Ward. Anyone would be out of shape after living in a cell for years.”

“I’m not just anyone,” he whined as he allowed Hunter to help him to his feet.

“You’re a big baby,” Hunter said seriously, handing him a bottle of water.

“Am not-oh shut up!” He argued, throwing a towel at Hunter’s smug face.

Hunter chuckled and took a long drink of water.

Grant hated feeling like this. He swore he’d never be physically weak again. That he’d never be incapable of protecting the people he loved again. Being useful in a fight was his greatest strength and now…

“Come on, mate. You look like I just killed your dog.”

Grant frowned, remembering Buddy.

_No_ , now was not the time.

He sighed and took a seat, taking a long drink before placing the bottle on the back of his neck to cool off.

“It’s not you. It’s me. They used to compare me to Romanoff, you know? And now I’m no better than Steve Rogers was before they pumped him full of that superhuman serum.”

He glanced over at him sadly. “Hunter, how am I supposed to be there for Skye when the time comes if I can’t even beat you in a fight?”

Hunter clapped him on the shoulder and met his eyes seriously. “You’re more than just a workhorse here to kick arse, Ward. You have a lot of information on how Hydra operates, where their bases are, who their members are. You will get back in shape but that isn’t the only reason we need you. You heard Coulson: what we need is to bring down Hydra, so we can get our lives back.

Sure, Skye’s batshit crazy sperm donor might show again, and we do need to take him and his Cult down, but that’s not your job.

What Skye needs is to not be a damn fugitive anymore.

Imagine what giving Alice a normal life would mean for Skye. No more hiding, no more being kept a secret. Being able to go to school, live in a house, have pets, friends. That’s the life she wants to give her, not this. And getting SHIELD to be a legitimate agency again is going to give her that.

That’s what you should be focusing on. I know being trained to kick ass was a big part of your job, but you’re also a damn good spy, Ward. We need spy Ward more than we need assassin Ward.

You give Skye her life back and you just might get her back,” he offered, finishing up his water.

“And you’ve got to stop putting all this pressure on yourself. You’ve been out of prison for a day. Give yourself some time. Now, if in six months you’re still piss poor in a fight, then we’ll have issues.”

Grant smiled, feeling a bit better. He wasn’t going to stop being hard on himself, but the encouragement helped. As did the hope that he could do some real good, not just for Skye, but for everyone he loved. 

“Thanks, man.”

“Anytime, mate.

I should start an inspirational podcast.”

Grant laughed with a shake of his head as he clapped Hunter on the back.

“Ready for a real lunch?” Having your ass handed to you really worked up your appetite. And maybe he could manage to get in that nap he’d promised Jemma.

“Yes, I’m starving,” Hunter said seriously.

Grant laughed and shook his head. Hunter was something else.


	17. (Grant) I’ll Be Better

Grant sat on the edge of his bed, toying with a ring of keys. There hadn’t been many possessions on him when he’d been arrested, but thankfully Coulson had kept them anyway and returned them to him this morning.

“So, Hunter, I’ve been thinking,” he began.

“That sounds dangerous.”

Grant ignored him and continued. “We’re in Virginia? Outside of Langley, I’m guessing?”

Hunter stopped tapping his pen on his desk and turned to stare at Grant, brow raised. “How did you know that?”

“Best place to hide spies is in plain sight.” And he’d paid attention on the ride here.

Hunter narrowed his eyes with a smile. “And here you thought you were only good for your body.”

Grant rolled his eyes.

“I’ve got a safety deposit box in one of the old banks in DC. I need it cleared out, but I can’t exactly do it myself,” he said, holding up his hand. “Coulson’s got me chipped like a damn dog.”

“What’s so important you can’t wait until he lets you out to play to get?”

Grant sighed, not wanting to tell him. “Does it matter?”

Hunter shrugged and turned back to his desk, no longer interested.

“Talk to the boss.”

“Fine,” he growled under his breath. He already knew Coulson would say ‘no’. “I’ve got personal possessions in that box, along with the deed and keys to my cabin, trust fund certificates, and all my cash.”

“And why do you need them so badly?” Hunter asked, staring at him with suspicion.

Grant was beginning to see why Coulson always looked ready to murder Hunter.

“There’s something in there I want Alice to have. Well, a few things. And the rest I put away for Skye. In case we ever needed to run. I know it’s a last resort, but I still want her to have a way to start over if she needs to.”

“So, you want me to go to the capital, waltz into a very public place, and get you a box of crap?”

“Yes?” Grant knew it was a lot to ask but he didn’t really have anyone else.

“You do know she’s a spy, right? She has her own go stashes; she doesn’t need one of yours.”

Grant pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “Yes, but there’s enough money put away for her there to last her and Alice the rest of their lives. Okay? I sold everything. It’s all there for her. I never got a chance to give it to her. And I’m not stupid enough to think this fight with Hydra and her father is a fight is a fight we’re guaranteed to win.”

“Why would you do something so fucking stupid? Are you telling me that’s your only stash? What if you had to go on the run?”

Sure, maybe he was a _little_ crazy, but not for this.

Hunter crossed his arms and stared at him, waiting for an explanation.

Grant sighed, knowing he needed to work on this showing vulnerability and opening up to people thing, but he knew it was going to sound really stupid.

Then again, this was Hunter, so if anyone would understand it would be him.

“I never planned on running unless it was with her.”

Hunter sighed. “You wanted out?”

Grant nodded. “I loved being an agent, but-”

“You fell in love.”

Grant smiled with a shrug. He knew Hunter would get it.

“Skye is brilliant,” he bragged with a small smile. “I knew from her first mission she’d be a damn good agent.” He thought back to their early days on the bus, when she’d just been his pain in the ass rookie, and felt pride swell in his chest. “She had a smart mouth and this way of getting under my skin, but she had the _look_ , the one that said she would do whatever it took to survive.

I didn’t know what to make of her at first. Here was this tiny, scrappy little thing, who never backed down from a fight but was still the most empathetic person I had ever met.

It never made sense to me, how someone who had grown up the way she had was able to find so much joy in the little things.

But, she also had this viciousness lurking beneath the surface, ready to erupt when needed. She was so _good_ , but she had the potential to be deadly if she needed to be. She could smile in a way that left you weak one moment then destroy a man in the next.

It was one hell of a turn on.

And she’s smart as hell. That girl can do anything she puts her mind to. She drove me crazy but every time she made a step forward in her training, I was so proud,” he whispered, staring down at his hands. “She was just my rookie then, but I would still fantasize that when she earned her badge we’d be partners and travel the world together: fighting and fucking, but then…”

Memories flashed through his mind, leaving his fists clenched. Skye should never have been in the line of fire that day. The image of her bleeding to death on that dirty floor was burned into his memory, as was the way it’d made him feel. He’d never been so terrified in his entire life.

“Ward?”

He glanced up, eyes wet.

“Skye almost died,” he said quietly, his anger boiling beneath the surface.

“And I lost it.

None of us gets into this without understanding the risks. This job is dangerous, and I always expected to die in the field, and I honestly never really cared. Not until it was the woman I loved fighting for her life.

Skye was the one who made me realize I wanted more from this life. She made me want a future and a family and I couldn’t bear even considering living life without her.

I fell in love with her the first day I met her. I couldn’t let her see it but when she sassed me, I wanted to throw her down and fuck her right there in that interrogation room. Then she handed me my ass and I was done for. I never stood a chance.

And I know now she loved me too.

I don’t know if I just was too stupid to see it or if I just thought I didn’t deserve to be loved but it took me a long time to get my head out of my ass and decide to do something about it.”

He jingled the keys in his hands to have something to do as he fought back tears.

“I was stupid enough to think if I just helped John get that drug to save his life my debt to him would be repaid and I would finally be free to live my own life. I was going to tell her how I felt, and we’d have the perfect life and family.

I didn’t realize until after, when it all started falling apart, that he would have just used her to control me by hurting her.”

Or threatening to, as he had in Cuba.

Grant pinched the bridge of his nose. John wasn’t worth feeling this way.

“I didn’t want to confess my love to her while she was recovering, but I did make moves in case she decided she wanted to leave SHIELD. I sold everything except my cabin, I put all my money into trusts for her so if anything happened to me she’d be taken care of, and...” He sighed. Hunter didn’t need to know that last part.

“Look, I know Skye is a badass and she can take care of herself. I just wanted her to have the freedom to do whatever she wanted to do with her life. And now that she has Alice, having a way to escape is even more important. And with me being hunted by every federal agency, I need those things to be somewhere safe for her. And if something does happen, I need you to make sure she gets everything, in case I can’t.” All the accounts were in his last name, but she was good at forging identities; she’d get the money no problem.

“Of course, mate. I’d do anything for those two.”

“Me too,” Grant admitted.

“And we could wait but my grandmother’s things are in the box too and there’s something I want Alice to have,” he said with a shrug. “And I do owe her a birthday present.”

“Dammit, Ward. You make it hard for people to hate you.”

Grant made a face. He wasn’t so sure about that one.

“This is a horrible idea, there are probably federal agents casing that joint for you.” Grant’s stomach fell. “But, damn if it doesn’t sound fun to tempt fate.”

Grant smiled. “Thanks, I owe you one.”

“Oh, you have no idea how much.”


	18. (Skye) We Need More Time to Heal

“I’m not going to break, Antoine,” Skye said, feeling his eyes on her. It was sweet that he was so worried, but Skye needed to power through the next twenty-four hours without being reminded that she was a mess who was likely to have an emotional breakdown. One complete mental breakdown was enough for a lifetime. Besides, she did not have the time for that shit. Maybe in fifteen years when her kid was eighteen and she was free to take a mental health break.

Oh, who was she kidding? Alice could be a hundred and Skye would still feel the need to protect her from the world.

Trip wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed the top of her head. “It’s okay if you do. There’s plenty of people willing to help glue you back together.”

Skye leaned into him with a smile. She’d always wanted a big brother just like him growing up, and she was so grateful to have him now and for Alice to have him as an uncle.

“I fell apart on her once,” Skye whispered, close to tears. “It’s bad enough she just has one parent, she deserves a parent who’s whole.”

“You deserve to take a break every now and then, Skye.”

“Alice needs me more than I need a break.”

Trip gave her a tight squeeze. “I know,” he whispered as he kissed her temple before releasing her. “And when we get that bastard, you’re taking a vacation.”

Skye chuckled, using her sleeve to wipe at her eyes. “Yeah? I’ve always wanted to go to Puerto Rico. Or Paris,” she teased, using her worst French accent. “Or go back to Dublin,” she whispered with a sigh, lustful for any sort of travel.

She ignored the aching in her chest. Dublin brought up painful memories of Ward and the staff and all of the things that could have been if either one of them had been braver that night.

“We could do all of those things,” Trip insisted, giving her his best smile.

“I’m sure Alice wouldn’t mind going to Disneyland.” Even though she’d lived in Los Angeles for years, she’d never been. It was too depressing, going to the happiest place on earth and seeing all the happy families. It was stupid, but just the thought of going just reminded her that her family had thrown her away and she’d vowed to never go until she had her own family to share the joy with. Of course, now she had a family and they were trapped. Once she got the chance, she was going to do everything with her baby girl that she knew her parents would have done with her had they been given the chance.

Skye struggled with hanging her streamers and wrinkled her nose in frustration.

“Here, let me,” Trip offered, taking the tangled mess from her hands.

“About time, tall person,” Skye scolded.

“Hush,” he teased, patting the top of her head before hanging them effortlessly, no chair or cursing needed.

Skye glowered at him for a moment before abandoning him to lay out the Mulan tablecloths Alice had demanded.

 _“Mulan looks like lăolao!”_ Alice had insisted. And she wasn’t wrong. They were both hot warrior women and if Alice was going to worship a princess, Skye was glad it was her own personal favorite Disney princess. They hadn’t had much in the orphanage, but Skye had worn out that VHS tape.

“Sweetheart?”

Skye glanced over her shoulder with a smile. “Hi daddy.” She still felt bad about how mean she’d been earlier. She knew he meant well and she needed to give him a pass sometimes. Yes, he did the most sometimes, but she’d always wanted a dad like him growing up, so what if she’d gotten him two decades too late? He loved her and that’s what mattered.

“Trip, there are some gifts in my office, would you mind bringing them in? I’m not as young as I look,” he teased, and Skye tried not to roll her eyes. He was such a nerd. Why couldn’t he just ask for a minute alone with his daughter instead of sending Trip off on an errand?

“Good idea, between Hunter and Jemma there’s an entire toy store to be hauled in here; better get started or come tomorrow night they still won’t be done.”

“Yes, because that’s what she needs; more crap,” Skye teased. While it was true they could be a bit extra when her birthday rolled around, Skye didn’t mind the extra spoiling. Skye felt It wasn’t easy being forced to live the way they did, especially for a toddler. Going out like this helped assuage Skye’s guilt over not being able to give Alice a better life.

“Shouldn’t have made her so cute.” Trip teased with a wink in her direction as he sauntered off.

Skye shook her head in amusement and glanced up to find her dad staring at her sadly.

“Daddy? What is it?”

“This is for you,” he offered, holding out a small, wrapped package.

Skye took it hesitantly, narrowing her brow in confusion. Fiddling with the purple ribbon, she glanced up at him. “What’s this for?”

“I missed twenty-five birthdays,” he said awkwardly, toying with his tie. “I’m still trying to make up for them,” he admitted quietly.

She stared down at the gift, trying not to cry. “But it’s not _my_ birthday.”

“The day you were born was the happiest day of my life,” he sighed. He stared down at her, but she could see he was lost in his memories. After a moment he blinked, his focus returning to her, and his eyes filled with tears. “You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen,” he admitted, taking her chin in his hand. “I couldn’t take my eyes off you even for a second. It drove your mom crazy.”

A pain formed and spread through her chest. It killed her that no matter how much he loved her, that monster was the one responsible for her existence and not him.

“Daddy, I’m sorry about earlier,” Skye whispered, close to tears.

Ignoring her, he kept going. “You were perfect. And strong, like your mother. I fell in love instantly.

I decided to be your dad the night your mom showed up at my door, soaking wet in the rain, sobbing as she told me about you; but I didn’t really become your dad until that moment. It’s like everything fell into place. We were meant to be a family.

The moment they put you in my arms was the best moment of my life.

Skye couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “Daddy,” she whispered, throwing her arms around him.

He cradled her head to his chest and kissed the top of her head. “Every time they tried to take you out of my arms, you turned into the angriest little thing I’d ever seen in my life. And I put up with your mother’s pregnancy mood swings,” he teased. Skye couldn’t help but chuckle. She could only imagine how bad those had been if her own were any indication.

“It’s like you knew we didn’t have much time together,” he said quietly, kissing her temple. Skye pulled away and wiped at her nose with a sniffle. “All those years, when we thought you were dead, I at least had that memory to hold onto. I don’t think I would have survived without it.”

Skye sniffled again and wiped at her eyes, trying not to cry even more.

“You didn’t get to hold her. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be to have been robbed of that experience. And it breaks my heart to see you killing yourself trying to keep it together for Alice every year. You went through something horrible and you’re allowed to feel your pain. You’re allowed to mourn. You deserve to take care of yourself sometimes, Skye.”

She sobbed loudly as he pulled her into a hug. Skye buried her face in his neck and cried loudly, not caring who heard her. Phil Coulson was the best dad anyone could ask for and it wasn’t fair that he wasn’t her father. Their lives would be so much better if he was.

“Let it out, angel,” he whispered, rubbing her back gently.

“I’m going to kill him, daddy,” she whispered angrily.

“Not if I do first.”

Skye broke away from her dad to find her mom standing there looking ready to go off and do just that.

“If anyone has earned that privilege, it’s me,” Skye muttered, wiping her cheeks dry.

“Enough talk about killing people. Open it,” Coulson insisted, motioning to Skye’s gift.

Skye rolled her eyes. “You really don’t have to do this, dad,” Skye muttered as she untied the ribbon. She set it to the side and laid the box on the table as she lifted the lid. Once she saw what was inside tears filled her eyes again.

“Dad…” she glanced up to find him giving her a smile.

Skye pulled out a framed picture she’d never seen before. It was of the three of them in the hospital. “Is this…”

“The day you were born. I had it restored. Your Grandma Julie took that,” he whispered sadly. His mother had died not long after Skye had been taken and he’d never gotten over either loss.

Skye threw her arms around him tightly. “Thank you, daddy.”

She didn’t have many things from their brief time together. When they had formed the team, her parents had sold most of their possessions and kept the important things, like mementos, in the May family attic. Her grandmother was slowly smuggling them things to give to her, but Skye thought it best to keep the majority of it where it was and safe. But she was always grateful for each new glimpse into the life she should have had.

“Melinda?”

“I’m sorry,” her mom muttered as she left the room. She’d only caught a glimpse of her mother’s tears, but they were enough for her dad to go chasing after her.

She sighed and sat at a bench, staring down at the picture. She traced her own image, tears coming to her eyes.

Alice would never have a keepsake like this. There was not a single picture of her as a newborn. The first picture they’d taken of her was after they’d been rescued, when she was six weeks old.

Fucking Cal. Thanks to him her parents had missed out on Skye’s entire life and Skye had missed the beginning of Alice’s.

He was a dead man.

“Where do you want-baby girl, you okay?”

Skye glanced up to find Trip juggling a pile of gifts in his arms. She wiped at her eyes and carefully put the picture away before hopping to her feet to help him.

“Are these all from my parents?” Skye asked, horrified at the number of gifts in his arms. Sure, she was all about spoiling her kid, but this was too much.

Trip laughed. “No, these are just from your dad. And the ones I could carry. There’s still another big one left.”

Skye shook her head. Maybe the first few months of her kid’s life had been trash, but the team sure as hell was making up for it now.

“All for me?”

Skye turned to find her princess in Bobbi’s arms, staring down at her already large pile of presents, eyes wide.

“Yes, but no opening them until tomorrow,” Skye teased as she scooped her out of Bobbi’s arms and into her own, kissing her cheeks.

“A lot, mama.”

Oh, she had no idea.

Skye glanced at the clock, it was nearly dinnertime and she still had dozens of cupcakes to make.

She sighed. Today was never going to end, was it?

“Who wants spaghetti for dinner?” She offered, knowing it was the easiest thing to put together.

“Me!” Alice announced excitedly. “I help!”

Skye carried her towards the kitchen with a smile. “You’re such a good girl, my handy helper.”

“Yup,” she nodded happily.

“I’ll help too,” Trip offered, following. “And we can get started on the cake after.”

“Here, I’ll chop, you grab pans,” Bobbi ordered, reaching into the pantry for ingredients. “And I think between the three of us we can handle a few cupcakes.”

“Cake time!” Alice clapped happily.

“No, not until tomorrow!” Skye teased, tickling her as she sat her down on the counter.

“You promise early cake,” Alice reminded her.

Damn, why was her kid a genius?

“How about this?” Skye bopped her on the nose with a smile. “You can have one before bed? We still need to make them.”

“Okay, mama.” She kicked her feet happily as Trip ruffled her curls and gave her the important task of holding the three boxes of pasta.

She gave him a grateful smile. She wasn’t sure she could do this all on her own and having them all around was a huge help. She was glad he’d be around more often.

Now all she needed to do was find a way to get Bobbi and Mack back home full-time and everything would be as close to perfect as they could get-for now.


	19. (Grant) I Will Make It Up to You

Grant stood sleepily in the shower, regretting his nap. He’d slept too long and now he felt worse than he had when he’d laid down. He no longer had a sense of time, his entire body felt like static on those old TVs, and he was still exhausted. He’d hoped the water would help but he was this close to lying in the tub and going right back to sleep.

He shut off the tap and quickly dried up and changed. He stared at his disgusting beard in the mirror, knowing he’d have to do something about it, and his hair, soon. He wasn’t going to help his reputation of being a killer looking like the goddamn Unabomber.

Grant swung by the kitchen and made himself the strongest cup of coffee possible before heading over to Jemma’s lab. He hoped she was alone. He didn’t want to be the cause of a fight between her and Fitz. He didn’t want to be the cause of anything when it came to Fitz. He needed to find time to talk to him, to apologize, but he didn’t want to force it on him. Maybe the Doc could help him arrange it.

Grant turned a corner and nearly knocked Jemma over.

“Oh, shit! Are you okay?” He asked, fussing over her as he helped her stay upright. He wasn’t sure he could forgive himself if he ever hurt her. He’d done that enough for a lifetime.

Jemma shook her head, wiping at her eyes. “I’m fine. I just wasn’t paying attention.”

He hadn’t even noticed she’d been crying and his stomach fell. “Jem, you’re not fine. What happened?”

She looked around and shook her head, motioning for him to follow her. She led him past the doors to the labs and towards her research office. Once they were inside she shut the door and went to her desk, sitting on the edge and using her sleeves to wipe at her eyes.

“I’m fine, Ward. It’s sweet that you’re worried, but I don’t need it.”

“The hell you don’t, Jemma. I almost trampled you.”

She chuckled. “You’re not that strong anymore.”

“You’re still that short.”

“Oh, hush.”

Grant sat in one of her chairs and was now eye-level with her. “Jemma, you can talk to me. Who am I going to tell?”

She sighed and reached out to pat his hand. “It’s not that, it’s just…I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, but if you change your mind-”

“Oy, there you are. You owe me a bloody vacation, mate-What the hell did he do this time?” Hunter asked angrily, setting down the bag he was carrying and shoving past Ward to touch Jemma’s tear-stained cheek and inspect her puffy eyes.

“I’m fine, don’t start.”

“No, you are not fine. I don’t care how bloody damaged Fitz is, he doesn’t get to treat you like shit, Jemma. I’m giving him a-”

“No, you’re not! My relationship is none of your business. Do you see me interfering with your weird love triangle? No. What Fitz needs is time and patience right now, not for you to attack him.”

“No, what he needs is to stop taking his bad moods out on you. It’s my job to keep you safe. I know you like to pretend you can do it all on your own, but you can’t. You’ve been through too much and you’re too busy taking care of everyone else to take care of yourself. Just because you want to give him a pass to treat you like crap doesn’t mean I’m going to.”

“Says the man who treats Bobbi like the devil!”

“That is different, and you know it!”

“No, it isn’t! You need to forgive her already! And Fitz is the way he is because he almost died to save my life! His frustrations are not his fault. And this is not me making excuses for him, he is in a lot more pain that he lets on to the rest of you and I can handle his mood swings.”

“Yeah, you’ve been handling them really well lately. Is that why you’ve been sleeping in Trip’s room instead of your own?”

“Okay, let’s calm down,” Grant interrupted, putting himself between the two of them. Sure, this was none of his business, but Jemma looked ready to kill Hunter and at the very least a full-blown screaming match was about to erupt, and Hunter wasn’t the only one feeling protective of Jemma. He wasn’t going to sit back and let someone else make her cry, not on his watch.

“Piss off, mate,” Hunter warned.

“I will not. She’s a grown-ass woman, capable of fighting her own battles.

And Jemma, he’s your actual family, of course he’s worried about you. Do you know how lucky you both are to get to see each other every day? Even before all of this, most of us never got to see our families. Do you think they do now? Hell, I’d give anything to see my brother or sister again. Don’t take that for granted.”

Jemma glared at him, but she wasn’t yelling so he took it as a good sign.

“Fine, but this isn’t over. I warned that little prick what I would do to him if he ever hurt you when you started shagging him and I meant every word.”

Jemma turned to him with a scowl. “Oh, I am going to shove my foot so far up your arse-”

“Hey, Hunter! How did our little mission go?” He figured the best way to keep these two from going for each other’s throats was to keep them occupied with something else. “And why do I owe you a vacation?” He didn’t know how he’d pay for it, since his money was all technically Skye’s now, but maybe she’d give him a loan to make it work.

Hunter shot Jemma a glare as he grabbed the duffle bag and set it on her desk.

“The bloody feds were there. Your dipshit brother, the senator, has been all over the telly milking your escape for publicity. I’m going to wager he’s not the one you miss?”

Grant rolled his eyes. “I figured that son-of-a-bitch would pull that shit.” Predictable Christian.

“How were you able to slip past them?”

“With these.” Hunter smirked and held up his own set of keys before tossing Grant his. “Unlike you, I still have my stashes and lucky for you, I’m also into using those old banks with their lax security.” Using a corporate bank was a surefire way to be spotted on surveillance. “Cleaned mine out along with yours, just in case they checked,” he said, taking out a bunch of cash and passports and setting them aside before sliding the bag to Grant. “Too bad we can’t get pizza delivery, eh?” Hunter teased, fanning himself with his money. “Now, what in the bloody hell did you need so badly?”

Grant shook his head and began taking items out. A photo album from when his Gramsy had been a young woman, the paperwork for the accounts he’d put in Skye’s name, the deed to the cabin, also in Skye’s name, the keys to said cabin, a box with a locket inside, and-

“Paw-Paw!” He cried out happily, squishing his old dog against his chest. Sure, he needed to be run through the machine, but he was still intact and just as snuggly. Alice was going to love him.

“Aww, Ward, he’s precious,” Jemma cooed.

“Paw-Paw?” Hunter tried not to laugh.

“I was two!” Grant said defensively. “Do you think he’ll survive the washer, Jem? I don’t want to give him to Alice like this.”

Jemma squealed and covered her mouth, about to cry. “That is the sweetest gift ever. Don’t worry, leave him with me and I’ll get him cleaned up.”

“Thanks, Jemma,” he said with a smile before searching through the empty bag.

Panic set in when he realized it was missing. “No, no, no,” he muttered, patting every pocket and possible corner it could be hiding in. He held the bag up and shook it, but nothing came out.

“Ward, what’s wrong?” Hunter asked as Grant took deep breaths, trying not to freak out.

“There’s supposed to be a purple box with an engagement ring, where is it?”

Hunter and Jemma shared a ‘what the fuck’ look before Jemma took the bag and searched it, coming up empty.

“Are you sure you put it in the deposit box? Maybe it was on the bus….oh.”

His stomach fell. If it was left on the bus it was long gone. All because he’d been stupid enough to take his grandmother’s engagement ring and have it engraved because he was feeling manic after Skye didn’t die, as if she would have actually said yes to a marriage proposal back then. And now she’d never have the damn ring because it was gone.

“You bought her a bloody engagement ring?” Hunter asked incredulously.

“No!” That would have been crazier than what he’d actually done. “It was my grandmother’s. The stone was missing, and I always planned to replace it and then when Skye got shot I um…” Okay, yeah, he was crazy. “I just wanted it ready in case the time ever came, and I was going to put in the deposit box when we stopped at the Triskelion but then-fuck! I can’t even remember the last time I saw it. My grandmother’s turning over in her grave right now. Oh, shit.”

“Oh…Grant…” Jemma wrapped an arm around him. “We’ll find it. I’m sure it was left on the bus. We’ll search it up and down until we find it. We never got around to repairing it, so nothing’s been removed except our own things that we cleared out of there. I bet it’s still in your room, with the rest of your things.”

“I doubt my things are still in there. Someone would have burned them by now.”

“He has a point. Sorry mate,” Hunter said, finally speaking.

“No,” Jemma whispered with a small smile. “When Coulson tried to box up your things Skye threw a huge fit and threw everyone off the bus. We never asked her about it afterward, but she started wearing your clothes after that. I can’t say with one hundred percent certainty she still has your things, but I do know she had them at some point.”

“Ah yes, Skye’s crazy, emotional, my boyfriend is a traitor, depression phase. I remember those days fondly,” Hunter teased dryly.

Jemma gave him a mean side-eye before turning back to Grant.

“Ignore him. I know Skye; if she doesn’t still have your things then she put them away somewhere,” Jemma insisted, pushing back some of his hair and giving him a small smile. “Skye is too sentimental to have burned them or thrown them away. Your grandmother’s ring is somewhere on this base. We’ll get it back.”

“Just don’t mention the part where you were planning to propose to her before your first real date when you ask for it back,” Hunter offered.

“I was not going to-” He groaned. Great, they were never going to let him live this down.

“It’s cool, mate. I married Bobbi after a week, then divorced her when I found out she’d been lying to me our entire marriage, then married her again. We all do stupid shit for love, mate.”

Jemma shook her head with a sigh. “He has a point. Though it would be nice if you idiot men would just tell us how you felt before doing stupid shit. Like, don’t tell me you love me before nearly drowning to save my life or in the middle of shagging for the first time while the rest of us are off saving Coulson’s girlfriend and you’re planning to kidnap her.” She shot Grant a knowing smirk and he groaned, covering his face.

“In my defense I didn’t think I was ever going to see her again and I had no plans to kidnap her but when John called and threatened to kill her if I didn’t, he didn’t leave me much choice.”

“You’re still a bloody coward. You could have told her at any time. Just like Fitz; he had fifteen bloody years to tell me how he felt but instead he does it right before blowing a bloody hole in that pod and then he went on to stay in a bloody coma for six months, leaving me alone with that knowledge and guilt.

Just like you could have stayed with Skye in that bar in Dublin and told her how you felt, or you could have told her when she didn’t die, or when she finally got sick of waiting for you to make a move and kissed you.

Hunter may be an idiot but at least when he’s in love with someone he just fucking says it. Even if doesn’t always work out for him.”

“Hey!”

Jemma had a point. He could have told her a million times. That night in Dublin, after he’d been fighting his feelings for so long, he finally realized that she understood him, and he didn’t want to hide how he felt anymore. He’d been fighting the urge to go to her and tell her he loved her when May had given him an opportunity to take his cover even deeper and being the coward that he was he took the easy route.

“Shit, I am a coward,” Grant muttered. He should have stayed and had that drink and then taken Skye to bed instead of her-Oh fuck! He’d had sex with her mother. She was never going to take him back.

“I still can’t believe you freaked out because she got shot and bought her an engagement ring.”

“I did not buy her an engagement ring! I just fixed the one I already had that my grandmother made me swear I would only give to ‘the one’,” he said lamely.

“Still should have asked her on a bloody date first,” Hunter said, reaching for a half-eaten chocolate bar on Jemma’s desk before she slapped his hand away.

“So, what was your plan, exactly?” Jemma asked, curious.

“To tell her when she was out of the med-pod. Not that she didn’t know.” Okay, maybe she hadn’t. He thought the whole never leaving her bedside and killing a man for threatening her thing had been a clue, but she had been surprised when he confessed he loved her so maybe they were both idiots.

“But then fucking Steve Rogers outed Hydra which kind of fucked up my plans to run away with her.”

Jemma kissed his cheek with a smile before resting her head on his shoulder and patting the top of his head. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Thanks for the reminder, Jemma.”

He sighed and reached for the box with his Gramsy’s locket in it, handing it to Jemma. “I need a favor.”

“This one is all about favors today.”

“It’s for Alice,” he replied tersely, shooting Hunter a glare.

“It’s not a favor if it’s for her,” Jemma offered. “I’d do anything for that little monkey.”

When Grant finished telling Jemma his plan her eyes were filled with tears and she gave him a bear-hug. “Of course, I’ll get right on it. And this locket is lovely, your grandmother had excellent taste.”

“Dammit, Ward, you and your romantic bullshit are making the rest of us look bad.”

Jemma smacked his shoulder. “Try harder then.” She hopped off of her desk and gathered the locket and Paw-Paw into her arms.

“I’ll get started on this tonight and get this little guy cleaned up in the morning. Goodnight, boys,” she said cheerily as she left them for the engineering lab.

Hunter stared after Jemma, eyes narrowed, with a concerned look on his face. “I’ll see you later, mate. She has some explaining to do.”

Grant watched him run after Jemma and shook his head as he packed up his things.

He locked Jemma’s office behind him before making him way through the maze that was the different labs and offices. He wasn’t sure if he’d turned down the right hallway to the kitchen when a tiny human threw herself around his legs.

“Well, hello there princess,” he said with a smile as he glanced down at a giggling Alice. “Where are you running off to?”

“Mama says it’s bedtime but I no want to sleep! Shh!” She pressed a finger to her lips and he chuckled, sure poor Skye was not amused by this.

He knew he wasn’t supposed to be this close to her, but she didn’t seem to be having any weird visions, so he scooped her up and carried her towards the kitchen, so he could get her back to her mom safely.

“Come on, I’ll help you hide from her,” he lied.

“That presents for me?” She asked curiously, looking at his bag.

He laughed and shook his head. “No, presents for your mama. But it’s our secret, okay? I want her to be surprised.”

Alice made a show of zipping her lips and he was reminded of how innocent Thomas had been as a child. Before everything…

“Alice Linn W-Oh, there you are,” Skye said in relief, covering her heart with hand and letting out a sigh.

“I found a runaway,” Grant said with a smile, setting her down, glad his little trip down memory lane hadn’t affected the little one. He fully understood Skye’s worry. His mind was a dark, dangerous place that no child needed to peek into.

“Thank you.” Skye scooped up the toddler and stared her down with a frown. “What have I told you about running off?”

“No do it?”

“And yet you still do it.”

“Sowwy?”

Alice batted her eyes and Skye shook her head in resignation before kissing her forehead. “The next time you do it no pancakes for a week!”

The little girl gasped and shoved her bottom lip out, wibbling it.

“Yeah, that doesn’t work on me. Only on your grandpa and uncles.”

Skye met his eyes and he forgot how to breathe for a moment. “Thank you again. I do not have the time today to chase her around this base.”

“Anything for you,” he said stupidly before realizing how lame he sounded. “I mean….um…anytime.”

Skye smiled, and they stood giving each other a lingering stare for far too long before Alice interrupted their awkward moment of eye-fucking.

“Time for cake, mama!”

Skye turned her attention back to Alice and poked her nose. “You already had a cupcake. It’s time for you to get some sleep.”

Alice groaned loudly but Skye was not having any of it. “Don’t start with me, miss.”

The baby pouted but Skye ignored her and turned her attentions to Grant.

“You missed dinner.”

His ears went red as he realized how late it was. “I slept through it,” he admitted sheepishly.

Skye smiled and toyed with Alice’s hair. “Good, I thought you were hiding from me.”

“I’d never hide from you.”

He mentally slapped himself. Why did he keep opening his mouth?

Skye did her best not to laugh and held the baby closer. “Well, I saved you a plate anyway. I hid it in the oven, but I can’t guarantee Hunter didn’t find it anyway.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, feeling all kinds of tingly at her bothering to think of him at all.

“You’re welcome.

Baby, say bye to Mister Grant and thank him for finding you before you hurt yourself.”

“Bye, bye Mista Gwant. Phank you!” She said with a sweet smile.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, unable to not smile as he watched them leave.

Alice poked her head over Skye’s shoulder and waved and he waved back, feeling confident he was leaving his precious Paw-Paw in good hands. Only someone that precious was worthy of his favorite toy.


	20. (Skye) I’m Only Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review if you’re enjoying yourself. I would also like to recommend telling any authors whose work you enjoyed this past year that you’ve enjoyed their work, even if you have already. It was a very hard year in which to create things and hearing encouragement really refills the tank for us writers.

Skye stood at the sink with a smile, glad Ward had not only eaten the extra-large serving of spaghetti she’d left him but that he’d cleaned up after himself. His roommate never bothered to do that, and he ate more than all of them combined. She reached for mixing bowl, sick of pancakes, but knowing it was all her little monkey would want on her special day. Maybe she’d grab the waffle iron while she was at it, make herself something special. After all, didn’t the mother of the birthday girl deserve a treat too?

She hummed to herself, mixing batters, and pulling out ingredients from the fridge as she went. She usually loathed her days to make breakfast, but today she was in a good mood. She’d managed to sleep for five whole hours last night. It was a damn miracle.

“Morning.”

She glanced up to find Ward smiling at her from the coffee maker and she smiled back, her mood getting better by the second.

“Need help?” He offered.

“Sure,” she shrugged. “That entire package of bacon isn’t going to fry itself.”

She caught him blushing which made her blush and she shook her head. Flirting with him was stupid but she couldn’t help it; she’d missed this. She’d helped him in the kitchen on the bus all the time and this felt familiar and-She sighed. Right. It felt right.

“So, when did you learn to cook?” Ward teased as he watched her take the last bit of the pancake batter and turn it into a waffle batter.

Skye rolled her eyes. “Come on, I wasn’t _that_ bad.”

“You started a _fire_ boiling _water_.”

Skye flicked some batter at him with a half-hearted scowl. “I will have you know my mom taught me to cook while I was-” Skye caught herself and cleared her throat. “Um, while I was-”

“Getting over you,” Trip finished, grabbing a piece of bacon before plopping down at the table.

Skye stared down at the floor, ears burning. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but she didn’t need them all constantly reminding Ward, and her, how badly he’d broken her heart.

“Skye,” Ward whispered, and she shook her head.

“It’s fine.”

He reached for her hand, but she pulled away and poured the batter into the waffle maker, unable to look at him.

“It’s a good thing too, there was no way in hell any wife of mine wasn’t going to be a good cook.”

Skye rolled her eyes and shot him a glare. “You’re an ass.”

“You’re a terrible undercover wife. We got made after two hours.”

Only because of her morning sickness.

Ward smiled and pulled out the last of the bacon. “That sounds entertaining.”

“Oh, it was, especially when she threw up when I tried to kiss her.

Sorry, Ward.”

“For what? We’ve all had to do the undercover op as a married couple. It’s like a rite of passage.”

“Aww, Ward, remember when we got to be fake married for a whole three days,” Bobbi teased, appearing from behind him to grab the coffee grounds. “You were so awkward every time we had to hold hands.” She pinched his cheek and Ward’s entire face went beet red.

“Every time you _what_?” Hunter squawked from the doorway.

Bobbi rolled her eyes, but it didn’t stop Hunter from storming over and within seconds they were fighting about it.

“Do those two ever stop bickering?” Ward muttered, having escaped the warzone.

Skye snorted. “Only when they’re fucking, and something tells me not even then.”

“You’re a child,” Bobbi scolded, taking a seat while Hunter continued to pout.

“You are my _wife_ , Barbara! You’re supposed to tell me these things.”

Skye rolled her eyes. “Jesus Christ. I’m going to stab him with this fork,” she muttered before Ward took it from her.

“Let’s not; too many witnesses.”

She met his eyes with a grin.

“I missed you,” she admitted before she could stop herself.

“Why don’t you two go argue about this in Bobbi’s room and stop annoying the rest of us,” Trip snapped, making both Skye and Ward jump in surprise.

Skye had only ever seen him lose his cool once, but she didn’t blame him. He was more than overdue for it. How could he not when his boyfriend was still in love with his ex-wife?

“Oy, Trip, come on-”

“Morning, mama!” Alice greeted as she ran into the kitchen and threw herself around Skye’s legs.

“Morning, princess. Happy birthday.”

“You made lăolao mad,” she warned.

“What? How? I haven’t even seen her today.”

She turned to find Melinda May, standing with arms crossed, furious, while her dad cowered behind her guiltily.

Skye stared at him for a long moment, trying to figure out why in the hell her mom would be mad. When she couldn’t think of anything she shrugged and picked up the baby.

“I got nothing.”

“Sweetheart, just know that I love you more than anything in this world-”

“What about me, papa?” Alice asked, pouting with a bat of her eyes.

Phil Coulson, Director of SHIELD, visibly melted. “Princess, of course I love you the most too. You and your mommy are tied.”

Melinda shot him a glare and he winced, still cowering before his ex-wife.

“Your mother and I were talking, and I may have accidentally told her about our tiny, nothing of a fight-”

“You told on me!” Was he insane? Skye had completely forgotten about their fight but now that he’d run and told her mom, they were going to have to rehash it. When would she catch a fucking break?

“I did not tell on you, sweetheart, it just slipped…”

“Barbara, take your goddaughter please. The rest of you, _leave_.” Her mother warned.

Bobbi did not have to be told twice. Melinda May had been her first S.O. and she knew better.

“Come on, sweetheart, knowing your godfather there’s a present for you to open early.”

“But, mama,” Alice pouted, reaching back for Skye.

“Go with Auntie Bobbi, baby. This won’t take long.”

“Come on, idiot,” Hunter muttered, yanking Ward away from Skye. She hadn’t even noticed him flanking her protectively from behind.

She tried not to smile at the thought. Now was not the time to deal with whatever flirtation they had going on. Or for his feelings for her. That would be dealt with after a large bottle of tequila.

“Go,” she nodded in his direction when he stubbornly stood in the doorway. He gave her a sad look before letting Hunter and Trip pull him away. Once she was alone with her parents she tried to think of a joke to break the tension but didn’t dare because _wow_. Was it possible for someone to literally have steam coming out of their ears?

“Don’t you dare think you can threaten to leave every time you don’t get your way, Margaret.”

Oh, she was already middle-naming her, this was _bad_.

“Mom-” she began but Melinda May was having none of it.

“Skye Margaret Coulson, you don’t talk back to me when I’m speaking,” she warned.

_Oh shit_.

Skye met her dad’s eyes and even he looked surprised at how pissed his ex-wife was.

“Just because Phil isn’t your biological father doesn’t mean you can disrespect him. He was there for everything: every doctor visit, every midnight craving, every kick, _everything_. And when you were born you became the love of his life. He would die for you. That bastard may have made you, but Phil is your father and he’s the one who loves you so don’t you ever pull that ‘you’re not my father’ crap with him again.”

“I’m sorry,” Skye whispered, voice breaking, but her mom still wasn’t done yelling.

“And if you think you can just take off with _my_ grandchild…”

She sent Skye the sternest look she’d ever seen, and Skye cowered like a small child. Phil wrapped a protective arm around her, but she could feel his fear too. Her mom was fucking scary when she was this pissed off. Hell, she was scary to begin with but when she was angry enough to yell?

“I gave you life,” she hissed, shaking now. “And I have lost you _twice_. I am not doing it again. If you even tried to pull that shit with me I would hunt you down so fast you wouldn’t even have a chance to blink, do you understand me?”

“Yes, but-”

“Don’t,” Phil warned but Skye didn’t listen.

The last thing Skye every wanted to do was hurt her parents, but when it came to Alice there wasn’t anything Skye wouldn’t do to keep her safe.

“Alice is _mine_ , mom,” she said, voice shaking. “If leaving is what it takes to keep her safe then I’ll do it. You can’t stop me from doing what’s best for her.” She’d spent her entire life running and the only reason she’d stayed put this long was because of her mother. She didn’t want to lose her again either, or break their hearts by leaving, but Alice was the most important person in her life. She’d do anything for her and her little bean came first.

“Your mother is just afraid of losing you again,” her dad whispered, and Skye found herself battling tears.

“I know that, and I don’t want to lose either one of you but if he comes for her-”

“Then you take her and Ward and run like hell.”

“Phil,” her mother warned.

“ _No_ , Melinda. He already found them. It’s why Ward is here. He could come for her anytime. I’d rather have our daughter and granddaughter on the run than back with him. Or worse.”

She knew to him worse meant death, but Skye would take death over being back in another torture palace.

Melinda May shook her head, arms still crossed firmly. “I’ll kill him if he tries.”

“Good, someone should,” Phil said seriously. “But until he’s dealt with, we need backup plans.”

“That’s why you keep pushing Ward on me,” Skye whispered, shaking her head. It wasn’t because he was a hopeless romantic or because he was trying to rewrite his own history vicariously through them but because he needed Ward to be willing to go on the run with them as their personal bodyguard. And the sad part was he’d do it without complaint.

Skye rubbed at her chest, her heart suddenly aching. She knew Ward loved her so much he’d risk his life for her. And the truth was she loved him too. Maybe she should entertain the idea of taking him back. At least, as a friend? She couldn’t ask him to go through all of this for Alice while keeping him out of their lives. Sure, maybe she wasn’t entirely sure how she felt or if she could forgive everything, but maybe she was willing to try?

A whine left her body as she felt a headache form. This was all too much and too soon. A few days ago, she hadn’t even been willing to speak to him and now she was thinking about taking him back?

She needed more time to sort through her own feelings, apart from the ones she could feel from him.

Maybe her favorite witch could help her with this later.

“Your dad thinks he’s slick but he’s predictable,” her mom scolded, and he pouted.

“Melinda, they love each other and they have-”

“Am I interrupting?” Fitz asked awkwardly from the doorway.

“Of course not,” Skye said, putting the rest of the food on the table and taking a seat. She was done with arguments on this day. She just wanted to eat her waffle in peace.

“We’ll discuss this later, Margaret.” Her mom warned, and Skye rolled her eyes.

“Uh huh,” she muttered, shoving a piece of bacon into her mouth before moaning quietly. People could shit on Ward all they wanted but damn did he know how to fry up a crispy piece of bacon.

Speaking of Ward…she began making his plate before anyone else could poach her extra waffle. It was his reward for helping make breakfast.

Fitz took a seat across from Skye, his plate already piled high. She smiled, always happy to see him eating. She knew it was ridiculous, but she felt protective of him. Truth was, she felt responsible for him because she felt responsible for Ward and the only reason she hadn’t waltzed down to the vaults three and a half years ago and told him about the baby was because he’d hurt Fitz. When it came to Grant Ward she was willing to forgive a lot, but Fitz was the one thing she hadn’t been willing to forgive. And she still wasn’t entirely sure that hadn’t been a mistake.

Her stomach turned. Why was this all so messy?

“Morning!” Jemma called cheerfully as she settled down besides Fitz. She pressed a kiss to his cheek before wiping syrup off his face with her thumb. “You’re worse than the baby, Leopold,” she playfully scolded.

“Am not,” Fitz muttered through a mouthful of eggs.

Jemma rolled her eyes and Skye chuckled, glad today seemed to be one of the days they were getting along.

“Fitz, the food isn’t going anywhere.” Skye teased as he kept shoveling it into his mouth.

“It will once Hunter gets here,” he complained.

Okay, he had a point there.

“Is it safe to return?” Hunter called, as if summoned. By Satan, probably.

Melinda gripped her fork in annoyance as Phil called it was.

The trio of boys entered, followed by Bobbi and the baby, who was dressed in a new flower crown. _Oh, Hunter._ Skye shook her head. He was too much sometimes.

“I look pretty, mama!” Alice announced as Bobbi handed her over.

“You always look pretty, baby,” she said, kissing her cheek before setting her down.

“Sit,” she ordered while getting the baby’s plate ready.

Ward hesitated, having stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Fitz.

She knew the tension in the room was thick, but she fought hard to shove it away. Their bullshit was not ruining today. She’d been having a perfectly lovely morning that had already been ruined and no one was going to ruin things for her baby girl on her special day.

“I should go um…” Ward began but Skye glanced up at him with a glare that rivaled her mother’s.

“Grant Douglas Ward, you sit your ass down,” she ordered, motioning to the spot next to her.

He was smart enough to slink over like the coward he was and sit down, keeping his eyes down and away from Fitz’s. When Fitz attempted to get up, Jemma grabbed him so hard there would be bruises later.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” She warned.

“We’re going to have a nice, civilized family breakfast,” Skye demanded, staring pointedly at Fitz. “Does anyone have a problem with that?” When no one was brave enough to challenge her, she smiled. “Good.”

She shoved another piece of bacon in her mouth and slid her free hand over Ward’s knee, giving it a squeeze. The poor boy was vibrating with nerves and he calmed down immediately with a little help from Skye’s powers.

He glanced in her direction with a smile and Skye motioned towards his waffle. “Better eat that before it gets soggy.”

“Thanks.”

“Oy, why does he get a waffle?” Hunter complained.

“Because, he washes dishes and helps cook.”

“Only because he wants to get lai-” Bobbi, Jemma, Melinda, and Skye all shot him a ‘look’. “I mean, fine. Whatever.”

“Can I have some, mama?”

Skye glanced down at Alice, surprised. She’d tried to get her to try waffles before, but she’d refused. Just the thought of not having to make pancakes every damn day was enough to make Skye want to dance.

“Here you go,” Skye said, cutting her a few small pieces.

Alice took a bite and sat there for a long moment, trying to decide how she felt about this new food.

“It’s like a crunchy pancake,” she said finally, shrugging. “It’s okay.”

Skye sighed. There would be no break from pancakes in her near-future.

“They’re your mom’s favorite,” Ward offered. “But these are missing the whipped cream.”

Skye smiled. He remembered.

“Really, mama?”

Skye nodded.

“Then how come mama never makes?”

Skye bopped her nose with a smirk. “Because _someone_ loves pancakes.”

“Oh. Well, you can make waffles if you want, mama. They taste good too.”

What a little angel.

“Thank you.

Now finish your pancakes, princess.”

Alice eagerly dug in and Skye ignored the daggers Fitz shot her way. She could feel his disapproval at her treating Ward like a person but right now she didn’t care. She hadn’t had a proper appetite in she didn’t even know how long, and she was going to enjoy it. 


	21. (Skye) And I Crash and I Break Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

“Soooooo,” Hunter began, attempting to fill the awkward silence that had fallen over the group. When it became clear he had nothing to follow it up with, Bobbi came to his rescue.

“Do you guys want to see what I found for the baby shower?” She cooed, pulling out her phone. “It is the cutest little dress. Can you believe they make these for the tiny humans?”

Jemma squealed in delight right in Fitz’s ear, making him wince. Skye leaned across the table to find a picture of a baby model wearing a Captain America dress.

She felt herself melt. “Aww.” It was the most adorable thing and she tried not to pout. She’d never gotten to play dress-up with her baby like this. And she’d never get the chance again. While there would be plenty of babies in her future, none of them would be hers, only her nieces and nephews and while that was enough, she couldn’t help but feel sad at the thought.

“Tony is going to lose his shit,” Skye smirked. “There is no way in hell he’s going to let his daughter wear that.”

“Oh, I know, but Pepper will,” Bobbi teased with a shit-eating grin.

“I knew I raised you right,” Melinda said proudly.

“You know, I’m pretty sure I have a picture of Skye in one of those somewhere,” Phil said, reminiscing.

“I threw it out,” Melinda scowled. Skye knew she wasn’t serious, but he still looked scandalized at the thought.

“Mama,” Alice whispered, making a face. “Papa no go make me wear that because of cousin, right?”

Skye did her best not to laugh and kissed the top of her head. “Don’t worry, baby girl; I won’t let him do that to you,” Skye whispered, suddenly worried and horrified at the thought that this might inspire him to do just that.

“You would look very pretty,” Ward said quietly, giving the baby a smile.

“I know, but I’m a princess. I’m too little to be a superhero. Mama says I have to wait until I’m big like her.”

“Jesus, she’s adorable,” he muttered.

“Tell me about it,” Skye smiled, staring down at her messy little monkey who was now covered in pancake bits with syrup all over her face.

Skye dipped her napkin in some water and began wiping off the sticky mess, much to Alice’s chagrin.

“Mama, I can do!”

“No, you cannot.” She appreciated her kiddo’s independent spirit, but she was still a baby, and Skye was even more stubborn that she was.

“Here, let me get that,” Ward offered, gathering their empty plates.

“You don’t have to do that,” Skye insisted, appreciating the gesture.

“You did most of the cooking, I can do the clean-up.”

Amazing, a man who didn’t have to be told to clean. No wonder she was still in love with him.

“Well, if you insist,” she shrugged, meeting his eyes with a smile.

He smiled back, and Skye found herself getting lost in those damn beautiful eyes of his again.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Fitz complained loudly.

Before Skye could go off on him, her mini-me did it for her.

“Bad word, Uncle Fitz!” Alice scolded, putting her hands on her hips and glaring in his direction.

Skye glanced down, impressed.

“Say sowwy,” she ordered, crossing her arms.

“I’m sorry, but your mommy is being an idiot.”

“You no be mean to _my_ mama!”

“Fitz, don’t even start,” Jemma warned, giving him a look that could kill a braver man. And while Fitz was plenty brave, he was smart enough to cower before her.

“Fine, but when this blows up in her face again, I’m not going to be there while she’s crying over him.”

Skye threw her napkin down. These people had no fucking filter. How many times were they going to shame poor Ward over _her_ broken heart and bring up _her_ pain. She was going to start bringing up their shit every chance she got to see how they liked it.

Alice ‘harrumphed’ loudly before climbing into Skye’s lap. She wrapped her arms around her neck and met her eyes stubbornly. “No listen to Uncle Fitz. Mister Gwant loves us mama,” she whispered conspiratorially, and Skye found herself melting under another pair of beautiful brown eyes.

Skye was glad Ward was across the room doing his best to hang his head while washing dishes, so he didn’t see the painful, longing look she sent his way.

Yes, he did, and Skye still didn’t know what to do about that fact.

Trip’s phone rang as Jemma began cleaning up what Ward hadn’t gotten to yet. Skye watched her best friend as his huge smile slowly turned into a frown followed by furrowed brows.

“What is it?” Skye asked, holding the baby tighter. It couldn’t be good if Trip look worried.

“Ward, stop washing those dishes. Boss, turn on the news.” He ordered as he hung up.

Skye could feel this was bad from the vibes Trip sent her way and she quickly followed him and her dad out of the room. They didn’t even go all the way to the control room, her dad went straight for the TV in the common room and when he flipped it to one of the news stations she immediately felt a wave of nausea and dread rush through her coming from Ward.

“Daddy needs hug,” Alice whispered into Skye’s ear, but Skye was too focused on the asshole spewing shit out of his mouth to really hear her.

“Breathe, Grant,” Jemma whispered, placing a hand on his back.

Skye could feel he was about to pass out, so she moved to his side and took his hand, sending him what little waves of calm she could. It seemed to work because he let out a long, shaking breath and fell into an armchair, burying his face in his hands.

“Mama, who that bad man?”

Skye didn’t want to tell her the truth, but she didn’t want to lie to he either.

“Remember when mama told you Mister Grant’s mommy and daddy were bad?”

Alice nodded.

“Well, so is his brother.”

Alice made a face.

“That bad man saying bad things about Mister Gwant is his brudder?”

Skye nodded, and Alice reached down to pat the top of Ward’s head.

“It’s okay, he no gon’ hurt you ‘gain.” Damn right he wasn’t. Skye would kill him if he tried. “Mama no let him.”

Skye smiled down at her baby, once again amazed by this tiny, amazing person. Somehow, despite her parents, she was perfect. And the love of her life.

“Does this wanker really believe the crap coming out of his mouth?” Hunter muttered.

“All these Hydra bastards are the same, you know that,” Bobbi growled.

“I want to assure my constituents here in Massachusetts, along with all of the American people, that every effort is being made to bring this criminal to justice. And I’m encouraging the Department of Homeland Security to conduct a thorough investigation into his escape and when he is caught, I call for the Justice Department to imprison him in Guantanamo, where he should have been in the first place.”

There was a mugshot of Grant taking up half the screen and the other half was filled with Christian’s stupid, smug, lying, piece of shit face and Skye had to breathe to keep herself from accidentally broadcasting out her rage.

After reading Grant’s file, she wanted nothing more than to strangle the Senator with her bare hands.

And then he crossed another line.

“It should be known my brother may be working with an accomplice,” and then it was Skye’s face on the screen and she had to set the baby down on the ground, so she could fall onto the armrest of Grant’s chair to keep from exploding with rage and fear. The image was a surveillance shot and she remembered that day well.

It was one of the rare occasions they’d risked letting Alice out of the base because as dangerous as it was, Skye couldn’t bear keeping her locked in all the time. They’d had a protection detail while on a simple trip to grab a few outfits from one of the shops a few towns over, followed by a stop for ice cream. On their way back to Lola, they’d been greeted by none other than one Seamus MacDougal, or Calvin Zabo, or whatever the fuck name her sperm donor was going by these days.

Skye had felt a moment of fear in that moment that she hadn’t experienced since the moment she’d laid eyes on her baby in his hands and heard nothing but silence.

But instead of trying anything, he’d simply smiled, informed her he knew exactly where she was holed up, and that he’d be seeing them soon before fleeing before Hunter and Trip could apprehend him.

She’d never felt more useless, just standing there instead of shooting him right there in the street.

Sure, it would have traumatized the little one, but that hadn’t crossed her mind until later. She’d hesitated. And she couldn’t make that mistake again.

Two days later her dad had begun plotting how to break Ward out of prison. Because despite everything he’d done and how she’d felt about him back before they’d reunited, and her feelings became muddled, she knew that as long as Grant Ward was under the same roof as her baby girl, no one was going to lay a hand on her.

But that knowledge didn’t stop the panic in her chest. She knew now that Christian was not only Hydra but working with her father which meant he had to know about Alice. All her fears about his family flashed before her eyes and she began to shake so hard, even the chair she shared with Ward began to vibrate.

“Skye Coulson, formerly an agent with SHIELD was identified as having impersonated a CIA operative to see my brother the day before his escape. According to my sources, she is the daughter of Phil Coulson, the heroic SHIELD agent who died during the battle of New York. It is my belief that after her father’s tragic she joined my brother in Hydra, and eventually married him.”

“ _What_!” Skye had only been half paying attention until her outburst but now she was glaring a hole through the screen.

“It is believed she helped in his escape and they may be traveling together. I encourage citizens to use our tip line if they are spotted. Do not engage with the pair, as they are most likely armed. I am deeply troubled by the actions of my brother and promise to not let my love for him cloud my ability to ensure he spends the rest of his life in prison.”

“I’m going to murder that douchebag with my bare hands,” Skye growled.

“And while we are on the subject of Hydra,” he began before launching into a tirade about the rise of Nazis and white nationalists while also stirring up more fear about literal aliens, Inhumans, and mutants. Fear of ‘other’ was what this country fed on but over the past two years it had grown to include everyone who wasn’t a white, human man.

“Mom,” Skye said quietly, suddenly feeling guilty that her exposure would mean her only aunt was in big trouble.

“Don’t worry, the CIA was in on it,” she muttered, doing her own glaring at the TV.

This was news to Skye.

“What?” She blinked in surprise.

“You think the other agencies like having to deal with all the weird shit now that we’re stuck underground?” Her dad said. “Trust me, they want us relegitimized just as much as we do. Plus, Tony’s money doesn’t hurt.”

At least there was one good thing in this mess.

“And because of this I would like to announce that myself, along with fifty-nine of my fellow Senators have signed a letter of support for articles of Impeachment drawn up by the House. This is a time of great fear and uncertainty in our world. With threats of attack by these non-humans we cannot allow a man with ties to terrorist organizations like Hydra and the KKK, along with foreign governments, to lead us into a nuclear war. It’s time for all humans to come together against the real threats against our species.”

“Fuuuck,” Skye muttered, not caring that little ears were listening.

“Mama, I scared.”

“Me too,” Skye admitted, picking her back up and cradling her against her chest.

“I hate to agree with him on anything, but isn’t Impeachment a good thing?” Grant asked, running a hand along Skye’s back. “Anyone with a spray tan that bad isn’t fit to run a Chic-Fil-A, let alone the country.”

Any other time she might have laughed, she’d missed his dry humor, but not today.

“It would be if the person they’d chosen to be the face of this campaign wasn’t actually a member of Hydra. We’ve been gathering evidence for months on politicians involved with them, and these aren’t guys who were young and stupid like you were, these are assholes who are true believers. And if we expose them now-” Skye shook her head.

Bobbi sighed. “It’ll undermine the entire process. It’s a win-win for them. If they’re exposed, their pawn stays in power, sowing chaos to distract the world from what they’re up to, and if not, they stay closeted and someone worse takes his place.”

Her dad muted the TV, sick of hearing Christian Ward flap his mouth.

“Hunter, how long do you think it’ll take you to get Ward cleared for duty?”

Hunter shrugged. “I don’t know, he’s more out of shape than I expected but he’s pretty stubborn. So, a few weeks. Why?”

Her dad turned to Grant and Skye felt her stomach fall.

“We’re going to need you to go under like we talked about. And Skye, you keep working on your side project. We’re going to get our hands on every piece of evidence we can and pull a Nat. Put it all out there for everyone to find.”

“That’s chaos.” Jemma said, horrified.

“Good. You think it’s just our government? Once they’re all exposed and in prison or out of power, they’ll be replaced,” her mom said.

“There’s no guarantee they’ll be replaced with anyone any better,” Bobbi reminded them.

“No, but it needs to be done.” Her dad said, in boss mode. “People have the right to know they’re in danger.”

“Why can’t the other agencies-”

“We’re already considered traitors to this country, we can take the risk.”

He sighed loudly.

“Look, I know we’re done. We’ve been done for a while. It’s why I’ve been closing bases and sending people to Tony. And any one of you is free to go if you want. Those of you still on the FBI’s wanted list will still be fugitives but he has better resources.  I’m not going to fault anyone for leaving, especially those of you who are free, but I’m not giving up on SHIELD. I’m going to fight for it until the end.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” Skye said, knowing she had nowhere to go now even if she wanted to. As a SHIELD agent on the run she already had a warrant out but now? She was going to be in hiding for the rest of her life.

“Neither am I,” Bobbi insisted.

“I go where she goes,” Hunter offered.

Trip managed to not let Hunter’s loyalty to Bobbi visibly affect him. “I didn’t come back to leave again.”

“Where would I even go?” Fitz muttered with a shrug.

Melinda took Phil’s hand and gave it a small squeeze. “Let’s give them hell.”

The only ones who didn’t say anything were Jemma and Ward. Jemma sat on Ward’s other side, staring at the ground and Ward eventually looked up, all color gone from his face.

“I’m not leaving Skye again,” he admitted, too stunned from seeing his brother to care about embarrassing himself.

There was something weighing heavily on Skye’s mind, but she didn’t want to scare the baby even more.

“Fitz, Jem, would you mind taking the baby for a bit?”

Jemma seemed to understand why because she didn’t question her.

“Come on, birthday girl. Uncle Fitz is working on a new DWARF, and maybe he’ll let you play with it.”

“Of course I will. And guess what? There’s a cool remote and everything,” he offered as Jemma scooped her up.

“No,” Alice said stubbornly, twisting around in Jemma’s arms to stare at Skye.

“Mama, is you married to Mister Gwant?”

“No,” Skye answered dismissively, her mind still reeling.

“But the bad man say you is.”

“He’s lying, baby.”

“But mama, look.” She pointed to the TV where her and Grant’s pictures were back up along with the headline ‘Reward for Capture of Grant and Skye Ward’.

Skye groaned.

_Jesus take the wheel._

“This mean we have same last name, mama?” She asked innocently.

Skye began choking on air.

“What?” Grant yelped, horrified. And then, before Skye could stop him. “Alice, what do you mean the same last name?”

“Everyone call mama Agent Coulson, but the TV says her name is Ward, like mine, silly.”

“You last name is…Ward?”

She nodded. “But mama only says my full name when she’s really, _really_ mad.” She informed him matter-of-factly.

Now Grant was the one choking on air.

“No worry, mama says it doesn’t mean you my daddy. Daddies are the ones who take care of you when you sick and tuck you in and love you and fix your boo boos and sads like papa does for mama.”

“Yes, they do, princess.” Melinda said, taking the baby from Jemma. She was somewhere between bewilderment and amusement, but she stared down at the little one with nothing but pure affection. “And right now, I think mommy and Agent Ward need to talk, so we’re going to go play hide and go seek.”

“But I wanna talk too! I’m a big girl now,” she insisted.

Skye stood, feeling Ward’s eyes on her. She ignored him, feeling close to passing out. She kissed the top of Alice’s head and brushed her cheek with her thumb. “The grown-ups need to talk, okay? About work. And work is boring.”

“I can work too, mama.”

“Why does she have my last name, Skye?” Ward finally snapped, his voice pitched so high she was sure dogs from five miles away could hear him.

“Calm down, Ward,” Fitz said irritably. “She did it because she’s stupid, in love with you, and was in the middle of a mental breakdown. No sane person would let a kid grow up thinking you were her dad.”

“Fitz!” Jemma shrieked, horrified.

“Get off my dick, Jemma. You can all embrace him and forgive him and pretend this is normal all you want but he deserves to know how much he hurt Skye. It’s not going to stop him from doing it again but maybe this hellfire spawn feels shame. If he even feels anything at all.”

“Alice, we’re going.

 Fitz, a word,” Melinda ordered angrily on her way out.

Jemma crossed her arms furiously and he looked between her and the door and decided that the angry woman he was willing to deal with was not his girlfriend.

“Grant, look,” Skye began, wringing her hands together as she faced him. “You have to understand, I never thought I’d see you again.”

“Does she think I’m her dad?” He stood, hands shaking as he stared down at her.

Skye opened her mouth, and nothing came out. How was she supposed to answer that?

“What was she going to do, mate? Tell her kid that her dad’s a serial killer working for Hydra who belongs in prison?”

“Hunter’s right, Grant,” Jemma said in a soothing voice. “Everyone knew you and Skye were involved and there are enough pictures of the two of you together, it was just…easier for her and everyone else to think…I mean…oh bollocks.”

“Easier to lie to her? What did you do when she asked where I was? Tell her I was dead? And how did you explain me being here?”

Skye pinched the bridge of her nose, fighting back tears.

“What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know!” Skye snapped. “Fitz is right, I went crazy! Like, had to be locked up kind of crazy, okay?

They couldn’t even trust me around her at first. Not until they put me in that damn memory machine.

I was a mess after they rescued me. And the entire time he had me locked up in that place all I could think was ‘if Ward was still around, he’d come for me’ so I just…”

She wiped at her eyes.

“When I finally had to name her it’s what slipped out and she doesn’t even exist on paper yet, so I was going to change but it just…stuck. And she didn’t start asking about her dad until recently when she realized the other kids all had two parents and I just…I’m a fuck up, okay? What else do you want me to say?”

Grant reached for her and she let him pull her closer, too busy trying to decipher the look on his face to care about being this pressed up against him.

“Skye,” he whispered, holding her face in his hands, “if she already thinks I’m her dad, then what’s wrong with letting her keep believing it?”

She blinked in confusion. “What?”

“You don’t have to take me back or anything, but I want to help you raise her. I mean, shit, if I hadn’t fucked up we’d already be raising her together. And I know she’s yours and you make all the real decisions and I don’t want to overstep or anything, I just…I mean, you said it yourself; she wants a dad. And the two minutes I thought she might be mine were two of the best minutes of my life. I’m not a good man and I don’t deserve either one of you, but I promise, if you let me, I’ll be a good dad.”

“Grant, that’s insane,” Skye whispered, her heart racing.

“No, it’s not. Blood doesn’t make a family. Look at you and Coulson. I’ll keep you both safe. And this way you can worry less, and you’ll have help. Plus, it’ll make her happy.”

“Grant, I appreciate that you want to do this, but you can’t, I’m sorry,” she faltered, pulling away.

“Why? Because you’re still pissed at me? I get it, I fucked up. And I can never make up for it, but at least let me try.”

“That’s not it.”

“You can’t think I’d hurt her? I would never!”

“Grant, it’s not you…it’s…” Skye glanced back to the screen, where big brother the asshole was shaking hands and kissing babies. “It’s because of him. I’m sorry, Grant, but any child of yours would be in danger. I read your file. I know how truly fucked your family is and I cannot let my child be used to hurt you. Being close to you puts her at risk and she’s already in enough danger because of my fucked-up father. Then there’s the risk that your enemies in Hydra could find out about her.”

His face fell, and Skye felt sick to her stomach.

“I’d love nothing more than give her two parents, but I’m sorry; I can’t take the risk.”

Skye ran a hand through her hair and let out a long, quaking breath. “But he might already know,” she whispered, close to tears. “Oh my God.” She covered her mouth, about to be sick.

“Angel,” her dad whispered, doing his best to be calm as he took hold of her shoulders to steady her. “Just breathe.”

“I can’t.” She was about to have a damn panic attack.

“He doesn’t know.”

“Oh, come on, dad! That piece of shit gave him that photo! How else did he get his hands on it? Do you know what it means? Them working together?

That’s why he thinks we’re married! My father told him that to get him to come after us! Hydra doesn’t care about his revenge plans, but Grant’s sick fuck of a brother? He’d do anything to hurt him.”

She pulled away from him, shaking as she began to piece it all together.

“Skye,” Grant began, but she backed away from all of them.

“Think about it. They’re up to something big. My father could have easily killed me and then taken her in the street that day. But he didn’t. Why?”

Her dad shrugged, at a loss. “I wish I knew.”

Skye ran a hand through her hair. “I should have run already, when there was still a chance. Now, everyone’s looking for me. I’m trapped here. That must be what he wants. He knows where we are and he’s just…trying to torture me some more? I don’t even…”

Her dad took hold of her again, meeting her eyes. “I wasn’t going to say anything until tomorrow, but the team surveilling Afterlife spotted him entering the compound a few days ago. He’s not even in the country anymore, Skye. Whatever he’s up to involves them somehow.”

Skye shook her head, trying not to lose it. “He’s probably there for help. His human henchman can’t take this base but a group of Inhumans who hate SHIELD?”

“Skye, he can’t know where we are-”

“It’s not a coincidence he happened to be in the street that day. Someone tipped him off. There’s a damn mole in this base.

We’re so stupid,” she muttered, finally seeing the big picture.

She glanced towards Grant and met his worried expression with a sigh.

“Ward, back me up on this.

Imagine you’re an evil, criminal mastermind hellbent on revenge and the subjects of your revenge fantasy all happened to be trapped under one, heavily guarded roof. How would you attack them?”

“I wouldn’t,” he replied honestly.

“ _Exactly_.”

Her dad frowned. “What are you saying?”

“We know Hydra took him back because they need him to find new ways to exploit and control people with powers, not because they give a shit about his sick experiments and they sure as fuck don’t give a damn about his plans. He’s a means to an end, he has no real power with them.

Which means if he does attack the base it will be with his guys, not Hydra soldiers.”

“Skye, I don’t know what you’re trying to get at here.”

“You wouldn’t,” she said, shaking her head. It would hurt him to hear, but she had to say it. “It sucks, but I share his DNA. I spent months with him in that place and he wasn’t shy with his plans. I have a damn good handle on how he operates and thinks.

And if it were me, I wouldn’t attack the base outright. I’d do something public, like he did when he took me. A distraction. Something to get you to dispatch as many agents as possible. We’re near the capital, if there was a big enough incident that kept the other agencies busy followed by something they would deem ‘weird’ enough to need our help it would leave the base empty and unprotected.

That’s when I’d make my move on the base.

It’s me he wants and now, with my face plastered everywhere, he knows I won’t be in the field.”

“Skye’s not wrong,” Grant said, looking impressed. “It’s right out of Hydra’s playbook and he knows how they work.

The thing about Hydra is that everything with them is about the long game, it’s how they were able to stay in the shadows for so long. It’s all big picture with them, like a chess match. What do you in chess? You don’t attack the queen, you make smart, patient moves to spread her pawns out and leave her vulnerable to be taken.”

“Then there’s the alternative,” Skye said with a sigh, glancing up at Grant.

He nodded, crossing his arms. “There’s that too.”

“He wouldn’t,” he dad said, catching on.

“In chess you can also be aggressive and take out all the pawns leaving no one to protect the queen. And if it were me,” Grant shrugged. “I’d have already given your base’s location to the heads of Hydra. Use them to carry out my revenge plans.

Destroying SHIELD is a win for Hydra and it would mean destroying your family, which is a win for him.”

Skye smiled at Grant, eyes twinkling with excitement.

“Sweetheart?” Her dad asked, looking between her and Grant with a worried dad expression.

“What Hydra doesn’t know is that the Avengers base is not only still up and running but filled with new recruits and SHIELD agents. We have the advantage and now that we know what they’re up to, we’re in control.”

Grant smirked. “I know their tricks, it won’t be hard to nail down their pattern. Give it a few days and we might even be able to predict their moves before they happen. See how they like being surprised by us thwarting them for once.”

“Or we let them carry out their plan to take the base but surprise them with a good ol’ fashioned ass kicking by the Avengers,” Skye whispered, feeling more alive than she had in years. While she loved being in the field, this was the part of the job that she loved. Logistics was just like coding, and it had been so long since they’d been able to be on the offensive. Her blood rushed with excitement. Maybe they actually had a chance.

“That’s diabolical.” Grant stared down at her and Skye forgot all about why she was supposed to stay away from him. If they didn’t have an audience she’d already have him pinned to a chair.

Working with him had always been a turn-on but even more so now.

“Not to brag or anything, but diabolical sort of runs in the family,” she teased.

“Funny, mine too. We make a great pair.”

Damn right they did.

“You all want to know why I needed Ward back? This. These two together is a damn force to be reckoned with. I should have never sent you to prison, we’d have won by now,” he muttered in annoyance.

Skye smirked at the blush that crept up onto Ward’s cheeks. They continued staring at one another, the heat between them strong.

Trip was right, she needed to get laid and the least Grant Ward could do after everything he’d put her through was give her a few dozen mind-blowing orgasms.

The team had about five seconds to clear out of here before they were in for a show.

A vision of her and Grant ripping each other’s clothes off like they were in a bad porno flashed through her mind and honestly, she wouldn’t mind doing just that. And then Grant blushed and she realized she wasn’t the one thinking it.

Well, that was a new trick.

She wondered if this mind-reading things was a two-way connection and before she could test it they were rudely interrupted.

“We shouldn’t be discussing this here. Or without May or Mack,” Bobbi suggested, nodding in the direction of the door.

Skye looked away from Grant to find the base was now bustling with agents.

A chill went up her spine and when she glanced back she found the best sex she’d ever had eying her like she was his next meal.

That was a nice thought.

“So, we’re bringing Ward in on this?” Trips asked, arms crossed.

“Yes, but I want him focusing on his training. If he can survive a hell week with Hunter, he should be good to come back to work.”

Skye tried not to think about Grant covered in sweat and returned her attention to the team.

“That is not your decision, _sir_ ,” Jemma reminded him.

He ignored her. “Mack’ll be back by then, then we’ll brief you.

Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I need to call Commander Hill.

Sweetheart,” he muttered, kissing the top of Skye’s head on his way out. “I’ll see you all tonight.”

“Well, mate, I hope you enjoy your last day of freedom,” Hunter teased.

“Yeah, better take a nap,” Grant muttered, staring at Skye again.

She sighed, still not sure what to do about him but knowing she needed to figure it out fast.

“We should go finish setting up for the party,” Trip suggested.

“Good idea, those dozens of cupcakes aren’t going to magically decorate themselves,” Skye muttered.

“I’ll be there soon, I have a few last touches to put on her presents,” Jemma said, winking in Grant’s direction.

What was that about?

“I need to check in with Izzy, but I’ll be there soon,” Bobbi said, grabbing Hunter’s arm. “Come on, she’ll want to talk to you too.”

“No, she wants to scold me,” he complained.

Bobbi gave him one of her hate looks and he groaned loudly. “Fine.

And I mean it Ward; after your head shrinking go take a nap,” he ordered.

Grant waved him off, rolling his eyes.

“Skye, you coming?” Trip called.

She met Grant’s eyes for a long moment before sighing in defeat. Today was not the day to deal with this. Tomorrow, after she’d had the night to think.

“Coming,” she said, following the group out the door.

Before she made it though, Grant Ward grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him.

She didn’t even have time to register the pounding in her chest before his face was so close to hers she could smell the coffee on his breath.

“We need to talk,” he whispered in a low, sexy growl.

Oh, to hell with it. They all knew where this was headed.

“Shut up, we can talk later,” Skye whispered, grabbing his shirt and pulling him against her.

And for the second time in as many days Skye found herself leaning in to kiss him.


	22. (Grant) You Build Me Up and Then I Fall Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope y’all enjoyed the cliffhanger. Also, there’s a soundtrack for the fic [here](http://snarkysweetness.tumblr.com/post/169318553103/songs-for-fix-a-heart-a-skyeward-mix-fix-a) because I like to do the most. And there are also fic posters [here](http://snarkysweetness.tumblr.com/tagged/graphics%3A-mine), if you’re into that.

It wasn’t even time for his nine a.m. therapy appointment and Grant had already had one hell of a morning.

Seeing Christian had been traumatizing, but not because he gave a damn about what he could do to him or the past. Truth was he was over it. He couldn’t change his own childhood, but he could change Alice’s and her and Skye’s safety were what mattered most to him.

Skye was right, they couldn’t risk exposing that perfect little girl to his brother. It was bad enough Cal the psychopath was after her she didn’t need Christian the sociopath after her too.

But he wasn’t about to give up on them either.

On the contrary: spending the morning going through the moments of domestic bliss with the two of them had been a reminder of just the kind of life he’d fantasized about having with Skye. And sitting with her and the baby, having breakfast, and acting like a real family made him want that life even more now.

Grant knew he would be a good father and he didn’t care how much work it took, he would find a way to prove it to Skye.

Family was the only thing that mattered-and these people: Skye, Alice, the team- _they_ were his real family; the family he’d failed to choose when he’d had the chance and he was going to make for his past sins and win them back. He loved them, and he wasn’t going to fuck up this time.

So, when he’d reached for Skye it had been to get a minute alone to spill his heart to her, but he’d pulled her too close and now he couldn’t remember how to speak, or breathe, or do anything but stand there in stunned silence while she leaned in.

It occurred to him then that she was always the one making the first move, but as he took her face in his hands and closed the gap between their lips he found he didn’t care.

“Skye, I thought you were coming,” Trip interrupted, causing Skye to jump in surprise before their lips could touch.

Her cheeks went red, and Grant glared in Trip’s direction as she pulled away.

“Girl, next time specify how you’ll be coming-Oww!” He chuckled as she punched his arm.

“Go away; Ward and I need a minute alone,” she hissed in annoyance.

Trip smirked in amusement. “Oh, I bet you do. Here,” he reached into his pocket and emerged with a magnum. “You kids might need this.”

Skye’s entire face went red with anger and Grant swore he could see steam coming from her ears when Jemma poked her head into the room from behind Trip and didn’t even try to hide her amusement.

“Now, remember kids: everyone can see into the room so maybe go find somewhere private to get naked in. You don’t want to end up on the internet.”

Grant scowled. He didn’t need empath powers to know they’d killed the mood and any shot of him getting that kiss.

“Out!” Skye ordered, reminding him of her mom.

Honestly, aside from his hero worship and mission, a big reason he’d let May seduce him was because she’d reminded him so much of Skye and it was easier to not deal with his feelings. Now he felt stupid for not realizing their relationship sooner. How had they all missed it? It was uncanny.

They could hear the pair chuckling as they made their way down the hall and Skye waited until she was sure they were alone before turning back to him, her cheeks still flushed with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Next time, let’s lock the door,” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

Skye rolled her eyes.

“I mean it, Ward. I keep almost mauling you and it needs to stop.”

“Does it?” He moved closer but this time she stopped him before he could grab her.

“This is a bad idea.”

While she had a point, he wasn’t opposed to bad ideas.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re picturing me naked.”

“Then you stop being so hot.”

Skye snorted. “Grant, I mean it. I have a child. Us doing whatever _this_ is will just confuse her.”

“She doesn’t need to find out. I hear sneaking around can be kind of sexy.”

“Grant, I’m trying to have a serious conversation here and you being cute isn’t helping.”

“Does this mean you think I’m cute?” He teased, but she was not amused.

“Fine,” he sighed. “I’ll try to be less adorable. Not that it’s possible.”

This got her to crack a smile.

“Grant, you need to know…” She sighed. “I _really_ loved you.”

“I know,” he admitted sadly. He’d just been too stupid to make a move. And because of that they’d happened too late. “And I still love you.”

“I still love you too. I tried not to, for years, but…” She shrugged.

“Then I don’t see the problem. I love you. You love me. We love each other.”

“Because I don’t know if I can trust you.”

He supposed he deserved that. Not that it stopped her words from stinging.

“This is just all happening too fast.

I was angry for so long and I tried so hard to hate you, so I could stop loving you. It was easier to think the man I fell in love with didn’t exist. That it was all a lie. It hurt less that way.

But now you’re here and I have these stupid powers and,” she shrugged. “I have to deal with the fact that even though you really loved me you still lied.

The truth is I can forgive you, but I don’t trust that you won’t break my heart again. And the thing is, everything I do affects that little girl. And if you break my heart, you break hers. I’m not sure if I’m ready to take that risk.

Getting over you once was hard enough, I’m not sure I could do it again,” she admitted, close to tears.

Grant felt like the world’s biggest asshole.

“Skye-”

“Let me finish.

My head is a mess and I don’t know if I can trust my heart around you and I need time to sort through how I feel.

And I don’t want to lead you, so I think we need to cool it on the flirting. At least until I’m sure I can handle _this_ ,” she said, motioning between them.

“Okay,” he whispered. He wanted to hug her, but he resisted the urge. After everything he’d done to her he’d take things as slow as she wanted. “Just remember, no matter what happens I’m always here. Romance or no romance you’re still my partner, rookie.”

“I’m not your rookie anymore,” she said stubbornly. “After you left the Cavalry trained me. I can kick your ass all over this base.”

Grant chuckled. “Yeah? Maybe you should be my new S.O.”

“Maybe I should. I hear you’re seriously out of practice and need someone to whip you into shape.”

“See, you said no flirting but now you’re trying to get me worked up talking about whips.”

This made Skye laugh. He’d missed that sound. And her. This was nice. He didn’t need romance, just being around her was enough.

“Seriously though, we make damn good partners.”

“Yeah, we do,” Skye admitted.

“So, what do you say? Partners again? In work, anyway.”

He’d prefer to be partners in life too, but this was nice too.

“Partners,” she agreed, holding out a hand which he took and shook.

“And maybe even friends? I hear people do that these days.”

“Really? And here I thought that was just in the movies,” she teased adorably.

How had he resisted this perfect woman for so long?

He was an idiot.

And if she kept smiling at him like that he was going to break his promise not to flirt.

“I should go. I have a hot date with my therapist.”

“Kinky,” Skye quipped. “Don’t spend the whole session talking about me.”

Grant back away with a smile. “Oh, I do nothing but talk about you.”

Skye laughed with a shake of her head. “There you go, being adorable again.”

“I warned you I can’t stop.”

“Bye, Ward,” she waved, trying to get rid of him.

He waved back and headed for the door before stopping and glancing back at her with a smirk. “If you change your mind on the whips, you know where to find me.”

“ _Ward_!”

“And anytime you decide you want to maul me, sexually, you have my consent.”

“Go away!” She hissed, throwing a ping pong ball at him.

He ducked it with a laugh. “Later, partner.”

“Ass!” She called behind him and he chuckled the whole way to his appointment.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Grant cocked his gun, doing his best to focus on the task at hand, but he was finding it hard.

After therapy he’d had time to kill before his firearms test, so he’d taken a nap on the common room couch and dreamt of Skye and whips. He’d woken up covered in sweat, hard, energized, and desperate to break his promise. He hadn’t come in four years, not since he and Skye had somehow managed to break in the bed of her tiny pod, and it was taking every shred of willpower he possessed not to get on his knees and beg her to give him a pity fuck to tide him over.

He supposed he could lock himself in the bathroom and rub one out, to get it out of his system, but he didn’t see the point of coming if it wasn’t with her.

Or maybe he still felt too guilty to enjoy himself.

This was probably something he should bring up in therapy but there was no way in hell he was going to discuss his sexual needs with his female therapist.

Instead he aimed at his target and began firing again, emptying his weapon.

“Good job, mate, you passed,” Hunter called, taking off his earmuffs. “Now, let’s go get a drink.”

His ‘trainer’ had been visibly bored the entire time but Grant had only missed one round on both of his tests and dammit, he was determined to get that perfect score.

“Just one more,” he said, reloading the target.

Hunter groaned loudly. “Mate, Trip’s going to work with you this week with the new rifles and shit. Trust me, we’ll get you back into shape. But it’s the weekend, let’s enjoy ourselves.”

“It’s Monday,” Grant said, shaking his head. “And when we’re done here, I’m hitting the gym.”

“You’re the most boring person alive. I cannot believe people talk about you like you’re the damn boogeyman or something.”

Grant rolled his eyes and pulled his earmuffs back on. He raised his weapon and kept his hands steady as he emptied the clip in the target. He wasn’t as strong as he’d been four years ago, but he still had his muscle memory so at least he wasn’t completely useless. If shit popped up before he was cleared for the field at least he knew he could defend himself and his family. He would just prefer to be back to the super spy Skye had fallen in love with.

“There we go, now let’s piss off the afternoon and get drunk,” Hunter called when Grant’s target returned with perfect marks.

“Aren’t you supposed to be training him, not getting him drunk?” May called from the doorway, arms crossed.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Hunter muttered.

Skye smirked in their direction, already loading her weapon while her mother continued to stare down Hunter.

After a moment he caved with a loud groan.

“Fine, come on Ward, let’s get this paperwork in so we can get your ICER issued.”

“And then?”

“And then we’ll go to the gym,” he muttered, too afraid of May too argue.

“You’d better,” she ordered, grabbing a pair of earmuffs and a clipboard while Skye put her safety gear on.

Grant did his best not to stare while he removed his own gear but damn she was fine. She’d changed into tight workout paints and a V-neck and holy shit did her tits look amazing. They’d always been perfect, just big enough to allow some cleavage and to fit perfectly in his palms, but he could swear they’d gotten bigger since he’d seen them last.

His mouth went dry as she emptied her weapon and he had to remind himself that they were in public and this would not be a good time to beg her for sex.

But fuck, she was the sexiest woman alive.

Skye spared a glance in his direction before shaking her head with a smirk as she reloaded her gun.

“You’re projecting pretty loudly over there, Ward,” she teased.

So, he was that obvious?

He blushed as she shot him another ‘look’ before firing again.

Holy shit she was making things hard for him again.

“Enjoying the show, Ward?” Skye called as she holstered her weapon.

“A little,” he admitted, wishing they were alone.

May shot him a glare, annoyed with their flirting, and handed Skye her own clipboard.

“Here, you passed. Now test me so we’re done with this shit,” she ordered. “And Hunter, you get your ass over here and get recertified.”

Hunter emerged from the office with Grant’s paperwork in hand. “But it’s not due until the end of the year,” he whined, brushing May’s orders off.

“It’s the end of October,” Skye reminded.

“Which means I still have two months to get it done.”

Skye side-eyed him. “You’re already here, just get it over with.”

“But it’s time for lunch, Skye,” he whined like he hadn’t eaten for a week.

May cocked her gun and shot him a death glare.

Hunter grumbled to himself with a pout. “Fine,” he muttered. “Hold these, Ward,” he said, handing him his paperwork. “We’ll go to the armory when I’m done.”

Satisfied, May turned away and emptied her clip into her target. As she reloaded her weapon for her second run she stared Grant down, keeping her eyes on him as she perfectly fired into her second target without blinking.

Grant suddenly felt very sweaty and uncomfortable and not in a good way.

“Administer Hunter’s test and get these filed,” she ordered, signing off on Skye’s certification and handing it over.

She paused on her way out and glanced back at Grant. “And Ward, if you ever hurt my kid again I’ll happily use you for target practice,” she warned before leaving.

Skye rolled her eyes as she headed for the office while Hunter suited up.

Grant watched her go, enjoying the sight of her walking away too much to care that her mom had just threatened his life.

He wanted nothing more than to grab her by the waist, press her against the wall, and kiss her until Hunter got the hint to leave them alone for some much-needed make-up sex.

Instead he clutched his paperwork with his sweaty palms and leaned against the wall to watch Hunter shoot.

Skye chuckled with a shake of her head as she stared down at her clipboard. “In your dreams, Ward.”

He stared up at her, mildly horrified. There was no way she’d heard that, right? She couldn’t actually read minds, could she?

“Only when you’re being so loud about it,” she whispered, glancing up at him with a smirk. “Which you seem to do when you have those thoughts.”

She looked away, bemused, and kept her attentions on Hunter.

Well, _fuck_.


	23. (Skye) Fight Just a Little

“Jem, you don’t have to help, I can handle this,” Skye lied as she stared down at her half-assed attempt at the ‘simple rose piping technique’. Simple her ass. Not only was it tedious and difficult but it looked nothing like a rose. In fact, she was pretty sure she’d made the creature from The Blob.

It was stupid that she cared so much, because Alice wouldn’t remember what the cupcakes looked like, but Skye was stubborn as hell and determined to make her own cupcakes as perfect as the ones Jemma had on her side of the table.

Jemma frowned down at Skye’s pathetic attempts before pushing her reject cupcakes to the side. “We’ll leave those for the boys,” she suggested, grabbing Skye’s piping bag. “Just watch me, you’re a more visual learner,” she offered, in an attempt to spare Skye’s feelings.

Sure, Skye wasn’t domestic, by any means, but she could cook now; and she wanted to be the kind of mom who could decorate a simple fucking cupcake.

After three more attempts it was clear she would never master this, no matter how many times she followed Jemma’s lead, so she gave up and began assembling Jemma’s perfect creations together on a cake stand.

“Skye, can I ask you something?” Jemma asked quietly, her eyes focused on the tiny cake in her hands.

Skye leaned against the table and reached for one of her rejects to snack on. “Anything.”

Jemma stared down at her lap for a long moment before glancing up at Skye sadly. “How do you know when it’s time to walk away?”

“From?” Skye asked, trying not to panic.

“A relationship.”

Skye couldn’t say she was surprised but she sat on the stool next to Jemma’s and took her hand gently. “Jemma, I know you and Fitz haven’t been getting along lately, but come on, before you guys got together you fought all the time. Maybe this is just you two getting back to normal.”

Jemma shook her head. “This isn’t the same. It’s bad. And I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I need a break,” she admitted, close to tears.

“This is my fault,” Skye apologized, trying not to cry.

“How is this your fault?”

“Because I brought Ward back here. He was fine before-”

“This has nothing to do with Ward,” Jemma interrupted angrily.

“Fitz has been angry for years. And it was fine when he was recovering. It was hard for him, not being able to walk or use his hands and he had every right to be angry. His life was basically over but we got through it. He was doing a lot better and going to physical therapy and working with Robin and he just…” Jemma wiped at her eyes before shoving a cupcake into her mouth. After taking time to chew and calm down she shook her head. “He quit. He just gave up. And ever since he’s been moodier and just mean.

I honestly don’t recognize him anymore, Skye.

And I can’t do this anymore. It’s too emotionally exhausting. And it’s not worth it.”

Skye couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard things had been for Fitz and for Jemma having to go through it with him, but the thought of them breaking up was too much.

“I don’t think he’s giving up, Jemma.” Skye knew about giving up and this wasn’t it. He was still fighting, maybe not the way she wanted him to, but he was. “He might just need a break. None of us knows what he’s going through, not really, and I know it seems like he’s taking it out on you, but I don’t think he means to.

You just need to put your foot down because the Jemma Simmons I know fights for the people she loves even if it means fighting against them too.

When I wanted to give up and die you didn’t let me. And after every surgery when I didn’t want to keep going, you forced me to. And when Fitz tried to die in that pod, you didn’t let him. And even though you have every right to, you haven’t given up on Ward.

I know it’s exhausting to always be the person fighting for everyone else, and I don’t blame you for needing a break too, but don’t give up on him just yet.

It wasn’t easy for me, recovering from all of my injuries and trauma and literally going crazy,” Skye said seriously. “But I can’t imagine dealing with all of that and suffering a brain injury.

I’m not saying you need to take his mood swings, but sit him down and tell him that while you are here for her and know he’s going through hell that he can’t take it out on you anymore.”

Living on this base was hard. Everyone was stuck, cramped together in close quarters, and living and working together. Tensions ran high. And poor Fitzsimmons shared a room and worked together in the same lab, so of course they took out their frustrations on each other.

And Fitz wasn’t the most tactful or aware person. Sometimes he needed to be called out on his shit.

“It’s not just that,” Jemma sighed. “I love Fitz, and he’s my best friend, but we don’t have a future.”

“Oh, come on, Jemma. I know it seems like we’ll be stuck in hiding forever, but it won’t be long before SHIELD is back up and running officially. And when we’re not fugitives anymore we can all have lives outside of this place.”

Jemma squeezed Skye’s hand sadly before reaching for a second cupcake and taking a huge stress bite out of it. “He doesn’t want kids, Skye,” Jemma whispered, shaking her head. “I know we’ve only been together for three years, but it feels like longer. I wasted my entire adult life waiting for Fitz to realize he loved me and I don’t want to waste more time on someone who doesn’t want what I want. We may be in hiding and all but I’m thirty and I want to get married and have a family, so why am I working so hard on a relationship that is going nowhere?”

“Jemma, this is Fitz we’re talking about. Of course he wants the same things you do. But it’s hard to think about those things right now. I’m the only one crazy enough to start a family in the middle of this mess. I guarantee you, once you’re off in your own apartment, living boring lives again, or at least as boring as our lives can get while being spies, he’ll change his mind.”

Fitz was an amazing uncle, and Skye knew he’d be an even better father, he just needed time.

“It’s not just that, it’s…Even when it was really hard at the beginning, we were happy. We used to have fun and make each other laugh and _the sex_ -”

“Oh, we’ve all heard the amazing sex,” Skye interrupted with a shake of her head.

Jemma wiped icing off the table with a blush. “The night we all went out for drinks, for a few hours it was like I had the old Fitz back,” Jemma said with a smile, meeting Skye’s eyes. “We were all laughing and playing pool and he was telling jokes and taking the piss out of Hunter and we were flirting and…” She glanced down, blushing again. “And I had this need for him, you know? When you just have to have someone? So I thought it would be fun to be spontaneous and I pulled him into the bathroom and that’s the moment when he chose to pick a fight.

Ever since I stormed out he’s been like a different person.

I know having Ward back stresses him out and it’s harder for him to forgive because he loved him so much and Ward hurt him, but he was like this long before he could use Ward as an excuse for his shitty behavior.

And honestly, Skye, I can’t be the only one fighting for this relationship. Not anymore.”

Skye felt her heart breaking and she was sure Jemma felt a million times worse. “Do what makes you happy, Jemma,” Skye whispered, feeling terrible. She loved Fitz like a brother, but she couldn’t stand to see Jemma miserable. “If you really feel like you and Fitz don’t have a future then walk away. But, if you can still see the two of you winding up happy in the end then the fight is worth it. Happiness doesn’t just land in your lap, you have to work for it. And you and Fitz are soulmates, Jem. I don’t believe he’s given up, but you’re the only one who can make this decision.”

Jemma busied herself with more decorating and after a moment Skye returned to arranging the cake.

“Thanks, Skye,” Jemma whispered after a few minutes.

“Anytime,” Skye replied, and then after a moment added, “but I may not be the best person to take love advice from. My baby daddy murdered a bunch of people and I still can’t quit him, so clearly my judgement is terrible,” Skye teased.

Jemma chuckled and finished the last cake on the tray. “I think your judgement is just fine. Ward may be a piece of shit who makes terrible decisions, but he loves you and even though he has no reason to he loves Alice too.”

“Yeah, he didn’t make this easy on me, did he?”

“Nothing worth having is easy,” Jemma reminded her with a mocking smile.

Skye threw a crumb at her and Jemma laughed, cleaning up their mess.

“How are we doing, ladies?” Trip asked, wrapping one arm around Jemma.

Skye watched them for a moment, noticing how calm Jemma was in his presence.

Poor Trip.

Skye knew no one else had seen it, and he would never admit to, but he’d been so in love with Jemma in the beginning. Not that he ever stood a chance with Fitz around. Trip was good like that; he just wanted everyone else to find happiness without thinking of his own. It was why she loved him so much.

“What was that for?” Trip asked in surprised after Skye leaned up and pressed a big kiss to his cheek.

“For being the best,” Skye replied with a smile.

“It is true, I am,” he teased cockily, and Skye gave him a reject cupcake before returning to her task.

“Oh Trip,” Jemma sighed, “why couldn’t you have joined the team earlier? We would have fought over you but at least Skye or I would have wound up with you instead of stubborn jackasses.”

“Because that would have been easy,” Trip said regretfully as he stared down at Jemma without her seeing.

“Yeah, we all like drama,” Skye said flatly. She had Ward to deal with. Trip clearly still had feelings for Jemma even though he had strong feelings for Hunter. Hunter probably loved Trip but would inevitably go running back to Bobbi. And Jemma was close to walking away from the love of her life. Wasn’t love grand?

“True,” Trip said with his trademark smile, “but who wants to fuck up perfectly good friendships with romance?”

“Hey!” Jemma cried out, offended.

Trip gave her a reassuring squeeze and kissed the top of her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean you and Fitz, Jem.”

“Plus, it worked out for my parents,” Skye offered. “Eventually,” she added with a frown.

Speaking of the old married couple…

“Dad? What?” Skye narrowed her eyes on him, unsure of which to comment on first. The feather boa? The bright red lipstick? The tiara? Or the fact that he was still in a suit?

“Papa let me play dress up!” Alice announced happily from her grandmother’s arms as Skye did her best not to laugh.

“Oh, I can see that, princess. I’m just surprised lăolao didn’t stop you,” Skye teased.

Her mother shrugged, and her dad looked offended.

“I look amazing,” he said, strutting his stuff.

Skye shook her head and watched Alice squirm out of Melinda’s arms so she could rush over to her tea set. She looked beautiful in her custom made princess dress (because while her baby was _obsessed_ with Mulan she still liked ruffles and lace).

“Tea time, papa!” Alice cried, waving him over to where she’d arranged her stuffed animals with extra place settings for guests.

“I hope there’s chamomile,” Phil teased, and Skye snorted. Her dad was a huge nerd and she loved it.

“Are Hunter and Bobbi not back with those balloons yet?” Her mother asked, annoyed.

Skye glanced up at her, knowing full well why they weren’t back yet but she wasn’t going to voice it aloud. Poor Trip didn’t need to be reminded that Hunter went balls deep into his ex-wife every chance he got.

“Lăolao! Uncle Trip! Tea!” Alice cried out and Skye threw her hands up.

“You’ve been summoned,” she informed them, glad to be given an out of that conversation.

“She is precious,” Jemma cooed as she watched Alice conduct her tea party fondly.

Skye glanced up, the cake finished and smiled at her little princess. She’d been through unspeakable horrors in her life, but it was hard to not be happy at the end of the day when she’d been given the greatest kid in existence.

“I did the right thing, right?” Skye whispered, still watching Alice. “Keeping her, I mean? I feel so selfish sometimes, because she deserves a real family and a real house, but she _is_ happy, right?”

Jemma took Skye’s hand and made her meet her eyes. “You’re crazy if you think that little girl belongs with anyone but you. Just because you’re not raising her in a house in the suburbs with a dog and mommy and me classes doesn’t mean you’re a bad mum. She has a family who loves her, and a mother would die for her and almost did. And what did you tell me? We’ll be out of hiding eventually and then we’ll have as close to normal lives as spies can have.”

Skye rolled her eyes. “I hate when you turn my own words against me.”

Jemma smirked and reached for another reject cupcake. “And you know, you can still give her both parents, all you have to do is fight for Ward.”

“Maybe I would if everyone stopped trying to make the decision for me,” Skye muttered, still watching her princess order everyone around.

“I’m only teasing, Skye. I know you’ll do what you feel is right.”

“That’s the thing, Jemma. My entire life everyone else made my decisions for me. Everything in my life has been a result of the actions of other people. I never had a choice in anything that happened to me. Being taken from my parents, being moved around by SHIELD, being stuck in that orphanage, having to run away and live on the streets…” She reached for the last reject cupcake and tried not to dwell on how it was a metaphor for her life while she unwrapped it.

“The only three choices I ever made for myself were to find my mother, which lead me to joining SHIELD and falling in love with Ward which led to me getting knocked up, but I _chose_ to be a mom. I could have made a different choice, but it was what _I_ wanted.

And when Ward turned out to be a traitor, it was like yet another choice had been taken from me. Because I’ll never know if I would have still loved him if I’d known the truth.

I know it sounds stupid but the more you guys try to push us back together the more I want to run away from him.

I need this to be my decision. To make sure it’s what I really want not and not just nostalgia or wanting Alice to have a dad.

You guys just need to back off and give me time to sort out of my feelings,” she muttered, licking frosting off the wrapper before taking a bite.

“What?” She asked irritably when Jemma shook her head at her, smirking.

“Oh, I think we both know you’ve already made your decision. You just want to make him suffer a little before you let him come crawling back into your bed.”

Skye really hated her sometimes.


	24. (Skye) All You Had to Do Was Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Fitz.

“Where were you, Fitz?” Hunter accused as he followed a glowering Fitz into the room.

Skye groaned. Not _more_ drama. Hadn’t she had enough for one lifetime?

“None of your fucking business,” Fitz muttered, carrying a brown grocery bag. His hands were shaking so she grabbed it before he could drop it. She could see the shame on his face, but he mumbled a ‘thank you’ anyway.

“Well, it is _my_ business. Where have you been all day?” Jemma glowered, arms crossed.

Fitz touched her cheek tenderly before kissing her forehead. “You haven’t been feeling well so I went on a grocery run,” he whispered, motioning to the bag.

Jemma didn’t look impressed but when she opened it her face softened. “Oh, Fitz,” she whispered, close to tears.

“There’s fresh ginger for tea, ginger ale, graham crackers, and ginger beer for when you feel better. Oh, and I got you some of that fancy cheese you like in case your stomach can handle it.”

Jemma took his face in her hands and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Then the other. And then his lips. A moment later Skye had to look away because those two were about to eat each other’s faces off.

“You’re so sweet.”

“No I’m not. I was an ass this morning. I’m sorry.”

“You’re always an ass,” Hunter grumbled, and Jemma rolled her eyes.

“I’m the one who yelled first, it’s not your fault.”

“This time,” Hunter butted in.

“Lance, don’t you have a wife to annoy?” Jemma shot him a glare, not in the mood.

“No, I want to know where he disappeared to after he gave me the slip.”

“You followed my boyfriend?”

“Damn right I did.”

Oh boy, was he in for it.

“And I know for a fact it does not take four hours to go grocery shopping, unless he went to bloody Philly.”

Jemma opened her mouth to yell but then realization crossed her face. “Fitz, he has a point. Where were you?”

“Can we talk about this later?” Fitz asked nervously. “There’s something I need to show you but not here.”

“We’re all friends here, mate. Let’s see it.”

“Shut up, Lance,” Jemma hissed. “Fitz is right, this is not the time or place. It’s Alice’s birthday and we’re all going to behave like civilized adults.”

Hunter scowled and pulled a flask from his coat. “Fine.”

Trip pinched the bridge of his nose. “Really? This is a kid’s party, man,” he scolded, taking the flask. “No one needs you getting drunk and ruining things.”

“Fine, I’m going to go find Ward. None of you are any fu-Do I smell pizza?”

“Yes, and you’re not having any until the other kids get here,” Skye warned.

“What kids? She doesn’t have friends. No one wants to hang out with the serial killer’s spawn who can read minds.”

“Hunter,” Skye growled, wishing she had something to stab him with. “Don’t say those things when she’s around. Or around Ward. I don’t need him knowing how they treat her.”

“What? Afraid he’ll kill someone again?”

“Lance!” Jemma smacked his arm. “You behave.”

“I don’t blame him. I want to punch the dads of some of those kids myself. No one is allowed to treat my princess like that. But we can’t all pretend they don’t. And if any of them do show up it’s going to be to gawk at Ward like he’s a bloody carnival attraction.”

Skye nicked the flask from Trip and took a long drink. Hunter had a point, and fuck if she didn’t need alcohol right now.

“Little Dimitri will be here. And you can wait an hour to eat. Look, there’s some chips on the table. Knock yourself out-literally.” Jemma looked ready to help him.

Hunter pouted but he grabbed the entire bowl and began munching away anyway.

“You invited Ward?” Fitz finally said, looking sick.

“No, the baby did, and don’t start,” Skye pleaded.

“You know what, baby girl,” her mother said loudly, glaring in their direction. “Let’s go take a little walk while your mom talks some sense into your uncles,” she ordered through gritted teeth.

Alice pouted as Melinda scooped her up but when she caught Phil with a finger to his lips and a piece of candy in his hand she smiled into her grandma’s neck with a giggle.

Skye shook her head at her dad’s antics.

“You girls go see if Auntie Nat is here,” he suggested, standing to kiss them both and slip the candy into Alice’s fist.

“Auntie Nat!” Alice cried excitedly. “And Dimka!”

“That’s right baby, and if you ask nicely maybe grandpa will give you another piece of candy to share with your boyfriend,” she said shooting him a smile. As if he could get anything past her.

“She’s too young for a boyfriend,” he pouted, handing over the rest of the candy he had hidden in his suit pocket.

“We gon’ get married!”

Melinda laughed as she carried her out. “You have that all planned out, do you?”

Her dad waved them off with a frown.

“We’re getting her a chastity belt when she turns thirteen.”

“Dad,” Skye groaned.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to let Ward near her,” Fitz complained with a frown.

“Fitz, I know you’re still angry with him, but he’s gotten better. He really was sick and he’s working really hard to make up for what he did,” Skye asserted, knowing it wasn’t enough but for fuck’s sake, she was sick of the fighting. 

“So, it only took you two days to lose your mind?”

Skye ignored that jab. “She wants him at her party and don’t forget, if anyone has a right to be here, it’s him. She wants to get to know him, Fitz, and I can’t exactly tell her ‘no’.”

“What? Now you’re going to play house with the bloody traitor who sprogged you up and abandoned you?”

“He did not-”

“This is serious, Skye,” he interrupted angrily. “Isn’t it bad enough that he’s here? And that’s you’re all friends with him? Should you really be putting her in danger by letting him near her?”

Trip groaned before taking a long swig from the flask. A second later her dad took it and did the same, shaking his head. They both knew better than to mess with Skye, especially today, and were prepared for Skye to go off.

“He is _family_ ,” she spat through gritted teeth.

“Not my fucking family,” Fitz argued defensively.

“Too fucking bad because he’s mine!”

“He’s a liar and a murderer, Skye. Alice deserves better than him; so do you.”

“I guess that means everyone in this room should stay away from her?” Hunter said seriously. “Because the last time I checked we’ve all been forced to kill someone at some point, mate. And you can find ways to justify it all you want but it doesn’t change the fact that we’re all killers. Me more than anyone.

I’ve been to war; I was trained to kill. So was Ward. So was Bobbi. So was Trip. They weren’t soldiers but SHIELD trains it’s specialists to not only be damn good spies but assassins too. Lying and killing is the job. You’re just angry because he was doing it for Hydra too, as if SHIELD doesn’t have just as much blood on its hands.

Hate Ward all you want, but we’ve all done terrible things, and if he isn’t worth forgiving then we sure as hell aren’t.”

“The love of my life almost died because of him!” Fitz yelled, red in the face. “Your cousin! Did you forget that?”

Jemma placed a hand on his arm gently. “Leo, I know what he did is horrible, and you have every right not to forgive him, but he’s still our family and he’s never going to get better without support.” Her voice was calm and soothing and while Fitz still looked furious he didn’t argue.

“I’m not excusing what he did, but we all know that pod wasn’t supposed to sink, Fitz. He feels horrible for what he did, and he was fine spending his life in prison to make up for it.

But he chose to come back for Skye, because he loves her, and he’ll do anything for her. That may not mean much to you, but it means everything to her. He’s willing to die if it means keeping her and our niece safe.

Just keep that in mind tonight.

I’m not asking you to be his best friend again, just to be civilized, for the baby.

And I promise, after tonight you never have to see him or speak to him again, okay?”

Skye could see the tension in his neck as he battled internally with Jemma’s request. After a long, tense minute he finally gave in.

“Fine.

But I’m only doing it for Alice.”

“Fine.

But you need to make peace with his presence or risk not having Skye in your life,” she warned.

Fitz shot Skye a glare. “You’re taking him back already?”

Skye rolled her eyes before stealing the flask back and finishing it off. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

“Of course not, how dare I think it’s a horrible idea?” Fitz muttered.            

“This is not the time for this.”

“And when would be the time, Trip? After you abandon us again?” Fitz argued.

“No, tomorrow when I move back in and am stuck with your moody ass again,” Trip snapped.

“You’re doing what?” Hunter screeched. “Why would you do something so stupid?”

Trip glanced in Skye’s direction and she tried not to meet Hunter’s gaze. Trip had come back for her and she felt guilty enough already. He had his freedom and a good gig working for Tony and a real life; he didn’t need to be stuck here with the rest of them.

“I’m a spy, not a babysitter for the Avengers,” he answered with a shrug.

Phil snorted, and Skye smirked in his direction. He’d been their last babysitter and it hadn’t ended well for him.

“Antoine, you got out,” Hunter shook his head. “Why you, Bobbi, and Jemma don’t leave is just…”

Jemma stared down at the floor guiltily, arms crossed, and Hunter seemed to regret his words.

Skye glanced at Trip, wondering if he knew what this was about, but he shook his head in confusion.

“I’m just glad you’re all here where you belong,” her dad clapped Trip on the back. “Mack’s coming home this week and soon Izzy and Idaho will be back, and we’ll have the whole team back together.”

“Sir, about that,” Jemma began but Hunter shook his head.

“Not now, Jem.”

“Not now for what,” a worried Fitz asked.

“Nothing,” Hunter muttered.

Fitz ignored him. “Jemma?”

“It’s nothing, I just need to talk to the director about something.

Can I come by your office tomorrow, sir?”

“Why don’t we go talk now,” he offered.

“Don’t be silly, sir. It’s your granddaughter’s birthday. You should enjoy yourself.”

Fitz, in full panic mode, began to shake. “Jemma, what’s going on?” 

“We can talk about this later tonight,” Jemma whispered, placing a gentle hand on his chest. “We have a few things to discuss.”

“Then let’s go right now,” he insisted, voice breaking.

Jemma twitched in annoyance and Skye could see her battling her temper. “I told you, now is not the time.”

“You thought it was the time sixty seconds ago!”

“Fitz! Not. Now.”

Jemma went pale as Skye began feeling sick to her stomach.

“Jem?” Skye whispered, touching her arm. “Are you… _oh_.” She blinked, surprised she hadn’t figured it out sooner. But now, thanks to her magical emotion sensor that she could no longer turn off, she finally understood why Jemma had been such an emotional wreck lately.

Jemma shook her head in a panic, begging Skye not to say anything with her eyes.

“Go,” Skye whispered, knowing she couldn’t fight being sick much longer.

“Jemma, you’re turning green. Someone get me a trashcan.”

“I’m fine, Fitz,” she argued, shoving past him. “Just leave me alone for a few minutes.”

“No, I’m coming to take care of you.”

“Stop suffocating me!” She snapped. “I feel like I’m drowning! I don’t need you around all the time!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize me loving you was killing you.” Poor, wounded Fitz looked ready to break down right there in front of everyone.

Skye’s heart broke. None of them could understand how much pain Fitz was in every day. But she could. She couldn’t hide from it anymore. For better or for worse she was stuck with these empath powers and everyone else’s pain on top of her own.

“It is when I never get a bloody break from you!”

“That’s not my fault, Jemma. Where the hell else am I supposed to go?”

“No, you’re right, I’m the one that should go.”

Fitz was about to be sick. She’d left him once, Skye wasn’t sure he could survive it a second time.

“Jem, I know we’re all tired of each other but-”

“Oh, piss off,” she muttered, closing her eyes to fight off a wave off nausea.

“Love, you’re sick, you should lie down-”

“You’re my bloody boyfriend not my mother! Stop fussing over me.”

“For Christ’s sake, woman! Let me take care of you for once!”

“I don’t need you to take care of me! I’m a grown woman! And a brilliant scientist! And I’ve been wasting my life hiding on this damn base when I could be out in the real world!”

“You think I don’t know that? That I don’t know you’re only here because you feel guilty and like you have to take care of me? Do you think I like having to rely on you so much because I can’t function on my own? Because I don’t. I’m supposed to be the one taking care of you. Instead I’m a burden. I don’t want to be, and I’m trying my best to take care of you the best I can, but you never let me. I know you’re strong as hell, Jemma, but you’ve got to let other people take care of you sometimes. You can’t always be the one mothering everyone.”

“Oh, spare me the pity party, I’ve had enough of it for a lifetime,” Jemma mocked, growing moodier by the second.

“Jemma, that’s enough,” Skye insisted, needing to stop her before she said something she’d regret. “You should go lie down.”

“You all fuss too much,” Jemma muttered, swaying in place.

“Jemma Anne, I will throw you over my damn shoulder if I have to,” Hunter warned. 

Placing a hand around her middle, Skye could see her fighting off the urge to be sick again. Stupid, stubborn Jemma. “I’m fine now,” she lied.

“Love, please,” Fitz begged, placing a hand on her lower back. “Come lie down for a few minutes and drink some ginger ale to settle your stomach.”

“She needs a cool towel too,” Hunter fussed, placing a hand on her forehead.

Jemma slapped his hand away, cheeks growing redder.

“I’m so sick of you two crowding around me all the time! I’m sick of all of you!” She admitted, her emotions getting the better of her. “I never get a moment of peace in this place! It’s why I’m leaving!”

As soon as she yelled her secret, Skye could feel Jemma’s regret washing over her.

“I didn’t mean that,” Jemma stammered. “I’m just exhausted.”

A wounded Fitz blinked at her for a long moment. “What do you mean leaving? Leaving where?”

Jemma began to hyperventilate as she battled an oncoming panic attack. “Tony… offered…job.” Jemma struggled to breathe and shook out her hands as she regained her composure.

“So, you were just going to go and not tell me?”

“I didn’t know if I was going to take it or not!”

“But now you are?” Fitz clutched his chest, growing pale.

“I…” Jemma couldn’t finish her sentence, but Skye knew: Jemma was going.

“You’re leaving me?”

“Fitz,” Jemma whispered, reaching for him but he jerked away from her.

“Don’t touch me.”

Jemma’s eyes filled with tears and she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

“I’m sorry,” she cried after a moment.

“You’re leaving me,” Fitz whispered, still not believing it.

Skye knew Jemma wanted to comfort him but her poor little body couldn’t fight the sickness anymore and she threw a hand over her mouth before rushing out of the room, Hunter on her heels.

She took a moment to let everything sink in before turning to Fitz, close to tears.

“Fitz,” she whispered, placing a hand on his arms, shocked to find she couldn’t feel a single emotion coming from him; it was as if he was dead inside.

“Tony, I’m going to fucking kill you,” her dad yelled, making her jump.

He stormed out of the room, phone glued to his ear, so she assumed Tony was on the other end or her dad had finally snapped.

“Did you know about this?” Skye asked Trip, already knowing the answer.

He was just as stunned as she was. “I wouldn’t have come back if I had. She needs someone to look out for her.”

Fitz’s entire body began to shake as he fell into a chair.

Skye wrapped her arms around him and held him close, doing her best not to cry.

“It’ll be okay, Fitz,” she lied, stroking his hair.

“I lost her,” he whispered numbly.

“Trip, can you make sure my daughter stays occupied for a few minutes?” She didn’t want anyone else to walk in on Fitz sobbing in her arms.

Trip nodded, giving Fitz a sympathetic look as left.

Moving to her knees, Skye met his gaze as he wiped at his eyes.

“Jemma’s been struggling lately, Fitz. She’s not really leaving, she just…” Oh fuck, she couldn’t lie to him.

“I know, but,” Fitz reached into his shirt pocket, still crying. After a minute of fumbling with what was inside, Skye reached over to help him.

“Let me,” she offered but he was too fucking stubborn.

Fitz finally managed on his own but couldn’t keep a grip and the item he was so desperate to show her fell to the floor and once Skye saw what it was she felt worse.

“Oh Fitz,” Skye lifted the black box from the floor carefully and stared up at him sadly. “Is this what you were up to today?”

Fitz wiped at his eyes angrily. “I feel stupid now.”

“You’re not stupid,” Skye insisted.

She knew that was how he saw himself now, because of his disability, but it wasn’t true. He was still smart and capable and wonderful. Maybe he was a little broken but weren’t they all?

“I’m out three grand because I can’t take the damn thing back because it’s a custom order,” he chuckled bitterly.

Skye shot him a glare, unamused with his self-deprecation.

“May I?”

Fitz nodded, and Skye opened the box to find a ring that screamed ‘Jemma’ and she could feel her heart breaking.

Jemma had been so worried she and Fitz didn’t have a future and all along he’d been planning to surprise her.

“Look inside,” Fitz whispered.

Skye took it out to find there was an inscription.

_Your dreams are the same as mine._

Skye covered her mouth with a smile, trying not to cry.

“Fitz, this is beautiful. How long have you been planning this?”

“Months,” he admitted with a shrug. “I was going to ask her on New Year’s Eve…our anniversary…which I guess we’re not going to make it to.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jemma loves you.”

“She feels like I’m weighing her down.”

Skye sighed. “Fitz, we all knew there was only so much she could take before she broke. All that girl does is take care of everyone else while neglecting to do the same for herself. And you’re right, she doesn’t let anyone take care of her in return. She just needs a break and once she takes it she’ll come around.”

“What if she doesn’t? I can’t lose her, Skye. I’m not as strong as you; I don’t think I could survive it.”

Skye took Fitz’s face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. “That girl is so stupidly in love with you, dumbass. The only reason she’s even considered leaving you is because she’s afraid the two of you don’t have a real future. I guarantee that if you got down on one knee right now she’d say ‘yes’.

Relationships are hard and take work, you know that.

Give her time to cool off and then talk to her. You guys can work it out.

But only if you can stop being such a moody manbaby. I know you’re struggling but you shouldn’t take it out on her.”

Fitz stared down at his lap sadly. “I don’t mean to, it’s just…If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone? Not even Trip?”

Skye was sick of secrets, but she nodded, knowing Fitz needed her.

“For the past six months I’ve been seeing a specialist your dad and Tony found for me. He got me into a clinical trial for a drug to treat my nerve damage, but it hasn’t helped. And one of its side-effects is that it can cause depression and mood swings and make you lose interest in things like sex,” he muttered, embarrassed. “I don’t mean to pick fights with her, but you know how she gets when she just keeps pushing you, and anytime I couldn’t make love to her she just insisted I must be mad at her and…” Fitz sighed.

“Fitz,” Skye shook her head. “Why would you try something so risky?”

“For Jemma.”

She sighed. “But you were doing fine in physical therapy.”

“But I wasn’t! I can’t even hold a damn ring, Skye! I can’t give her a real life when I can’t even control this,” he stammered, holding his tremoring hands out for her to see. “It’s bad enough my mind is still slow, but I can’t even hold my niece. She’s three and I’ve never held her, Skye. Because we all know I’d just drop her.

How am I supposed to start a family with Jemma and live our life never holding our children?

She deserves better than a husband who’s broken.”

Skye slipped the ring back into his pocket with a shake of her head. “Jemma doesn’t care about any of that. She wants to have a family, with you. Life isn’t perfect. The two of you will learn to deal with whatever comes. But first you need to tell her all of this.”

“You heard her, she’s leaving. And I don’t blame her.”

“Fitz, trust me, you want to fight for her,” she insisted. “It’s all she wants, for you to fight to save this relationship. If you sit back and let her walk away, you’ll regret it.”

“What if I can’t fix this?”

“You will.

Now go make sure she’s okay then prove to her you’re all in.”

Skye held out a hand for him and he took it before standing.

“Listen, Skye, about Ward-”

“Fitz,” she warned.

“Are you really taking him back?”

Skye rolled her eyes before shrugging. “I don’t know, Fitz.

I love him and…I know none of you can understand this, because you’re not parents, but we made a person. A little, perfect, beautiful person. And this wasn’t some one-night stand, we really loved each other, and we made a little miracle because of it. We’re always going to have this bond.

Someday soon, when you and Jemma have your child, you’re going to understand.”

“You’re right, I don’t understand. Just because you love him doesn’t mean he deserves you.”

Skye smiled. “Oh, he definitely doesn’t deserve me, but…” She sighed.

“You love him.”

“I love him.”

“Just be careful. I don’t want your or Alice getting hurt. I love you.”

“I love you too, Fitz,” Skye whispered, kissing his cheek.

“And…I don’t expect you to ever forgive him, but I need to know that when I’m ready to take him back you’ll support it, because aside from making sure he can handle being a dad, the only thing holding me back is you. Ward might be my soulmate but you’re my brother and if I have to pick between the two of you, I’ll pick you again.”

“Skye…do you think I’d ever cut you out of my life? Over that asshole?”

“I don’t know, if Jemma leaves I’m pretty sure you’ll go with her and we’ll never see the two of you again.”

Fitz pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Skye smiled. “Good, now I won’t have to kick your ass.”

“Just promise me that you’ll make Ward work for it.”

“Do I look that easy?” Skye chuckled, mildly offended.

“You let him knock you up on the first date,” Fitz said seriously.

“Fuck off,” Skye laughed, shoving him away. “Now, go and win back our girl because if she leaves I really will kick your ass.”

“Fine, try not to fuck Ward while I’m gone,” he teased.

“Asshole!” Skye called after him, before adding: “And don’t propose! Make sure it’s special and not after she’s been puking everywhere!”

Skye cringed, knowing Fitz was impulsive enough not to listen, even with all his planning.

Once she was finally alone, Skye collapsed into the nearest chair, emotionally drained. She couldn’t keep doing this, she had to find some way to learn how to control her powers before she had another nervous breakdown. Especially since this time there was a good chance Jemma wouldn’t be here to nurse her through it.

Skye pressed her fist to her mouth to stifle a sob, but it was too late, she couldn’t hold this all in and for the third year in a row she found herself succumbing to uncontrollable wailing on what should be the anniversary of the happiest day of her life.

She felt arms wrap around her from behind and she cried harder as she pressed her face into Natasha’s neck.

“Whoever did this is dead,” Nat said seriously, running her fingers through Skye’s hair.

Skye laughed. “I wish it was that easy to fix.”

“It can be.”

Skye glanced up to find Wanda staring down at her with a sad smile. “I will train you and the little one to keep the noise out.”

Relief washed over Skye. “Thank you.”

“And do not worry, we will look after Jemma.”

And the tears were back. Fitz wasn’t the only one who couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.

Nat hugged her tighter. “I give it a week before Tony drives her to quit and she’s right back here,” she offered as Wanda joined in on the hugging. “Or you, Bobbi, and the kid come with her and we kick out all the men.”

If only she could bear to leave her parents, because that didn’t sound like the worst idea.

“Can you believe my asshole husband left me in the middle of a parking lot to get these by myself? This is why I divorced him twi-” Bobbi dropped the balloons on the table with a sigh. “Oh honey,” she said, joining the trip on the armchair, wrapping her arms around them all.

Skye could barely breathe, but she didn’t care; she needed the emotional support more than the physical comfort.

“I love you guys,” Skye whispered, grateful for her friends.

“We love you too,” Bobbi said, kissing her temple. “Now, get your shit together for your kid. You can do this. And then later, when she’s asleep, you come to my room and I’ll have tequila and you can cry as long as you need to.”

Skye chuckled though a sob. At least when Jemma left she’d still have Bobbi, not that it quelled the aching in her chest.

“Can I get a shot of that now?”

Bobbi smiled. “Coming right up, gorgeous.

And while I’m gone talk these two into staying for a drunken sleepover,” she teased with a wink before disappearing into the kitchen.

Skye smiled before taking a few deep breaths, bracing herself for the emotionally draining night to come.


	25. (Skye) She’s Imperfect, But She Tries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t want to alarm anyone but there’s a lot of adorableness within.

An hour later the party was in full swing and a slightly buzzed Skye sat on the arm of the sofa taking video of her little one making flower crowns with her boyfriend and grandpa.

Alice glanced up at Skye with a toothy grin, making Skye smile.

Her tiny bean was perfect and too adorable for words. She made the pain Skye struggled with every single day worth it. And as blessed as Skye was to be her mom, on days like today it was hard to forget the trauma she’d endured on the road to getting there. Her birthday deserved to be celebrated because her birth was a miracle, but it was also a painful, yearly reminder of the worst day of Skye’s life.

A phantom pain shot through her middle at the memory. Skye absent-mindedly placed a hand over the scar her father had gifted her with when he’d cut her open and ripped her child away from her.

Skye forced her eyes shut as the sound of her own screams filled her ears.

_No. Not now. Not today._

She needed to keep it together for her kid. She could fall apart later-in private.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, she slowly opened her eyes and focused her attentions on her mini-me.

Alice was now twirling to show off her flower crown and babbling for her grandpa to make more tea.

Skye wasn’t sure which was cuter: her kid going around ordering grown men to sit down for tea time or mini-Natasha loyally trailing behind her like he was her royal guard.

Dimitri ‘Dimka’ Romanova-Barton was three months younger than Alice, already brooding and quiet, and worshipped the ground one Alice Linn Ward walked on. He adored Alice and did everything she told him to, like a good, loyal soldier. The only person he seemed to love more was his mother. If he wasn’t trailing behind his girlfriend it was because he was glued to his mother’s lap.

Sometimes, when she watched them together, and she saw how much Dimitri loved his adoptive mother, Skye began to doubt her own decision to keep Alice. Being separated from her would have literally killed Skye and she was grateful every single day that Fitzsimmons had made sure they weren’t, but it didn’t stop her from dwelling on her own shortcomings. Because at the end of the day, it didn’t matter how much Skye loved her or how much more she wanted to give her, the truth was Alice deserved a better life than the one Skye was currently capable of giving her.

“I love you, mama!” Alice cried as she threw herself around Skye, taking her by surprise.

“I love you too, baby girl.” Skye hugged her back tightly, burying her face in her curls.

It was selfish, but Skye loved her too much to let her go. And she’d tried, hard, to stay away from her at first, but the moment she held her in her arms for the first time she knew she’d never let her go again.

Alice pulled away with a giggle and kissed Skye’s cheek before skipping over to Hunter.

“Uncle Lance! Come!” She held her hand out for him to take. “Time for tea!”

Hunter took her hand as he moved to his knees and met her eyes with a crooked smile. “Oy, I’ll have tea, but I’m not putting on a dress,” he teased, motioning to Trip who was wearing a tutu. Not that Trip seemed to mind: Alice served cookies with her teas and he was already on his fourth.

Alice stared back at her godfather with a smirk. “Okay, but you have to wear a crown,” she ordered before skipping away, her giggles filling the room.

“Tiny terrorist,” he growled as he chased after her. She squealed loudly when he caught her and began tickling her.

“Get him, Dimka!” She yelled, squirming to get away.

Dimitri, nerf archer set in hand, began hitting Hunter with fake, foam arrows.

Hunter, never one to shy away from dramatics, fell to the floor, clutching his imaginary wounds while screaming for someone to avenge his death.

Skye collapsed against a couch cushion, laughing so hard her side began to hurt.

“Looks like someone’s having a good time.”

Skye felt him approach before he spoke, but it didn’t stop her heart from skipping a beat.

She turned to meet his eyes, failing to control the racing of her heart. “It’s her birthday, of course she is.”

“I meant you.”

Skye couldn’t help but blush.

“You came.”

“I promised I would.”

“I thought maybe I scared you away,” she teased.

“Oh, you terrify me,” he admitted with a smile. “But I’m kind of into it.”

Skye snorted and rolled her eyes. He was such an idiot.

“I come bearing gifts,” he offered, holding up a wrapped box and a gift bag. “Where should I put them?”

Skye ignored the butterflies in her stomach as she took them. “You really didn’t have to get her anything. Your presence is more than enough. She’s low-maintenance like that.”

“I know,” he shrugged, “but she deserves it.”

Why was he like this? Adorable and wonderful and _hot_?

Her defenses were already weak, and it didn’t help that she could feel how much he loved her and the kid.

The truth was she knew she loved him, she’d never stopped loving him, and she didn’t just love the memory of him. She loved him now. The man who was willing to take responsibility for his actions and was working hard on doing and being better and who, despite having no reason to, genuinely loved her kid.

But she meant what she’d said to him. She wasn’t sure she trusted him, not yet. Skye could survive another heartbreak, but it was her baby’s heart she was worried about. She wasn’t ready to risk it, not until she was sure he could really handle this. It was one thing to be there for the good times and the fun and it was another thing to suffer through the sleep deprivation and constant worry and taking care of them when they were sick or having nightmares.

It was going to be hard, but she needed to take this slow, for Alice. Because what Skye wanted didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was what her kid needed.

“Oy,” Skye muttered with a shake of her head. The gift table was already overflowing, so she had to carefully get Ward’s gifts in there like she was playing Tetris. There were enough gifts here to open a damn store.

“So, you weren’t kidding when you said I didn’t need to get her anything?”

Skye snorted. “The sad part is half of these are from Hunter.” He spoiled her on the regular, but when it came to birthdays and holidays he went the extra mile.

Grant cringed. “Is this a bad time to tell you there were still some left in our room?”

Skye laughed until she met his eyes and realized he wasn’t kidding. “He has a sickness.” He was too damn much.

“I think he’s trying to buy her love,” Grant said seriously.

Skye shook her head with a smile. “It wouldn’t be the first time he had to pay for a woman’s affections.”

This got him to crack a smile.

“Hey, Ward,” Trip interrupted, clapping Grant hard enough on the back to send him jolting forward. “Did you have sex with my girl here and then buy her an engagement ring?”

Grant went white as a sheet as Skye’s palms went damp.

She’d suspected the ring she found tucked in one of his drawers had been meant for her, but she’d done her best to forget about it. She’d thrown it into a box with the rest of his things and locked them away. Out of sight, out of mind. Until earlier today when Hunter had gleefully announced that Ward had bought Skye an engagement ring and oh yeah, had Skye found it because Ward was shitting himself searching for it.

Skye was in no mood to watch her friends torture poor Grant. Yes, she wanted to know what in the hell he’d been thinking but if she was being honest with herself, she knew she would have said ‘yes’, so who was the real idiot here?

“Leave him alone,” Skye ordered.

“You know?” Grant whispered, about to pass out.

Skye wrinkled her nose before shrugging in embarrassment. “Yes?”

“That explains…Trip, I’m going to murder your boyfriend,” he said slowly, shooting a glare in Hunter’s direction.

Hunter wasn’t threatened. In fact, he began cackling loudly from his place on the floor, looking like an idiot as he rolled around in his flower crown with tears in his eyes.

“Ward, you’re supposed to date a girl before you propose,” her dad offered, glancing up from his cup of tea with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Skye was going to kill them all. What if they teased him so much he had a breakdown or something? What would she do then?

A loud snort filled the air.

“Says the man who proposed to me because I was pregnant,” her mother said, giving her ex-husband a ‘look’.

“But we dated for years before you ran off and married someone else, Melinda! And the first time I proposed it was romantic!” He yelled indignantly, earning him a grin from his ex-wife. 

“Ignore them Ward,” her mom said with a smile as she glanced over at him. “Just take my daughter out on a few dates before you whip it out.”

Grant swayed in place, close to passing out from embarrassment.

“The ring?” He asked dumbly, and her mom gave him a ‘look’ before glancing down at the always present bulge in his jeans with a shrug.

“Sure, we’ll go with that.”

Now Skye was the one ready to pass out.

“Is ‘pregnant’ when a mommy has a baby in her tummy?” Alice asked inquisitively, staring up at Skye.

Skye panicked, not ready for this conversation.

“Yes, it is, angel,” her dad answered, saving Skye from trying to awkwardly think of a suitable answer.

“Oh, okay,” Alice said, seemingly satisfied with his answer. But then, a moment later: “Papa? How come lăolao was pregnant with mama when you not married to her?”

Skye leaned down and ruffled Alice’s curls with a nervous smile. “Baby, now isn’t the time for this conversation.”

“But I confused. I thought a baby comes when a mommy and daddy or mommy and mommy or daddy and daddy are in a love and want to have a baby. I no understand how lăolao and papa were in love and had you, but other grandpa is your daddy too, because lăolao no like my other grandpa.”

Skye needed tequila; _all_ of the tequila.

“Because, baby girl, I did love your other grandpa but then I found out he was a bad, bad man and grandpa Phil adopted your mommy because he loved her so much.” Melinda offered, showing far more composure than Skye expected from her. She was sure that on this inside Melinda wanted to track down her ex and kill him (not that this was different than any other day).

Alice thought about it for a moment before ‘hmphing’. “So, like Auntie Nat and Uncle Clint adopted Dimka?”

“Kind of, baby girl, except papa adopted your mommy because lăolao was already her mommy,” Coulson offered.

“Oh, okay.” She sing-songed, apparently satisfied because her attentions were now on Grant. Her entire face lit up the moment she realized he had arrived and she forgot all about her other guests.

“Mister Grant! You MUST have tea!” She cried out as she rushed over to take his hand and pull him towards her tea set.

A smile played on his lips as he did his best not to laugh. “Well, if I MUST,” he said seriously as he followed her. He sat down obediently and allowed her to jump up and throw a crown on his head and wrap him up in a rainbow boa all while complimenting the imaginary tea she served him.

Skye silently took the flask her mom offered her, needing the liquid courage. Maybe Jemma was right about Alice being on the genius spectrum. This kid was way too smart, and Skye was going to die of a heart attack if she kept surprising her with inquisitions like that.

She took another drink and watched Grant interact with Alice, a longing pain filling her chest. This was how it was supposed to be, and she didn’t know how to fix the mess they’d made. Or how to keep from bursting into tears.

Skye chugged the rest of the flask, needing that vacation.

Melinda wrapped her arms around Skye and pressed a kiss to her temple. “I hate him and if you say the word, I _will_ kill him. You know he’s not worthy of you and you deserve better, right?”

“Yes, mom.” Skye groaned in response as she shook her head, in no mood for another lecture about why Grant Ward was the devil and she’d been an idiot to fall for him in the first place. 

“But,” she continued through gritted teeth, struggling to get her words out.

Skye could feel waves of her mother’s hatred for Grant coming off of her, leaving Skye uncomfortable.

Melinda took a deep breath to calm herself.

“But,” she repeated, “it’s not too late for the two of you to fix things. She wants her father and it’s not like he’s as bad as some, so he at least has that going for him.”

Was that a compliment? From her mother? Skye wished Grant was here to hear it. Then again, he’d probably faint, and they didn’t need that tonight.

“I want you and my grandchild to be happy and for some reason you both seem to want him around so if he’s what it’s going to take for you and my overly-precocious granddaughter to be happy then I will learn to tolerate his presence.”

Precocious didn’t even begin to cover it and-Wait. Had her mother just given Grant Ward her blessing?

Skye blinked in surprise before recovering in true May fashion.

“Did that physically hurt for you to say?” She teased, knowing it had been. She could feel her own insides twisting up into a sick knot and she knew this feeling wasn’t her own.

“I need more tequila,” she replied, shaking the empty flask.

“I love you, mom.” Skye wrapped both arms around her neck and kissed her cheek before resting her chin on her shoulder. “And while I appreciate that you love me enough to accept Ward, you don’t have to worry about that tonight.”

Melinda kissed the top of her head and began toying with Skye’s curls. “I mean it, baby; I won’t even threaten to kill him unless you tell me to.”

They were making so much progress, it was amazing.

“I’m scared, mom,” Skye admitted. “There’s a lot for us to work through and if we get back together I need to tell him everything and I don’t know how to dump something like that on him,” she whispered sadly. “And what if I tell him everything and he’s able to handle it and we’re able to work through it all and we become a family and then,” Skye didn’t even want to jinx herself by saying it out loud. “I’m terrified the moment we’re happy something horrible is going to happen.

I can’t bear the thought of her losing him.” Skye knew her father would kill him just to hurt her. “Or worse…” Could Grant handle raising Alice on his own if Skye was the one who bit it?

Her mom cupped Skye’s cheek, using a thumb to wipe away a stray tear. “I understand needing to put your child first and being scared, but you can’t let it keep you from living your life. Do you think I could have ever imagined losing you? We can’t predict the future and worrying about the ‘what-ifs’ doesn’t do us any good.

I hate seeing you so unhappy and I don’t care what we have to do to fix it, but we’re going to because you deserve happiness, Margaret.”

Skye choked back a sob. “You’re the best mom.”

“You’re pretty good yourself.”

“Being a mom just really sucks sometimes,” Skye admitted, hating the constant worry that came with the job.

Melinda smiled and wiped away another tear as she stared down at her fondly. “It does, but then you look at your beautiful, amazing little girl and remember that every single sacrifice and gray hair is worth it.”

Great, Skye was ten seconds away from bawling at her child’s birthday party. “I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, baby,” she whispered, pulling Skye closer to kiss her temple.

Skye rested her head on her mom’s shoulder, slowly relaxing as they watched the little one play. Alice was having the time of her life showing Grant how to put his pinkie out to sip his tea and he looked like he was genuinely having a good time. It was hard not to, with the cutest kid alive giving you her undivided attention.

It didn’t matter how hard all of this was, Skye would never go back and change it. Loving this little person made all the bad stuff worth it. 


	26. (Skyeward) She Is Good, But She Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to all my saltmates who put up with me during the rewrites and who helped me out with input and reading them.

Grant stood in front of his bathroom mirror, grooming his beard for the fifth time since his shower. He hadn’t felt this nervous in years, not since Coulson had surprised him with that truth serum and he’d let it slip to Skye that she was pretty. Sure, he’d been a goner the moment he’d laid eyes on her, but after his confession he’d lost what little power he had in their relationship.

A part of him wondered if anyone would even notice if he didn’t show up but then he remembered how much that beautiful little girl’s eyes had lit up when he’d promised he would and he knew he couldn’t disappoint her. Besides, if he was going to prove to Skye that he could do this he had to show up instead of hiding in his room like the coward he was.

“Ugh,” he groaned, knowing his disgusting beard needed to go sooner rather than later.

No wonder Skye didn’t want to date him: he looked like the bushman.

He took another long look at his repulsive reflection before gathering what little courage he had left and headed for the lion’s den.

The gifts in his hands slipped as he made his way to the common room. His palms had gone sweaty from nerves. He’d never done well in social situations off the clock and he wasn’t looking forward to being stuck in a room filled with people who hated him. Sure, the team was pretending, for Skye’s sake, but what about the people outside the team who were attending? Would they be so willing to play nice?

His doubts went out the window the moment he walked in to find mini-Skye making a fool of Hunter while Skye laughed. He smiled. He’d missed that sound. She had the most beautiful laugh in the world. Hearing it made whatever awkwardness he was about to endure worth it.

And when the teasing came and went he found it wasn’t as bad as he’d made it out to be in his head. Sure, he wanted to die from embarrassment, but Skye had come to his defense which made the butterflies in his stomach flutter in a good way and now her little princess was somehow managing to charm him even more than she already had as she hosted tea for him.

“More tea?” Alice asked innocently, making Grant felt the warm, gooey feeling in his heart again. What a miracle it was to get to witness this tiny human’s existence and to be a part of it.

“Of course, your highness.”

Alice giggled as she glanced up with a big smile at someone behind him. A moment later Bobbi scooped her up and plastered kisses all over her face before telling her that Uncle Lance looked silly without lipstick to go with his crown.

Grant snorted into his tea as Alice loudly agreed, pulling a stick of a bright red shade from a bedazzled mini-purse at her side.

Bobbi set her down, crossing her arms with a smug smirk as Alice did her best to put the lipstick on Hunter’s lips. Of course, being only three, all she managed to do was get it everywhere but his mouth.

Hunter glared at Bobbi until Alice announced she was done and he looked beautiful. He plastered on fake smile and thanked her before grumbling to himself about Bobbi being a ‘bloody menace’.

“Perfect, baby girl. He looks ready to go work down by the wharf,” Bobbi teased, giving him the finger when the kids looked away before sauntering off.

Coulson did his best not to chuckle but failed horribly, faking a cough into his teacup, his face turning bright red.

“Papa! Look!” Alice cried out, pointing across the room.

Grant choked on his cookie. Not because she was pointing at _the_ Captain America, but because at his side stood his former best friend and judging from the look she shot his way she was going to remain in the ‘former’ category.

Coulson reached for a napkin and aggressively began to wipe the lipstick off his face, leaving it blotchy and raw. He threw of his boa and crown and fixed his tie before patting down his hair. “Excuse me, princess” he stammered before rushing over to greet his hero.

Grant caught Skye watching Coulson with a look of horror on her face, and they all watched as Coulson began to make a fool of himself.

“Papa silly,” Alice giggled, picking up his boa and throwing it over her own neck dramatically. “Mama says papa has a ‘man crush’ on Uncle Steve,” she informed him in a very Hermione Granger-like tone. “But isn’t man crush when two boys kissy, like Uncle Lance and Uncle Trip? Papa does kissies with lăolao, not Uncle Steve.”

Grant suddenly understood the panic Skye must have felt earlier when this little future know-it-all had ambushed her, but thankfully Hunter came to his rescue.

Hunter plucked her off the ground and set her down in his lap, handing her a cookie. “When two boys kiss it’s because they’re gay, or bisexual, but your mum can explain all of that to you when you’re older. A man crush is when…” He sighed and made a face, trying to find the words to explain.

“Think about how you would feel if you met Mulan, short stack.”

Grant glanced up to find tiny Katie Bishop towering over him.

Sure, she was small, but she was feisty, and she could kick his ass-which she would probably do once there were no children around to traumatize.

“I WANNA MEET MULAN!” Alice screeched as she threw herself around Kate’s legs in excitement. “Do you know Mulan? Does she live in Disneyland? I want to go now!”

Kate laughed and leaned down to bop Alice’s nose with a smile. “I’m sorry, kiddo, but the real Mulan lived a long time ago. But do you see how excited you got just thinking about meeting her? That’s how your grandpa feels when he sees Uncle Steve. That’s a man crush.”

Alice giggled loudly. “That why papa act like idiot? ‘Cause he wanna go on adventures with Uncle Steve?”

Kate shrugged. “Sure, something like that.”

“You the smartest, Auntie Kate.”

“This is very true,” Kate answered seriously.

“Dimka! Auntie Kate says papa is an idiot!” Alice announced before running over to where he was coloring with his mother.

“What? It’s the truth.” Kate shrugged in response to the glare Coulson shot her way. “I don’t have to kiss his ass like the rest of you do. I’m not a SHIELD agent anymore. He’s not the boss of me.”

“Yeah, because Fury was the only one willing to put up with your shit,” Hunter teased.

“Oh please, if Fury was still in charge you wouldn’t all be living underground like animals. Hell, let’s be honest, Maria’s the real one in charge these days, she and Tony just let Coulson keep pretending to keep him busy while they do all the real work to get this shithole back up and running.”

“Oy, just because you’re off playing with the Avengers doesn’t mean the rest of us aren’t doing real work here!”

Kate ignored Hunter, in no mood to fight with a child, and shifted her attentions to Grant.

Grant suddenly felt sick to his stomach and even sweatier. He’d never done well with women who could kick his ass and he wondered if she could still outrun him.

“Well, well, well. Would you look at my wrist? It’s time to go endure more verbal abuse from my ex-wife. Have fun, kids,” Hunter sassed before running away like the cowards he was, which Grant hissed at him as he rushed by.

With a sigh, he took a moment to find his courage before glancing up to meet Kate’s hate-face sheepishly.

“Get up, Douglas,” Kate ordered. “You’re a grown ass man in a flower crown playing with dolls on the floor with no kids around; it’s creepy.”

So, they were doing this? In front of witnesses?

Grant removed the crown and boa and brushed the glitter off his pants before moving to his feet to stand awkwardly in front of Kate. He had nearly a foot on her, but she still managed to tower over him, just like when they were kids.

Prepared to receive a verbal lashing, she took him by surprise by throwing her arms around him, taking his breath away-literally. She’d always been freakishly strong for a munchkin.

“Katie, can’t breathe,” he muttered.

“Good,” Kate snarked, hugging him tighter.

Resting his chin on the top of her head, he hugged her back while doing his best not to cry. They’d survived hell together and allowing John to keep them apart was one of the biggest regrets of his life.

“Katherine!” He cried out in pain as she punched him.

“You deserve it.”

“Still a violent little pixie,” he complained, nursing his sore arm.

“Do you know how hard it was to find your dumbass? And how expensive it was? The least you could have done was write me back. You owe me ten grand for the P.I. I hired.”

Grant shook his arm out, still trying to shake off the sting. “You didn’t have to do that, Katie. You could have asked Coulson.”

“Oh, fuck Coulson! He’s an asshole!”

Grant glanced in Coulson’s direction nervously, hoping he hadn’t heard her. The last thing he needed was to get on Skye’s dad’s bad side.

“So, you asked him, and he said ‘no?”

Kate pouted angrily.

“Don’t change the subject,” she hissed, poking him in the chest. “Did you forget how to use a pen in prison, Douglas?”

So tiny. So violent. So freakishly strong.

“Stop,” he whined, knowing she’d already given him two bruises. “I’m fragile.”

“You’re a man child.”

“And you’re mean-Oww!”

There she was, poking again and did she really need to pinch him in front of everyone? They weren’t thirteen anymore.

“Answer my question and I’ll stop.”

Grant caught her hand before she could poke him again. “Fine, I didn’t know what to say, okay?”

“Ohhhhhhh, he didn’t know what to say?” She mocked, rolling her eyes. “Because here I thought it was because you were a sack of dicks who’s afraid of girls but now everything makes sense.”

“Still classy as ever, Katie.”

“And you’re a thirty-four-year-old idiot,” she muttered with a shake of her head.

“I’m sorry,” he offered lamely, feeling bad. “I know I should have tried but…I fucked up Kate. I fucked up big time and you were the only one who loved me enough to still bother with me and I was afraid I’d say the wrong thing and lose you too.”

Kate stared up at him in disappointment. “Of _course_ I still love you, dumbass! Just because you aren’t capable of making intelligent decisions on your own doesn’t change that. You’re still my best friend, even if you are a disaster without me around to tell you what to do.”

“Thanks for the support, Katie,” he replied dryly.

“Oh, shut up, you love me.”

“I do,” he admitted. “And thank you. Even though I’m a coward, your letters helped. They reminded me that maybe I wasn’t a lost cause.”

“No, you are,” Kate said seriously. “There’s no cure for stupidity.”

“I can never win with you,” he muttered, feeling like a teenager again.

“Auntie Katie?” Alice asked, tugging on Kate’s hand to get her attention. “Are you done hurting my dad-uh, Mister Grant? It’s not nice and I made you something.” 

“Hey, I’m very nice,” Kate teased with a smile as she moved to her knees to fix Alice’s crown. “But sometimes Douglas here needs to be reminded who’s in charge.

So, what do you have there?”

Alice held out a flower crown made entirely of purple flowers, Kate’s favorite color.

“Amazing.” Kate took it with a smile. “This is going to go so well with my Hawkeye suit, short stack.”

“That’s what I told mama!”

“Let’s get this on, then,” Kate ordered, letting Alice put it on her head.

Grant smiled, suspecting she didn’t just have the ability to read minds but to make everyone feel joy.

Kate glanced up to find him watching them and began to frown. She looked away and tucked one of Alice’s curls behind her ear before kissing her cheek. “Do you have one of these for Auntie Wanda? I know she’d love one.”

“Yes! Hers is red!” Alice yelled in excitement before rushing off in search of her.

Kate smiled to herself sadly before standing.

“Katie, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” she lied. “Damn biological clock.”

“That’s bullshit,” he muttered. “This is me you’re talking to,” he reminded, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You can tell me anything.”

He knew she was hiding something but when she met his eyes she simply shrugged. “It’s not my place to say, Douglas. I’m sorry. I wish I could.”

“It’s okay,” he whispered. He understood the need to keep secrets. She wasn’t an agent anymore but once a spy always a spy. “But just remember I’m here for you. I’m pretty useless but I’ll do my best to help.”

“You aren’t useless,” Kate said with a smirk before kissing his cheek. “A dumbass, yes,” she teased, “but never useless.”

Grant could feel himself blush and he looked away in embarrassment.

“Come on, you look like you could use a cupcake or three and while we’re eating you can tell me what you were thinking buying Skye an engagement ring. That was a stupid move, even for you.”

Hunter was a dead man walking.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Just go make out with him already.”

Skye hadn’t noticed Hunter approach and she glanced up at him in annoyance. Sometimes he was just too much to deal with and after the stunt he’d pulled earlier, telling everyone about Grant’s shame, she was done with him for the day.

“Go away,” she ordered, taking another sip of her spiked drink.

“Why? So you can brood over Ward some more?”

“I am _not_ brooding!”

Maybe she _was_ glaring daggers in Kate’s direction right now, but that wasn’t any of Hunter’s business.

“I don’t blame you. Look at them, they’re ten seconds away from giving us a free fuck show,” he said dryly at the laughing pair.

Skye shot him a glare. “I hate you so much.”

“May I just remind you that Kate is your friend and Ward is pathetically in love with you. You don’t need to glare holes into her back,” he offered seriously. “It’s disgusting how the two of you can’t let go of each other.”

“This from the man who married Bobbi twice, was engaged to her three times, and still has hate-sex with her.”

“At least we’re fucking, Skye. It’s not healthy to go this long without getting off. The two of you just need to release some of that built up tension.”

Skye closed her eyes, feeling a migraine, and the urge to elbow Hunter in the face, coming.

“Hunter, you’re high off your ass if you think I’m stupid or desperate enough to take relationship advice from someone who’s dating the perfect man and yet can’t stop screwing his ex-wife on the side. You’re madly in love with her and refuse to admit it and Trip’s going to get hurt in the process.”

“We’re not here to discuss my love life.”

“No, just mine apparently. Everyone has an opinion when it comes to my life but never their own.”

“I’m trying to be serious Skye. Ward loves you. You and that kid are all he wants.

And we all know you’re thirsting to take a ride on that big dick, so you might as well get it over with. You’ll be less of a b-i-t-c-u-n-t after he makes you cum so hard you forget your own name.”

Skye’s cheeks went hot with anger and it took every ounce of self-control she possessed not to strangle Hunter right then and there in front of everyone.

“Lancelot, you’re not being helpful.” Wanda’s soothing voice filled the air as she approached, giving him a look of disapproval. “You can’t rush love. You of all people should know that. Two divorces and all.”

“Now you’re going to give me shit too?”

Wanda shrugged innocently. She was too adorable for even Lance to pretend to be mad at.

“You love Barbara and I don’t wish to see Antoine hurt. He’s my friend,” she whispered sadly. “He doesn’t see me as a freak, like the rest of the world.”

“You’re not a freak,” Skye insisted, feeling protective. “And the world can go fuck itself. You’re amazing.”

She smiled. “Thank you. You’re amazing too.”

Skye smiled and wrapped an arm around her before kissing her temple. “And don’t worry about Trip, I won’t let anyone hurt him, even Hunter,” she warned, glaring in his direction.

“All of you women are bloody menaces, you know that?”

“Yes, and if you idiot men behaved, we wouldn’t have to be,” Skye smirked.

“Piss off, I’m going to get another drink.”

Skye resisted the urge to give him the finger and instead finished her own drink.

“Jackass.”

“I’ve spoken to your father, and Tony, and they’ve found room for me. Antoine has offered me his bedroom until Mackenzie returns, at which time he hopes he will agree to a switch.”

“Little witch, you’re the best.” Skye was grateful. Wanda hadn’t had her powers much longer than Skye and she was still learning to cope with them but if anyone could help her control them it was her. And Skye would do anything to protect her kid.

“Anything for the little princess,” Wanda insisted with a smile, glancing back to where the kiddos were chasing each other around. “And for you.”

Skye gave her a smile before pulling her in for a hug. Magical freaks needed to stick together, after all.

“Lancelot is right,” Wanda whispered, holding onto Skye. “The child’s father loves you, and you love him.”

“Am I that obvious?” Skye whispered.

“No, but I can feel it. Your aura glows pink every time you look at him. And I understand why you would choose to ignore his love. I remember how difficult it was for you, during your recovery. Not just because of the little one but because you missed him, even though he hurt you.”

“But?” There was always a ‘but’.

Wanda pulled away and stared back at Skye with a small frown.

“There is also a sickly yellow interwoven into your aura. You’re afraid of being happy. Afraid it will be taken from you again. You cannot allow fear to control you. You’re a good person, you deserve happiness, but you’re running from it.”

“Can you blame me?” She’d been happy for five minutes with Grant before everything had come crashing down. And then, when she’d found a way to move on and be happy and hopeful for her future with her mini-Ward her father had destroyed that. What was the point in getting her hopes up again? Especially when she knew she was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“No, but what is the point of life if you do not enjoy it? I wish I could find a way to fix your fear.”

“You’re sweet, but I don’t think there’s a way to fix this.”

Wanda smiled in Grant’s direction. He was now on the sofa, watching Alice give Clint a make-over with a huge smile on his face. Skye couldn’t help but smile and Wanda glanced back at Skye with a mischievous smirk.

“Love has the power to fix most things.”

“Yeah, well it can’t fix this. He broke my heart, betrayed me, and abandoned me. I don’t trust people easily and I put all my trust in him and he destroyed it. Just because I can feel how much he loves us doesn’t mean he won’t hurt us again. It’s going to take time for me to learn to trust him again.”

“What if I could prove you can?” She offered slyly. “You read feelings, but I can read minds. Feelings are unreliable but not the subconscious, unless you can find a way to manipulate it.”

“No,” Skye said sternly. “I won’t do that to him.” He’d been through enough without someone literally picking through his brain.

“I would get his permission.”

“No. He’s too fragile.”

“You worry too much. He’s stronger than you want to believe. Because if he can handle your pain it means having no excuses to let him back and that terrifies you.”

“No one can handle this pain.” Skye couldn’t even deal with everything, how could he? “I’m not going to dump all of that on him and make him have a nervous breakdown.”

“If you let me poke around in his brain, I would be able to see how much he can handle. I know you, Skye, and you hate having to lie to him. Maybe he can handle the truth. And if he can’t, at least this way you can spare yourself the guilt.”

It was a nice thought, but Skye wasn’t ready for any of this.

“I don’t know why I’m asking you, he’s a big boy. He can make his own decisions.”

“Wanda, no,” Skye hissed but it was too late, she was already gliding across the room.

Skye could feel her heart trying to escape her chest and she felt sick.

“What’s wrong?” Robin asked, approaching Skye from the desert table. “You’re a red as a tomato.”

“Stop her!” Skye croaked, hands shaking.

Robin followed Skye’s gaze in confusion. “Stop her from doing what?”

“She’s going to poke around in his head! Make her stop before she breaks him!”

“Hmm. It won’t break him. In fact, it might even be good for him.”

“You’re a therapist, you shouldn’t be encouraging this!”

Oh, screw this. She’d put a stop to this herself.

“Wanda, don’t you dare,” Skye hissed, coming up on her from behind, afraid it was too late.

Wanda dismissed her with a wave of her hand.

“You’re one of the twins?” Grant asked, feeling guilty.

“Yes, so I know how easily Hydra manipulates our pain to control us.”

His ears went red and he stared down at his lap and Skye felt the overwhelming need to protect him.

“Wands, don’t do this,” Skye begged.

“Do what?” Kate narrowed her eyes on the pair, also feeling protecting of Grant.

“Skye is my friend,” Wanda said, looking down at him. “And if she is going to be with you I want to be assured that your intentions are pure. She, and the little one, have been through enough already. I will not them be hurt again.”

“ _No_ ,” Kate said sternly.

“He is a grown boy, Katerina. He can make his own decisions.”

“What are you asking?”

Wanda moved to her knees and held her hands out until they were just above his temples. “For you to let me take a small peek into your mind. It won’t hurt, and it will tell me if you can be trusted. It won’t take more than a minute.”

“No,” Skye and Kate said in unison, but Grant Ward was an idiot.

“Go for it.”

“Are you insane? Your brain’s broken enough without people poking around in there. And do you really want her to know everything about you?”

“Kate, I’m a big boy. And I don’t have secrets anymore. I’m done lying to the people I care about,” he whispered, looking up at Skye, making her heart race.

“He can handle it.”

Skye glared back at Robin. “You’re not helping.”

“He’s stronger than you all think,” she insisted. “And as long all you’re doing is reading his mind, and not manipulating it, he’ll be fine,” she said, staring down at Wanda with authority.

“I do not do that to friends anymore,” she insisted, placing both hands on either side of Grant’s head. “Close your eyes, breathe, and relax.”

“I can’t watch this,” Kate muttered, staring up at the ceiling while she clutched his hand.

Skye bit into her nails nervously as she wondered just how much of Grant’s painful past Kate had witnessed firsthand. After all, her loyalty to his was unwavering. There had to be a reason for it.

“Can she handle this?” Skye whispered to Robin, suddenly terrified Wanda would be the one hurt by this. What would experiencing his trauma do to her?

“She’s not as fragile as you think. She can handle this.”

When she pulled away from him a moment later, she had tears in her eyes.

Had it been that bad in there?

“You have survived so much but have found a way to embrace your pain to move on. Not everyone is capable of this. I’m proud of you,” Wanda commended with a smile. She stood and placed a kiss on his forehead. “You will care for our girls well.”

“Does this mean I have your blessing?”

“It’s not my blessing you need, but yes.”

He smiled to himself before looking up at her goofily. Skye couldn’t help but smile in return. Maybe they really could do it right this time.

“Come,” Wanda whispered, taking Skye’s hand. “We must speak alone.”

Skye glanced back to find Grant watching her like a sad puppy as she followed Wanda to a private corner.

“Wanda, what did you see in there?”

“That’s not my place to say, but I will tell you he is the real deal, as Katerina would say. But it’s not him I’m worried about, it’s you.”

Skye blinked in surprise. “Me? Why?”

“Because your problem was never him. It’s you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You still haven’t dealt with your own trauma.”

“I’m dealing just fine.”

Wanda crossed her arms sternly. “Are you telling me you’ve honestly been working through your issues with the therapist?”

Skye shifted uncomfortably. “I’ve…No. But I don’t need to relive all of that. That machine did enough to make me suffer through it again.”

Wanda sighed. “Your pain is so heavy it is consuming you. And you may not feel it, but the more you ignore it and try to shove it down, the more is leaks through and affects the little one. She feels your pain the way you feel everyone else’s. If you continue to not take care of your mind, it will not only destroy you but her.”

“I just need to learn to control my powers better-”

“Stop. Yes, you need to learn to control them, so she can learn, but what you need is to let the doctor help you.

You cannot keep dealing with this alone, Skye.”

“Fine, so I’ll tell Ward everything and-Why are you shaking your head at me like that?”

“Skye, have you ever been able to say out loud everything that happened to you?”

She shrugged. “No, but I mean…it’s not really anyone’s business but me and his. It’ll be different with him.”

“Will it? Or will you simply have another breakdown and terrify him?

He is stronger than you, and when you can finally speak the truth he will be able to handle it. What he cannot handle is losing you. And he will if you don’t get help. Your mind _will_ betray you again and this time you may not survive it. And then he will be left alone, raising a little girl who needs her mother, both of them destroyed.”

“Fine, but even if I work through this I can’t keep lying to him. I hate this,” Skye confessed. She’d been okay with it when she still hated him but now that she knew he wasn’t the monster she’d built up on her head, she couldn’t justify it anymore. “If I keep this from him much longer he’ll never forgive me.”

“Yes, he will. You’re not hiding the truth to hurt him but because you’re trying to protect yourself. He loves you, and he will forgive this.

The sooner you put in the work, the sooner you can be truly open with him.

And then your love will be stronger because you will bother be able to move on from your pain instead of inflicting it on the other.”

“You sound like a shrink, maybe I should be seeing you instead.”

Wanda smiled. “You don’t need me for that, you are in good hands.”

“I think so too,” Robin interrupted, appearing again.

“Isn’t it inappropriate for a shrink to eavesdrop on her patients?”

Robin rolled her eyes. “I just wanted to give you this,” she offered, holding out a box for Skye.

“I will leave the two of you alone and perhaps you will finally allow her to help you,” Wanda suggested before making her way towards Trip.

“She has a point.”

Skye rolled her eyes. “What’s this?”

“Sharon and I were cleaning out some of grandmother’s things that no one else had claimed and I thought you’d like these.”

Skye glanced back at her in confusion before opening the box. On top there was a photo album and as Skye skimmed through it she realized they were all pictures of Peggy and her mother. Skye stopped on one where Melinda was pregnant, and she had to take a moment to fight the urge to cry. She turned the page to find a picture of Peggy holding a familiar baby. Skye slipped it out of its sleeve and turned it over to find writing on the back.

_Margaret Carter and Margaret Coulson, 1988._

Skye smiled as she glanced back up at Robin. “Thank you. My mom will love these.”

“I know you don’t remember her, but I want you to know she really loved you. And your mom. She was never able to get over what happened and then towards the end, while the Alzheimer’s got worse, she relived it. I wish you could have met her. It may have given her some peace to see it worked out in the end.”

“Me too, I would have liked to have gotten to know her.” Not only was Peggy her godmother and namesake but Jemma worshipped her and was always rambling about how amazing she was. It would have been nice to know the legend who started this all.

“You would have loved her,” Robin whispered sadly, and Skye realized even the shrink had her demons.

“I’m sorry about Peggy.”

“Me too,” she said honestly. “Well, I will leave you to it. But if you decide you want to talk, I’ll be in my office late tonight.”

“Thanks,” Skye whispered, staring down at the box in her hands. Something shiny caught her eye and she set it down on the table and dug around until she retrieved an old SHIELD badge. It took a full minute for Skye to realize this was Peggy’s badge.

Skye looked up to find her mother talking with both Robin and Steve. He caught her eye with a smile and gave her a small nod before returning to his conversation.

This wasn’t right. She didn’t deserve to have this. If anyone should have it, it was Sharon of Melinda. But Steve had made sure she got it. Why?

_Peggy survived a war against the Nazis, lost the love of her life, and went on to start SHIELD while raising a family_ Skye reminded herself. Margaret ‘Peggy’ Carter, the woman Skye had been named after at birth, was a fucking badass. She hadn’t let anything stop her and Skye supposed they were more alike than she realized. The first SHIELD agent and the last. And now Skye, along with her parents, were fighting to rebuild her legacy.

Skye had come a long way from being the girl living in her van, desperate to find her mother.

She stared down at the badge with pride before slipping it into her pocket. There wasn’t anything she couldn’t claw her way back from, just like Peggy.

And while she hated to admit it, at least she had Peggy Carter’s granddaughter as a shrink and not some asshole man.

“Fuck,” Skye hissed under her breath, realizing Wanda was right. She was a badass, but she couldn’t keep doing this alone. She wasn’t helping her kid by not getting better and she wasn’t getting better with time, like she wanted.

She was going to have to really let Robin shrink her and while she wasn’t happy about it, she was going to do it, for her kid.

Skye felt Grant’s eyes on her and when she glanced up she found him watching her with a smile.

Fine, she’d do this for him too.

Because her kid deserved two parents who weren’t broken, and if Skye was going to give that to her it meant allowing herself to give this whole being happy thing a try, which meant giving in to her feelings for Grant Ward.

_Shit._


	27. (Skyeward) She Is Hard on Herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get so fluffy I don’t think you guys can handle it (though, I had a complaint my stories don’t tackle the psychological stuff enough or have enough angst or delve deeps enough into the emotional stuff so maybe I should not sugarcoat some of the trauma and bring more pain and shit? What do you guys think? Am I being too easy on you?).

Skye closed up her box with a small sigh and glanced over to where Alice was chasing her grandpa around. She smiled with a shake of her head and picked up her Peggy box before heading for Trip and Bobbi.

“We should open presents before she burns off all that cupcake sugar and passes out. Where’s Fitzsimmons?” They still hadn’t returned since their big fight and it was unlike Jemma to be late to anything. The fact that she hadn’t plastered on a fake smile and shown up to do her auntly duties meant this fight was worse than Skye thought. 

He shook his head sadly and her heart sank into her chest.

“When I left him, he was locked in their room crying.”

Poor Fitz.

“Yeah, about that: ladies’ night is cancelled because I have a very moody new roommate,” Bobbi informed her with a frown.

“What happened?”

They both shrugged, and Skye turned to Hunter angrily. “You. Here. _Now_.” She spat through gritted teeth.

Hunter walked over slowly and hid behind Bobbi, using her a shield as he poked his head out from her side. “Yes?”

“The three of you follow me,” Skye ordered before storming out of the room and heading for the dorms.

She made a pit stop at her to room to carefully deposit her Peggy box and when she emerged she shoved Hunter towards Fitzsimmons’ room. While she knocked, she glared at Hunter, stopping only to greet Fitz when he finally opened the door.

“Oh, Fitz,” she whispered sadly, reading out to touch his cheek. His hair was wet from a shower, but his eyes were still red and puffy from crying.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know I promised to be there for her, and I’ve been trying, but I can’t go like this.”

“I thought you were going to talk to her, what happened?”

“I tried but she wouldn’t even look at me. By the time I got here she’d already packed a bag and she stormed off to Bobbi’s room saying we needed a ‘break’.” He stared up at Skye, fresh tears in his eyes. “She just needs a few days to cool off, right? She…She’s not breaking up with me, right?”

Skye smacked Hunter upside the head so hard the sound rang through the hallway.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?” He cried, nursing the back of his head.

Skye shot him a glare, two seconds away from slapping him. “You started this!”

“I didn’t do shit.”

“Oh really? Because until you started in with your stupid accusations they were doing just fine!”

“Hey, he’s the one who was lying to her!”

Skye’s nostrils flared up in anger and Bobbi stepped between them to keep Skye from punching Hunter.

“Fitz, show him what you were doing today so he can see what your big ‘lie’ was.”

If looks could kill Hunter would be dead.

“He can fuck off,” Fitz growled. “I don’t owe him shit.”

“No,” Skye whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder, “you don’t. But maybe this will get him to feel some shame for once.”

“When hell freezes over,” Trip chuckled while Bobbi snorted in agreement.

“Oy!” Hunter argued, puffing up his chest. “I know what shame is. I just have no reason to feel it.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Fitz growled but Skye got between them, knowing killing Hunter was something Jemma would never forgive.

“Fitz, Jemma’s never going to marry you if you murder one of her blood relatives.”

Hunter snorted. “He doesn’t love my sweet, beautiful, perfect cousin enough to make an honest woman of her. That’s why she’s done with him.”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Fitz growled, shoving the ring in Hunter’s face. Or rather, he punched him in the face with it gripped in his fist, but if anyone asked what happened to Hunter’s face that was the story she was sticking to.

“What the fuck, mate?” Hunter cried from the floor, nursing his nose.

“Hunter, you ass,” Bobbi scolded as she glared down at him.

“Poor Fitz, come here,” she cooed, pulling him into a tight hug. “We’ll get her back,” Bobbi insisted, running her hands through his hair.

“Poor Fitz? Poor me!”

“Stop whining,” Trip scolded, refusing to help him up. “He didn’t even hit you that hard.”

“He hit me with a bloody rock, what the fuck was that?”

“His big secret!” Skye scowled as she plucked the ring out of Fitz’s hand and shoved it in Hunter’s face.

“Oh, fuck,” Hunter mumbled as he stared at the huge diamond.

“Yeah, dumbass.” She shook her head in disappointment before slipping it back into Fitz’s hand. “All you had to do was keep your nose out of their business and instead you caused all of this.”

“It’s not my fault she’s an emotional basket case! He could have told her they’d get married eventually just to calm her down.”

“He was trying to surprise her!” Skye screamed loudly enough to finally get Jemma to emerge from Bobbi’s room, dressed in her biggest sweater, looking ready to kill Fitz based on the glares she shot his way.

“What did you all do to Lance?”

“I slipped,” he lied, looking towards Fitz guiltily.

Oh good, so he did know what shame was.

“Too many spiked punches.

Come, crumpet, there’s a little girl waiting for you,” he offered, letting Trip help him off the floor.

“And I could use some help, Bob and I still have some gifts for her in my room.” Hunter led Jemma towards his room to give the rest of them privacy.

“I’ll talk to her,” Bobbi whispered, kissing the top of Fitz’s head sadly before releasing him.

“Don’t forget the big one in the closet,” Bobbi called, following them into the room and closing the door behind her.

Once they were alone, Trip clapped Fitz on the shoulder. “I know this sucks, but give her a few days to cool off and then you can ask her.”

“What if she doesn’t cool off before she leaves?” Fitz grumbled.

“Hey, she loves you, she’ll come around.”

“If I ask her to marry me now she’ll just think I’m doing it to keep her here.”

“Fitz, we’re all your witnesses that you’ve been planning this, okay?” Skye insisted.

“Yeah, man, no man just picks up a rock like that at the department store.”

“I had it all planned out,” Fitz whispered numbly. “I got Kate to talk Tony into talking the director into letting us all go to his big New Year’s party, so I could take her up to the balcony where we had our first kiss and ask her during the fireworks.

It was going to be perfect, just like she deserves.

I can’t put it off that long now, but I can’t just ask her because she’s mad.

What am I going to do?”

“You’ll think of something,” Trip insisted.

“We’ll help,” Skye offered, pinching his cheeks to give them color. Poor Fitz looked like the walking dead. “But for now, I need you to put on a brave face because there’s a little girl who is already sad because her Uncle Mack can’t be here and doesn’t need her Uncle Fitz to miss her party too.”

Fitz took a few deep breaths before nodding.

Hunter’s door opened, and Jemma emerged followed by Hunter and Bobbi. She met Fitz’s gaze for a moment, still angry, then huffed loudly before storming off down the hallway.

“We’ll all help,” Trip said before Fitz could crawl back into his room to give into his depression. “It’ll be the most romantic proposal anyone’s ever seen.”

“Sure,” Fitz mumbled miserably, going back into his room to grab a wrapped box from the bed.

“Let me get that,” Trip offered, grabbing it before Fitz’s shaking hands could. “You’re too heart-broken for heavy lifting.”

“Sure,” he repeated, too sad to care about feeling useless about his inability to do anything.

Skye wrapped an arm around him sadly, leading him upstairs. She tried to find comforting words to snap him out of his stupor, knowing he hated showing weakness, but the moment they arrived he transformed into the old Fitz.

“There’s my favorite girl,” he announced, leaning down and opening his arms for Alice to run into them. “Happy birthday, monkey.”

“Uncle Fitz, come one! It’s your turn to do makeup!”

He smiled and let her drag him across the room to her makeup station, all signs of his sadness gone.

“He’s going to have a breakdown later,” Trip muttered, setting Fitz’s gift down.

“Yeah, I know,” Skye sighed.

Poor Fitz.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Grant watched Skye leave with a frown, wondering what had made her so upset. But he didn’t have long to ponder because holy fuck, Steve Rogers was saying ‘hello’ to him.

He tried not to choke on his slice of pizza as he weakly said ‘hello’ back.

“You’re so lame,” Kate muttered, shaking her head.

Steve smirked, apparently used to this reaction, and glanced around to make sure his fanboy Coulson wasn’t around. After a moment he took a seat on an armchair, leaning forward to meet Grant’s eyes. “Kate’s told me all about you, Agent Ward,” he began, and Grant frowned. Great, Captain America probably hated his guts. “And I’m curious, how much do you know about how Hydra operates?”

This was a surprise. “Um, enough,” he offered lamely. “I mean, it’s why Coulson brought me back.”

“You know, my best friend was taken by Hydra and made into an assassin. They brainwashed him with machines, but I know they don’t always need to go that far to trick you into working for them. I know not everyone involved with them is bad; some deserve second chances.”

Grant blinked in confusion. Was Steve Rogers giving him a pep talk?

“Coulson is a good man and if he believes in you then I do too. I trust his judgement.”

“Please don’t let him hear you say that,” Kate muttered. “He’ll never leave you alone.”

Steve smirked in Kate’s direction before shaking his head. “Anyway, you’re not the only one deserving of a second chance. Bucky deserves one too. A lot of people would rather see him dead, but I know, as does Kate, that he can be saved. That’s where you come in: I’d like your help.”

“Me? I don’t…How? I’m pretty much useless.”

Kate pinched his side and he yelped in pain. “Stop saying stupid shit, Douglas.”

“Glad to see she’s mean to someone else too,” Steve muttered.

“Hush,” Kate ordered, still glaring at Grant. “And you are more useful than you know.”

“I’m not. Look, Kate, if they brainwashed him…I don’t know how to break that.”

“I do,” she said, getting that sad look on her face again. “We were able to get him back, but they still had the power to flip that assassin switch, so we had to find a way to really break it. We thought we had it when we tried the machine they used on your girl, but it just made him worse, so we put him on ice until we could undo their brainwashing.”

“Tony’s scientists have been working hard to do the same for agents SHIELD’s been able to save from Hydra but even he couldn’t come up with anything.”

“Luckily for us, Princess Shuri of Wakanda is smarter than Tony is,” Kate finished proudly.

“Kate…” Steve started, giving her a ‘look’.

“We can trust him,” she insisted.

Steve seemed to trust her because he nodded.

“I know you’ve been in prison, so I’ll keep this brief and your girl can fill you in on everything else you missed.

After what happened in New York and Sokovia and Nigeria the United Nations decided they wanted to start a registry for people like your girl and our girl Wanda. Their idea was to register anyone with powers, so they could regulate them,” Kate muttered with disgust. “Because that isn’t a recipe for disaster.

Anyway, Tony, meaning well, supported it which led to him and Steve here breaking up.” Steve shot her a glare, but she ignored him. “And because of that, some of our Avengers are technically fugitives so they’ve been hiding out in Wakanda, which is where we’ve been keeping Barnes.

And as you know, I left SHIELD long before that clusterfuck with Hydra went down and was very happily living my vigilante lifestyle when Tony came crying to me to join the Avengers and I felt sorry for him, so I did. Plus, I missed Nat, so,” she shrugged.

“It wasn’t safe for Wanda to be on the run, so I helped smuggle her back to the compound and every few weeks I sneak away to check on Barnes and deliver Steve supplies. On my last visit, Shuri finally found a way to deprogram him by rebooting his brain like a computer and I made the mistake of suggesting we go to Tony first, to test her plan on one of our agents to make sure it would work.”

“How was that a mistake?” Grant asked, confused.

“Look, we did a good thing,” Kate offered with a sigh. “But we should have just deprogrammed James first.”

“Kate, it’s not your fault,” Steve whispered, but Kate ignored him.

“If I hadn’t been so worried about the rebooting making him worse, he’d still be here.”

“What happened?”

“The girls flew to New York to deliver a copy of the program to Tony, so he could deprogram our agents and to make sure it worked. They were only gone for three days but when they got back he was gone,” Steve explained, his expression pained.

“There’s been political unrest since T’Challa took the throne and we now know Hydra’s been supplying the rebels with weapons. And in exchange, they infiltrated the guards to kidnap Bucky.

Kate and I have been raiding known Hydra cells, trying to find him, but they’re all empty.

Hydra is basically running our government now, they no longer need to hide.

What we need is to find their new base of operations, so we can save him and anyone else they’ve taken.”

Well, _damn_.

“So, as you can see, Douglas, we need someone who can walk in the front door like they own the place. Someone like you.”

“I’ll be honest, I’m not sure Coulson’s plan to send me back to Hydra will work, I’ve been gone too long, and I was stupid enough to get caught. But I promise I’ll try and if I can get back in, I’ll do my best to find where they’re keeping prisoners.”

“See,” Kate smiled smuggle in Steve’s direction, “told you he was our man.”

“I’ll settle for ‘try’.” Steve held out his hand and Grant took it, still dumbstruck as they shook on it.

“I can help too,” Wanda said, appearing from behind Steve.

“It’s not safe,” Steve insisted as he glanced back at her.

“There are only two people in this room who have worked for Hydra. You need both of us. And I’m sick of being locked away in that compound like a prisoner. Tony will never know. I’ll be here, helping Skye, and I can help you too.”

When Steve said nothing, she stared down at him with a small pout. “Please, Grant is not the only one who wishes to make amends.”

“She has a point, Rogers. Douglas here may know how the spy side of things operates but she lived in their labs. With everything they both know put together, we can do this.”

“I don’t like it,” Steve argued.

“Too fucking bad.

James is not the only one who needs our help. There are still dozens of missing agents and students from The Academy and not to mention missing enhanced civilians. We have to do this for them too,” Kate argued.

That was Kate for you, always seeking justice.

“Fine, but you can’t go into the field, Wanda. They’ll arrest you on sight, or worse-kill you. I’m not risking it.”

“They can try, but they will fail,” she warned.

Steve sighed loudly and ran a hand over his beard.

“Fine, I will be a good girl, but you, Clint, and Tony can’t keep me hidden like a child forever, Steven.”

“Fine,” he conceded, and just in time because fanboy Coulson was descending on him with a stack of trading cards.

“Run,” Kate warned Grant as she slipped away before he approached.

“Have fun,” Wanda teased, rushing after Kate.

“Don’t leave me,” Steve hissed after them. Once he realized they’d abandoned him, he turned a pleading stare to Grant, but he was shit out of luck.

“Sorry, but I see my girl,” Grant lied.

“You’re all the worst!” Steve hissed, glaring a hole into Grant’s back as he ran way.

Grant felt bad for Steve but there was no way he could handle the second-hand embarrassment of watching his boss make a fool of himself.

“Running away already, Ward?” Trip asked, blocking his way.

“No, but I am running from _that_.” He motioned to where Coulson was talking Steve’s ear off.

Trip winced from embarrassment and shook his head. “That’s just sad.”

“Yeah, I’m embarrassed for him,” Grant admitted as he took a seat at a stool to finish his slice of pizza.

Trip took a seat across from him, reaching for a cupcake. “So, you and my girl looked pretty close earlier.”

Grant shrugged, not in the mood to discuss their relationship with anyone but Skye herself.

“So, does this mean you popped the question? Or are you planning to date her first?”

Grant shot Trip a glare, already sick of the teasing. “How long you guys planning to bring that up?”

“Until your wedding day?” Trip teased with a shrug, biting into his cupcake.

Grant was so getting Hunter back for this but judging by his bruised face, someone already had.

“Seriously though, you do understand Skye comes with baggage now, right?”

Grant closed his eyes with a sigh. Did they really have to do this now?

“You don’t get to have her without having the kid too.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Grant replied irritably.

“Do you really think you’re ready to be someone’s dad?”

“Honestly? No. But is anyone ever really ready?”

Trip shrugged. “No, but I don’t think you really understand what you’re signing up for.”

“Well, you’re wrong. I love Skye and I love that kid and maybe I’m not ready for this but I’m going to work my ass off to be a good dad. That may not be good enough for you but luckily for me it’s not up to you, it’s up to Skye.”

Trip smirked condescendingly. “Yeah, well, I don’t think you understand that being a parent isn’t just playing tea parties and having a little person worship you. It’s stressful and hard and takes a lot more work than you’ve ever done in your life. You not only have to keep her alive but happy and healthy and safe and loved. It’s a non-stop job that you’ll have until the day you die.”

“Good. I’m looking forward to it,” Grant said seriously, staring Trip down.

He understood he was trying to play the overprotective big brother here but honestly, it was none of his fucking business and Grant was done walking on eggshells around these people trying to prove his worth. The only people whose opinions he gave a damn about were Skye and mini-Skye.

“Fair enough, but what about the other thing?”

Grant took another bite with a frown. “What other thing?”

“You know? The fact that she’s not yours.”

“I don’t care about that,” Grant whispered. “It’s probably better that she isn’t. No kid needs my messed-up DNA.”

“Yeah, except in her case she has Cal’s DNA.”

That hadn’t even crossed his mind. Alice was perfect. Who her biological parents were didn’t matter to him because Skye was her mom and she was clearly doing a damn fine job of raising her.

“Are you going to be able to live with that? Knowing Skye is keeping that little girl away from her father?”

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s a piece of shit and Alice is better off with Skye.”

“So, you’re fine with all the lying?”

Grant shrugged. “What lying? Skye is her mom, she’s the one raising her, it doesn’t matter her made her.”

“Yeah, but this all started because May kept Skye from him.

I hate the guy, but if some woman kept my kid away from me…” He shook his head with a whistle.

“Because she was trying to do what was best for Skye! He’s a psychopath! He doesn’t deserve a child. May did the right thing back then and Skye’s doing the right thing now.”

“So, you agree that it’s okay for Skye to keep Alice away from her father because she’s doing what’s best for her?”

Grant sighed. “Of course.

Kids need to be protected. She’s doing what she needs to do, and I stand behind her one hundred percent.”

“You were kind of freaked out earlier when you found out she thinks you’re her father,” Trip said calmly.

Was that what this was about?

“Yeah, I was, but not because I don’t get why she did it. I mean, what was she going to do? Tell her the truth? I just…” He sighed. “I’m already such a disappointment to Skye, the thought that I was already a disappointment to that little girl hurt, okay? I’m worried she’s going to grow up hating me.”

“Man, I see the way she lights up every time she sees you. You don’t have to worry about her hating you.”

“Maybe not now, but when she’s older and wondering why I wasn’t around for the first three years of her life she might.”

Trip laughed and shook his head. “You overthink too much.”

He wasn’t wrong.

“There is just one thing I need to know,” Grant whispered, hoping Trip told him the truth. “Her mother…What happened to her?” Keeping her away from a psychopath was one thing but keeping her away from her birth mother? Grant wasn’t sure he could live with that guilt without knowing she was a monster just like Cal or well, the other thing.

“You sure you want to know?” Trip asked, suddenly somber.

Grant could feel the answer was bad, but he had to know if he was going to do this dad thing.

“No, but I need to know.”

“She went crazy,” Trip answered quietly. “He kept her chained up like an animal, tortured her, then took her baby and told her she was dead, and she lost her mind and…” He could see Trip struggling to continue. “Then she just gave up, man. Lost her will to live and…”

Grant could put together the rest. “I get the picture.” So long as there wasn’t some poor woman out there missing her kid he was good.

Before they could continue their conversation, a tiny monkey climbed up his leg and into his lap.

“Well, hello there. How can I help you?” He teased with a smirk.

Alice stared up at him with a smile and batted her big, beautiful brown eyes at him. “Can I have some pizza, please?”

He laughed and reached for another slice. “Of course, princess. What kind do you want?”

“I just want bite of yours, silly.” She beamed, showing off her adorable dimples.

“You sure?”

She nodded happily, and he offered up his plate and watched in amusement as she used both of her tiny hands to pick up the big slice and take a huge bite. A long string of cheese stuck to her chin as she set the slice down and he and Trip tried their best not to laugh as she made a big show of chewing, resembling a chipmunk with her full cheeks.

“Come here.” Grant chuckled, wiping sauce off her face. 

“Yummy?” He asked once she swallowed.

She nodded with a sly smile. “Since I has food can I have a cupcake?”

“Man, you just got scammed by a three-year-old,” Trip chuckled.

“Kid’s got skills,” he teased with a shake of his head and a smile. He looked around for Skye to ask her permission, but she was already shaking her head with amusement in his direction.

He gave her a shrug of defeat, knowing he’d gotten played. He motioned his head towards the cupcake tower and Skye nodded in approval. He reached over and grabbed one from the top, handing it over to the baby who took it happily.

“Thank you!”

“You’re welcome. Here baby girl,” he offered, pulling the liner down so she could take a big bite.

“Yummy,” she said through a mouthful, her face covered in icing. “You has some too,” she ordered, shoving the rest into his mouth with a loud giggle. 

“Yeah, she really hates you,” Trip taunted, shaking his head.

Grant was too busy trying to keep all of the cake in his mouth while he chewed to flip Trip the bird behind the baby’s back. He could feel icing up his nose and he was sure he looked like an idiot, sitting there with cake all over his face, but the baby was clapping with amusement and that was all that mattered.

“Delicious,” he finally managed to get out once he swallowed.

“My mommy make,” she informed him, licking icing off her fingers.

“Well, your mommy is an amazing baker,” he replied with a smile.

She smiled proudly. “I know. I can has more please, Uncle Trip?”

“Fine, but only because most of your first one ended up on Ward’s face,” he teased, giving her another which she eagerly dug into.

“Someone’s a mess,” Skye ‘tsked’, glancing down at the pair with a smile. “We should get you cleaned up,” she said, picking Alice up out of Grant’s lap and setting her down on the table so she could wipe up Alice’s hands and chin with a napkin.

Alice kicked her feet happily while she finished her cupcake but made a big face of protest when Skye began wiping her face.

“Mama, I’m a big girl,” she pouted, trying to do it herself.

“I don’t care, you’re still my baby,” Skye whispered, kissing her nose with a smile.

“So, you ready to open your presents, baby girl?”

Alice shook her head with a pout. “No yet, mama. Can I has cupcake for Uncle Fitz? He has a sad.” 

“I know baby,” Skye whispered with a frown.

“Where he go, mama?”

Skye stared at her in confusion for a moment. “What do you mean baby? He’s right over there with Dimitri,” she answered, pointing to where they were playing with blocks.

“That’s not Uncle Fitz,” Alice said with a frown. “It look like him, but no one’s inside.”

Skye glanced towards Grant then Trip in confusion before taking a seat next to Grant, so she was eye-level with the baby. “Sweetheart, what do you mean by that?”

“You know, mama. The sun’s gone.”

“Baby, I don’t understand.”

Alice sighed in annoyance. “Uncle Fitz is the sun. Sometime you go outside and the sun is big and hot but sometime it cloudy and cold but the sun still there. When Uncle Fitz is sad he feel cloudy but he still the sun. And now the sun is gone. It like nighttime but with no stars. Uncle Fitz is gone, mama.”

Skye could feel Grant’s eyes on her, along with his worry, but she was too busy fighting back the urge to cry to deal with him just yet.

“Angel, Uncle Fitz is just really, really sad right now and sometimes when we’re sad, we have to turn off our feelings to pretend we’re okay. Kind of like turning off a light switch. Do you understand?”

Alice shook her head. “But, mama, you sad all the time but your light never go off. You feel like rainbows and sometime the rainbow is really bright and sometime it darker but it always a rainbow. You never go away like him.”

Skye felt her heart melt. She pulled the baby into her lap and kissed her cheek before taking her little face in her hands with a smile. “That’s because no matter how sad I get, I still have you and you make me so, so happy, baby girl.”

“So, I keep the light on?” Alice asked with her eyes wide.

“That’s right,” Skye said proudly.

“Okay!” She cried with a big smile before hopping off of Skye’s lap and making a run for Fitz.

“Don’t be sad, Uncle Fitz! You always have me! And mama says you can have a cupcake!” She announced, throwing her arms around him.

Skye covered her mouth with both hands as she smiled and tried not to cry. Every single day this kid found ways to surprise and amaze her. Skye was in awe of this tiny, perfect person. How had she gotten so lucky?

“She’s amazing,” Grant whispered, watching Alice with a huge smile on his face.

Skye glanced over at him for a long moment, watching him with a small, sad smile.

“Right,” she whispered, leaning over to wipe at his chin with her thumb. “You’re a mess,” she teased.

“A hot mess, I hope,” he joked, eyes still on the munchkin.

“Oh, definitely hot,” Skye whispered, getting his attention.

“You’re not bad yourself,” he whispered, meeting her eyes.

Skye smirked, her cheeks going red. “Well, hot or not, you could use one of these,” she offered, handing him a napkin.

“Thanks.” He wiped at his face, but his shirt was still covered in icing and crumbs. She tried not to laugh but couldn’t help it, he was adorable.

“You missed a spot,” she muttered, reaching over to wipe some remaining icing off his bottom lip with her thumb.

“I probably just need a shower,” he said innocently enough but it sent her mind to places it really didn’t need to be right now. 

Without thinking, she licked the icing off her thumb, remembering how hot he’d been the one and only time they’d showered together. He’d been battered and bloody and sexy as hell and she wouldn’t mind joining him to lick the icing off his body.

“Are you trying to kill me?” He moaned in complaint and Skye suddenly realized she’d been licking frosting off her fingers while staring down at him like he was her next meal.

She could feel how turned on the poor boy was with her powers, but she didn’t need them to know what he wanted to do to her. His lust-filled gaze said everything she needed to know.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “But you still have…” she brushed her thumb across the corner of his mouth but this time he caught her and began sucking the icing off her skin, his eyes never leaving hers.

“You guys are gross, I’m leaving,” Trip complained.

“What’s wrong, Trip? Can’t handle being around a real relationship?” Kate taunted.

Skye and Ward ignored them for the moment, too busy fucking each other with their eyes to care that they had an audience.

“That isn’t a relationship, that’s two people who haven’t gotten laid in four years desperate to scratch an itch.”

“Hey!” They both said in unison, shooting glares in his direction.

“Funny, that’s what I call your fake relationship with Hunter,” Kate teased, leaning her elbows on the table as she smirked up at Trip with a twinkle in her eyes.

“On no,” Skye groaned.

“Now, Katie, I think we both know you’re just in the mood for some meaningless sex because your boyfriend needs to be charged.”

“They’re doing that thing,” Grant complained.

“Is that you offering to be my personal gigolo?”

“This is bad,” Skye finished, shaking her head.

Trip and Kate were best friends and worked well together as partners, kind of like Fitzsimmons, except instead of bickering in a lab all day they did dangerous, stupid shit in the field. And of course, the rush of nearly dying got them off, so far too many times their missions together ended in them destroying personal property whilst throwing each other around while having what Trip called ‘mind-blowing, earth-shattering sex’. Skye thought it was more like ‘two idiots who needed to admit they loved each other and get their shit together’ but they were both too unreasonable to do it.

Skye didn’t mind their snarky flirtation but when they crossed that line between being friend and being friends-with-benefits, someone always ended up with a broken heart. And because Trip had broken Kate’s heart first it seemed his karmic payment was that it was usually his heart that was broken.

“Wait, how do you know about the thing?” Skye asked, glancing over at Grant in surprise. “I thought Garrett did everything in his power to keep her from making you see reason?”

“Are you kidding me? Who do you think was the one taking care of her when your asshole best friend over there broke her heart?

And…I don’t want to talk about Garrett here,” he muttered, embarrassed.

Skye frowned. She hadn’t intended to bring up the sore subject, she’d just been caught up in their effortless banter.

“Fair enough, but I’d like to remind you that he was twenty-three and stupid and afraid of commitment and when he finally came to his senses, she was dating his best friend.”

“What was she going to do, Skye? Wait around her entire life for him to grow up?”

Skye made a face and was prepared to argue with him, but she couldn’t. He had a good point.

“No, you’re right, he’s the idiot,” she muttered, shaking her head.

And said idiot was leaning across the table, smirking at Kate in a way that would get most women to open their legs, but Kate wasn’t most women. She was much more stubborn.

“You’re looking good, Trip.”

“You saw me three days ago, Kate.”

“I know, but I didn’t know you were leaving me to come back to this shithole. Who am I going to watch _Drag Race_ with every week? I’m going to miss having you down the hall.”

“Figured you’d be too busy with Steve to even notice I was gone.”

Kate reached across the table and stole the rest of his cupcake. “You sound jealous.”

“Of the hot superhero with an ass made of steel? Why would I be?”

Kate ate the cupcake with a smirk. “Funny, Steve and I have been working together for two years and I never once noticed his ass.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve always been a better bisexual than you are.”

Kate snorted. “You mean whore.”

“That too.”

“This is going to end badly,” Grant muttered, shaking his head.

“Well, at least we’re not this much of a mess,” Skye whispered, giving him a smile. Sure, they had their problems, but at least no one had die-No, plenty of people had died. But at least Grant was willing to make a commitment, which Trip, for all his good traits, still couldn’t do.

“Speaking of whores, you still pretending your boyfriend isn’t going to go running back to his wife?”

“And what are you up to these days? Still wasting time waiting for Mr. Robot to return or has your girlfriend finally gotten over-no, wait, she’s dating the shrink now, isn’t she?”

Grant glanced at Skye with a ‘look’. “Chavez and-”

Skye nodded. “Yeah, for like a year now.”

“I didn’t even know Kate and America had broken-”

“Oh yeah, it was after you two got into the huge fight before my dad got the team together.”

Grant frowned. “I forgot about that fight.”

“Yeah, you really should have listened to her. She was right about Garrett.”

He shot Skye a glare. “Geeze, Skye, thanks for stating the obvious.”

“Anytime, baby,” she teased, leaning into him to give him a playful nudge.

He glanced down at her with a smile and wrapped an arm around her. “How long before we break this up?”

Skye shrugged. “Let them get it out of their system.”

“You know what’s weird? If they’d never broken up they could be married with like pre-teens right now.”

That thought had never occurred to Skye and now she felt sad because she knew deep down Trip regretted not settling down with Kate when he had the chance. The poor bastard was so unlucky in love and it was because no matter who he fell in love with at the end of the day they weren’t Kate.

“That’s so sad.”

“You’re still a hopeless romantic,” he teased, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“Lucky for you,” Skye muttered with a pout.

“I came back for you after SHIELD fell for a reason. You should have come back to L.A. with me,” she whispered, doing her best not to look sad but she was failing. “Instead of wasting your time in this dump waiting for Simmons to love you back. I don’t know why you always go for the ones who aren’t emotionally available. You’re better than that.”

Skye pulled herself out of Grant’s arms, just in case this got messy and she had to break it up.

“Is that your way of asking me to stay?”

Kate shook her head with a frown. “I’ve been waiting for years for you to grow up and…” She sighed. “You know what, that isn’t the point. I don’t want you to stay and be my boyfriend, I want you to stay because you’re my best friend and my person and I got used to having you around all the time.

I spend most of my time with Steve, who’s brooding over a boy, and it was nice to come home to you. Everyone is leaving or having kids and I don’t know, I’m just going to miss you.”

Trip reached over and took her hand guiltily. “Katie, I’m sorry, but I belong here.

But, you know, you could come live-”

“No,” Kate snorted. “I refuse to take orders from Coulson and watch you screwing Bobbi’s husband.”

“Are you…jealous?”

“No,” Kate lied. “I just hate seeing you waste your time with someone who is never going to love you the way you deserve.”

“It’s not like I have a chance with you, so why not keep myself busy with Hunter until someone better comes along?”

Skye pinched the bridge of her nose while groaning. _Here comes the heartbreak_ , she thought.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Kate said, moving around the table to stare up at him. “You’re going to be too busy wasting your time with him that you’re going to miss the next me that comes along, and the thing is, we’re rare. Someday, you’re going to realize I’m the person you should have married and by then it’s going to be too late and you’re going to find yourself alone and that breaks my heart.”

She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You deserve to the world and I just want you to be happy, even if it is with Hunter. Just promise me you’ll stop settling for less than you deserve,” she whispered. Then, without another word, she was gone, leaving Trip blinking in confusion.

“What just happened?”

“You’re an idiot,” Skye said, shaking her head in disappointment. “The literal love of your life has been right there, down the hall, for the last year and a half and not once did it occur to you to get your head out of your ass and win her back?”

“But Hunter and-”

“Do you know where you ‘not’ boyfriend is right now? Screwing his _wife_. Or did you not notice they’re both missing?

Unless you put your foot down and demand a real relationship, this is just going to end with them following through on that cancelled third wedding and with your heart being broken, again.

Kate’s right, you deserve better, you’re just too much of a coward to get it.”

“She could have made a move too!”

“You’re an idiot,” Grant muttered, shaking his head. “That was her asking you to choose her and you didn’t.”

Trip stared at him in shock for a moment before getting angry. “I do not need relationship advice from you of all people.”

“Um, excuse me but he has a better chance of getting laid tonight than you do,” Skye said seriously.

“Really?” Grant asked hopefully.

“In your dreams,” Skye answered, rolling her eyes.

_Men_.

“Go after her, idiot.”

“No,” Grant growled, glaring at Trip. “Unless you’re serious about making a commitment, don’t bother.”

“Grant-”

“No, if he gets to give me the third degree about his best friend I get to do it to him for mine.

I’m serious, Trip, you’ve hurt her enough for one lifetime.

It was a big deal for her to trust someone enough to be intimate with them after what she went through and then when things got too serious you fucked up the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“Hey, I tried to make it right, but she’d already moved on.”

“So? When they broke up she told you how she felt, and you rejected her.”

“Eli was my best friend, I couldn’t do that to him. And after he died…It just never felt right, okay? What kind of man dates his dead best friend’s ex-girlfriend.”

“The kind of man who dated her first?”

“Grant has a point. I mean, you could have tried after some time went by…”

“I did but by then she was with Chavez.”

“And then you had your little crush on Jemma and _wow_ , you two have shitty timing. And I thought Ward and I were bad.”

“Thanks for the reminder, sweetheart,” Grant muttered.

“Anytime, baby,” Skye winked.

Trip sighed. “Whatever, I don’t know why we’re having this conversation. Kate and I are just friend now and we both like it that way.”

“And we both believe you,” Grant insisted, mocking him.

“Fuck off, Ward,” Trip complained, scanning the room for Kate. She sat on the arm of the couch, watching the babies play with a smile and Skye could see the small sigh he released and feel regret washing over him. The poor bastard was still desperately in love with her, but he was too afraid to do anything about it and Skye knew she couldn’t force him to get over it. She’d tried. All she could do was be there for him when Hunter inevitably broke his heart and he found himself alone again and wishing he’d went after Kate when he had the chance.

She just hoped that when he was finally ready to really be with someone, it was with someone who was ready to be with him too. Trip deserved to be happy too.

Skye glanced towards Ward with a small smile, grateful they had another chance.

“I’m going to go hang out with my friend and leave you two to be gross,” Trip muttered, leaving them to join Kate and the kids.

Skye rolled her eyes, but her gaze never left Grant’s face.

“What?” Grant asked, glancing up at her once they were alone. “Still got something on my face?”

“Just a little, babe,” she teased with a smirk as she leaned down to press a kiss on the corner of his mouth. She could feel his heart stop as she did it and she let her lips linger for a moment before pulling back and licking the icing off her lips. “There, all gone.”

“Skye…what are you doing?” He asked, his heart racing now. “You were the one who said-”

“I know what I said, and I’ve had all day to think about it and I can handle this,” she whispered, cupping his cheek with one hand. “I mean, we need to talk and figure out how we want to make this work but…” she shrugged. “I love you and I don’t want to end up like those two because I’m afraid to do anything about it.”

Grant took her hand and pulled her between his legs with a smile. He moved his hands into her hair and pulled her close, resting his forehead against hers. “Does this mean you’re ready to maul me sexually?” He teased, making her laugh.

“Maybe later,” she whispered, leaning in for a kiss. “But let’s start with this first-”

“Mommy! Time for presents!” Alice screeched from across the room, interrupting.

Skye shook her head with a sigh. “To be continued,” she muttered, pulling away and taking his hand.

“Come on, Ward, ready to entertain a sugared-up three-year-old?”

He followed her with a smile. “Always.”


End file.
